Weekend Photo Caption Contest

Screen Shot 2015-07-30 at 1.18.03 PM

[h/t Mikke S.]



  1. avatar Rick the Bear says:

    “Break out some ID!”

    “Hoo me?”

  2. avatar Edward says:


    1. avatar Phil LA says:

      Ha! Winner!

    2. avatar Former Water Walker says:

      Winner!-you took my bit…

    3. avatar WhatAboutBob says:


    4. avatar CTsheepdog says:

      Second, to my own:

      “Take me to your leader”

  3. avatar JWM says:

    “You sh*t thru feathers, too?”

  4. avatar JWM says:

    “Mouse hunting license? Dept. of Fish & Game? You’re talking greek to me sister.”

    1. avatar jarhead says:

      Good one.

  5. avatar M J Johnson says:

    “Are you my mother?”

  6. avatar Teddy says:

    Atleast I’m not a dog…

  7. avatar Mason says:

    hands up, don’t hoot

    1. avatar beerwhisperer says:


  8. avatar Gbo says:

    Wings up, don’t shoot! Oh, wait… Damnit!!!

  9. avatar SkyMan77 says:

    Hootie at the sobriety checkpoint… Looks like those pupils are pretty dilated Hootie!!!

    1. avatar AaronW says:

      If that’s Hootie, where’s the Blowfish?

  10. avatar vioshi says:

    I don’t think it’s a gremlin… But let’s tase it just in case.

  11. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    what do you mean “show you my hands” i’m a damn owl…

  12. avatar JackieO says:

    You’re probably wondering why I pulled you over!?!

  13. avatar DrVino says:

    What crime do suspect me of committing?
    Am I free to go?

  14. avatar Emfourty Gasmask says:

    The owl version of Tiananmen Square

  15. avatar DickDanger says:

    “Staring contest!”

  16. avatar Colt Magnum says:

    Who’s on first?

  17. avatar ANdrew Lias says:

    “We’re looking for a furby with your description.”

    “o rlly?”

  18. avatar AaronW says:

    “Look, we can do this here, or at the station… how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?”

    1. avatar BPCoop19 says:

      ^This wins.

      1. avatar dlj95118 says:

        …ditto that!

        1. avatar Chris75 says:

          If this one doesn’t win I’ll sell all my guns. Well the ones that weren’t lost in the boating accident I mean.

  19. avatar vioshi says:

    Officer: Who are you?
    Owl: Hoo
    Officer: ITS A FURRBIE, TASE IT!

    1. avatar Broken 3ight says:

      Nuke it from orbit. Only way to be sure.

  20. avatar pcman312 says:

    “Am I being detained?”

    1. avatar barnbwt says:

      Damnit! Someone photoshop a slung AR on the owl, stat!

  21. avatar Mk10108 says:

    Screw You

  22. avatar Coffee Addict says:

    “.. heel to toe please.”

  23. avatar Michael says:

    Police: you are not under arrest, but you are not free to go.
    Owl: did you hear what you just said?

  24. avatar DoomGuy says:

    “What you talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”

  25. avatar Chicago Steve says:

    Ranger Rick, with respect I am under no obligation to present my owl ID

  26. avatar Mchad says:

    Yes, I am carrying concealed (for those of us in a duty to inform state)

  27. avatar RockThisTown says:

    We’re looking for a few good hooters.

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      It’s “Hoochers”

  28. avatar Paul53 says:

    One false move earthling and you’ll be yanking feathers out of your hide for a month!

  29. avatar Paul53 says:

    Who you gonna call? Owl busters!

  30. avatar RockThisTown says:

    “No, right now, I am not above the law . . . but I can be.”

  31. avatar Gunr says:

    One more wisecrack, and I’m gonna grab your shoelaces!

  32. avatar Robert says:


  33. avatar fiun dagner says:

    Off-duty officer checking out the local hooters

  34. avatar Jody says:

    OK, The straight line was not too bad,…
    Now close your eyes, stick out your tongue and touch your nose.

  35. avatar Steve says:

    “Well, I don’t think it’s a dog, but… ah, hell, just shoot it anyway”

  36. avatar Franko says:

    Hands up. Don’t shoot!

  37. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    Shannon’s pet owl, Utopia, snitching on the new neighbors

  38. avatar Joe R. says:

    What? Hogwarts? Knew CLEAT was a waste.

    1. avatar Joe R. says:

      I would like to buy a different vowel, phone a friend and get rid of Siri. What happened to TTAG edit?

  39. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    Bubo, its me Perseus. That time machine was a rough ride. What year is it?

  40. avatar tom12121112 says:

    Injured bird? Call in the MRAP!

  41. avatar jsallison says:

    You getting out of my way or do I peck your eyeballs out?

  42. avatar Mark Lloyd says:


  43. avatar Kapeltam says:

    “Do you know why I stopped you?”
    “One more time and I’m hauling you in, wise cracker!”

  44. avatar JWM says:

    “Jaywalking! Are you sh*tting me, Barney. Don’t you have any real crime in this burg?”

  45. avatar mike oregon says:

    Did you rob the Hooters?
    You, did you rob hooters?

  46. avatar NikcaP says:

    Officer: I’m from the government… I’m here to help.

