Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win a Box of IMI Systems 9mm Range Ammo

beware blonde dames packing heat

courtesy pinterest.com

Ahem! My gun is up here….

Sometimes the early bird really does catch the worm and last week’s winner was the first entry off the bat, Mike Oregon. This week’s winner, as long as he or she gets their entry in before Sunday at midnight, will win a box of IMI Systems 9mm range ammo. Good luck.


  1. avatar jwm says:

    Thong carry. Guys never see it coming.

    1. avatar Snap On Tools says:

      Thigh holsters are, um, so functional. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

  2. avatar EmptyJay says:

    Do I even want to know where you were hiding that thing?

  3. avatar New Chris says:

    It was then that Jimmy learned that between her legs was a deadly trap.

  4. avatar MKV says:

    “Lie to me again and you’ll get both barrels.”

  5. avatar Mr.Savage says:

    that’s not a holster, no wonder I thought you were sleeping around….

    1. avatar chris says:

      Did you have fish today?

  6. avatar Mr.Savage says:

    or…. yes, your right, that is exactly what blue waffle looks like!

  7. avatar srirachapocalypse says:

    “These casting couch shenanigans stop now, chump.”

  8. avatar Jack says:

    Looks like your bore needs some polishing….

  9. avatar Lonesome Crow says:

    Ask her what she’s wearing, I dare you.

  10. avatar Scott Knoll says:

    Yes mine is bigger than yours

  11. avatar Eric TenEyck says:

    Nice look’in gat and beautiful gams, this dame is well put together.

  12. avatar Geoff PR says:

    “Just because I hate that ugly-ass fedora you’re wearing, you are about to experience the unique sensation of coming and going at the same time, Dan…”

  13. avatar Vhyrus says:

    Ahem! My gun is up here….

  14. avatar srirachapocalypse says:

    Claire Danes in “Baggy Shirts and Short Skirts”

  15. avatar AaronW says:

    “I’m here to end your sleazy telemarketing push”

  16. avatar John Davies says:

    Honey, I’m not staring at your crotch, I am wondering why you have your middle finger on the trigger….,

  17. avatar srirachapocalypse says:

    “Lady, you don’t wanna risk shooting that thing… it’s made out of meteorites.”

  18. avatar Joe R. says:

    Wow, Flared mag well?

  19. avatar TyrannyOfEvilMen says:

    A 1911 is like a dame… beautiful but dangerous. 😉

  20. avatar SpeleoFool says:

    Hello? 911? Yeah, I’ve got a woman here pointing a gun at me. I can’t tell how tall she is–she’s sitting down. Average height, I guess. White gal. Hair color? Just a sec…. Brunette.

  21. avatar Joe R. says:

    When did you get the shoulder stock for that thing?

  22. avatar Joe R. says:

    No-hands mag-change in 3 – 2 – 1 . . .

  23. avatar ACP_arms says:


  24. avatar Joe R. says:

    You wouldn’t need gloves, doll, if you got more stippling.

  25. avatar srirachapocalypse says:

    “I ain’t never seen panties that take batteries, Miss.”

  26. avatar srirachapocalypse says:

    “Safety word is Banana, sweetie.”

  27. avatar JasonM says:

    “Dear Penthouse Forum…”

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

      Well, it made me laugh.

  28. avatar Joe R. says:

    BANG !

    BANG ! BANG ! BANG !


    1. avatar Joe R. says:

      – cigarette

  29. avatar Mitch from DFW says:

    After the Weinstein meeting, Wanda’s agent suggested she bring protection for herself and the fiscus plant next time she was summoned to his office.

  30. avatar srirachapocalypse says:

    “Ma’am, might I suggest that your anger issues might stem from the fact that your office was built on a considerable slant?”

  31. avatar JDH says:

    Oh shit. You’re a dude?

  32. avatar David says:

    Hickok says Ballistol will clean that right up.

  33. avatar Hooda Thunkett says:

    That better be my gun you’re lookin’ at.

  34. avatar Badgerman says:

    This time I have something for you to stroke!

  35. avatar Joe R. says:

    Safety Rule #2

  36. avatar Jack says:

    I’m sorry…. What were we talking about? Hey! Sweet 1911!!

  37. avatar TheHound says:

    Damn baby, you take nice care of that… OH SHIT! Why do you have a gun?!

  38. avatar Chris T in KY says:

    With this great equalizer I will make you service me until you collapse, never to stiffen up again!! Ha ha ha!

  39. avatar AFGus says:

    That’s right Copper! Both of these weapons are loaded and ready to go! Feel Froggy? Jump!

  40. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    Not a caption, but this photo is (somewhat obviously) from a 1980s music video but I can’t come up with the band or the song. Anybody?

  41. avatar Lucas D. says:

    “Ya shouldn’t order the Hawaiian pizza, Johnny. My cousin ordered the Hawaiian pizza once… Once.

  42. avatar Joe R. says:

    Yeah, but can you re-holster without dropping the hammer?

  43. avatar Sam DeProspo says:

    She sat in my office with tears on her cheeks and fire in her eyes. This dame had a long slide to go with those long legs, she wasnt looking for help, she was looking for revenge!

  44. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Is that a gun in your va…. oh, it is, it really is.”

  45. avatar wd-40 says:

    Him: ” So your the dame that’s been robbing hapless men of their money; Well the jig is up doll, I’m callin’ the coppers!” Her: “Hold it right there Johnny, you ain’t calling no one. Now hang up the phone before things get real messy………..”

  46. avatar Republic if you can keep it says:

    Never trust a blonde or a 1911.

  47. avatar Ironhead says:

    I said no anchovies!!!!!!

  48. avatar BLAMMO says:

    I was just about to call for reservations at Dorsia, … but bringing in Chinese works for me.

