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  1. “And then when I pointed my gun at the 2 burglars, they peed their pants”!

  2. Used to use one of these back in the day, and now my grandkids wants Obama to take this away from me. I said, “yeah you and what army”

    • “erhhhh… full lug, ribbed Taurus M44 loaded with SWC? am I close?”

      I’m wondering the same thing. What is that? The details (rear sight, rib) don’t look like anything I’m familiar with.

  3. I’ll bet I can hit an apple off bidens head with my eyes closed, now where is that wascal, Randy

    • exactly. she looks just like the woman from the Wendy’s commercials. “Where’s the beef, MotherF**ker??”

  4. “…and that’s when I hauled out this here .44 like this, and I said, ‘Son, if’n you wanna run around buck-ass nekkid, you go right ahead, but you climb right back outta that window before I get your blood all over my carpet’. And mister, he done it. You never seen a nekkid man climb down a tree so fast…”

  5. “Point me in direction of that Suspect #2, I will take care of the little jihadist shit”

  6. “American Granny on Opening Day of Liberal Season: “Land sakes, there be so many ’round here, I can hit ’em with my eyes closed!”

  7. “Boy you best zip up them there drawers!! I seen bigger things than that on a mouse last night!!”

    “Mr Biden….I believe you forgot about this here revolver!! 2 shots my ass!!”

  8. After personally checking out the nursing home her son had in mind, Mrs Jones decided that her state Department of Corrections would be more accommodating….l

  9. “So, I bust a cap in your ass and get life in prison. Honestly, what’s that mean, 2 mebbe 3 months? It’ll be worth it not to have to hear you snore thru another night!”

  10. My instructor told me you can aim with one eye closed or both eyes open, I’m going with the third option.

  11. ” It’s been 70 years with you complaining about my cookin’ now your going to sit there and eat it without one word, not one word, or your going to get it”

  12. Lady: So what if it is a “Hollywood teacup” hold. I only need one shot to blow your @$$ away punk.

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