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Virginia might be for lovers, but a Carroll County Virginia woman apparently didn’t get the memo. In a story that started off like a bad Penthouse Forum letter, an unclothed woman allegedly walked into a man’s home Austinville, Virginia last week.

That probably sounded interesting for the homeowner, but police say the naked Paula Michelle Locklear, 35, then picked up a cast iron frying pan and started beating the male homeowner about the head with it.

Paula Locklear. Image via Carroll County Sheriff’s Office.

The homeowner managed to push the crazed woman – still wielding the frying pan – out the back door and locked it. Meanwhile, Mr. Homeowner said the woman screamed at him to get out of her house and she threatened to kill him.

Still naked and still very angry, and now on the residence’s back porch, Ms. Locklear proceeded to turn off the circuit breakers to the home. From there, she began smashing a kitchen window while continuing to threaten the resident. He grabbed a gun and when she tried to beat down the door, he shot her through the door, striking her once in the lower leg.

Carroll County Sheriff’s Office reported it as such on Facebook . . .

Sheriff’s Office Communications received a report of a shooting that occurred at 2655 Loafers Rest Road, in the Austinsville section of Carroll County.

Deputies arrived on the scene and found a female with a gunshot wound to the leg. EMS personnel arrived on scene and transported the female.

During the course of the investigation, deputies determined that the shooting was the result of a breaking and entering.

The homeowner, who heard a noise at the rear area of the home, went to the kitchen and observed an unclothed female, who was unknown to the homeowner, coming into the rear door at which time began hitting the homeowner with a cast iron fry pan in the head and hand before getting her out of the house and securing the door.

The female at this time was on the back porch of the home, and began turning all the electrical breakers off to the home and started beating on the kitchen window while yelling at the homeowner to get out of her house or she was going to kill him. The female then began beating on the same door in which she had already made entry previously, at which time the homeowner discharged his firearm, striking the female in the lower leg area.

The female was identified as Paula Michelle Locklear, 35, of Austinsville. Locklear, who was later treated and released, was charged with Felony Breaking and Entering an occupied home while armed with a deadly weapon, Assault and Battery, and Damage Property. Locklear was held without bond pending arraignment in Carroll County General District Court.

No charges will be filed on the homeowner, after consulting with the Carroll County Commonwealth Attorney Roger Brooks, the shooting was justified as self-defense.

For more (safe for work) pictures of Ms. Locklear, you can find them here.

Moral of the story…lock your doors. You may have spent most of your teenage years dreaming of a naked woman waltzing in your back door, but as the Virginia man just discovered, she may not be of sound mind when she does. And she might try to brain you with a skillet. Or worse.

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  1. Im quite upset that my new house has a breaker box that cant be locked for exactly this type of scenario.

    Okay maybe not this EXACT scenario but you get my point.

    • “Im quite upset that my new house has a breaker box that cant be locked for exactly this type of scenario.”

      Those boxes are still out there, and you’re an engineer, V, so do a retrofit.

      (Good to hear things are going better for you now than a few years back, BTW… 🙂 )

  2. The truly sad part of this entire saga is it will be months or even years before he gets his gun and cast iron pan back. Guns I got plenty of, cast iron pans – Not so much.

    • For some Democrats, the obvious response will be to propose safe storage laws for cast iron cookware to keep it out of the hands of dangerous people.

      • Marsupials laugh?

        Do the wonders ever cease?

        Is it like a strangled cackle sound? 🙂

        • “Chokin’ the possum does have a ring to it.”

          So would “Pounding the Possum”… 🙂

    • A wise man said “never stick it in crazy, it won’t end well!”

      • And it’s a fool who stupidly thinks he can handle the crazy… 🙁

    • Gman,

      I am thinking that a more thrilling strategy would have been to promptly separate her from that frying pan and then proceed to restrain (hold) her until police arrived to haul her away. That almost assuredly would have involved some interesting techniques to keep her restrained. As another commenter stated, a non-trivial number of men would have paid money to grapple with a writhing naked woman!

      There is another possible angle to this story as well: that woman may have gone to that man for $ex and, when he refused to engage her, picked up the frying pan to express her displeasure.

    • Truth is there’s a little Florida Man in all of us. That’s why the stories resonate so well.

      • No matter the looks, they used to be someone else’s crazy. And will be yours. I don’t mind a little attitude, but the attitude is “I am not a victim” not “I am everybody’s victim”

        These methies, lefties, blue hair nose rings, are victims if the wind blows.

