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A Fudd is a gun owner who supports gun control, named after Looney Tunes’ hapless hunter Elmer Fudd. When a Fudd takes to the media to promote “sensible gun safety legislation,” he or she must first submit their firearms credentials. Like this: “I was raised around guns. I didn’t know until I was a teen that you could hunt rabbits during the daytime. It was years later when I discovered that jack-lighting marsh rabbits was frowned upon in a civilized society and by the former Game and Freshwater Fish Commission.” Oooh! A law breaking Fudd! Who does go on a bit . . .

I keep a revolver in my night stand and a carry pistol close by (and the license to use it). I own two center-fire rifles and two rimfire .22’s. One would be considered a baby assault rifle, depleting a 30-round clip in about the time it takes to chug a beer competition-style.

Being a scattergun aficionado, I have 13 shotguns, none semi-automatic and most what would be considered antique-ish — Winchester Model 12s and 42s — none manufactured after 1945. They are a joy to shoot. And, while being 65-plus-year-old pump guns, most “assault weapon” opponents don’t know that the old Model 12s can “slam-fire” five shells as fast as an automatic.

I’ve given money to the NRA from time to time and have the free emblazoned tote bags to prove it.

True to Fudd form,‘s Jim Sutton calls ammunition magazines “clips.” He doesn’t own any of them newfangled semi-automatic shotguns  or “military-style” assault rifles or “assault shotguns” (a term only occasionally found in anti-gun agitprop, but you know what I mean).

Apparently, Stutton is licensed to use that bedside revolver (00 rating unspecified). Best of all, the Florida native is a member of the NRA! Well a tote-bag toting contributor, anyway. Remember: The Brady Campaign et al. are attempting to convince themselves and voters that there are “common sense” equipped gun owners – even within the terrorist organization (their words not mine) known as the NRA.

Taken as a whole, Jim’s a throughly modern antiquated Fudd. He fits right into the gun control advocates’ playbook. Especially when he goes full Fudd.

I parted ways with the NRA for a while when it pushed the legalization of body armor-piercing bullets for Joe Citizen. Never mind that their street names were “cop killers” and there’s no animal out in our woods with Kevlar hide.

Hang on a gol durn minute there, Elmer! The NRA didn’t push for the legalization of armor-piercing bullets. They pushed for hollow-point handgun ammunition not to be made illegal (as they are in New Jersey). Hollow points are more effective at stopping a threat and reducing over-penetration problems (i.e. shooting a bad guy and a good guy). That’s why police use them.

I wonder if Sutton is aware that most rifle rounds are “armor piercing.” Hey Jim! What caliber are those two center-fire rifles of yours anyway? *crickets* OK, then, back to the anti-gun Gallactica . . .

Last year you may remember that [Florida] legislators sought to allow students at state colleges and universities to carry handguns.

The thought was that when that crazy-militiaman-mass-shooter showed up, the students could kill him before he did too much damage.

There are more than a few problems with that. The first is that most thinking people would see the danger signs of drunken frat parties with kids carrying .38 Specials in their togas.

But the real problem is two-fold. First and foremost, is if you’re not ready and willing to use a handgun against an assailant — immediately and without any indecision — the better odds are you’ll be killed by the other guy.

Often the seconds of indecision result in having your gun taken from you — and used on you. Cops have trouble fixing that finite time between decision and death, either the other guy’s or their own. And they’ve been drilled on that point to a fault.

Secondly, how many times have you heard of police shootouts with an armed assailant in which 25 or 30 rounds were fired within seconds, with perhaps one slug putting the bad guy down.

Shooting in real-life, real-time, real-consequence situations is anything but exact. And again, cops train at the range — a lot.

Yup. It’s ye olde alcohol-fueled, toga-clad, Animal House-inspired frat members packing .38 specials argument against allowing adult Americans the right to keep and bear arms. [Note to Jim: I love my .38 Smith & Wesson 642 revolver, but most kids, I mean, 21-year-olds, are partial to the new compact 9mm semis. Just sayin’.]

