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To be fair, I do hold drills, spray bottles, and just about anything else with a pistol style grip with my index finger parked in the safe position.

 

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52 COMMENTS

    • “Pussygat!” 🙂

      BOOM! Winner, winner!

      EDIT: Uh-oh. I must have used one too many swear words yesterday.

      I’ve been on a winning streak — I hadn’t had a post go into moderation for over a week. Until this one.

  1. You will hold our cat like that only once.

    A Cat Haiku
    I am allergic to cats
    My wife and daughter really love them
    I contemplate my family rank

    • Not a Haiku..

      I-am-a-ller-gic-to-cats = 7 syllables
      My-wife-and-daugh-ter-re-a-lly-love-them = 10 syllables
      I-con-tem-plate-my-fam-i-ly-rank = 9 syllables

      A “HAIKU” is 5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables

      Family loves cats
      I have a cat allergy
      I must live outside

      Yeah, I know everyone’s a critic…

        • Probably ran that one a bit quick to miss the extra syllable in wiser. Whatever.

          You’ve clearly not seen the masterpiece that is Gummo nor realized that cats are disgusting reservoirs of disease and also evil.

        • Yeah, they can be pretty evil, but I missed the memo about disgusting diseases, that’s not been my experience in the nearly 15 years we’ve been rescuing them in fact I find them to be very clean. I live in an area inhabited by several species of poisonous snake including the Coral Snake and I have witnessed these cats ganging up and actually killing a number of them that were headed into my property. I can assure you I prefer the company of those cats over a lot of humans I’ve known.

        • “Fam-i-ly-no-wis-er = 6 syllables”

          Just use “fambly”.

          Then you’ve also gone multicultural.

          As for: “…cats are disgusting reservoirs of disease and also evil.”

          You make them sound almost human.

        • MAXX,

          When my grandparents retired, they moved to a lot in a desert area, near a reservoir. They planted a cactus garden in front (to save on watering), and found they had a rattlesnake problem. Independently, they had adopted a kitten from one of my cousins . . . cute little thing, fluffy (there was some Persian in there somewhere) and very loving. First time she encountered a danger worm, she was offended by its aggressiveness, and waited for it to strike, caught it by the back of the neck, and killed it. She decided she liked that, so she used to spend hours hiding in the cactus garden for a snake to come around, then she’d ambush it and kill it. My granddad lost count of how many rattlers she dispatched.

          I’m more of a dog person, but I’ve got no beef with cats . . . other than the fact that they have PERFECTED the art of “I don’t give a s***”. A little TOO aloof for my taste.

        • I’m more of a dog person,

          My last dog was a 235-pound English Mastiff named Moose I got him at eight weeks old and he already weighed 24 pounds. Moose loved the cats, they would nap together, and he would (playfully) chase them around the back yard, if he found babies, he would come get me. Moose died of cancer ten days before his tenth birthday in 2015 and I’ve not been of the mindset for another dog. The cats are entertaining and to watch them encircle a deadly snake then PLAY with it for hours is an amazing thing, then they get tired of the game and go all primal leaving the dead snake lying at the edge of the yard by the road. Yeah, they DO carry the attitude a bit far, but I have a few that don’t hide their enthusiasm for human contact all that well.

    • My wife and I have nearly identical Jeeps except hers is an automatic. Nothing I can do short of dedicating all of my brain to my left foot stops me from searching for the clutch when I drive hers.

  2. I was on PX with a friend of mine this morning while watching the local weather. I kept hearing a scratching at the door. It was my son’s, girlfriend’s cat. (Don’t even ask.) There was a dead wren, and its decapitated head on my door mat. At least I think it used to be a wren.

    • Your son’s girlfriend’s cat likes you. That was a gift. We used to get disemboweled rabbits for our door prize.

        • Way ahead of you, only time I put on my New Balance sneaks is if I need to drive somewhere, only time I wear the boots is when the Harley will be involved (actually a lot more often than any of my other vehicles). I have very healthy feet (always have), rarely wear socks and don’t have a problem with foot odor… I do have several cats that were bottle fed from about 4/5 weeks (abandoned by their mother) and now they follow me around, nap on my lap and present me with gifts like their favorite toys, an occasional well-worn lizard and those aforementioned deceased mice deposited in my boots which I check daily.

  3. Some of the Giant grocery stores around here have a scanner for you to scan your own groceries. I find myself indexing my trigger finger as well.

  4. Maybe Alec Baldwin needs a cat.
    He claimed today that the FBI had it all wrong about the pistol.
    And of course, he is right. /sarc

    • Alec Baldwin literally invented the cat, as we know it today. It was all his idea. And he’s never been wrong about anything (no, not even once) in his entire life. He’s quite a guy.

      I’ll bet he’s fun to live with.

  5. Okay, I just tried holding my tomcat like that and got the living shit scratched out if me. Maybe it was the placement of my fiddle finger, I don’t know? The sonofabitch is still giving me dirty looks.

  6. We had this little cat that was a fearless hunter. I regularly would find bird remains behind the couch- wings and stomach contents only! Crunch! Crunch! He brought in a live giant moth with it’s wings flapping against the sides of his head. Then just drops it in front of me. I thought oh it’s just a harmless moth until It reared up on it’s hind legs when I reached for it! Bout crapped my pants!

    • Was it grey? I’ve had two tomato plants ate up by Hawk moth caterpillars in the last week. I think I finally got em all.
      I was watching a hummingbird feeder, and a hummingbird got in a fight with a yellow swallowtail butterfly. I figured the hummingbird would run its beak through it , but the butterfly got ahold of the hummingbird with its feet and whacked the hummingbird with its wings until the hummingbird took off. I’d have lost money on that bet.

  7. That’s how I was taught to use a hand saw – indexing with my trigger finger.

    My 25 lb Maine Coon is too big to hold that way. He has to be shoulder mounted.

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