Weekend Photo Caption Contest

Wooohooo! We have another actual prize again for this week’s winner, this time courtesy of Chris Bushnell at SouvenirPatch.com . . .

The funniest, most creative caption posted in the comments before midnight Sunday will receive the assortment of Souvenir Patch’s gunniest products, pictured below. And don’t worry if you can’t sew, these things will iron on .

But if you can’t manage to dream up anything clever enough to win our little contest, that’s OK too. Chris has offered TTAG readers a 15% discount on anything they purchase. All you have to do is use the coupon code PATCHUSA at checkout. Good luck. We’ll announce the winner on Monday.


  1. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    The first attempts at a German armored personal carrier didn’t go over very well.

  2. avatar William Burke says:

    Hoover’s G-Men were saddened and perturbed by the 1938 FBI budget cuts.

  3. avatar Sammy says:

    Mayor Bloomberg unveils the proto type cycle being considered for the bike share program in New York City.

    1. avatar Bluesman007 says:

      Fortunately, none of the shotguns has a pistol grip. However, the bayonets must be removed in certain neighborhoods.

      1. avatar B says:

        Seems like it would just be much easier to remove Bloomberg than all those pistol grips.

        1. avatar Sammy says:

          Hey, free people of NYC,^^^^^^^^^^^ !!!

  4. avatar Larry Smith says:

    James Bond and “Q” during the post war Clement Atlee Nationalization Campaign.

  5. avatar SW IA says:

    Alas, the French were a bit late in the WWII ground support effort.

  6. avatar jwm says:

    Even by the rather loose standards of a Bond film these 2 villians were too silly to make the cut.

  7. avatar Texheim says:

    Look ‘ma, errrrr, guns!

  8. avatar DB says:

    Nigel and Fergal kept the beaches of southwest Devonshire free of the toughs and rogues that preyed upon the summer throngs in less fortunate resorts on the coast…

  9. avatar gof says:

    It’s time for Burning Man!

    1. avatar William Burke says:


  10. avatar Aharon says:

    Chicago mobsters riding past the real estate they own.

  11. avatar Stilicho says:

    Remember Marty, you have to turn on the Flux Capacitor at precisely 8.5 mph.

  12. avatar KCK says:

    Yea, Yea, I know, Newtons first law, but rifles for an accelerator and pistols for the brake??

    1. avatar KCK says:

      Of course I meant 3rd

  13. avatar Nate says:

    The French Army, armed with the nation’s entire arsenal, pedals their way to the Maginot Line.

  14. avatar racer88 says:

    The first prototype of “Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang.”

    1. avatar nd says:

      You got mine!! +1

  15. avatar Stilicho says:

    Obama calls for immediate ban on bicycle manufacturing, claiming that “no one needs a bike” in this day and age. After soiling his knickers, Chuck Schumer called Schwinn and Huffy “merchants of death” and introduced legislation banning the sale or possession of bicycle tires. Joe Biden stated that “If you have to get from point A to point B, a hot wheels trike is all you need.”

    1. avatar racer88 says:

      “Buy a trike. Buy a trike.”

  16. avatar Ralph says:

    Bike lane? We don’t need no stinking bike lane.

      1. avatar Pat says:

        Yup. Simple and clean.

  17. avatar rambam says:

    Cousin, you call it SHTF, we call it AITUK — Anarchy in the U.K.

  18. avatar Colt Magnum says:

    “Hello, we’re from the government and we’re here to help. Trust us.”

  19. avatar Stilicho says:

    The Fahrradgewehr saw VERY limited action on the Eastern Front

  20. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    In Texas, picnicking involves Texas ants, in turn necessitating Texas pest control.

  21. avatar kalel666 says:

    And your little dog, too! And anyone you ever said hello to!

  22. avatar SpeleoFool says:

    While the dominance of Britain’s Royal Navy achieved great reknown, the equally peerless Royal Cycle Guard was relegated to obscurity.

