Weekend Photo Caption Contest – Win a Flambeau Zerust Vapor Capsule

Last week’s best caption was contributed by was pieslapper. This week’s winner will win a Flambeau Zerust Vapor Capsule for their safe or range bag to keep their guns pristine. Just enter the best caption for this photo in the comments by midnight Sunday to win. Good luck.


  1. avatar No one of consequence says:

    So, deputy … how many shots you reckon it’ll take to “recoil” myself to the washroom?

  2. avatar AaronW says:

    “If you want my fancy Mayberry Terrain Map, you’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

  3. avatar jwm says:

    I’m so sorry, Barney! I grabbed my rifle instead of my guitar. That’s going to leave a mark.

    Chicks dig scars.

  4. avatar AaronW says:

    “Leverguns are a toy for the casual shooter”

  5. avatar Bostonirish14 says:

    Yes this is the complaint department, can I help you?

  6. avatar Amfivena says:

    Put the bullet back in your pocket, Barney. No… No! Barney, just put it back. There ya go…good boy!

  7. avatar Gov. William J Le Petomane says:

    You’ve got to ask yourself one question; do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?

  8. avatar Paul53 says:

    I stopped my meds and now it’s so clear to me. Wait till Barney’s in the door and pew, right between the eyes.

  9. avatar jwm says:

    My hippy shooting rifle and ass kicking boots. It’s going to be a great day in Mayberry.

  10. avatar Mr.Savage says:

    oops! now you know why I never carry!

  11. avatar George Steele says:

    This ain’t the Ninth Circuit; my decisions don’t get reversed . . .

    1. avatar Chadwick says:


  12. avatar Adam says:

    “Now do the other boot.”

  13. Naw. They ain’t no locks on that cell. Now-now j-just keep the door shut a-and we ain’t gonna have any problems. Is we?

  14. avatar Rimfire says:

    Barney, I’ma goin’ to get the big loop lever just like my buddy the Rifleman and the Duke, K?

  15. avatar Tom in OregonM says:

    “I’ll be your huckleberry”

  16. avatar jwm says:

    Aint B had better not mess up the apple pie one more time.

    1. Remember the pickles episode?

  17. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    Ok, Barney I’m just done with stupid and I’m Sheriff so no one is going to question how you died!!

  18. avatar TomD says:

    Not too scary with the hammer down…

  19. avatar HiddenHills says:

    I could be fishing….but NOooooo, you had to go and do that.

    1. avatar Chadwick says:

      The long nooooo is so Andy. Golf clap to you.

  20. avatar HiddenHills says:

    I could be fishing……but NOoooo…. you had to go and do that.

  21. avatar Defens says:

    Nobody needs an assault rifle! Buy a lever action! Kick back in the easy chair and fire two blasts!

  22. avatar JDH says:

    Drop the shotgun Biden. No warning shots allowed in Mayberry.

  23. avatar Chadwick says:

    “How Mayberry greets hippies and city folk”

    Or “Mount Pilot’s the other other way!”

  24. avatar Brak Smith says:

    “If you stop her before she finishes, I’ll do more than cock this lever.”

  25. avatar Roymond says:

    “The sign says ‘closed’. But since you’re here, just have a cell.”

  26. avatar Roymond says:

    “Just go on back out, now. And make sure you wipe your shoes.”

  27. avatar AFGus says:

    Tell me that the 2nd Amendment isn’t a right “one more time”!

  28. avatar TyrannyOfEvilMen says:

    “Welcome to Mayberry!”

  29. avatar TyrannyOfEvilMen says:

    “Welcome to Mayberry!” /;-)

  30. avatar Tbill says:

    “Damn straight, your my Huckleberry!”

  31. avatar Bob says:

    Well, Ahm thinkin you should be droppin that gun now. Whadda you think?

  32. avatar Leadslinger says:

    This road don’t go to Aintry. You done taken a wrong turn.

  33. avatar LHW says:

    Barney, if you know what’s good for you you’ll put that harmonica in the trash.

  34. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    Now Otis I’m telling you for the last time…keep your hands off Aunt Bee’s “biscuits”.

  35. avatar Leadslinger says:

    Who needs Tannerite when you have a goat full of Dynamite!

    1. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

      Classic, the loaded goat.

  36. avatar LCB says:

    Twitch and you’ll have a camel toe!

  37. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Daince, city boy, daince!”

  38. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

    “Howdy boys, we been expectin’ you. Aunt Bee even baked ya’ll a home made apple pie, help yerself. An when yer all done, just kindly show yerselves to the cell on the left. Key’s on the wall over there by Otis. Barn show the nice gentlemen where they can wash up, and Ope get yer frog out of the wash basin. Now I’ve got to get down to Floyd’s and get me a hair cut, I’ll see you folks.”

  39. avatar pieslapper says:

    “As a matter of fact… I AM the law.”

  40. The court may have said “shall issue” but this is still “MAY-berry”…now get out…

  41. avatar pieslapper says:

    “I told Floyd if he nicked me shaving one more time…”

  42. avatar The Rookie says:

    “Aunt Bee will win that pickle contest, Floyd.”

    Okay, I stole that one from MadTV. I disqualify myself and stuff. But it’s still funny.

  43. avatar dh34 says:

    The court may have said “shall issue” but this is still “MAY-berry”…now get out…

  44. “Now Opie, I’m only gonna tell you once… Don’t ever make a movie about retirees that find the Fountain of Youth inside of an alien rock. Got it boy?”

