Weekend Caption Contest



[h/t Jim T.]


  1. avatar The Mountain that Rides says:

    Are you my mummy?

    1. avatar Bigred2989 says:

      Well, I think we’re done here.

    2. avatar dlj95118 says:

      …nice Dr. Who reference!

    3. avatar MAC][ says:

      Brilliant!!! 🙂

    4. avatar Garibaldi says:

      My jaw dropped when I read that! The -only- full episode of Dr Who that I ever watched since the Tom Baker days, and it gets referenced here. What are the odds of that??

      BTW none of the other Doctors could even begin to hold a candle to Tom Baker. I tried watching the modern ones and I never even made it through a full episode.

    5. avatar Marcus (Aurelius) Payne says:

      You win.

    6. avatar slicer87 says:

      Can’t beat that one.

    7. avatar borg says:

      Luke I am your father.

      1. avatar bontai Joe says:

        You beat me to it, but it sure does fit

  2. avatar David says:

    Did I see you take a pack of gum from the 7-11 Jimmy? Well, did I?

    1. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

      winner right here….of course now I’m a racist cause the kid is of color,,,,right? (sarc)

  3. avatar Mark J Wales says:

    Are you going to eat those fries?

  4. avatar BDub says:

    Hey kid, ever play with a flash-bang? (snicker)

  5. avatar doesky2 says:

    Yeah I’m the one that shot your dog……..what are you gonna do about it?

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      ….. and I’m gonna shoot your cat tomorrow and your little brother next week. Get used to it.

  6. avatar Clayton says:

    Can I search your bag?!

    1. avatar Shaw Shot says:

      more like ‘give me the bag now!’

  7. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    You can have the ice cream, kid, but sorry, sprinkles are for winners.

  8. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      Followed up with:

      “Joey, have you ever seen a grown cop naked?

  9. avatar Rick the Bear says:

    Kid, do I have to send you to the Group W bench?

    1. avatar Tim says:

      Nice Arlo reference!

  10. avatar Don in PA says:

    Can I see your ID kid? We got calls that someone suspicious was sitting at this counter. I need to make sure you aren’t a felon and you are allowed to be here!

    1. avatar Model 31 says:

      But officer, you were here before me.

  11. avatar Michael C says:

    Doncha know you ain’t sposed to be at this counter, Boooy?!?

  12. avatar Craig says:

    Well…, would you trade my rifle for your fruit snacks?!?

  13. avatar Jon in CO says:

    Diner Ninja

  14. avatar Ed says:

    Welcome to Obama’s America kid!

  15. avatar Paul G says:

    Hey kid, I can get ya some xm855, cheap.

    1. avatar AllAmerican says:


    2. avatar Milsurp Collector says:

      There goes my iced tea all over the keyboard. This one’s a winner for me.

    3. avatar Accur81 says:

      Well played, sir.

  16. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    I am your father, Luke!

  17. avatar Desert Ranger says:

    Can you say cur-few, little boy?

  18. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    i better see those hands in the air ….NOW!!!,,,Mr. Brown

  19. avatar AllAmerican says:

    I see you left your bag unattended there, boy. Why don’t you go ahead and pick it up.. go ahead pick it up… put your hand on it.. pick it up… I said pick it up! Pick! Up! the bag! come on! REACH FOR IT!!!!!!

  20. avatar Ole'Wolf says:


  21. avatar E.F. Scott says:

    Coffee…is for CLOSERS.

  22. avatar Big C says:

    “Stop Resisting!!”

    1. avatar Paul G says:

      Ow…love it!

  23. avatar James69 says:

    Say Barney again!…. I double dog dare you…, Say Barney again!…. Say it!!

  24. avatar James69 says:


  25. avatar Schernobyl says:

    It’s rude to fart and wear a gas mask!

  26. avatar Wyatt says:

    Listen kid… we democrats changed the Filibuster rule last year so we do stuff OUR WAY NOW , get it ? Rebublicans are bought and paid for ..Lets see them try to change it back !. Ha Ha .. Its All OURS NOW !!!!! The shheepple are all asleep.

  27. avatar nynemillameetuh says:

    “Another day in Amerikkka when Hispanic-Aryan-Supremacist militia member George Zimmerman brutalized a toddler of color for buying skittles with the money he earned saving puppies from the slaughterhouse.”

  28. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    I’ll have a extra large chipotle burrito and a–
    Hey kid, did you fart?

  29. avatar Drew R says:

    I’m from the government and I’m here to help.

  30. avatar YO_V says:

    See, don’t you feel so much safer now that only the police have guns?

  31. avatar Geoff PR says:

    Ferguson, Mo., 15 years earlier…

  32. avatar Boz says:

    Nope, this is my regular duty gear………..
    I found it in the MRAP the feds gave us to help “Protect and Serve” you………..

  33. avatar I1uluz says:

    Kid to Officer: Your breath REALLY stinks!!!

