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The winner of last week’s contest was James Earl Hoffa. This week’s winner will win an OTIS Patriot Series Breach to Muzzle 9mm pistol cleaning kit. Just enter the best caption for this photo in the comments by Sunday midnight.

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  1. Don’t let the rev olver fool you, you’re totally barking up the wrong tree here, sister.

    • “Fortunately for Kirk, Samantha was able to remove the firing pin with a twitch of her nose.”

  2. If we only had a 30 mag clippazine for this, we might get off this rock alive.

  3. “Say, uh, just where’ve you been keeping that thing, Sulu?”

    “Oh my, I’m so glad you asked!”

  4. Redshirt: “Why does it smell?”

    Sulu: “I lost my holster and had to ‘deep conceal’.”

    Redshirt: “Oh, is that what they call it now?”

  5. “Would you believe that in a previous incarnation I didn’t think people should be allowed to own these?”

  6. You know what Ensign Hotty…..someday these things are going to get me a lot of gay Twitter followers!

  7. Beep beep! Sulu to Captain Kirk. In the last 10 minutes I’ve determined I’m super gay, hate freedom, and I’ve just found out what political direction I’m going to pursue to have some things banned.

  8. “Ohh myyyy! I don’t know about two in the pink ensign, but I’ve definitely got one for the stink.”

    • I assume you’re not familiar with the “body of work” of George Takei. The female ensign need fear no attention from that pixie.

  9. Does it have a stun setting before I use it so it doesn’t actually kill anyone or hurt so much if we just use it for fun!!

  10. One day in the “Past” I am going to start this thing called “One Pulse for America”, to save planet Earth. Until then I love guns and $$$$, plus we are light years away.

    • Nah, screw it.

      Sulu: “Hey, Redshirt, in 2017 I’ll have at least four things in common with this wheelgun. Can you guess what they are?”

      Redshirt: “Um… old, gay and outdated but with a rabid following of people who should probably know better?”

      Spock (offscreen): “Oooooooooo… burn!”

  11. ‘Hmm. I think I’m gonna suck it, I just cannot resist this shape.’ Would be most appropriate in case of this idiot and I hope he would, just to shut his garbage hole. 😀

  12. So this is the thing that could have prevented the rounding up of Japanese people in America after pearl harbor? Nah i dont want it, I always wanted to go to summer camp!

    • I’m sure violent resistance by the Japanese would have turned out well.

      You know, they weren’t disarmed. Gun laws at the time were extremely permissive. You could buy a rifle mail order, straight out of the Sears catalog.

  13. Happiness…is a warm gun (bang bang shoot shoot) happiness…. is a warm gun (bang bang shoot shoot)

  14. “Gene said this gig was about done. I wonder if the Village People are hiring?”

  15. Hmm…I could probably use this to keep myself out of an internment camp, but that might be considered a macro-aggression. Plus, I can get a $50 Target card for it…totes worth it!

  16. I tell you, yeoman, carry this and you’ll feel safer, considering all the Don Juans running around here…

  17. It doesn’t have a shoulder thing that goes up? That means it’s legal for me to have.

  18. Hmmm… I COULD caption this photo, but then I would be banned from the site… /;-)

  19. “Uh oh. It’s got a Hillary Hole. Any ideas what I’m supposed to do with that?”

  20. Sulu, you’re breaking two of the four laws of gun safety. But then again you’re used to looking down the barrel, so, yeah….

  21. Let’s see if that antique phonebook will stop a bullet from this antique gun

  22. “Suuuuuuuluuuuuuuuu, …. Looks like it’s time for some Breach to Muzzle cleaning…….
    ……..what do you mean NOT Interested !?!?”

  23. Sure a phaser set to stun
    Can be a lot of fun
    But when an alien has me on the run
    I’m reaching for my gun, hun

  24. “Wowzers! Guess what they say about Asians at Academy isn’t always true…!”

  25. Red dress Ensign: My husband has always wanted one like that.

    Mr. Sulu: MINE TOO!!!!

    What John Wayne movie was George in?

    • The Green Berets. Classic hollywood casting. A Japanese cast as a Hanoi born Vietnamese.

  26. We don’t know what that thing is and he is paying more attention to it than to my breasts. But why? Why doesn’t he notice them? Why?

  27. Get your finger off the trigger unless you are gonna pull it.
    Didn’t your momma teach you anything?

  28. Scotty, when you beam me up this time, pu-lease don’t end up in the closet again or I’ll pop a cap on you ass

  29. Sulu,
    You”d better have dinner and a show planned before any other “gun” gets holstered and fired.

  30. Sulu and the Transgendered Ensign Ricky discuss mastering the gag reflex. Only way to get a promotion on Kirks Enterprise.

  31. “Yes my dear, Gun Control is hitting the Klingons you are aiming at.”

  32. “Tell you what ensign. I’ll trade you this for the corset and those fabulous pumps you picked up on Deneb VI. Whattya say?”

  33. “Oh wow, now I know the fantastic feeling the people of the 20th century felt when they held one of these”.

    Caption for the woman:

    ‘Thinking’….”Okay..okay…okay…let me hold it!”

  34. “Okay, okay ensign! Quit begging and I’ll let you shoot it. You might want to clean it first though, there appears to be some uhhh… ‘foreign matter’ lodged in the barrel.”

  35. “the phasers are too fragile to administer a proper pistol whipping, so we carry these too.”

  36. “it says ‘tamaribuchi butt plug inserter.’ you can borrow it as soon as i’m done.”

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