Where Will You Wear Your ATF Branded Gear?

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We ran across this announcement from the ATF’s New York office touting the opening of the federal gun regulator’s fabulous new e-commerce site. They’re selling ATF-branded clothing and gear. How cool is that?

In addition to the usual hats, shirts, water bottles, and coffee mugs, you can buy this little fella . . .

ATF official merchandise
Courtesy ATF

There’s apparently no truth to the rumor that he comes complete with a bullet hole.

But rather than sporting BATFE swag, we have a better idea. Why not eliminate the entire ATF and the roughly $1.3 billion the taxpayer wastes spends on the regulator every year?

How? Simple. Just replace the entire bloated, grasping, rights-abrogating bureaucracy with one of these:

MAF Magic ATF Ball
Courtesy MAF

What you see here, ladies and gentlemen, is the MAF Magic ATF Ball. And for only $19.95, it does exactly what you think it does.

MAF Magic ATF Ball

Why should we foot the bill for more than 5000 federal employees when the Magic ATF Ball can handle any inquiry you might have?

Are you wondering if you can shoulder your AR pistol equipped with a stabilizing brace?

MAF Magic ATF Ball

Are you a firearm manufacturer and want to get a ruling on your new design?

MAF Magic ATF Ball

Wanna find out what it takes to SBR your rifle and stay on the right side of the NFA?

MAF Magic ATF Ball

Have a question about that gun you’re thinking of building at home?

MAF Magic ATF Ball

Can you give a gun you’ve built to someone else?

MAF Magic ATF Ball

The handy-dandy Magic ATF Ball has 20 possible answers to handle any question you could ask…all of them as authoritative and informative as you can expect to get from the ATF itself.

MAF Magic ATF Ball

The good news is, TTAG has a small supply of these little wonders, thanks to the good folks at MAF. We’ll be running occasional weekend photo caption contests over the next few weeks to give them to you, our valued readers. So keep your eye out and get creative. If you win one, you too may be able to spin up your own federal regulatory behemoth and dispense opaque, confusing, arbitrary, and frequently conflicting rulings and opinions, all on the taxpayer’s dime.




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  1. Selling atf logoed anything is a horrible idea as it could be materials for impersonators.

  2. This appears to be a spoof; but, the web site seems to be legit. If TTAG can confirm this, then I’ve got to think about it a while. . . . . . .

    After 9/11 wearing NYPD and FDNY caps became very fashionable, promoting those agencies for their performance.

    It’s still fashionable to wear NYPD caps, notwithstanding BLM and Defund The Police!

    There is something about “t-shirt” marketing that makes for broad public awareness. And, it’s NOT altogether rational.

    OK, so we PotG have our issues with ATF. NOBODY CARES. Nor does anyone have a need-to-know about our issues. (If the public doesn’t care about ATF running guns down to Juarez for the Sinaloa Cartel they won’t care about ATF’s using mentally- challenged kids in Milwaukee to operate a straw-buying sting.)

    What if we wanted to promote public awareness that there is already an alphabet agency that regulates guns. Who wooooda-thunk in a country where it’s supposedly easier to buy a gun than to check a book out of the library?

    Not completely convinced of this idea; but, maybe it’s time for we PotG to come-out-of-the-closet and raise public consciousness about guns.

    If someone asks, we simply say that ATF is sponsoring the commercial sale of these SWAG items to benefit Virginia Industries for the Blind. “I certainly want to support such a charitable organization.” And, with the official sanction of Uncle Sam no less.

    • I’d buy a ATF shirt with names and pictures of the children and, if there’s still room, the adults their incompetence and arrogance has gotten killed over the years.

      Could take an overcoat for enough space to list those merely wounded by ATF foul-ups.

      ATF has the bloodiest history of getting innocent people and even other cops killed of any Federal agency that does not fight wars.

      • Miner will be happy to wear his to show his personal allegiance to the new Director.

      • You’d buy that shit but you won’t buy the same for the party you vote for?

        The irony in your bullshit is unreal. You are a living and breathing oxymoron.

        Please, shut the fuck up and remove yourself.

        • Homeboy just harshly criticized the ATF’s bloody history (justifiably) and you ask him to shut up?

          What the hell, man? It’s like you read the first 5 words of his comment and blew a gasket before you read the rest.

        • Enuf spent the entire election season being all sanctimonious about how “real” Republicans need to restore democracy by voting for Biden because NeverTrump and blahblahblah, so there are certain gaskets here that were blown to the point where they’re irreparable. (Mine is one of them, but instead of blowing up, I choose not to engage.)

  3. Yay, the Caption This is coming back. Cool, that was fun win or lose.

    Where would I wear my ATF swag?
    The city’s sanitation facility, where they stir turds and watch rubbers float.

    • “The city’s sanitation facility, where they stir turds and watch rubbers float.”

      I’ve heard the ‘sanitation’ term for the crusher that breaks up ‘debris’ is called “The Muffin Buster”.

      I’ll gladly buy an ATF Magic 8-Ball (Weird, having a DEA term like ‘8-Ball’ used by the ATF) when the ATF is forced to re-open the MG registry again…

    • Well, yea, exactly. Except that last pinch on their breach team is the first knife in the back. So distracted by “Fortunate Son” they never even saw me slip behind them. “Clear!”? Me thinks so.

  4. I wonder if it wouldn’t be worse if the ATF’s duties were taken over by the FBI or Homeland Security. I think it would be easier for an administration to shuffle more resources to gun (confiscation) control efforts given the massive budgets they have.

    • Also, let’s not forget what the FBI did once they took over the situation at Waco. Which then went from very bad to worse (horrific).

      • One of our rural convenience stores…..a real Alcohol-Tobacco-Firearms…. actually has a drive thru window. Well, maybe one has to come inside for firearms. You know how those NICS thingys can jam up a drive-through lane. But, not ammo….if they had any now…..

  5. I was hoping for a nice blue windbreaker with a big yellow BATFE on the back, but they don’t seem to offer it.

      • They are indeed humorless, but they are also at least partly funny.

        ATF agent: “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help.”

        Citizens: (best Bugs Bunny laugh/cry) “Har-dee-har-har-har-huh? Wah!”

  6. I always enjoyed wearing my ICE hat to the Mexican Fiesta Festival in a nearby town. The looks were priceless.

    • When I was in high school the acronym was different. A friend’s dad worked for a communications systems company with the same letters as immigration enforcement but in a different order. They had the contract for the telecom equipment in the welfare offices. When he pulled up in his big white van with the letters on the side people would scatter like cockroaches.

    • No hammer and sickle inside a bullseye tattoo on your forehead?

      PS – – F the KKK, the DNC, (KKK were founded by democrats), jihads, nazis and the ATF.

  7. Last week, I was able to get to that BATF e-commerce sight with no problem, but as of tonight it seems to be password-protected, so I can no longer get in.
    Dang it, I was thinking of buying a BATF duffel bag to use as my range bag, just for laughs.
    LOL, I was imagining showing up at the range with the BATF range bag, then watching other shooters scatter out of fear that I’m going to take out a yardstick to measure their 16″ rifle barrel, or catch them shouldering the pistol brace on their AR pistol like an SBR at the range in Pennsylvania (obviously not here in NJ, where AR pistols are outright banned by state law “because scary-looking”).

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