Weekend Photo Caption Contest

Thanks to Simon & Schuster, this weekend’s photo caption contest features an actual prize — a copy of Scott McEwen’s novel, Sniper Elite: One Way Trip. All captions entered in the comments before midnight Sunday will be eligible, and the winner (chosen by TTAG high command) will be announced on Monday. Here’s S&S’s blurb . . .

IN DIRECT DEFIANCE of the president’s orders, Navy Master Chief Gil Shannon, one of America’s most lethal SEAL snipers, launches a bold mission comprised of SEAL Team Six and Delta Force fighters to free a captured female helicopter pilot being held by Taliban insurgents in Afghanistan.

The president is afraid a botched rescue could jeopardize US foreign policy as well as end his presidency. But once the special ops community learns that one of their own—the first female helicopter pilot of the Army’s elite 160th Special Operations Aviation Regiment (SOAR)—is being held and brutally mistreated, there is no executive order strong enough to stop them from attempting to rescue her.

This fast-paced, action-packed thriller with incredibly realistic and blistering battles introduces a new American hero, Gil Shannon, whose iron will and expertise with the .308 Remington Modular sniper rifle will spell the difference between freedom and an ignoble death for America’s female POW.



  1. avatar Pyratemime says:

    Someone needs to learn to keep their finger off the trigger.

    1. avatar Michael B. says:

      There are guns in the picture?

      1. avatar SnJohnson says:

        I’m not very amused, this isn’t very “Safe for Work” or something I want my kids to see while I’m on my computer.

        1. avatar Lucas D. says:

          I’m not very amused, this isn’t very “Safe for Work” or something I want my kids to see while I’m on my computer.

          Ladies and germs, we have a winner: Funniest Caption Ever!

        2. avatar Joke & Dagger says:

          You should be Girly Man Johnson, not SnJohnson.

        3. avatar 16V says:

          I guess you’ve never been to beach, eh?

        4. avatar Brian Patterson says:

          I’m not very amused by people that are too up tight to enjoy this. Kids? better turn off the TV too then. If I saw dad looking at this on the computer, my first reaction would be respect to his superior taste in women ( 😉 ) and secondly that he’s not a homo. YMMV and probably does.

    2. avatar Hal says:

      A mundane weekend for Dan Zimmerman’s couch…

  2. avatar thatguy says:

    Well, that escalated quickly….

  3. avatar Kirk says:

    My eyes! My eyes!!!

  4. avatar Human Being says:

    “I’ve been bad, and I need a good SWATing.”

  5. avatar William Burke says:

    Olympic Council Adds Nude Sofa Two-Gun Biathlon as sport.

  6. avatar Blehtastic says:

    American models have a much better message than Australian models.

    1. avatar johnnosk says:

      I know a few Australian models who will disagree

      Aussie, Aussie, Aussie… OI! OI! OI!

  7. avatar jwm says:

    RF’s first Texas girlfriend.

    1. avatar benny says:

      Jwm has my vote!

    2. avatar CA.Ben says:


  8. avatar UH60 says:


    1. avatar Matt in FL says:


  9. avatar Jim says:

    ‘Merica. Fuck Yeah!

    The only that can come close to all of the awesomeness in this photo is this shirt:


  10. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    I am so paralyzed by fear I am hardly able to write!

    She has not ONE, but TWO!!!

    Fingers on the on the oh what ever! 😉

  11. avatar Andre says:

    “Come and take it”! OK

    1. avatar Joke & Dagger says:

      Hey! When I left, you were locked in the basement!

    2. avatar Pat says:

      Or, “take it and come”.

  12. avatar Nate says:

    Keep calm and Murica on!

  13. avatar In Memphis says:

    A deleted episode of The Sara Connor Chronicles.

  14. avatar Don says:

    If I had a wedgie up to my armpits I’d want to shoot someone too.

    1. avatar Bruce B. says:


  15. avatar David Maraks says:

    Anybody seen my Fourth of July necktie?

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      I can’t beat that one, made me laugh out loud!

  16. avatar Tim says:

    God bless America

  17. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    Bite me feinswine! Randy

  18. avatar Accur81 says:

    Better hope your pick up line is more witty than offensive.

