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  1. Indian: We need to have Gun Control. Let us just smoke the peace pipe and throw away your long gun.

    Old Timer: I knew you were a liberal the minute I laid my eyes on you. You now have 2 choices. A. Take that pipe and shove it where the son don’t sign and blow smoke up your own ass. B. I will take me here long gun and stick it where your sun don’t shine and fire.

  2. “Too old to continue the fight, the men sat in the chairs their grandsons had provided, staring at each other for three years……”

  3. “It’s just a big f…ing headache,” says the old man.

    As the medicine man sits, he offers, “try some of this. Grows everywhere. No worries after.”

  4. Showing off his Davidoff pipe and Brooks Brothers suit, Chief Baccarat negotiates for permission to open a casino on Farmer Brown’s land.

  5. “White man, I not even smoked this pipe yet, and I say you have nice purse.”
    “Go ahead, call my powder satchell a purse one more time…”

  6. Son, Dayglo orange ain’t tacticool and the 5th Alabama would laugh you out of the State, never mind the regiment …

  7. “You think YOU were here first? Sure, I may smoke a pipe, but nothing I puff can make me that dumb.”

    “I… have a beard.”

  8. “Ever tell you about my great-grandpappy? Name of Lewis Wetzel – your folks called him Death Wind. He never smoked no peace pipe.”

  9. We smoke’em peace pipe!! Then we go get’um stuff for the munchies!!! Then we sit and watch TV; whatever that is!!!!


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