As for Jimbo’s contention that a good guy with a gun is too slow off the draw to do any good, horse manure. Also, so what? Is it better to die unarmed than to have a fighting chance to save your own life and the lives of other innocents around you?

But the best bit is Sutton’s admission that super-de-dooperly trained cops – who go the range “a lot” [not] – can’t shoot for sh-t, therefore inexperienced “kids” can’t defend themselves with a gun either. (I guess the .38 Special ain’t that special after all.) And this bit of Jim’s argument is in a class of its own, somewhere between complete ignorance and straight up stupid.

But there’s another twist to the new bill. It would also allow open carry in public places. Even Old West sheriffs took the guns away from cowpokes when they came riding into town after a dusty week on the trail.

But do we want to have residents walking St. George Street with a toddler on one hip and a pistol on the other?

I guess the idea is that it’s better for law enforcement to know exactly who has a gun, rather than having handguns concealed from them.

But I wonder how our sheriff’s deputies or city police would feel pulling an overtime security detail at a Francis Field event with a dozen armed revelers hitting the Bud Light tap and wolfing down funnel cakes.

Again with the alcohol. Maybe Jim has a particular fondness for drink? That’s a guess. As is his belief that open carry leads to blood running in the streets. Perhaps the columnist could warm up his steam-driven computer, hit Google and investigate the impact of open carry on public safety in those states where it’s already the rule of law (e.g., Arizona). Bueller?

OK then. Let me close with this last correction, then. Sheriff’s deputies will feel great at a Francis Field event with open carry. They’ll be making a ton of money AND it adds to their pensionable hours. What’s not to love? Over to you Elmer.


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  1. I guess that I have to give the anti-rights people [a tiny bit of] credit. They don’t stray very far from their “points”.

    The problem for us, as I see it, is that we can’t prove a negative for the rest of time. Someone COULD go off the rails at a party sometime. And for these guys, it offsets however much time has passed without an incident, which makes us pro-rights people wrooonnnnnggggg!

    All the improvements in CCing without innocents’ bloodshed in all the states that have made said improvements don’t mean diddly to this guy and his ilk.

    Oy vey!

    • “I guess that I have to give the anti-rights people [a tiny bit of] credit. They don’t stray very far from their ‘points'”.

      Yeah, well, a dung beatle never misses a day of work, either.

      • Comparing anti-gunners to dung beetles is out of line, mister. Dung beetles actually serve a purpose.

    • “Someone COULD go off the rails at a party sometime.”

      I seem to recall an article on this very sire not much more than a week ago about a frat party that got shot up – by a guy they ejected who went to his car, got a gun, and came back to shoot at the unarmed revelers.

      This is not the first such incident I have heard of, nor is it limited to frat parties or even colleges/universities. How the hell can anyone justify forcing the partiers to be unarmed when a disgruntled drunk tossed out can come back at any time to seek savage revenge?

  2. “I’m a gun owner and avid hunter, but…”, the way many Texas Dem lawmakers start their anti-open carry, anti-campus carry, or need for “common-sense” gun control laws diatribe.

  3. I have difficulty differentiating a FUDD from arguments/statements one may see from places like The Trace. It’s like a fake compassionate twist and an injection of PC layered on gun control.

  4. RF, your copy editor is asleep at the switch. The author’s name is Sutton, not Simmons. And more importantly, Galactica has only one L.

    Yes, I used to be a copy editor.

  5. Every time I read one of these anti campus carry pieces and the way they describe college life I can only ascertain that the writers have never actually enrolled in college.

  6. Jim isn’t real – this whole article reads like its being ghost-written in an attempt to capture what they think is a rustic mid-western panache, and failing miserably, by coming off instead as a cartoonish stereotyped skit character. You can close you eyes and practically see an SNL cast-member reading it out loud.