  49. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    Oh my God! You really are Bruce Jenner!

  50. avatar Rick the Bear says:

    Hey big boy, my hammer is cocked. How ‘bout yours.

  51. avatar Don Frederick says:

    While talking to the flatfoot at the local PD, that’s when I heard the safety cl*t off.

  52. avatar troutbum5 says:

    This is my garter, this is my gat…

  53. avatar Somebody Special says:

    I am so confused. Am I more excited by the .45 or…

  54. avatar Lance Schaffer says:

    What gun?

  55. avatar Richard Hedd says:

    *old timey military briefing video voice*:
    “Think she is safe to take home tonight? Think again. She just might have VD. It’s like staring down the barrel of a loaded 45. In this case, both holes can kill you–dead as a hammer.”

  56. avatar Falcon 12 says:

    I’m okay with dying if that’s the last thing I get to see

  57. avatar TrappedInCommiefornia says:

    I looked over with excitement as I saw her lift her skirt, until I saw her pistol was bigger than mine.

  58. avatar YAR0892 says:

    No, I’m NOT happy to see you…

  59. avatar Darkman says:

    Think I better call the captain… We’re definitely gonna need a bigger boat.

  60. avatar Andrew M. says:

    “I told you what would happen if you ordered another pizza with pineapple on it…”

  61. avatar Huntmaster says:

    Do ya think ya can get off the phone and help me cock it?

  62. avatar Chris says:


  63. avatar modok says:

    Happiness is a warm gun!

  64. avatar Huntmaster says:

    Hey sugar, how bout we put in to condition one?

  65. avatar Mike Fulscher says:

    This dame was persuasive, but I told her I still needed to check out her story. That’s when I saw her piece.

  66. avatar ops says:

    My dicks bigger than yours.

  67. avatar Erik Weisz says:

    She could be pointing a gun at me and I’d never know it.

  68. avatar chris says:

    i see roast beef but smell haddock

  69. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    “I’ve heard of appendix carry, I’ve heard of hip carry, but this is a new one…”

  70. avatar joetast says:

    Hello ,,, Nazycegrowithagun, she said fuck you and it’s my gun now.

  71. avatar Patrick D. says:

    Oh! You are holding a gun? I didn’t take notice.

  72. avatar KT says:

    “what was it you said about women of my caliber?”

  73. avatar Hank says:

    You ask me for anal one more time…

  74. avatar SWAMPDADDY says:

    Mabel, Hold all my calls and reschedule today’s remaining appointments; something just came up requiring my immediate attention.

    1. avatar VF 1777 says:

      …for the win.

  75. avatar First time caller says:

    Kay, why?

  76. avatar SWAMPDADDY says:

    What lube are you using to get that kind of luster?

  77. avatar Chris says:

    So….you just gonna look at it?

  78. avatar Von says:

    Don’t make me pull out the BIG gun.

  79. avatar TStew says:

    I’m done asking nicely, darling. Now get down there…

  80. avatar Big Bill says:

    You’re sending mixed messages again, sweetheart.

  81. avatar makeITsnappy says:

    For the last time tell your buddy the garter belt ain’t for sale.

  82. avatar MikeF says:

    She has a gun?

  83. avatar pieslapper says:

    If Winestain’s first target had been a POTG.

  84. avatar djb says:

    I ordered double anchovies just like you asked, now please put the gun down.

  85. avatar Andrew in TX says:

    “Some guy named Harvey Weinstein just called. He says you’re going about this all the wrong way.”

  86. avatar Andrew in Tx says:

    “I knew that dame was trouble from the moment she walked through that door. It didn’t help the situation any when I told her I was partial to Glocks.”

  87. avatar racer88 says:

    Beaver shot.

  88. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “why do you have those two ‘m’s’ tattoed there?”

  89. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “get in here right away. i think i’ve found the weapon and the extra magazine…”

  90. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    ‘it squirts astroglide?”

  91. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “that’s right: mayonnaise, kaopectate, some kaiser broiler foil and a pair of blunt scissiors, pronto. and fill a lunch sack with vaseline, wheat thins, ding dongs and taco sauce.”

  92. avatar Bill M. says:

    Don’t you dare turn away.

  93. avatar Mark Kelly's Diapered Drooling Ventriloquist's Dummy says:

    I’ve shown you the gams now you show me those guns.

  94. avatar Leadslinger says:

    Ms. Danica Roem of Virginia I presume?

  95. avatar Kenroymiller says:

    I tought I saw a puddy tat! I did! I did!

  96. avatar mike oregon says:

    Easy lady, I just suggested breakthrough clean and frog lube for the 1911.

  97. avatar al says:

    She: “Hold the phone!”
    He: “Hold my- the gun!”

  98. avatar Joe C says:

    Hope that’s not a hair trigger!

  99. avatar Joey says:

    The ultimate decocker

  100. avatar Cris Stevens says:

    Funny you should mention ‘boxes’ Sweetheart, I was just talking to the Lieutenant about a box of IMI Systems 9mm range ammo.

  101. avatar Weisbrot says:

    “Put the phone down, Johnny. I’ve got my gat trained right on you.”

    “Not only that, you’re pointing a gun this way too!”

  102. avatar jim says:

    Where do you keep your spare mags?

  103. avatar jwm says:

    A Brazilian wax and some packing tape. No need for fancy and expensive holsters.

  104. avatar DangerDave says:

    “I gotta call you back.. I just found out I’ve been dating a tranny. And she’s packing some heat.”

  105. avatar James shardin says:

    It looks like you’ve caught me without my pistol in this standoff.

  106. avatar Scott says:

    No, Mr Weinstein’s Office is on the 10th floor.

  107. avatar Michael says:

    I never imagined that under there!

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