  34. avatar Paul G says:

    Yea kid, I did see the ” NO FIREARMS ALLOWED” sign….cops are special. Got anything I should know about in that bag of yours? You look guilty to me.

  35. avatar dh34 says:

    Mind if we dance with your dates???….Just kidding kid, you gonna finish those fries?

  36. avatar Don in PA says:

    This vest is just police surplus kid… I’m only the neighborhood watch.

  37. avatar PSP says:

    Did you say “Yes Sir” or “Yeah sure”?

    1. avatar Jon in CO says:

      Littering and?…

      1. avatar Phil LA says:

        “Hurry up meow.”

    2. avatar LongBeach says:

      I don’t WANT a large Farva, I want a goddamn liter o’ cola!

      1. avatar JWM says:

        In my day we used blanks….

  38. avatar Fred says:

    “Who the f#@% is Norman Rockwell?”

    1. avatar Oddux says:

      ” ‘Norman Rockwell?’ He sounds like one of them domestic terrorist types.”

      1. avatar 80 D says:

        Rockwell? No, son, I rock excellent.

  39. avatar FDF says:

    Yeah, well, Mr. Rockwell isn’t here now, is he?

  40. avatar mk1010* says:

    So your outbound and tracking…good luck, I’m busy serving myself and protecting my pension…so your on your own, just like your mo

  41. avatar Stinkeye says:

    “No, I don’t know why Chris Kyle doesn’t have a headstone. Just drop it already, kid!”

  42. avatar Buffalo Bob says:

    WOOGY Boogyboogy!

  43. avatar Oddux says:

    “What’chu lookin’ at? Don’t make me ‘fear for my life’, kid.”

  44. avatar Jeff says:

    You think you got it rough? Try eating a sundae with this mask on!

  45. avatar Emfourty Gasmask says:

    Yet another minority kid that’ll be scared of the police their entire life.

  46. avatar JackieO says:

    Children learn what they live.

  47. avatar the ruester says:

    “…was that a bark?”

  48. avatar Eric L says:

    “Papers pleaze. Heir bloomturd says nine to ze large sodas, unless you haf ze proper papers.”

  49. avatar Brick says:

    Kid, I’m the only one in this room professional enough to handle this black rifle.

  50. avatar Scott says:

    Playing hooky just got real.

  51. avatar Accur81 says:

    Woah! You eyeballin’ my piece, 50 cent? Go ahead, make somethin’ happen. ‘Cuz I guarantee I’ll bust you up.

  52. avatar JWM says:

    Officer Fife did not notice that when little jihad timmy left the counter he did not take his cute little book bag with him. Officer Fife will realise his mistake in 10, 9, 8,……

  53. avatar BoogieWoogieMan says:

    Whaddya mean you don’t support a public day of mourning and a statue for Chris Kyle!? What are ya, a Muslim or a Commie…or both! Wait a minute, you’re a midget Obama clone come to take my guns and give me free health care. The terror!

    1. avatar Jake Tallman says:

      Yeah, free health care. Right. Listen, come back when you understand that nothing is free, you entitled liberal prick. Until then, go play with your toys and let the grown ups talk.

  54. avatar Phil LA says:

    “He who smelt-it dealt-it.”

  55. avatar GS650G says:

    Remember Elian Gonzalez?
    Didn’t think so.

  56. avatar Publius says:

    “Careful son, I might have to arrest you on suspicion of having too much freedom.”

  57. avatar Retired LEO says:

    Yo homeboy you got any Looseys.


    If Trayvon had an intervention like this he still would be a d-bag.

    Pass the pepper spray the chilis for wimps.

  58. avatar Patrick says:

    “It’s for the children.”

  59. avatar Paul53 says:

    What you got in the backpack kid?

  60. avatar Mark B says:

    Son, I am going to have to confiscate your bacon, it may have been part of a mass cooking with high capacity skillets.

  61. avatar Paul53 says:

    You’re not heading for Syria are you kid?

  62. avatar Paul53 says:

    You think it’s easy being a school crossing guard?

  63. avatar Chris Knox says:

    During a break in action with a local hostage crisis, Officer Dudley stops by for some pie and coffee.

  64. avatar Jimmy B says:

    Give the Officer a harrumph… You watch your @$$.

  65. avatar David Maŕklànd says:

    Ever seen a grown man naked?

    1. avatar Pieslapper says:

      Have you ever been in a cockpit Timmy?

      1. avatar Phil LA says:

        I just want to wish you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.

  66. avatar Lucas D. says:

    “Get. Your own. Goddamn. Milkshake.”

  67. avatar jdb says:

    Officer William’s mask obviously hadn’t been properly sealed when he raided the Meth lab, as evidenced by the fact that he was wondering around gibbering, still wearing a smattering of SWAT gear.

  68. avatar CGinTX says:

    “Go ahead and eat, son. My body camera can’t be switched off during my shift.”

  69. avatar New Chris says:

    Hey kid, you wanna see a dead body?