  19. avatar Philip J. Fry says:

    I’m scaroused!

  20. avatar derek says:

    they can keep their 72 virgins, ‘merica!

  21. avatar daveR says:

    Molon labe

    1. avatar jwm says:

      molon labia?

      1. avatar Accur81 says:

        Best so far! Alas, working for the government has destroyed my creativity.

      2. avatar Ing says:

        Terrible, JWM, terrible. And awesome. Best pun I’ve heard in a long, long time.

        You win. You win…everything.

      3. avatar Matt in Tx says:

        My vote! I love a good/bad pun.

        1. avatar jwm says:

          I’m not bad, I was just drawn that way.

      4. avatar Robert says:


  22. avatar Billy Wardlaw says:

    Hey! Some of us read this blog at work during our breaks! Easy on the TnA.

  23. avatar Ken says:

    Prepared to hold off the east coast and west coast at the same time…

  24. avatar One If By Land says:

    There’s no “I” in “Team America” …..oh wait, there actually is…..

  25. avatar Ralph says:

    Borat’s sister Whoreat wears his bathing suit and shows off her thirty-eights.

  26. avatar OkieRim says:

    No doubt, the IRS will being their probing in 3..2..1

  27. avatar SkyMan77 says:

    I’d like to say something witty but I’m waiting for the blood to return to my brain… 🙂

  28. avatar defensor fortissimo says:

    They told me Justice was blind, they never said she was this gratuitous.

  29. avatar Ensitue says:

    Stripper by day
    Hooker by night
    Posser by afternoon
    That picture is enough to put me off sex
    No, Really there is something very wrong with that body, as if it suffered severe malnutrition at an early age.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Just another skinny chick with artificially inflated chesticles. You must not get out on the interwebz very much…the place is chock full of these disproportionately endowed creatures.

      1. avatar Ensitue says:

        On her best day; still fugly
        and that hair!?
        a certain sign of malnutrition

        1. avatar Robert says:

          …and you have been Gay for how long? lol

    2. avatar 16V says:

      Chick in a swimsuit with a coupla pistols. And this is a big deal why?

  30. avatar Kevin says:

    So the DA is cocked, and the SA isn’t. I hate myself for even noticing that.

    1. avatar Scott says:

      Ha, I noticed the same thing and was going to comment on it. I think I was just protecting my eyes, though, and focusing on whatever else besides …. her?

  31. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    Single action …
    Double action …
    I’m ready for anything.

    (Hint: the lady is holding a single action revolver in one hand and a double action revolver in her other hand.)

    1. avatar Human Being says:

      If you feel you have to explain a joke…

      1. avatar James1000 says:

        His handle IS uncommon sense….

        1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

          Yeah but the double entendre is awesome!

  32. avatar Paul53 says:

    In her disguise, all Muslim men were instantly blinded, thus allowing the special ops unit the time they needed to recue their comrade. An unintended consequence was that hundreds of men renounced the Muslim faith and promised to follow captain “boom boom” jones to the ends of the earth.

  33. avatar James1000 says:

    These go bang if you go pop….

  34. avatar TerryB says:

    Sammich. Make her one.

    1. avatar 16V says:

      Why? So she can get fat and unattractive?

  35. avatar Kenneth Kish says:

    I Pledge allegiance to the flag…..

  36. avatar LongBeach says:

    Pro gun, anti sun.

    Also: when will Borat be home?

  37. avatar Pascal says:

    Putin, wanting to acknowledge the United States role in WWII on Victory day, sent president Obama this picture putting the “V” in Victory day.

  38. avatar Liberty2Alpha says:

    “And the winner of the “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right” resolution contest is…”

  39. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    I’m killing the other guys…your the one that I want RF.

  40. avatar Sammy says:

    Just try to f America.
    The recently crowned un-official Mrs 6 Guns au deuce at home in her off hours.

  41. avatar John O. says:

    Good things come in pairs!

  42. avatar SpeleoFool says:

    You take the blue strap, the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red strap, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

    1. avatar Accur81 says:

      If you snap the strap, kiss your balls goodbye.

  43. avatar SightPicture says:

    “Nobody moves or this poster of James dean and the invisible man gets it!!!!”

