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  1. See Mary B. my gun is very clean. Oh, hi Mr. B ummm, just talking to your daughter about the weather.

    • See Mary B. my gun is very clean. Oh, hi Mr. B, ummm, just talking to your daughter about my rifle.

      FIFY – Cliff

  2. Diane Feinstein’s first boyfriend breaks up with her saying “sleeping with this assault rifle would be more exciting than sex with you”. And now you know why she hates them.

  3. “This is my rifle, this is my gun…”

    “Oh it’s OK, Paw, I was jes’ admirin’ his gun. I mean his rifle.”

    [I have a picture of my grandfather in a getup just like that. God that hat is lame.]

      • No. But I grew up in a family of ex navy. 3 of whom were in Pearl Harbor on Dec. 7th, 1941.

        I don’t tell people my branch. All I say is that at one time I was a member of the American Legion and the VFW.

  4. Whilst attempting to persuade some young ruffians to begin painting the fence, a fetching young lady in incomplete fencing attire happened by.
    Distraction ensued.

  5. To the camera holder:
    HE says-“Hell-they strangers on MY property with no invite from me.”
    SHE says-“Yep, n they got UUUGLY nekkid legs.”

  6. “…The way your dad looked at it, that rifle was your birthright. He’d be damned if anyone was gonna put their greasy hands on his girl’s birthright. So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something…”

  7. A recently discovered deleted scene in which Dorothy and the scarecrow shoot flying monkeys down with an ’03.

  8. Aww come on honey! I’ll give you this here rifle if you will show me more of your black socks.

  9. Jack boots & flats – the perfect combination for cuttin’ a rug after a hard day on the range.

  10. Grampa’s unwavering inability to talk about any other subject made certain that only one particular kind of girl would ever be willing to listen to him long enough to become interested.

    That’s Gramma on the right, of course, playing naive. She would regularly mop the floor with him at 600 yards.

  11. Take this, Jewel, and next time Swearingen tells you to mop the floor of the Gem, you let him have it!

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