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Wooohooo! We have another actual prize again for this week’s winner, this time courtesy of Chris Bushnell at . . .

The funniest, most creative caption posted in the comments before midnight Sunday will receive the assortment of Souvenir Patch’s gunniest products, pictured below. And don’t worry if you can’t sew, these things will iron on .

But if you can’t manage to dream up anything clever enough to win our little contest, that’s OK too. Chris has offered TTAG readers a 15% discount on anything they purchase. All you have to do is use the coupon code PATCHUSA at checkout. Good luck. We’ll announce the winner on Monday.

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  1. Mayor Bloomberg unveils the proto type cycle being considered for the bike share program in New York City.

  2. Nigel and Fergal kept the beaches of southwest Devonshire free of the toughs and rogues that preyed upon the summer throngs in less fortunate resorts on the coast…

  3. Obama calls for immediate ban on bicycle manufacturing, claiming that “no one needs a bike” in this day and age. After soiling his knickers, Chuck Schumer called Schwinn and Huffy “merchants of death” and introduced legislation banning the sale or possession of bicycle tires. Joe Biden stated that “If you have to get from point A to point B, a hot wheels trike is all you need.”

  4. While the dominance of Britain’s Royal Navy achieved great reknown, the equally peerless Royal Cycle Guard was relegated to obscurity.

  5. A well regulated Bicylce, being necessary to the security of a free Outdoor Recreation Area, the right of the people to pedal and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

  6. Amazon quickly revamped their gun delivery system from earlier days, employing boxes for easier stackability

  7. With gasoline at record highs and having spent their entire savings on ammunition, Farrago and Leghorn are off to the range.

  8. Billy, Billy, give me your answer true
    I love shooting, do you love it too
    Pistol or rifle or shotgun
    Throw lead, I’ll reload
    The bullets fly by as you and I
    Ride a killcycle built for two

    A killcycle built for two

  9. The early production Schwinn PatrolMaster 6000 series still required some tuning, being too effective against pursuers and reatively ineffective against pursuees.

  10. I can’t think of anything funny to say but I’ve already zip tied my Mosin Nagent to my road bike. I can’t believe I never thought of this before!

  11. While little appreciated today, what we now call “prepping” actually began in post World War I Britain where so-called “Prep Blokes” came to realize that both a supply of arms and a bugout vehicle would be needed in case of Zeppelin attacks from the dreaded Hun and the chaos that would surely follow.

  12. Knowing the Queen’s penchant for bicycles, the Royal Infantry created the now infamous Queenie Bicycle Battalion to great fanfare and ‘Queenies’ (as these modified bicycles were called) became very popular with the commoners post-WWII. However, after the roving ‘Queenie’ bicycle gang reign of terror on London’s streets in ’58, all bicycles must now be registered with the government, and riders must subject to a background check before receiving bicycle licenses.

  13. Now 007, I was told that you needed to win a bike race to get close to your target, so if you would step outside for a moment. Here we have a two seater bike right? WRONG! it actually has an assortment of firearms that I duct taped to it myself. Um, Q how is this supposed to help me win a bike race? Well James would you pass the guy riding this. Good point Q, you’ve out done yourself, I’m guaranteed to win!

  14. BREAKING NEWS – British Secret Service agents laughed off set of new Monty Python movie!
    Producers of the new Monty Python movie hire British Intelligence agents as security personnel.
    After numerous scandals, exhaustive coverups, and subsequent impeachment, Obama and Biden needing a job, were spotted in their best Hollywood makeup pulling guard duty on the set of a new Monty Python movie. When asked why all they could say was,”It’s for the children”!

  15. VIPER (Visible Intermodal Protection and Response) squad from TSA (Testicle Squeezing Administration) regrets asking for expanded authority over all modes of transportation.

  16. Before Marvin Heemeyer uparmored his bulldozer and before Shawn Nelson stole a tank, there was these guys.

  17. “Good thing, you gentlemen, aren’t carrying concealed. Otherwise, I’d have to arrest you. You’re good to go. Enjoy your stay!”

  18. Charlie and Frank decided that if this stunt couldn’t get Gay Marriage legislation passed in Minnesota then nothing could.

  19. Well son this a picture from a time when the beach patrol actually meant something. Now its just life guards in silly red speedos but back then well just look at the picture.

  20. And don’t worry if you can’t sew, these things will iron on.

    What makes you think I’m more likely to own an iron than a needle and thread?

  21. While lightweight and maneuverable, the early versions of the ExerPedalBang were easily stolen and French legislation requiring firearms storage made acquiring an adequately large safe difficult. After it’s failure, the French military made the decision to invest in long poles with white flags. When asked why, the French Premier stated, “It’s for the children.”.

  22. Illustration from Mein Kampf: The beginnings of the Wonder Weapons Program. This crew-served assault bicycle was said to be designed in a Munich beer hall on a paper napkin.

  23. Back when I was your age, we didn’t have no fancy car. We peddled our ass to the range, 20 miles thru 5 feet of snow, uphill, both ways

  24. “Hogue actually got it’s start not with pistol grips, but with steering wheel adapters for the centerfire bicycle.”

  25. The National Rifle Association’s steering committee has come a very long way since the 1940’s….

  26. Sequester Hits ATF Patrols!
    BATF agents Werner Gatman and Leo Merde pedal toward the U.S.-Mexico border atop a Schwinn High Intensity Tactical Unit. While admitting they miss their scary black SUV, the duo said riding tandem never felt so safe. “I know Leo’s always got my back,” said Gatman.

  27. Well son, you see, when a mommy gun and a daddy gun fall in love… …& 9 months later these guys deliver brand new baby guns.

  28. Frank: “Will people think this is weird for a bike?:
    Bob: “Probably..the steering wheel does look a bit out of place.”

  29. there was an episode from king of the hill about his

    Bobby: “Can I put a gun rack on my bike?”

    Hank “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that?”

    • I like it… Can’t wait to get back to AZ… I’ll still wear one (most of the time) but by choice not Overlord…

  30. Maynard and Felix felt cheated when The Army chose the Willys Jeep over their concept of the “General Purpose Vehicle.”

  31. After the success of their airplane, the Wright brothers return to their true passion, the bike shop in Dayton, hoping to capitalize on their reputation.

  32. Virgil and his domestic partner Harry were very tired of being harassed by the weightlifters at muscle beach.

  33. Elvis graciously allows Heinrich to try driving his personal “Mississippi Battle Tank” while on holiday

  34. Dan and Robert cross the finish line in the unlimited class bicycle race held this Friday a solid 1/2 mile ahead of the peloton . Other riders erred on the side of caution all mentioning something about “in the cross-hairs”.

  35. “There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away and we’ll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.”

  36. OK, I’m a little late to the party here. Time sort of got away from me. It was that kind of weekend.

    But we do have a winner. It was kalel666 with his cover of ‘A Bicyle Built for Two’:

    Billy, Billy, give me your answer true
    I love shooting, do you love it too?
    Pistol or rifle or shotgun,
    Throw lead, I’ll reload.
    The bullets fly by, as you and I
    Ride a killcycle built for two.
    A killcycle built for two.


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