  23. avatar darth says:

    Who needs a kickstand when a Winchester will do?

  24. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    Wait, who won last week’s photo caption contest?

    1. avatar William Burke says:

      LOL. You mean he actually has to pick a WINNER from these?

    2. avatar Dan Zimmerman says:

      Can’t remember, but I posted the winner’s name in the comments there. As I will here on Monday.

  25. avatar Pascal says:

    Paul and George knew they would be riding through a gun free zone so they came prepared.

  26. avatar SpeleoFool says:

    A well regulated Bicylce, being necessary to the security of a free Outdoor Recreation Area, the right of the people to pedal and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

  27. avatar KCK says:

    Amazon quickly revamped their gun delivery system from earlier days, employing boxes for easier stackability

  28. avatar jwm says:

    Not one to pick nits here, but when did the week end start on Wednesday?

    1. avatar In Memphis says:

      Im still scratching my head on that one

    2. avatar William Burke says:

      Ever since sequestration. Whatever that is.

  29. avatar Stilicho says:

    With gasoline at record highs and having spent their entire savings on ammunition, Farrago and Leghorn are off to the range.

    1. avatar racer88 says:


    2. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      NICE! WIN!

  30. avatar doug degroff says:

    that’s a “pretty chitty bang bang”!!

  31. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    After Columbia hooker-gate, the Secret Service suffered it’s own sequester cuts…

  32. avatar kalel666 says:

    Billy, Billy, give me your answer true
    I love shooting, do you love it too
    Pistol or rifle or shotgun
    Throw lead, I’ll reload
    The bullets fly by as you and I
    Ride a killcycle built for two

    A killcycle built for two

  33. avatar Stilicho says:

    You don’t need that for hunting…

    1. avatar William Burke says:

      They’ll never understand why we laugh at that.

  34. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    The early production Schwinn PatrolMaster 6000 series still required some tuning, being too effective against pursuers and reatively ineffective against pursuees.

    1. avatar Bluesman007 says:

      Effective against fore and aft pursuers. Left and right, not so much!

  35. avatar Dann W says:

    I can’t think of anything funny to say but I’ve already zip tied my Mosin Nagent to my road bike. I can’t believe I never thought of this before!

  36. avatar Ben Eli says:

    The Tour de France got a little weird in 1940

    1. avatar schizuki says:

      I had a Tour de France joke chambered, just hoping nobody beat me to it. Then, two entries from the bottom… I mean, really, Ben, two damn entries from the bottom…

      1. avatar John says:


  37. avatar Don says:

    Failing to realize they’ve lost, even the drug warriors have gone crunchy.

  38. avatar Colt Magnum says:

    “Hello, I’m Agent Fast and this is Agent Furious. Does this road lead to Mexico?”

    1. avatar Ing says:


    2. avatar Accur81 says:

      Why yes, yes it does. Just make sure none of the guns fall into the wrong hands, because we have absolutely no intelligent plan whatsoever to track them, ‘mkay?

  39. avatar Don says:


  40. avatar Big Phil says:

    And on this day B.I.T.C.H.(Bicycle Intimidation Tandem Criminal Harassment) was born

  41. avatar barstoolguru says:

    Are you pedaling back there; you’re supposed to be pedaling. It sure doesn’t feel like it

  42. avatar Don says:

    These must be the evil NRA gun pedalers we’ve been hearing about.

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      Now there is your winner right there!

    2. avatar Ensitue says:


    3. avatar Ensitue says:

      “These Aren’t the Droids Your Looking For”

    4. avatar Accur81 says:

      Old and white?! They must be evil. Something must be done about the bicycles – for the children.

  43. avatar sagebrushracer says:

    Fienstein calls for a ban on Assault Bikes!

  44. avatar joe liberto says:

    the first ever urban assault vehicle thats 100% green

  45. avatar Brian says:

    …Soon afterwards, France surrendered.

