Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win an OTIS Patriot Series Breach to Muzzle 9mm Pistol Cleaning Kit

The winner of last week’s contest was James Earl Hoffa. This week’s winner will win an OTIS Patriot Series Breach to Muzzle 9mm pistol cleaning kit. Just enter the best caption for this photo in the comments by Sunday midnight.


  1. avatar Kevin P says:

    Ohhhhhhh myyyyy!

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      You just *had* to go there, didn’t you?

      (You beat me to it!)

      OK, my entry:

      “Mine’s longer and harder than that…”

      1. avatar jwm says:

        Mine is better. “Ohhh Myyy, look at that stiff barrel there. So glad it’s not a snubbie.”

      2. avatar Tom in OregonM says:

        Yup. First to comment and he went there. (I actually heard it as I read it)

      3. avatar Kevin P says:

        That’s one of my favorite episodes from the original series too

    2. avatar Chris Heuss says:

      Howard Stern listener?

    3. avatar Madcapp says:

      Me love you…long time.

    4. avatar Rattlerjake says:

      “This is my pistol, this is my gun,
      This is for killin’, this is for fun”

  2. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    Don’t let the rev olver fool you, you’re totally barking up the wrong tree here, sister.

    1. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

      I wonder if they make these in pink…

  3. avatar Hidden Hills says:

    Uh-Oh. Redshirt. We know what’s gonna happen…

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Well, we know what’s not going to happen with Sulu as her companion. I guess they can do each others hair.

        1. avatar jwm says:

          I know, I know. Red shirts always die. Except for Scotty. But if memory serves she was killed and then brought back. The planet granted everybody’s wish.

        2. avatar Snatchums says:

          Spock dies at the end of Wrath of KAAAAAAAAAHN! in an engineering disaster, not Scotty.

    2. That’s not a red shirt. That’s a red dress. Uhura wore a red dress and she outlived Spock.
      Is that Mariette Hartley? God I had the biggest crush on her. Genie, Samantha, Mary Anne, and Mariette Hartley.

  4. avatar AaronW says:

    “Still looking for that loaded chamber indicator, Sulu?”

  5. avatar No one of consequence says:

    Is this thing legal in New New York?

  6. avatar The Rookie says:

    “I think you pull the hammer back for the stun setting.”

    1. avatar The Rookie says:

      “Fortunately for Kirk, Samantha was able to remove the firing pin with a twitch of her nose.”

  7. avatar Tom in OregonM says:

    “It’s like my p3nis, only this one doesn’t shoot blanks”

  8. avatar jwm says:

    “I bet I can get spit on the rear sight before you can.”

  9. avatar Forrest Davis says:

    If we only had a 30 mag clippazine for this, we might get off this rock alive.

  10. avatar Rim fire freak says:

    Look it’s a manual… how quaint…

  11. avatar jwm says:

    “Better than a rape whistle, ensign.”

  12. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    Okay Mr. Sulu, but I’m not cleaning it when you’re done!

  13. avatar Bernard says:

    My boyfriend also uses it during roleplay.

    1. avatar Bernard says:

      Here’s another one: Let’s go chase some exotic bugs!

  14. avatar phauxtoe says:

    “Of course I can hide the whole thing, its called concealed carry”

  15. avatar Dave says:

    You better file down that front sight first, Mr Sulu.

    1. avatar Bernard says:


  16. avatar OldLawProf says:

    Gun? What gun?

  17. avatar Stan says:

    “My! That’s a big one!”

  18. avatar Richard Veil says:

    “I like it Sulu. Can I hold it?”

  19. avatar Jack Bartky says:

    Oh myyy, look how shiny!

  20. avatar jetsman says:

    Sulu, I want some of that action!

  21. avatar Lucas D. says:

    “Say, uh, just where’ve you been keeping that thing, Sulu?”

    “Oh my, I’m so glad you asked!”

  22. avatar dw54 says:

    This is sweeter than a girl in a tight red dress!

  23. avatar pieslapper says:

    Redshirt: “Why does it smell?”

    Sulu: “I lost my holster and had to ‘deep conceal’.”

    Redshirt: “Oh, is that what they call it now?”

    1. avatar Bernard says:

      lol. Did you eat corn last night?