  7. Jim is an out-and-out liar, he has no concept of that which he pretends to speak of, is simply writing fiction, making up BS as he goes along.

  8. “The thought was that when that crazy-militiaman-mass-shooter showed up…”

    This guy is still living in 1993. Or he’s been spending too much time listening to the Democratic party organ known as “the news,” which also is still living in 1993. Even in the ’90s when militias were the big bad boogieman, militiaman-mass-shooters were never a thing. (Registered-Progressive-Democrat spree killers, on the other hand…)

  9. This is my position viz Fudds, who by and large are hunters.

    Nobody needs to hunt. It is unnecessarily cruel and painful to wild animals. I’m no vegan, I eat meat. I buy it at the store. Yes, I know where it comes from. It comes from animals that are raised for food, not animals in the wild, and the food animals are killed as humanely as possible.

    Bolt action and single shot rifles and shotguns, and many other non-semiautomatic weapons, have only one purpose — to kill wild animals. I’m for confiscating all of them. If you want to shoot something, get a good AR or other semiautomic rifle and shoot paper and steel targets like me. Stop killing animals for sport.

    In reality, I’m pro-hunting, but I think it’s time for the Fudds to get a taste of their own medicine. So how do you like them apples, you stupid Fudds?


    Seriously though. They’re treated like a firearm is all. I have 800 of them in my closet right now and they’re totally legal. It’s hard to explain because NJ’s firearms laws are written as follows:

    (1) All guns are illegal except when
    (i) You’re a LEO or military
    (ii) you are in your own home or dwelling
    (iii) etc…

    It’s literally a list of exemptions for when a gun isn’t illegal. You are actually guilty until proven innocent in a court of law when it comes to firearms in NJ. You have to prove to the judge that you fit into one of those narrow exemptions. And hollow points is just a tricky exemption because reasons. But if you’re in your own home, or to or on the way from either a gun range, gun store or home, then you’re fine (you can’t stop anywhere while transporting a handgun or hollow points in NJ, it’s a felony with a 3.5 year mandatory minimum. Yes people have gone to jail for stopping to get gas). However you’ll probably be arrested if you’re caught because the cops don’t know the law either. So after spending a few grand on a lawyer and maybe 30 days in jail, you’ll be able to prove to the judge that you’re in one of the exemptions. Anytime i go to the gun range, i risk being arrested and forced to pay thousands in legal fees to prove my innocence.

  11. I stopped reading halfway through. That was just too much stupid and straw-man to handle in one sitting.

  12. The only thing worse than going the full retard is going the full Fudd And he went the full Fudd. Must have been one of the deleted scenes in Tropic Thunder.

  13. I work with a guy like this, and he’s not that much older than I am(i’m 35). He grew up hunting and just can’t see why anyone would need a 30 round magazine(“If you can’t hit your target after 7 rounds, you need to head back to the practice range”). He doesn’t understand how expensive guns have gotten in the last few years, either. Or why someone would use an AR to go hunting(yet he just bought a Rock River AR in .204Ruger to hunt)
    He thinks suppressors are only used by poachers for hunting where they’re legal for hunting. He doesn’t know why people are only training with a pistol out to about 10~15 yards instead of the atleast 40 or 50 he shoots out to.

    I’ve told him not everyone is like him, and that the short distance is for defensive gun training. That if he thinks only 7 bullets will be enough if more than 1 person breaks into the house, he’s crazy. That 30 rounds is normal for a lot modern rifles sold today and how limits are arbitrary at best.
    He just doesn’t understand that his way of thinking is going out of style AND a detriment to our gun rights.

  14. GOOD GRIEF. If i had a nickel for every time I’ve read one of these Fudds who says they’ve broken with the NRA because the NRA has gotten too radical, being against “assault weapons bans,” “high capacity clip bans,” being against such “sensible” regulation as the ATF recently tried to outlaw “armor-piercing ammunition that could kill police,” etc…blah blah blah.