  46. avatar ConnBuckeye says:

    While little appreciated today, what we now call “prepping” actually began in post World War I Britain where so-called “Prep Blokes” came to realize that both a supply of arms and a bugout vehicle would be needed in case of Zeppelin attacks from the dreaded Hun and the chaos that would surely follow.

  47. avatar whiskeytangofoxtrot says:

    Bob thought it prudent to hire a tailgunner for his Detroit paper route.

  48. avatar Ing says:

    Assaultcycle version 1.0.

  49. avatar racer88 says:

    Must be outlawed… It has a “kickstand thing that goes up.”

  50. avatar mediocrates says:

    at last, Remington has decided to flee the slave state of New York.

  51. avatar Mike in TX says:

    Pioneers of tacticool accessory development…

  52. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

    Introducing the SAFE Act compliant “Ultimate New York Reload”

  53. avatar J says:

    Knowing the Queen’s penchant for bicycles, the Royal Infantry created the now infamous Queenie Bicycle Battalion to great fanfare and ‘Queenies’ (as these modified bicycles were called) became very popular with the commoners post-WWII. However, after the roving ‘Queenie’ bicycle gang reign of terror on London’s streets in ’58, all bicycles must now be registered with the government, and riders must subject to a background check before receiving bicycle licenses.

  54. avatar zora says:

    Now 007, I was told that you needed to win a bike race to get close to your target, so if you would step outside for a moment. Here we have a two seater bike right? WRONG! it actually has an assortment of firearms that I duct taped to it myself. Um, Q how is this supposed to help me win a bike race? Well James would you pass the guy riding this. Good point Q, you’ve out done yourself, I’m guaranteed to win!

  55. avatar Bryan says:

    BREAKING NEWS – British Secret Service agents laughed off set of new Monty Python movie!
    Producers of the new Monty Python movie hire British Intelligence agents as security personnel.
    After numerous scandals, exhaustive coverups, and subsequent impeachment, Obama and Biden needing a job, were spotted in their best Hollywood makeup pulling guard duty on the set of a new Monty Python movie. When asked why all they could say was,”It’s for the children”!

  56. avatar Stilicho says:

    Just wait ’til Bonnie and Clyde see THIS!

  57. avatar Stilicho says:

    We’re from the government and we’re here to help!

  58. avatar Jeh says:

    The winners of the first annual gentlemans death race!

  59. avatar Roscoe says:

    We got ’em cornered, Mayor Mike!

  60. avatar AaronW says:

    Well, Germany’s post-WWI rearmament had to start somewhere, I guess…

  61. avatar LongBeach says:

    Seattle unveils first of many Peace Bicycles, public remains skeptical.

  62. avatar Roscoe says:

    We got ’em on the run, Mayor Mike!

  63. avatar JWhite says:

    “Next on Sons of Guns”
    – “Neh been dun-befoh”-

  64. avatar Stilicho says:

    VIPER (Visible Intermodal Protection and Response) squad from TSA (Testicle Squeezing Administration) regrets asking for expanded authority over all modes of transportation.

  65. avatar Bob Damon says:

    I thought YOU brought the ammo!

  66. avatar Bob Damon says:

    The real Chariots of Fire…

    1. avatar William Burke says:


  67. avatar Stilicho says:

    DHS unable to purchase additional MRAP vehicles due to sequester.

  68. avatar Stilicho says:

    Magpul’s new product development suffers after Colorado legalizes pot.

  69. avatar SGC says:

    They see me rollin’
    They hatin’
    And tryin. to catch me ridin. dirty.

  70. avatar In Memphis says:

    Before Marvin Heemeyer uparmored his bulldozer and before Shawn Nelson stole a tank, there was these guys.

  71. avatar Colt Magnum says:

    “Good thing, you gentlemen, aren’t carrying concealed. Otherwise, I’d have to arrest you. You’re good to go. Enjoy your stay!”