    • “No need for a strip search:)”

      That’s half the fun, when you take it slow… 🙂

  3. Too bad she didn’t visit my house because I may speak softly but I carry a big stick.

  4. On a story like this I’d like to hear both sides.
    We’ve heard his.
    And if you check out some of her other pictures that’s a nice looking race car she is standing next too.
    “Get out of my house.” ?
    Two sides to every story.
    How about this one.
    Woman thrown from her house naked trys to gain re entry and her cohabitator shutes her.

      • I hear they say the same thing about Lindsey Graham, but he’s mostly a lady anyway.

  5. Hmm. So a crazed person shows up to a person’s residence and attempts entry, then becomes belligerent when forced back outside and told to leave the property. The trespasser then retaliates by turning off the house’s power and so forth…

    I refer back to my explanation earlier this week under a previous article, in which I stated that Los Angeles (thru both the LAPD and D.A. Gascon) have openly stated they no longer consider trespassing and public drunkenness to be offenses they’ll respond to or prosecute.

    Expect more incidents of “naked crazy”.

    • Haz, invest in a home water cannon system.

      I.E., Install an inground water sprinkler with some nozzles aimed up at your porch.

      After all, you were just watering the lawn, and your porch.

      A guy I worked for 30 years back did effectively that, his business was near skid row. His business had a fire sprinkler system that needed monthly flushing, so he had them install the flush nozzle out back where the drunks liked to congregate…

      • As tongue-in-cheek as that might sound at first read, it actually could be a good idea. After all, I *do* have a constant raccoon problem that could be an excuse for me to set up something interesting…

        • Plausible deniability is always good.

          (That story was the straight-up truth, BTW…)

  6. Cast iron skillet homicides are yesterday. Seen a couple. Last was over a card game. Unless it’s a slow news night, doesn’t get a mention.

  7. Damn my little piece of Summertime Heaven is in the Southwestern part of Carroll County, Austinville is actually in Wythe County about 4/5 miles north of the Carroll County line, long walk in rough country for a naked woman, must be one tough meth head… Need more info…

  8. I would have shot the skillet when she was still in the house.. lol
    Maybe he should have laid out bread, lettuce, mayo, ham and her natural instincts would have taken over??

  9. Last time a naked woman had a cast iron pan in my house she learned the hard way to not fry bacon naked. Grease spatter on a sensitive portion of her upper anatomy.
    Hard to believe a woman would be dumb enough to think doing so was a good idea.
    Hard to believe a woman would be drunk/high/stoned enough to walk around naked and attack someone with an iron skillet.

    • Similar thing happened to my first wife.

      She had a set of hot grease catchers on her that did their job well.

      Life is too short to marry flat chested women.

      • They make round window screen covers for frying pans, as a bonus, it lets less grease to escape to eventually cover the walls…

    • somebody forgot to tell tommy lee about frying bacon naked…then again, he had a HARD time even getting close to the stove….

    • Moral of the story…always carry even if you are at home, and carry a spare magazine….

      and some bacon just in case she actually wants to cook.

  10. OK I have a couple comments.

    1) Some guys would pay good money for that kind of treatment. Just sayin’.

    2) It sounds like he more or less followed the advice of Noted Gun Expert Joe Biden (TM) and yet somehow didn’t get charged with a felony. Which seems to me more of a comment on the weirdness of this particular situation, than it is an endorsement of the Biden Home Defense Doctrine (TM).

    • “1) Some guys would pay good money for that kind of treatment. Just sayin’.”

      You don’t pay them to come over, you pay them to leave after… 🙂

  11. When I was a child there was a grease fire on my Granddany’s. stove. Mom was cooking. Mom was panicking. I was at the kitchen table working on a coloring book. I glanced up and said, “Put a cover on it.” I had been taught that in elementary school safety class. Remember those? Anyway, Mom did as directed. I went back to coloring. Moral is. Look at what you’re looking at. Form a plan of action. Execute the plan of action. An executed plain of action, any action, is better than sitting around watching shit go to hell around you.

  12. As far as I know the Libertarians liberals and the left still support people walking around naked in public. This happens every year during gay pride month.
    And yes I know they don’t support people walking around naked or clothed, and attacking other people with a frying pan.

    “San Francisco nudists vow to bare all and be damned”

    “I’ve been arrested 15 times and cited 20 times for being naked in public but I’ve never been convicted,” he said. “I’ve never even been tried because the case is always dropped because the DA knows they will lose.”

    • I have no problem at all with naked women in public. Naked men? Let loose the hounds.

      • Thank you for your honesty. However naked g@y fat men known as “Bears” tend to be a very popular view.

      • Ks made it legal for a woman to go topless, all us guys really had our hopes up. I dont know who lobbied for that bill, evidently it wasn’t any women because the only hooters we see around here are owls.