    And of course here, the use of the word clip, acting as if gun rights are only about hunting, etc…

  15. Correction is only worth it on the correctable. This is indelible poopstain, the supporting rag is a skidder, and the supporting advertisers and any subscribing clientele are solid POS.

    This f-er is only partially as bad as those who keep his a_ _ in business. F all of you. Hope it comes down to civil war before you wake up.

  16. “Being a scattergun aficionado, I have 13 shotguns, none semi-automatic and most what would be considered antique-ish — Winchester Model 12s and 42s — none manufactured after 1945.”

    So I guess my 100 year old Browning/FNH Auto5 is one of them new-fangled assault shotguns he’s wetting his panties over. Interesting.

  17. Well the First Amendment allows people to spout their ignorance freely, thanks goodness for them the Second protects the First.

  18. Someone needs to tell Mr. Sutton that a “slam-fire” is not a feature of his shotgun but a malfunction and if not aimed purposefully at a target, a negligent discharge.

    • I’ll do you one better, if he is slam-firing he is shooting multiple shells with one trigger pull (pumping the shell in while keeping the trigger depressed to fire the next round, I have heard about this but never done it with an old shotgun)… and it seems based on the quote he is doing so on purpose… ATF? ATF? you there?

  19. most “assault weapon” opponents don’t know that the old Model 12s can “slam-fire” five shells as fast as an automatic.
    The Model 12 has a magazine capacity of 6 shells.

  20. I own two center-fire rifles and two rimfire .22’s. One would be considered a baby assault rifle, depleting a 30-round clip in about the time it takes to chug a beer competition-style.

    I’ve never chugged a beer, “competition-style” or otherwise. Why do I get the sense that the Fudd here is, as per normal, projecting his own proclivities?

  21. I call the 12 I have a “combat shotgun” because its both correct and sticks it to everyone on both sides who like to be all pedantic-y.

  22. Well, I don’t know exactly what the law says where he lives, but here in OK the civilian populace is not allow to carry where alcohol is being served or at sporting events, because often they are one in the same. As for gun totin’ toga wearin’ beer drinkin’ college kids, I don’t see that happening. It’s not been a problem where it is currently allowed. Just my 2 cents.

  23. Joe does not exist. Rather, “he” is an amalgam of stereotypes and misinformation cobbled together by an anti on a MacBook in a dimly lit room and proofread by one or two fellow antis, and submitted to some hapless editor. Joe is not real, and “his” story never actually occurred.

  24. “I support gun rights, but…”

    -Fudd Americans, 2015

    “I support Jews’ rights , but…”

    -Fudd Germans, 1936

  25. BS, RF. This guy is no hunter, nor a FUDD- he is a faux gun guy offered up by the Left.

    He can’t even get his terminology right, and bragging about being a poacher is tEXACTLY he opposite of what old-school hunters who are members of the NRA are about, or have ever been about.

    You have been trolled, RF, as has the St Augustine Times, and I am giving them the benefit of the doubt they are not in on the baloney, given th2 90% self-identified Dem voter registration of journolists. I’m not even interested in going to St Augustine Times if they let this bit of horse-puckey get thru their filter, because they are not about the news, either way.

    I predicted a year ago we would see a growing wave of more FUD and agitprop spread in the MSM by OFAtards getting clicks for pay, and second rate wannabe journolistas making $hit up to “trade it up the chain”, ala PuffHo’s own Ryan Halliday.

    Disinformatzia is all the Left has left, since they are getting their facts wrong and jammed down their throat, by reality. They have no place else to go but double down to the sewer, and the desperation is thick.

    Lets not get in their way, when these useful idiots are bringing their own rope to their own necktie party.
    The Pew polls show trust in the MSM is going down, as are Nielson ratings, advertiser $ and subscriptions.

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