  72. avatar MrVigs says:

    Charlie and Frank decided that if this stunt couldn’t get Gay Marriage legislation passed in Minnesota then nothing could.

  73. avatar trane fan says:

    Tank?!?! We don’t need no stinkin tank!! Just point us towards Berlin and stand back!

  74. avatar DWF says:

    Well son this a picture from a time when the beach patrol actually meant something. Now its just life guards in silly red speedos but back then well just look at the picture.

  75. avatar Rodeo Jones says:

    Bike. Gun Bike.

  76. avatar Steve in MA says:

    Wait one second while I whip this out

  77. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    Sure the grabbers got our store, we’re selling on the road now though, Randy

  78. avatar Paul53 says:

    The beta version of “The Flying Fortress” left a lot to the imagination!

  79. avatar BLAMMO says:

    And don’t worry if you can’t sew, these things will iron on.

    What makes you think I’m more likely to own an iron than a needle and thread?

    1. avatar Megrim says:

      An iron what?

      1. avatar William Burke says:


  80. avatar StuckInCT says:

    While lightweight and maneuverable, the early versions of the ExerPedalBang were easily stolen and French legislation requiring firearms storage made acquiring an adequately large safe difficult. After it’s failure, the French military made the decision to invest in long poles with white flags. When asked why, the French Premier stated, “It’s for the children.”.

  81. avatar A-Rod says:

    “Leave the bike and guns. Take the cannoli.”

  82. avatar ColinP says:

    They banned high capacity magazines, so we bought a high capacity bicycle.

  83. avatar SubZ says:

    Illustration from Mein Kampf: The beginnings of the Wonder Weapons Program. This crew-served assault bicycle was said to be designed in a Munich beer hall on a paper napkin.

  84. avatar Eric says:

    Back when I was your age, we didn’t have no fancy car. We peddled our ass to the range, 20 miles thru 5 feet of snow, uphill, both ways

  85. avatar Renegade Dave says:

    “Hogue actually got it’s start not with pistol grips, but with steering wheel adapters for the centerfire bicycle.”

  86. avatar Davis Thompson says:

    A bicycle built for .223.

  87. avatar SkyMan77 says:

    The National Rifle Association’s steering committee has come a very long way since the 1940’s….

  88. avatar Eric says:

    For some reason the “Ride-by” never gained much popularity…

  89. avatar Megrim says:

    Sequester Hits ATF Patrols!
    BATF agents Werner Gatman and Leo Merde pedal toward the U.S.-Mexico border atop a Schwinn High Intensity Tactical Unit. While admitting they miss their scary black SUV, the duo said riding tandem never felt so safe. “I know Leo’s always got my back,” said Gatman.

  90. avatar MrVigs says:

    Well son, you see, when a mommy gun and a daddy gun fall in love… …& 9 months later these guys deliver brand new baby guns.

  91. avatar Eric says:

    Schwinn and Wesson produce the first 10 speed 10 shot.

  92. avatar JCW71 says:

    Frank: “Will people think this is weird for a bike?:
    Bob: “Probably..the steering wheel does look a bit out of place.”

  93. avatar John says:

    Daisy had better say yes to that bicycle ride for two…

  94. avatar John O. says:

    Chitty chitty bang bang!

  95. avatar carl says:

    there was an episode from king of the hill about his

    Bobby: “Can I put a gun rack on my bike?”

    Hank “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that?”

  96. avatar إبليس says:

    Lance Armstrong’s two dads.

  97. avatar Pat says:

    Aggressively protesting the helmet law.

    1. avatar SkyMan77 says:

      I like it… Can’t wait to get back to AZ… I’ll still wear one (most of the time) but by choice not Overlord…

  98. avatar Big Al says:

    If Biden had his way this is what our military assault vehicles would look like.

  99. avatar RKflorida says:

    Hey Nigel, what does this wheel in your behind do?