      1. avatar Bob says:

        ^ Damn, now that made me laugh ???

  24. avatar JohnB says:

    “Would you believe that in a previous incarnation I didn’t think people should be allowed to own these?”

  25. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I hope your fingers aren’t tickling my ivory handled colt.”

  26. avatar Matthew Ezell says:

    “That’s a nice pistol you have there, Sulu.”

    “Oh myyy”

  27. avatar AFGus says:

    You know what Ensign Hotty…..someday these things are going to get me a lot of gay Twitter followers!

  28. avatar Anonymous says:

    Beep beep! Sulu to Captain Kirk. In the last 10 minutes I’ve determined I’m super gay, hate freedom, and I’ve just found out what political direction I’m going to pursue to have some things banned.

  29. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Ohh myyyy! I don’t know about two in the pink ensign, but I’ve definitely got one for the stink.”

  30. avatar Dredd says:

    Going to Kill some Stinkin VC!!!!

    1. avatar The Duke says:

      I hope you win with this!

  31. avatar Michael says:

    First I am going to play with this, and then with those…..

    1. avatar neiowa says:

      I assume you’re not familiar with the “body of work” of George Takei. The female ensign need fear no attention from that pixie.

  32. avatar rt66paul says:

    All I need now is some chaps and boots, then I can go get me a cowboy!

  33. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    Does it have a stun setting before I use it so it doesn’t actually kill anyone or hurt so much if we just use it for fun!!

  34. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I wanna be a cowboy… “

  35. avatar Bad-Timing says:

    That’s a cute phaser, but can I show you my blazer?

  36. avatar DrewR55 says:

    “I keep this in case I run into a Gorn.”

  37. avatar Model 31 says:

    “The North Koreans carried these back when they were still around.”

  38. avatar Boz says:

    One day in the “Past” I am going to start this thing called “One Pulse for America”, to save planet Earth. Until then I love guns and $$$$, plus we are light years away.

  39. avatar nyglockowner says:

    “I’m very satisfied with Smith’s 6-inch.”

  40. “Ohhhh myyyyy, does it take Glock mags?”

  41. “Ensign, I like guns that can be…Cocked…”

  42. avatar strych9 says:

    Oh man, I’m just gonna keep my trap shut on this one.

    1. avatar strych9 says:

      Nah, screw it.

      Sulu: “Hey, Redshirt, in 2017 I’ll have at least four things in common with this wheelgun. Can you guess what they are?”

      Redshirt: “Um… old, gay and outdated but with a rabid following of people who should probably know better?”

      Spock (offscreen): “Oooooooooo… burn!”

      1. avatar jwm says:

        I knew if I just waited you’d bust out.

  43. avatar Ironhead says:

    See i told you it was a gun in my pocket! Now go away!

  44. avatar Peter says:

    ‘Hmm. I think I’m gonna suck it, I just cannot resist this shape.’ Would be most appropriate in case of this idiot and I hope he would, just to shut his garbage hole. 😀

  45. avatar jwm says:

    Good enough to bring a knight off the back of his horse.

  46. avatar Bostonirish14 says:

    So this is the thing that could have prevented the rounding up of Japanese people in America after pearl harbor? Nah i dont want it, I always wanted to go to summer camp!

    1. avatar Cloudbuster says:

      I’m sure violent resistance by the Japanese would have turned out well.

      You know, they weren’t disarmed. Gun laws at the time were extremely permissive. You could buy a rifle mail order, straight out of the Sears catalog.

  47. avatar Ralph says:

    Oh myyyyyyy. I think I’ll share this with Milo Yiannopoulos.

  48. avatar Cj says:

    Good times…

    What is?

    Killing VC…

  49. avatar JDH says:

    Happiness…is a warm gun (bang bang shoot shoot) happiness…. is a warm gun (bang bang shoot shoot)

  50. avatar skiff says:

    Wow, nice! It’s against the law to own this where i come from.

  51. avatar Somebody Special says:

    I don’t really know how this works but, I know where to stick it.

  52. avatar NJ_Doc says:

    “Warp speed Mr. Sulu”

  53. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Ohh myyyy! I think it’s .45 loooong colt!”