    1. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

      “Cocoon” was one weird ass show, right up there with that one about the kid that goes missing back in the 70s, reappears in the 90s and hasn’t aged a bit. Or that one about a ladie’s husband that died, but a strand of his hair was absorbed by an extraterrestrial essence and created a clone of him. The clone and the lady then go on a soujourn to reunite the extraterrestrial presence with its own kind. The military gets involved, a dead deer is resurrected, stop lights are ran and through the clone a dead man impregnates the woman. What was that show called again?

      1. avatar Exoteric Sanity says:


        1. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

          Indeed Starman, that was one strange movie. As is this quite strange too, this one talking to one’s own self.

      2. Are you thinking of “Flight of the Navigator”?

        1. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

          “Flight of The Navigator” That’s it!!! Couldn’t recall the name of that show. Should have remembered, it came out around the time that “Still Of The Night” was playing on MTV.

  45. Matlock: Judgement Day

    1. avatar Jake Rogers says:

      That’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day. On a side note, I live in Mayberry and I don’t recognize anything on that map lol.

  46. “Barney, I can’t believe you’re renting that apartment to two sluts and a perv.”

    1. avatar Curtis in IL says:


  47. avatar Esoteric Inanity says:

    How about: “Red Skelton, Beverly Hillbillies, Hee-Haw, Green Acres and Peticoat Junction, this is the Rural Purge”.

    Damnit, why couldn’t The Brady Bunch have been inadvertently included?

  48. avatar Cyfex says:

    “No Mr Bond I expect you to die” *bang*…….huh…..it worked…… *roll credits*

  49. avatar MLee says:

    No I’m not the Rifleman smart ass!

  50. avatar tiger says:

    Some guys Walk tall, with a big stick. I prefer to sit, and let my .44-40 do my talking.

  51. avatar anonymoose says:

    Welcome to /k/, now get out!

    1. avatar Skrobie says:


  52. avatar Curtis says:

    “My bullet is bigger than Barnie’s.” {!-{P

  53. avatar LHW says:

    This is my rifle, there are many like it, but this one is mine.

  54. avatar Penetty says:

    Look at him, the little kid, plotting against us with Willow.

  55. avatar BigDaveinVT says:

    “I know the show’s in black & white but this flag is still red, white and blue. Any arguments?”

    Sorry. Playing the pariot card.

  56. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    Now don’t lie Goober…I saw you follow us down to our secret fishin’ hole.

  57. avatar miker says:

    That’s a Goooooood Cracker!

  58. avatar LeopoldStotch says:

    No, really….I am “The Sheriff Without A Gun”. Isn’t it obvious?

  59. avatar vanareb says:


  60. avatar Skrobie says:

    Have a seat over there Mr. Bond.

  61. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    “Say hello to my little friend….”
    And you thought Scarface originated that…

  62. avatar Nevada says:

    That’s it Barney, I’ve had enough.

  63. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “what’s ‘about to pop’, mitch?”

  64. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “now charlene, when you get done with otis over there, i want you to pay your uncle andy a visit.”

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Seconds, after the town drunk? Well, it was the 60’s.

      1. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

        ya, it was before fingercuffs.

  65. avatar RidgeRunner says:

    “No, Fun Girls from Mt. Pilot, i do NOT have a pistol in my pocket, but i am glad to see you.”

  66. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    “postage due? well now, i was under the impression that this was rural free delivery.”

  67. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:


  68. avatar Joseph Quixote says:

    Do you feel lucky punk?

  69. avatar Alan Esworthy says:

    “I never did understand that expression, ‘He shot himself in the foot.'”

  70. avatar Mick says:

    Well Secretary Clinton, we’re going to have us a little talk here about Benghazi, your private emails, the Clinton Foundation…

  71. avatar Russ Whittington says:

    “Now Otis, I said you’re just gonna have to sober up first”.

  72. avatar Jerry says:

    I don’t always use a gun, but when I do, it’s one I can depend on.

  73. avatar jwm says:

    “Whistling. Whistling. For 30 years I’ve had that stupid tune stuck in my head. Well, today it ends.”

  74. avatar pieslapper says:

    “Now Gomer, I done told you when you signed up for the Marines you warn’t supposed to say nothin’. But naw, you musta blabbed, and look they done kicked you out.”

  75. avatar justin says:

    Just shut up, Barney.

  76. avatar James69 says:

    Andy Griffith Texas Ranger – one of Hollywood’s unknown shows that never made it to production

  77. avatar Bob says:

    Remember the episode this was taken from. Goober takes a car apart and puts it back together inside the courthouse. Goober keeps dragging out removing it at andy’s request and Andy points the gun at goober and tells him he better start working fast to get that car out. Classic episode.

  78. avatar jwm says:

    “Ernest T. Bass. Didn’t your daddy tell you not to bring a brick to a gunfight?”

  79. avatar JW says:

    Funny thing, Mr. Mayor. I’m the COUNTY sheriff. I reckon that means you aren’t my boss. Now, are you ready to quit your yellin’ and be reasonable?

  80. avatar Bruce W. Krafft says:

    Go ahead, Otis, say one more bad thing ’bout Aunt Bee’s cooking; I dare ya!

  81. avatar Nathan p says:

    No you can’t leave I told you we’re going to sit here and listen to my entire album before I release you back into the community.

  82. avatar Saml Adams says:

    “I said I didn’t have much use for guns. Doesn’t mean I don’t know how to use one”

  83. avatar Jeff says:

    Go ahead – make my day.

    I ain’t a goin’ off half-cocked.

  84. avatar RockThisTown says:

    “You wanna see the judge? Sure, have a seat while I get my robe.”

  85. avatar Old Region Fan says:

    Body Cameras ? We don’t need no stinking body cameras !!

  86. avatar Davie says:

    I am the law! Any questions?

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email