Whether it’s regarding licensing and testing requirements or drawing parallels between post-shooting gun control propositions and the idea of banning cars to fight drunk drivers, comparisons between guns and vehicles – usually cars – are a common fixture in the Great Internet Gun Debate. “Well,” I thought, “let’s ride that analogy train all the way to the end of the line.” So with that . . .
The marriage of a futuristic aesthetics and questionable performance. Both popularized by movies in the 1980s.
Beretta 92F & Hummer
Navigator84 / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)
Military legacy. Grossly oversized in most contexts.
“Mare’s leg” & Harley-Davidson Softail
Outlaw spirit coupled with quintessentially American style. One-handed operation not recommended.
Charter Arms Pink Lady & Dodge LaFemme
Courtesy Charter Arms
Functionally identical to its less feminine version. Pandering, paternalistic marketing strategy.
TEC-9 & Windowless White Panel Van
Highly stigmatized. Commonly associated with criminals and illicit activity. Mere ownership is sufficient to arouse suspicion.
Nambu Type 94 & 1986 Suzuki Samurai
Vitaly V. Kuzmin / CC BY-SA (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)
Top-heavy. Notoriously unsafe. Better luck next time, Japan.
Any ‘Smart’ Gun & Minority Report Self-Driving Cars
Speculative technology from the annals of science fiction. Lofty ambition tail-wagging proof-of-concept dog. Exists in dystopian societies where due process has been abolished and a legal precedent for the prosecution of thought-crime is common practice.
Ruger P-series & Buick Skylark
By Bull-Doser – Own work, Public Domain, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=17386112
Blocky, charmingly outdated workhorse long overtaken by sleeker models from parent manufacturer.
Taurus Judge & Chevy El Camino
By Accord14 – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=76376020
Hybrid resulting in less than the sum of its constituent parts.