  100. avatar RAN58 says:

    “When do I get to steer Robert? Shut up, Foghorn just keep smiling and peddling.”

  101. avatar chuck says:

    Polands first tank…it was a miserable failure.

  102. avatar ShawnK says:

    Powered by 200 poof pure grain alcohol.

  103. avatar Big_cowboy74 says:

    I think Remington waited too long to get out of NY. At least they got to keep a few.

  104. avatar Paul53 says:

    The world as seen through the eyes of the anti gun minority.

  105. avatar Paul53 says:

    All this, plus you can “Mexican” carry! We’ll see if The TSA is really on the ball!

  106. avatar KCK says:

    Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do
    I’m half crazy, but none of them are BB guns

  107. avatar Paul53 says:

    With the recent budget cuts, The Army had to rethink the concept of the “Light Armored Vehicle.”

  108. avatar rcvasquez says:

    I don’t carry my guns, my guns carry me.

  109. avatar Paul53 says:

    Maynard and Felix felt cheated when The Army chose the Willys Jeep over their concept of the “General Purpose Vehicle.”

  110. avatar Jason says:

    The last two holdouts before the Brits disarmed the populace. At least they went out in style.

  111. avatar Gutseo says:

    For the love of all that is holy PLEASE avoid the bumpy roads!

  112. avatar Joey Miller says:

    Sometimes a styrofoam helmet just isn’t enough to keep you safe when biking to work.

  113. avatar Sam Enderby says:

    See, bicycle messengers weren’t always a bunch of hipster sissies.

  114. avatar Leo says:

    With price of gas going up drive-by shootings were no longer affordable 🙂

  115. avatar ready,aim,fire says:

    Back when “Made In America” meant something

  116. avatar Labman says:

    We need more speed Nigel, fire the Enfield!

  117. avatar Paul53 says:

    After the success of their airplane, the Wright brothers return to their true passion, the bike shop in Dayton, hoping to capitalize on their reputation.

  118. avatar Mike the Hops Farmer says:

    DHS’ first attempt at building an MRAP forced them instead to purchase army surplus.

  119. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    Virgil and his domestic partner Harry were very tired of being harassed by the weightlifters at muscle beach.

  120. avatar Randy Taylor says:

    Elvis graciously allows Heinrich to try driving his personal “Mississippi Battle Tank” while on holiday

  121. avatar DonS says:

    Hey Wilbur! Wouldn’t this be way cooler if it could fly?

  122. avatar Mark says:

    Frank and Tony learn in 1929 that a new business requires more startup capitol than they anticipated.

  123. avatar Cookie says:

    After an EMP, mobile firepower is still needed!

  124. avatar JAS says:

    Dan and Robert cross the finish line in the unlimited class bicycle race held this Friday a solid 1/2 mile ahead of the peloton . Other riders erred on the side of caution all mentioning something about “in the cross-hairs”.

  125. avatar Jed says:

    My other bike is a Sig.

  126. avatar Epunthesis says:

    “Another successful straw purchase from Mike Detty.”

  127. avatar IdahoPete says:

    “The militant SHARE THE ROAD cyclist movement decides to go hard core.”

  128. avatar Liberty2Alpha says:

    The little known USS Detroit.

  129. avatar O.E says:

    “There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I’ll spare your lives. Just walk away and we’ll give you a safe passageway in the wastelands. Just walk away and there will be an end to the horror.”

  130. avatar Paul53 says:

    Gary Busy and friend decide to make a home video and surprise Diane Feinstein. Hilarity ensues.

  131. OK, I’m a little late to the party here. Time sort of got away from me. It was that kind of weekend.

    But we do have a winner. It was kalel666 with his cover of ‘A Bicyle Built for Two’:

    Billy, Billy, give me your answer true
    I love shooting, do you love it too?
    Pistol or rifle or shotgun,
    Throw lead, I’ll reload.
    The bullets fly by, as you and I
    Ride a killcycle built for two.
    A killcycle built for two.

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