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  1. According to hollywood and the msm these are the folks that are scarier than the folks flying airplanes into buildings and running crowds down in trucks.

    • I thought that Alex P. Keating finally pursuaded his father to quit working for PBS and become a Republcan.

    • In tremors 2 doesn’t he actually make a comment about divorcing her because she was upset about the break up of the Soviet Union or something?

      • Indeed. Something along the lines of lack of threat of nuclear war made him impossible to live with.

        • “What kinda thing does that say to a man?
          … anyways, takes more than that to get me down?!?”

          Heather’s not coming back…
          Told me to send her the H.K.-91!

  2. Yes dear we did save some money not using reinforcing steel in the walls.
    How much did we save on the roof?

  3. “Roger that Burt, and congratulations. Be advised, however, that there are two more, repeat, two more motherhumpers.”

    • The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese, and the third kid gets to date the daughter. (At least until he reloads)

  4. “Farago hit the sauce and asked “What caliber for a Prius?” on TTAG. I think this will do it. Let’s test it out on Jeff’s car. I’ve never liked that guy and he’s been letting his dog shit in our yard!”

  5. “I’m not really a POTG but I play one on TV.”

    Sad Burt Gummer’s a gun grabber, love his character.

  6. “This here is a sawed off shotgun. It used to be ten feet long.”
    “Oh yeah, well this is a radio, and I used it to call in an airstrike.”

  7. Dude: Is that a zombie or a liberal?
    Dudette: Not sure, seem to be acting alike, better take both just to be sure.
    Dude: What am I gunna do with the other shot?

  8. “This could be the end… while we’re up here, lemme tell about about those wild times I had in Miami-Dade, 1986…”

  9. Jill, if there’s ever a problem, just walk out on the balcony here, walk out, put that double barrel shotgun, and fire two blasts outside the house.

  10. “You fired a 25 dollar bullet at a giant fish worm! No wonder we have to live in this craphole desert ghost town!” Thus began the dissolution of Burt and Heathers marriage.

  11. Oh, Gawd. It’s a gerbil, alright. I’m gonna give ‘im both barrels a’cause they’ll charge if ya just wound ’em.

  12. Every gun owners sub conscious feelings about the conflict between gun haters and normal people.

    • Earl: What kind of fuse is that?
      Burt: Cannon fuse.
      Earl: What the hell do you use it for?
      Burt:(matter-of-factly) For my cannon.

  13. Ahhh…the four-bore double rifle. An excellent choice, Burt. Just the same, I recommend a head shot on that squirrel. They’re tougher than they look…

  14. “That model railroad is NOT to scale, dammit”

    Believe it or not, Michael Gross is a model railroader, and has a recent article over at Model Railroad Hobbyist.

  15. Her: “Good shot honey. Was that a Democrat or a Socialist?”

    Him: “What’s the difference?”

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