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[h/t Jim T.]

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  1. Can I see your ID kid? We got calls that someone suspicious was sitting at this counter. I need to make sure you aren’t a felon and you are allowed to be here!

  2. I see you left your bag unattended there, boy. Why don’t you go ahead and pick it up.. go ahead pick it up… put your hand on it.. pick it up… I said pick it up! Pick! Up! the bag! come on! REACH FOR IT!!!!!!

  3. Listen kid… we democrats changed the Filibuster rule last year so we do stuff OUR WAY NOW , get it ? Rebublicans are bought and paid for ..Lets see them try to change it back !. Ha Ha .. Its All OURS NOW !!!!! The shheepple are all asleep.

  4. “Another day in Amerikkka when Hispanic-Aryan-Supremacist militia member George Zimmerman brutalized a toddler of color for buying skittles with the money he earned saving puppies from the slaughterhouse.”

  5. Nope, this is my regular duty gear………..
    I found it in the MRAP the feds gave us to help “Protect and Serve” you………..

  6. Yea kid, I did see the ” NO FIREARMS ALLOWED” sign….cops are special. Got anything I should know about in that bag of yours? You look guilty to me.

  7. So your outbound and tracking…good luck, I’m busy serving myself and protecting my pension…so your on your own, just like your mo

  8. Woah! You eyeballin’ my piece, 50 cent? Go ahead, make somethin’ happen. ‘Cuz I guarantee I’ll bust you up.

  9. Officer Fife did not notice that when little jihad timmy left the counter he did not take his cute little book bag with him. Officer Fife will realise his mistake in 10, 9, 8,……

  10. Whaddya mean you don’t support a public day of mourning and a statue for Chris Kyle!? What are ya, a Muslim or a Commie…or both! Wait a minute, you’re a midget Obama clone come to take my guns and give me free health care. The terror!

    • Yeah, free health care. Right. Listen, come back when you understand that nothing is free, you entitled liberal prick. Until then, go play with your toys and let the grown ups talk.

  11. Yo homeboy you got any Looseys.


    If Trayvon had an intervention like this he still would be a d-bag.

    Pass the pepper spray the chilis for wimps.

  12. Son, I am going to have to confiscate your bacon, it may have been part of a mass cooking with high capacity skillets.

  13. During a break in action with a local hostage crisis, Officer Dudley stops by for some pie and coffee.

  14. Officer William’s mask obviously hadn’t been properly sealed when he raided the Meth lab, as evidenced by the fact that he was wondering around gibbering, still wearing a smattering of SWAT gear.

  15. Barney ‘Nip it in the bud’ Fife Was my grandfather. He had one bullet and a revolver. Look what I got.

    • Yeah, I remember the days when this country was a lot more Norman Rockwell and a lot less George Orwell. I miss those days, a lot.

  16. Just your typical encounter while playing Fallout.

    50s decor: check
    little lost orphan: check
    useless guy running the place: check
    character armed to the teeth with full body armor: check

    stay safe and watch out for Deathclaws everyone.

  17. “I can’t believe these people whining about the ‘militarization of the police’, we’re just here to protect people from themselves and- HEY, you even listening, KID? “

  18. When you run from me, you’re going to trip on your untied shoes and I WILL catch you. Should have listened to your daddy and learned how to tie them…

  19. In Bloomberg”s ideal America-.
    Mr Brown: See here ma’ boy, if you wanna carry when you grow-up you gonna have to dress like him, cause you don’t look like me…….
    Officer Washington agrees with a nod…..
    From behind a mask

    P.S.-anyone notice that the cop is black?

  20. Why do police wear all the combat gear you ask? To protect us from the citizens that serve us of course.

  21. “Looks like you got an 12oz. malt there. You know you’re restricted to 10oz. or less without a permit, right? Well, let’s see your papers!”

  22. Sooo…again, I’m really sorry about the dog…those teacups sound Sooo much bigger than they look. The ice cream makes us evens right?

  23. No, really, I’m just here to make sure no one feels intimidated while they are exercising their constitutional rights.

  24. Hey kiddo. I’d like to talk to you about an exciting and promising adventure in Mary Kay distribution.

  25. Yes son, this is the land of the Free and Home of the Brave. But I am afraid that you will try and use the Bill of Rights to protect yourself. So, don’t be afraid, just do as I say, not as I do.

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