    • The problem with public nudity is that nobody who you’d actually want to see nude would walk around nude. It’s always gross psychos and fat mental patients.

      • once visited a nudist colony during a volleyball tournament…all these young guys running around looking like tripods…definitely gave me an inferiority complex…

      • Growing up, I noticed they spend a great deal of their time talking about sex and drugs. And they spend very little time talking about the 2A or property rights.

  13. I was going to ask what her bra size was until I looked at the photos of her. a very unspectacular A-1 up on a skanky looking woman. I would pitch her out the door to.

  14. I hate to say it, but this doesn’t look like a good shoot as presented, at least in my jurisdiction. I’m glad the homeowner wasn’t charged, but it could have been worse if the police or presecutors weren’t reasonable. They could.have ruined his life over a mistake in a situation he didn’t start, and law isn’t justice. While she was hitting him with pan, deadly force is perfectly fine. Here, even thinking she’s going to attack someone after breaking in would be enough justification, while she was inside. Once she’s outside with a physical barrier that would stop her weapon, she’s not a threat (no imminent threat/proximity/ability, despite obvious intent) and can’t be targeted with deadly force. If she managed to break through a window or door and get in again, proximity and ability return, and deadly force becomes a legal option.

    • “I hate to say it, but this doesn’t look like a good shoot as presented, at least in my jurisdiction.”

      Ordinarily, that may have been plausible. However –

      In this instance, the fact that she smashed the window tips the balance in his favor, since it’s likely broken glass was found inside his home.

      In many areas, the moment the broken glass fell inside is considered to be ‘breaking the plane’ between the inside (castle) and outside. Adding to that the unhinged attack she made on him, and he had every right to consider him self in danger…

  15. There was a lady in the town I grew up in who would occasionally go off her meds, strip naked and run around talking nonsense and harassing people about said nonsense.

    She never got violent though. I don’t think she ever walked into anyone’s house but then it’s not like it would have mattered. People just called the cops that Mrs. X was off her meds again.

    I’ve always sort of wondered if she could have been dealt with without medication by allowing her brain to re-normalize itself, which is actually quite, quite common in people who are entirely unmedicated outside the US.

    I always arrived at the conclusion that it wouldn’t have been worth trying since the time-frame of her returning to normal would have been so long as to drive at least a dozen other people into being just as crazy as she was, producing a major net loss.

  16. SO a big brave man with a gun has to SHOOT a naked woman with skillet?? What a wassock.What an advert for American manhood!
    And through a bloody DOOR! How was she a physical threat to him the other side of a bloody door??
    Why not stand back and enjoy the view. Then smack her over the head with a kitchen chair. I could perhaps understand it if she’d been armed with a firearm but a SKILLET? And NAKED? And the other side of a door? I should be so lucky and yes I have been attacked by a crazy gal with a broken bottle who I’d never even seen before. Unfortuneately she was NOT naked but extremely hammered – I knocked her out.

      • He does enjoy being spanked with a paddle by his dominatrix.

        If he has to sleep lying face down and eat standing up for several days, it was a good session.

    • I have never lost a football game from my living room either. He had already been hit a couple of times. Who knows what kind of shape he was in that point. He may have been fading fast and shot as a last ditch effort. A cast iron skillet is a DEADLY WEAPON and getting hit with one doesn’t leave a boo boo. I would have done exactly the same because I wouldn’t want her to come back into my house. The fact he shot her in the leg could have had something to do with the condition he was in at that point.

      You weren’t there.

      • This is why I don’t buy cast iron for my wife. The aluminium she wields is bad enough…

    • Why not stand back and enjoy the view. Then smack her over the head with a kitchen chair.

      Because, as you pointed out two sentences prior, there’s a door in the way. Duh.

      Your intellectual acumen is worse than the standard of dental care in your country multiplied by the AA success rate in Ireland.

  17. Guess we need waiting periods, background checks and registration of cast iron ” assault frying pans “. Make it unlawful to have a frying pan with over 3 hamburger patty capacity.

  18. Alright people, it’s 2023… get a camera that notifies you of movement and arm yourself. It’s not that complicated. Even the simple minded fools can do it. Might not be the most secure method, but something is better than nothing and even a Ring style camera is smarter than nothing at this point.

  19. remember sitting at a security checkpoint in a large building in a major city….and seeing a naked woman walk by…it happens…

  20. If a naked lady knocks on a mans door with a frying pan in her hand, most men will say , thank you GOD, what a blessing, and then proceed to ask the gal, sex before or after the meal ?

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