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The winner of last weekend’s holiday edition contest was Bad-Timing. Congrats and happy new year.

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  1. Do _you_ have any idea why this is banned in California, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York, and Maryland?

  2. I’d let you try this rifle, but we’d have to go to an FFL for a background check, whatever the hell that means.

  3. “For the last time, Trooper, that’s the shoulder thingy that goes up! What you’re pointing at is the hand thingy that goes down! Why did we ever let the Irish in our army?”

  4. Look, the Hekawis and the Shuggs have had it with O’rourke and Agarn hittin on their squaws and they’re fuckin serious this time…they’ve got Fort Courage surrounded…it’s up to us to save F Troop!!!

  5. “I wish the Army would give us some of these Winchesters, instead of the crap Trapdoors we fight with everyday.”

  6. Now listen up… this here is that new winchester lever action assault rifle. It can fire 10 million rounds a second if you use the thing that goes up. It’s deadly accurate at ranges of a thousand miles or more. This part up here???? Oh thats a barrel shroud. You shouldn’t mess with that. That makes it even deadlier. It has a 50,000 round clipazine too.
    If you shoot it correctly the recoil and muzzle flash should not give you a temporary case of ptsd.

    Did I miss anything?

  7. Now, son, for this mission, I’m going to have to send you in undercover. Are you familiar with….”deep concealment?”

  8. One day they will have powerful pistols with the firepower of this Winchester ’73.
    Some good thats gonna do us now Sarge!

  9. Now lean this against a tree and forget about it. In a hundred years when they find it it will drive them nuts as to why it was there.

  10. “They call it a Picatinny rail. I don’t know what it’s for but it’s really cool and I’d like more of them all over the whole gun.”

  11. My father was a gunsmith. The Six Fingered Man commissioned this gun, and my father labored for an entire year to make it perfect in every way. When the Six Fingered Man inspected it, he offered my father half the agreed upon price.
    My father refused, and the Six Fingered Man immediately cut him down with his sidearm….
    …When I find him, I will say, “hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.”

  12. Back in my day boy we killed injuns one shot at a time. Now you got these new fangled shooting irons.Call me old fashioned, but where’s the sport in that?

  13. Well Ralphie that’s one fine Daisy Red Rider ya got for Christmas. Ya know I better keep it for ya, I wouldn’t want ya to shoot your eye out with it.

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