    1. avatar Bob says:

      Beat me to it! Damn!

  44. avatar Ipe says:

    Hey Borat…. I make this look good baby!

  45. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Y’all can keep yer left an’ right; I’m likin’ bein’ a centrist!

  46. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Say hello to my little fiends, no way and no how.

  47. avatar Russ Bixby says:


  48. avatar protaganis says:

    The new super tuck holster, so effective you could wear this and conceal these.

  49. avatar Ing says:

    Suddenly the phrase “cocked and loaded” has a whole new meaning.

  50. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Agent Double Entendre…..
    I’m ready for two of you…

  51. avatar RockThisTown says:

    Ted Nugent’s twin sister, Drop Dead Nugent.

  52. avatar SubZ says:

    The range is now HOT!

  53. avatar Rebel says:

    “I’ve got this covered.”

  54. avatar Conrad says:

    So… where’s the rest of her legs?

  55. avatar Bryan says:

    Bill Clinton’s maid finding the Secret Service’s toys in the couch again. Oh when Hillary’s away…….!

    1. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

      WE HAVE A WINNER !!!!!

  56. avatar Steve Case says:

    I’m as red blooded as the next guy but this picture is not appropriate for this blog. In my opinion you crossed the line. Just sayin …

    1. avatar Bryan says:

      Suggest not reading the blog on Fridays, or during SHOT show.

  57. avatar Lance Farago says:

    Why is it the first thing some one post is trigger control? Why not enjoy the beauty of the female form.

  58. avatar Mediocrates says:

    Yup. Still practicing that trigger control.

  59. avatar BLAMMO says:

    “If you’re only thinking about North and South, you’re not paying enough attention to East and West.”

  60. avatar Carlos Cid says:

    “Over my shaved, partially naked body!”

  61. avatar raincrow says:

    Its hammer time.

  62. avatar GS650G says:

    “Only in America”

  63. avatar Big_cowboy74 says:

    The model for the new Statue of Liberty!

  64. avatar IllumFiati says:

    “My strap is red, my other is blue…..I’m a schizophrenic and so am I.”

  65. avatar AaronW says:

    Is this what Blake meant by a fearful symmetry?

  66. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Yes ma’am.

  67. avatar Steve says:

    Control this!

  68. avatar mountainpass says:

    Uncocked single action in left hand:
    Definitive proof the left side doesn’t understand the operation of firearms.

  69. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Cannon to the right; cannon to the left; into the valley of death…

    1. avatar KCK says:

      Looks like just a single six to the left

  70. avatar rcvasquez says:

    “Flip it open and insert cartridge.”

  71. avatar Jason says:

    Single action on the left, double action on the right, and triple action up the middle.

  72. avatar KCK says:

    Yes, every thing is in order.
    Red is on the right.
    Blue is on the left.
    But can’t you see how we come together in the middle.

  73. avatar Charlie says:

    If there’s symbolism beyond girls, guns and country then it’s lost on me, but I confess I like the pic. It looks like one of those stupid things you do at 3 in the morning while you’re having too much fun.


  74. avatar Wes S. says:

    I heard there was this deleted storyline from “24” where Kim joined a militia…

  75. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    you know i think i saw this movie last week on HBO after dark…….what she does with those heaters …ouch
    Lady Gaga prepping for her next gig

  76. avatar OODAloop says:

    My buddy at the bar, over the 7th beer of the night, swore she sported a pair of .44’s but once I got her home it wasn’t more a set of .32’s. Damn beer goggles. The problem is, like in the firearms world, all sales are final…

  77. avatar jwm says:

    Seriously, has this girl ever seen a ray of sunshine? Po child is so pale you can practically see through her. If you held a light behind her it would look like an xray. And the dark glasses. Is she really that sensitive to light? I’m beginning to wonder if this girl casts a reflection in a mirror.

  78. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    “Your mission, should you choose to accept it…”

  79. avatar mikie says:

    This is why you do not let Ted Nugent borrow your double wide trailer for a “couple of hours”.

  80. avatar Mike the Hops Farmer says:

    Lady Liberty kicks off her robes come Friday afternoon!