  70. avatar Paul53 says:

    Hi, I’m Kory Watkins. Coming to your pre-school to reassure you about open carry in Texas.

  71. avatar A-Rod says:

    Barney ‘Nip it in the bud’ Fife Was my grandfather. He had one bullet and a revolver. Look what I got.

  72. avatar Sabrewolfe says:

    Why are you resisting arrest?!

  73. avatar Bryan says:

    I’m the one yur mama warned ya about. Boo!

  74. avatar tmm says:

    If you want a Pepsi, you’ll have to pay for it.

  75. avatar dMo says:

    One day, when you grow up…you too can be a jack-booted thug!

  76. avatar Kellen says:

    It’s ok kid. I’m with the government and I’m here to help.

  77. avatar Ing says:

    You’re an operator? But how do you answer the phone with that mask on?

  78. avatar Carl Brill Jr. says:

    Norman Rockwell meets George Orwell

    1. avatar Greg in Allston says:

      Yeah, I remember the days when this country was a lot more Norman Rockwell and a lot less George Orwell. I miss those days, a lot.

  79. avatar Fug says:

    “Could you unbuckle this thing for me, kid? My fingers are all greasy…”

  80. avatar sagebrushracer says:

    Just your typical encounter while playing Fallout.

    50s decor: check
    little lost orphan: check
    useless guy running the place: check
    character armed to the teeth with full body armor: check

    stay safe and watch out for Deathclaws everyone.

    1. avatar Carson says:

      +1 bottle cap

    2. avatar Drew R says:

      Don’t feed the Yagui!

      1. avatar Custodian says:

        Don’t feed the Yao guai that is all.

  81. avatar Carson says:

    “I can’t believe these people whining about the ‘militarization of the police’, we’re just here to protect people from themselves and- HEY, you even listening, KID? “

  82. avatar Marco says:

    When you run from me, you’re going to trip on your untied shoes and I WILL catch you. Should have listened to your daddy and learned how to tie them…

  83. avatar Marco says:

    Dude, Magic is for Babies. Waa-Waa. Come LARP with me.

  84. avatar Al says:

    See my backpack mister? I carry concealed.

  85. avatar David says:

    “Hey mister, does having all that gear make you brave?”

  86. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    In Bloomberg”s ideal America-.
    Mr Brown: See here ma’ boy, if you wanna carry when you grow-up you gonna have to dress like him, cause you don’t look like me…….
    Officer Washington agrees with a nod…..
    From behind a mask

    P.S.-anyone notice that the cop is black?

  87. avatar Claymore says:

    You don’t mind if I pat you down for my safety?

  88. avatar Sc0utdoors says:

    Why do police wear all the combat gear you ask? To protect us from the citizens that serve us of course.

  89. avatar Jack Gault says:

    I’m a jackbooted thug and I will shoot you.

  90. avatar Tim says:

    “Today’s public service announcement: Storm Troopers Are People Too”

  91. avatar aaronw says:

    “Look, Kid, the AK/AR debate is settled. End of story, go back to drinking your root beer float.”

  92. avatar 357M28 says:

    Now, slowly hand over that Pop-Tart gun……

  93. avatar ZM1306 says:

    I am supposedly related to Norman Rockwell…. not sure how, but a distant relative.


  94. avatar Alan Longnecker says:

    “Looks like you got an 12oz. malt there. You know you’re restricted to 10oz. or less without a permit, right? Well, let’s see your papers!”

  95. avatar Bryan says:

    Sooo…again, I’m really sorry about the dog…those teacups sound Sooo much bigger than they look. The ice cream makes us evens right?

  96. avatar Logan M says:

    This mask keeps the stench of freedom out of my nose.

  97. avatar Ray says:

    Don’t play stupid games and you won’t win lead prizes.

  98. avatar M J Johnson says:

    “Resistance is futile. You will adapt.”

  99. avatar anonymoose says:

    “You smell like pot.”

  100. avatar Almost Esq. says:

    Hey Kid relax, it’s ok. Black lives do matter.

  101. avatar Ilya says:

    “Mall ninja master’s master.”

  102. avatar Gregolas says:

    “Norman Rockwell’s America? Never heard of it!”

  103. avatar Jon says:

    “Don’t worry, kid… I’m from the government!”

  104. avatar NxSW says:

    No, really, I’m just here to make sure no one feels intimidated while they are exercising their constitutional rights.

  105. avatar twency says:

    Gecko45 eats breakfast with the locals.

  106. avatar Tominator says:

    “Skipping school again?”

    “You done with that ketchup kid?”

  107. avatar Forrestt C. says:

    You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?

  108. avatar JINKS says:

    Hey kiddo. I’d like to talk to you about an exciting and promising adventure in Mary Kay distribution.

  109. avatar Know Justice says:

    Yes son, this is the land of the Free and Home of the Brave. But I am afraid that you will try and use the Bill of Rights to protect yourself. So, don’t be afraid, just do as I say, not as I do.

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