Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win Swab-Its Gun-Tips Cleaning Swabs

Srirachapocalypse took last week’s prize. This week’s winner will win a package of Swab-Its Gun-Tips cleaning swabs. Just enter your best caption for this photo in the comments by Sunday at midnight. Good luck.


  1. avatar Gerard says:

    Im enjoying holding this gun way too much

  2. avatar Andrew Lias says:

    Who are you shooting with that crystal radio?

  3. avatar Gregolas says:

    Will this laser rifle work on Jedi, Hermione ?

  4. avatar James Earl Hoffa says:

    Dammit Jim I’m a doctor not a sex therapist.

  5. avatar RocketJSquirell says:

    Darling, if I’ve told you once I’ve told you a thousand times. It’s not an assault ray gun, it’s a modern sporting ray gun!!!

  6. avatar AlanInFL says:

    Are you that Captain, who’s a jerk that in a car seat?

  7. avatar Erik says:

    Sorry Jim his barrel IS much bigger than yours

  8. avatar TTAG Intelligentsia says:

    “I’ve seen bigger”

  9. avatar OkieRim says:

    Sally Kellerman … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sally_Kellerman….she is 80 now and I think she aged very well.

    MASH (The Orig Movie, plus others)

    1. avatar IYearn4nARnCali says:

      Hot Lips Houlahan, what a lovely lady.

      Quote from Trapper John McEntyre of MASH, “S ex S ex I want S ex, no not that one!, THAT ONE, the sultry b it ch with the FIRE in her eyes, bring her to me!”

  10. avatar jetsman says:

    Rub me the wrong way and I’ll give you such a BLAST! Rub me the right way and I’ll give you such a BLAST!

  11. avatar SKP5885 says:

    The original orgasmo ray gun. Clearly he had a ND….and she couldn’t be happier!

  12. avatar dw54 says:

    Look at him hold that gun, he used to hold me like that!

  13. avatar Lewis Byron Chatellier Jr says:

    I told you I’m sorry Jim… If you could do a better job of playing with and pleasuring me I wouldn’t have had to taken your raygun batteries… Geesh get over it

  14. avatar jwm says:

    Vibrate? I thought phasers only had kill and stun settings.

  15. avatar jwm says:

    No robot maids. No flying cars. But we got fusion powered sex toys. The human race will never change.

  16. avatar Eric says:

    Should I tell him that the batteries in his smart gun are dead?

  17. avatar jwm says:

    Damn Fembots.

  18. avatar tmm says:

    Any more “espers” wanna get cute?

  19. avatar Scott says:

    This new fangled toilet plunger will get ya goin’ again.

  20. Barbarella’s first mission.

  21. avatar Keith in Ohio says:

    Jim, What a big phaser you have!

  22. “Ensign Taylor, have you seen the D batteries for my ray gun? Ensign…?”

  23. “Is my phaser or my last purchase from Bed, Bath, & Beyond?”

  24. “Well -Ensign- my Tiberius- is-in trouble -over your-Tribble”
    –in my best Kirk cadence

  25. avatar JDH says:

    I want sex. That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes…

  26. avatar Hititandquitit says:

    Phaser set to vibration.. Aren’t you glad I invested in the triple d batteries

  27. avatar Nine says:

    “Oh no! The sonic vibration gun isn’t working!”

    “I beg to differ…”

  28. avatar Tina says:

    “must….learn…..how….to turn safety off”

  29. avatar Craig Moore says:

    Do you think your great, great, great, great, great, great, great Grandma “Hot Lips” could’a used this gun?

  30. avatar pieslapper says:


  31. avatar larrylarry says:

    300 years ago they had to take a blue PILL! Can you believe THAT??

  32. avatar Bullslinger says:

    And Lt. Yumm, when you flip this switch and pull the trigger the belly button lent is cleanly removed.

  33. avatar jwm says:

    Shirt ripping off in 3…2….1

  34. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    *gasp* What do you mean, you didn’t feel my neuro-modulation pulse?

  35. avatar CalGunsMD says:

    No pistol grip conspicuously protruding beneath the action. So, yes, it is California compliant.

  36. avatar Andy says:

    Go on….Shoulder that pistol, James…. Show the BATFE who’s Captain of the Starfleet. You’re rebellious ways arouse me.

    1. avatar CalGunsMD says:

      I bow to you, sir.

  37. avatar Johannes Paulsen says:


  38. avatar CalGunsMD says:

    Rule #2….. Rule NUMBER TWO!!!

  39. avatar Hippi says:

    Hold it right there I got three times the regular amount of caulk here do you want to risk it punk?

  40. avatar Lucas D. says:

    Enjoying it, my dear? It’s a… portable version. I picked it up from a… gentleman named… Durand Durand.

    1. avatar Timmy! says:

      And our password will be… Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

  41. avatar CalGunsMD says:

    Jesus, Jim. You hold that thing like a neanderthal with cerebal palsy.

  42. avatar jwm says:

    Phaser? Hell no. This is the latest in 8 track tech. Gotta get my Barry White on.

  43. avatar jwm says:

    Phaser? Hell no. This is the latest in 8 track tech. Gotta get my Barry White on.

  44. avatar LGB says:

    Warning Warning – the Ensign wants more from the pulse vibrator zapper.

  45. avatar Charlie says:

    Exhibit A. lol


  46. avatar Sam Wright says:

    I hope this BFG 9000 has a god mode setting.

  47. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Captain…did you seriously just ask me to hand you a clip?”

  48. avatar MLee says:

    I hope they got the shot Bill because I can’t see a damn thing with these darn contacts.

  49. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    Well, I think the cup thing goes up against your nipples and the bottle screws to the bottom of this trigger switch thing and you stick the bottles in the fridge for later.

  50. avatar anonymoose says:

    Set phasers to romance!

  51. avatar AaronW says:

    “Ditch your Gorn-gun for a phaser, and watch the ladies swoon…”

  52. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    “Hold it right there Spock… I don’t know what pon farr means, but the way you’re looking at us is making me nervous.”

  53. avatar GeeMan says:

    “Before we go where no man has gone before, we must deal with the Klingons circling Uranus!”

  54. avatar J says:

    “Green chicks dig the big ones”

  55. avatar Big Bill says:

    Is this really Captain Kirk’s pocket dump???

  56. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “good thing she enjoys that… how did they figure out that human breast milk kills tribbles, anyhow?”

  57. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “if i can get this suction cup to attach to the drone’s camera lens we’ll be able to pick up right where we left off.”

  58. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “look at all of those unblended mojitos! good thing i brought the osterizer.”

  59. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “pretend you’re a tree, maybe they won’t notice us.”

  60. avatar jwm says:

    An unaired episode of “Love Boat”.

  61. avatar Rimfire says:

    Don’t worry Sally, I brought the Taurus so we are safe

  62. avatar almostesq says:

    Set phasers to fun!

  63. avatar ed says:

    Hand it back to me when your done darling, it makes a delightfull buzz whial it recharges.

  64. avatar Bewater says:

    “Oooh oooh, now shoot ME with the Breast Enhancer 3000!”

  65. avatar Duane Powell says:

    James! Your heater gives me shivers!

  66. avatar jwm says:

    If this starship is rocking, don’t come knocking.

  67. avatar peirsonb says:

    Baby, you’ve got my phaser set to stunning.

  68. avatar Rebecca says:

    Jim, that is not the gun I had in mind.

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