    Owl: Oh sh*t…

  47. avatar David says:

    This is the King’s highway, and I’d advise you to make way!

  48. avatar Gregolas says:

    Owl: “NOBODY gets in to see the Great and Powerful Oz !
    No time! No how!”

  49. avatar Dave says:

    Oh, wook! A Piddie
    This wittle piddy went to market.

  50. avatar Smoke Jensen says:

    Whata ya mean no fly zone!

    1. avatar Indiana Tom says:

      This is Washington DC, the most restricted air space in the world.

  51. avatar Regulus says:

    Wouldn’t be surprised if she shot it

  52. avatar Hobs98 says:

    “Don’t task me, bro”

    1. avatar CTsheepdog says:

      ^^^ Another auto-correct fail?

  53. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    Truly, you want my DNA, I did not poop on your head and I don’t have fingerprints.

  54. avatar B says:

    “What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little *****? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ******. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable *** off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you ******* idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re ******** dead, kiddo.”

    1. avatar CTsheepdog says:

      “guerrilla”, just sayin’.

  55. avatar Dustin says:

    “There will be a day of reckoning for you non-believer! A totaling of sums! A snapping of necks! And you will count yourself among the damned!!”

  56. avatar Shanaynay Garthbrooks says:

    *Gulp* “What bag of endangered Colorado Mountain Vole Crispy Snacks? Those were pot cookies Ma’am, I swear!”

  57. avatar B Fitts says:

    We’re owl exterminators.
    Yeah owwwlll exterminators…

  58. avatar Matt says:

    No, you can’t come on the Bundy ranch! Go away, BLM!!!

  59. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    Youuuuu……talkin’ ta me?

  60. avatar Charles says:

    So officer, am I being detained?

  61. avatar dh34 says:

    Look lady, I came here to chew mouse bones and kick ass…and I’m all out of mouse bones…

    RIP Roddy Piper

  62. avatar dh34 says:

    I’m going to ask you one more time…

    Hoo are you? Hoo? Hoo?

  63. avatar tmm says:

    Hey, boy, come over here. Let’s have a look at you.
    This is a boy?

  64. avatar Bigred2989 says:

    Hoo is your daddy and what does he do?

  65. avatar Nuclearpenguin says:

    Of the many problems that have cropped-up with the use of owls as law enforcement body-cams, the most problematic is the interruption of the hourly “potty break”.

  66. avatar James69 says:

    Tonight on “When Animals Attack”

  67. avatar Paul53 says:

    It’s a trap!

  68. avatar bontai Joe says:

    “Owl? What do you mean owl? I’m a chicken hawk, see! And you’re a chicken, see? And I’m gonna EAT YOU!”

  69. avatar Smoke Jensen says:

    LEO:Obama has declared the rat a protected species.
    Owl: But I don’t eat politicians.

  70. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    Better watch it flat foot, I know Harry Potter!

  71. avatar Jeff says:

    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will be held against you in a court of law.

  72. avatar KissMyWookiee says:

    Hoo-hoo-Who watches the Watchmen?

  73. avatar Chris T from KY says:

    Who are you to tell me who or what I can eat?

  74. avatar Nelson says:

    ‘WTF’s a badge, primate in Halloween CosPlay costume??’


  75. avatar CoolHand says:


  76. avatar DaveL says:


  77. avatar Socrates says:

    Poooker face,
    Pooker face
    Poker face
    How can I help you mam?

  78. avatar Socrates says:

    Ok mom I’ll distract her while you raid her car. Just don’t forget to poop her on your way out so that I can fly away.

  79. avatar Lucas D. says:

    “Sir, we have word that you’re an acquaintance of the suspected hunny thief. Can you give us any information on his whereabouts?”


    “Short guy, yellow, red t-shirt and no pants, goes by the street name ‘Pooh’.”


  80. avatar CoolBreeze says:

    Acutely aware of the LEO reputation for shooting animal life, the owl immediately duped him into a staring contest knowing LEO would tire easily.

  81. avatar JWM says:

    Another example of Walking While Feathered.

  82. avatar JWM says:

    3 blind mice? Missing?

  83. avatar anon says:


  84. avatar DJ says:

    The suspect did not comply with verbal commands, so I was forced to deploy my Taser…

  85. avatar djb says:

    “I thought I was a goner until this bald guy with a fist of arrows swooped in.”

  86. avatar RockThisTown says:

    “You gotta ask yourself one question, punk . . . . do ya feel plucky?”

  87. avatar BDub says:

    Feathered Lives Matter!!!!

  88. avatar Ad Astra says:

    “I don’t know what they taught you at the academy officer but this is my home, I don’t need any damn permit to carry this beak and talons.”

  89. avatar JSF001 says:

    I woke up in a Soho doorway
    The policeman knew my name
    He said, “You can go sleep at home tonight
    If you can get up and walk away”
    I staggered back to the underground
    The breeze blew back my hair
    I remembered throwing punches around
    And preachin’ from my chair

    Who are you
    Who who who who
    Who are you
    Who who who who

  90. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    “Who the hell are you to ask me how many licks it takes….”

  91. avatar Hank Locker says:

    I will light you up!

  92. avatar Chris75 says:

    Ma’am, I need to report a missing boy. He’s average height and build with a lightning shaped birthmark on his forehead.

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