  54. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Ooooohhh! This will match my chaps perfectly! “

  55. avatar EU says:

    “Wait, you think I’m trying to compensate for something?”

  56. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Gene said this gig was about done. I wonder if the Village People are hiring?”

  57. avatar pieslapper says:

    Gays In Spaaaaace!

  58. avatar tfunk says:

    Hmm…I could probably use this to keep myself out of an internment camp, but that might be considered a macro-aggression. Plus, I can get a $50 Target card for it…totes worth it!

  59. avatar tmm says:

    I tell you, yeoman, carry this and you’ll feel safer, considering all the Don Juans running around here…

  60. avatar jwm says:

    “Hoppe’s number 9. Ohhhh Myyyyy, no. K-Y number 2.”

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “Hoppe’s number 9 works much better than Preparation H…”

  61. avatar JoeVK says:

    Me love you long time.

  62. avatar Eric says:

    It doesn’t have a shoulder thing that goes up? That means it’s legal for me to have.

  63. avatar TyrannyOfEvilMen says:

    Hmmm… I COULD caption this photo, but then I would be banned from the site… /;-)

  64. avatar BLAMMO says:

    “Uh oh. It’s got a Hillary Hole. Any ideas what I’m supposed to do with that?”

  65. avatar Hippi says:

    “Am I good with it hell I’ll pick a tribble off a romulans nose at 25ft.

  66. avatar Darrell KS says:

    The Bang Switch does bring happiness.

  67. avatar David says:

    “Mr. Sulu? Is that gun blue on your lips?”

    1. avatar David says:

      “Mr. Sulu? Is that a gun blue stain on your seat?”

  68. avatar JohnTX says:

    Sulu, you’re breaking two of the four laws of gun safety. But then again you’re used to looking down the barrel, so, yeah….

  69. avatar JohnS says:

    “See? Here’s proof I wasn’t always insane!”

  70. avatar SouthAl says:

    To boldly go where no man has gone before…

  71. avatar GRC says:

    Why did we stop using these again?

  72. avatar SouthAl says:

    To boldly go where man has gone before.

  73. avatar Bullslinger says:

    I know Kirk showed you his last week.

  74. avatar Toby Johnson says:

    Let’s see if that antique phonebook will stop a bullet from this antique gun

  75. avatar David says:

    I wish he’d look at me like he looks at that gun!

  76. avatar Keith M says:

    Oooooooh Myyyy. Looks Like I did only fire 5.

  77. avatar Freaktastic says:

    Your bullet bra is more enticicing than the blanks in this revolver.

  78. avatar Andy says:

    “Suuuuuuuluuuuuuuuu, …. Looks like it’s time for some Breach to Muzzle cleaning…….
    ……..what do you mean NOT Interested !?!?”

  79. avatar TheAce90 says:

    Sure a phaser set to stun
    Can be a lot of fun
    But when an alien has me on the run
    I’m reaching for my gun, hun

  80. avatar SteveX says:

    Wow! Perky! You know you were thinking it…

  81. avatar WiscoDave says:

    Happiness is a warm gun. Bang, bang. Shoot, shoot.

  82. avatar LonesomeCrow says:

    George Takei remembers what it’s like to not be a liberal.

  83. avatar FulMetlJakit says:

    “Wowzers! Guess what they say about Asians at Academy isn’t always true…!”

  84. avatar I1ULUZ says:

    Red dress Ensign: My husband has always wanted one like that.

    Mr. Sulu: MINE TOO!!!!

    What John Wayne movie was George in?

    1. avatar jwm says:

      The Green Berets. Classic hollywood casting. A Japanese cast as a Hanoi born Vietnamese.

  85. avatar Cabron says:

    We don’t know what that thing is and he is paying more attention to it than to my breasts. But why? Why doesn’t he notice them? Why?

  86. avatar Phil LA says:

    Nuclear wessels… i just like saying it.

  87. avatar jimmy james says:

    Happiness really is a warm gun.

  88. avatar engineear says:

    I like holding the “butt” end.

  89. avatar IdahoBoy says:

    Has no idea what to do with either one.

  90. avatar jwm says:

    “Mr. Sulu. My name is Valerie. Why do you keep calling me Ensign Ricky?”

