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  1. “The most difficult part,” Lucas continued, “was researching what kind of handheld radios were in use during that period. The great folks we have over at Industrial Light and Magic- just a bunch of great, really talented guys- have actually come up with a radio you carried in a backpack. So little Jonny here, whenever he held a gun, will now actually be holding the handset, and will be wearing a field radio backpack for the entirety of the movie now.”

  2. Inset: The beginning of a legend. “That’s where the Action in ‘Action Jonny’ came from,” Jonny revealed. “Big misunderstanding. It was pretty tough, though. I’ve had jars of mayonnaise give me more of a fit than that thing.”

  3. I can’t believe that “Mezkan” will pay us 2 grand for this thang! …ya ‘ think Pa will notice it missin’?

  4. Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This… is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

  5. I have no choice. Scott Farkus and his little toady Grover stole Ralphie’s lunch money again and Farkus “triple-dog dared” me to do something about it.

  6. There was a time when a shotgun in a school wouldn’t draw a second thought from anyone. We used to bring our rifles on the bus so we could hunt squirrels after school. People would piss their pants and scream like their hair was on fire if that were to happen today.

    • No kidding!!!! Ah the good ol days!!!!! I remember riding my dirt bike to school with either my .22lr or my 410 single shot strapped on it somewhere!!! If I got up early Enuff I could get in an hour or so of rabbit or squirrel before school!!
      Nowadays all the politicos have done is make it easier for the BG’s to have an uncontested shooting gallery!!!!
      Wonder what they would say if it happened in the school their kids go to?!???


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