  81. avatar Mark says:


  82. avatar TJ says:

    Two in the hand is better than one in the bush

    1. avatar 16V says:

      Bush? Did Sherman set the wayback machine for 1975?

  83. avatar Buckeye_gt says:

    ‘Merica: Home of the red, white, and boobs.

  84. avatar cary beshel says:

    You don’t want to know where she keeps her speed loaders.


    Red, White, and Poon!

  85. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    “Hey Mister! Have you seen my holsters?”

  86. avatar Casey T says:

    Foreplay Texas style.

  87. avatar Matt in SD says:

    I’m gonna blow you away.

  88. avatar Kamin says:

    Wasn’t this the back of the Texas state quarter?

  89. avatar Aharon says:

    Serving in today’s military which exists to serve the selfish interests of the fascists elites is immoral.

    As for the caption:
    ‘Get a damn sunlamp girl as you look white as death’

  90. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    I fu<king RULE the night.

  91. avatar SAS 2008 says:

    People still shoot revolvers?

  92. avatar Eric says:

    I always wondered what a female Yosemite Sam would be like………” oooooh, my britches are burning, I’m a gonna get that varmint! “

  93. avatar Paco says:

    And as a special thank you for renewing your NRA membership we’ll send you this limited “Patriot’s Edition” Tactical Thong at no additional cost!

  94. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Captain Americas arch nemesis. Vampire by night, porn star by day.

  95. avatar ScottsCove says:

    The Future Mrs. Dan Zimmerman in her Courtship pose.

  96. avatar X5GEE says:

    needs a tan!

  97. avatar Daniel says:

    Who needs a real camel when there’s plenty of toe to go around!!!

  98. avatar SGC says:






    ALL RISE for the singing of our National Anthem.

    Either way, hawtness!

  99. avatar 5spot says:

    Um, what is the safe word again?

    1. avatar Tom in Oregon says:


  100. avatar andrew says:

    where’s them legs…?

  101. avatar jwm says:

    What happens in Vegas, used to stay in Vegas. Until the coming of the internet.

  102. avatar Kevin says:

    Captain Boob’Merica

  103. avatar johnnosk says:

    Meanwhile, at my place!

    Another Saturday night special

  104. avatar Seth says:

    Ted Nugents’ dream date

  105. avatar Lucas D. says:

    Welp, thanks to the new Bikini Commando Barbie, now we know how Ken lost his junk.

  106. avatar Pat says:

    Patriotic dental floss.

  107. avatar Historian says:

    She’s printing.

  108. avatar RAN58 says:

    The dangers of not tanning. You will not blend in with your environment.

  109. avatar Hawkman says:

    Guess where I keep my speed loaders, cowboy?

  110. avatar Beanz says:

    “How SEAL Team Six really got into bin Laden’s compound”

  111. avatar Nick says:

    It’s a “V” for Victory!

  112. avatar TX Gun Gal says:

    Just scrolled down to make comment to avoid juvenile comments from grown men.
    She looks like a corpse. I don’t object to scantily clad photos of women,
    but this one is just ugly. Does nothing to attract women shooters to your site.
    I’m going to go look at the Lantana flowers growing in our front yard to get the picture out of my mind before I throw up.

    1. avatar Lucas D. says:

      It’s a caption contest, Dr. Hawking, not a fashion critique. How about making a juvenile comment of your own and actually being, y’know, entertaining?

      1. avatar Robert says:

        +1 for Lucas

  113. avatar Not says:

    Okay, which one of you @sshats thought a couple of 3″ straps up my buttcrack was a good idea?

  114. avatar Zahooee says:

    Dude…Where’s my clothes?

  115. avatar Greg Hampton says:

    I think I need to frisk her in case she is carrying concealed.

  116. avatar Rob says:

    It’s disrespectful to wear the flag as a bathing suit, she needs to remove it right now and go to my room.

  117. avatar RockThisTown says:

    Will she fit in a 3D printer?

  118. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    Where can I get a 3D printer and the CAD files that made that result?!?!?!?

  119. avatar DH2 says:

    Whoa! Nice pair of 38s!

  120. Drumroll please. And the winner is….

    5spot, for this gem:

    Um, what is the safe word again?

    Thanks for playing. Tune in again next week.

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