  91. avatar Joe says:

    Hmm might be an old sex toy. see i fit in the cylinder

  92. ” but the Captain had to make his out of Bamboo and Vine”

  93. avatar Stu in AZ says:

    I’m a cocks, not Glocks guy, but this is sexy!

  94. avatar Robert Alexander says:

    If this antique still fires, it could be worth a lot of money!

  95. avatar Jay says:

    Ohhhhh my, I thought you had said model 69

  96. avatar Mike Bawin says:

    Get your finger off the trigger unless you are gonna pull it.
    Didn’t your momma teach you anything?

  97. avatar AlanInFL says:

    That’s something I can wrap my hands around.

  98. avatar jwm says:

    The K frame. Stopping gay bashing since the 23rd century.

  99. avatar Lawdawg04 says:

    “I am happy to see you, but see…it really was just a gun in my pocket.”

  100. avatar Tarrant says:

    “Perfect. Now when we go back to save those whales, I can take care of Trump.”

  101. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Ohhh myyy…now I’ve got two guns… one for each of you!”

  102. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Jerk that pistol and go to work?….Indeeed!”

  103. avatar Joe Maffei says:

    “I can finally get rid of the captain !!!!”

  104. avatar Rimfire says:

    Scotty, when you beam me up this time, pu-lease don’t end up in the closet again or I’ll pop a cap on you ass

  105. avatar Bobo says:

    That’s funny, I can’t find a stun setting.

  106. avatar CBI says:

    *This* is why I don’t wear a red shirt.

  107. avatar Jonathan Hollifield says:

    “Where do you attach the flashlight?”

  108. avatar Michael B. says:

    Lay weeks winner was Jimmy Hoffa ?

  109. avatar Curtis says:

    Anything is a dildo if you’re brave enough.

  110. avatar Justin Stuever says:

    Yippee ki yay motha fuckas

  111. avatar Rebecca says:

    You”d better have dinner and a show planned before any other “gun” gets holstered and fired.

  112. avatar Gregolas says:

    “Yeoperson Ripley, if all else fails, THIS’LL stop those Aliens!

  113. avatar Bart says:

    he’s got more than 10 reasons why a gun is better than a woman…

  114. avatar JC says:

    My husband had a gun just like that. Oh my, mine too.

  115. avatar Bryce Canyon says:

    “Is this what they used to call a gerbil?”

  116. avatar jwm says:

    Sulu and the Transgendered Ensign Ricky discuss mastering the gag reflex. Only way to get a promotion on Kirks Enterprise.

  117. avatar Aaron says:

    –what did you use? A .38? –.38. .39…what ever it took

  118. avatar Kevin Summers says:

    “I’m 20 for 20 playing Russian Roulette with the red shirts!”

  119. avatar Chris T in KY says:

    Well! Did I fire six shots? Or only 5? Do you feel lucky punk!!

  120. avatar J says:

    “Ive got a special place for this”

  121. avatar Dan T. says:

    Samurai my ass! Bring it on.

  122. avatar Ben F. from Florida says:

    “Yes my dear, Gun Control is hitting the Klingons you are aiming at.”

  123. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I wonder if Gunsmoke could use a fabulous Asian cowboy?”

  124. avatar pieslapper says:

    “OK Chekov, say nuclear wessels one more time…”

  125. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Tell you what ensign. I’ll trade you this for the corset and those fabulous pumps you picked up on Deneb VI. Whattya say?”

  126. avatar James69 says:

    I feel strange holding this, my you have beautiful eyes…………

  127. avatar Ronnie says:

    “Oh wow, now I know the fantastic feeling the people of the 20th century felt when they held one of these”.

    Caption for the woman:

    ‘Thinking’….”Okay..okay…okay…let me hold it!”

  128. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Okay, okay ensign! Quit begging and I’ll let you shoot it. You might want to clean it first though, there appears to be some uhhh… ‘foreign matter’ lodged in the barrel.”

  129. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “it’s a santorum extruder.”

  130. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “the phasers are too fragile to administer a proper pistol whipping, so we carry these too.”

  131. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “my grandfather used it to keep snow monkeys out of his jacuzzi.”

  132. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “it says ‘tamaribuchi butt plug inserter.’ you can borrow it as soon as i’m done.”

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