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82 COMMENTS

  1. They said that Obama was going to win , so I bought a few guns. They said Obama was going to win again, so I bought some more guns. The say Hillary is going to win so, I guess I need to go out and buy more guns.

  2. “Six men came to kill me one time. And the best of ’em carried this. It’s a Callahan full-bore auto-lock. Customized trigger, double cartridge thorough gauge. It is my very favorite gun.”

  3. Hmmm.. Let’s see…this one is for battling talking apes…and this one here…urban vampire types…

  4. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe,
    Catch a tiger by the toe.
    If he hollers, let him go,
    Eeny, meeny, miny, moe…

  5. Why no, officer, none of these take a high capacity magazine. That’s why I have so many of them…

  6. Actually, I don’t like this one. You won’t have to pry it from my hands, here have it back.

  7. His words

    “So, as we set out this year to defeat the divisive forces that would take freedom away, I want to say those fighting words for everyone within the sound of my voice to hear and to heed, and especially for you, Mr. Gore: ‘From my cold, dead hands!” — Charlton Heston, May 20, 2000.

    My words. Yeah, Hillary what Charlton said.

  8. 1. We’re gonna need a bigger wall.
    2. “They wants the PRECIOUS, they wants have it ,kills them we will.”

  9. That/s the one I don’t want taken from my cold dead hands!! Any of them I’m holding at the time.

  10. What? No contest winner 2 weeks in a row? Don’t we at least deserve the respect of being told we’re too retarded to name that caption?

  11. Well, I mean I WOULD put it away, Honey, but this shelf looks a bit unstable. I should probably hang onto it for awhile while I double check this thingy here. For a couple hours.

  12. “I love you, and I love you, and you, and I love you, and I love you too, and you, but I love you most of all.”

  13. “As smoke from burning buildings smudged the skyline and the TV news showed vivid images of laughing looters smashing windows and carting off boomboxes and booze, I got a few phone calls from firmly anti-gun friends in clear conflict. ‘Umm, Chuck, you have quite a few . . . ah, guns, don’t you?'”

    — On the L.A. riots of 1992, from his autobiography “In the Arena” (1995)

    • “I don’t know if you can, but can you get an order for Ons, that’s O-N-S,
      Junior Market, the address is 1934 East Anaheim, all the windows are
      Busted out, and it’s like a free-for-all in here and uh the owner should
      At least come down here and see if he can secure his business-
      If he wants to” – Sublime

  14. “We’re gonna build a wall, and Mexico is gonna pay for it. I mean, it’s gonna be great. We’re going to make America great again.”

  15. “From my cold dead hands?” Not quite.
    “From my cold dead hands?” Maybe…nah…
    “From my cold dead hands?” Yeah, this is the one.

  16. Three thousand 16, three thousand seventeen, three thousand…… Aw for the love of….! One, two…

  17. “oh, look. a photo of me taking rifle number 17 off the wall while looking at a photo of me taking rifle number 17 off of the wall while… whoa.”

  18. “Yes my dear, now I will take you and rub you gently with oil, would you like that my love, would you?”

  19. Why such a tall wall? Well, as the zombie corpses pile up down here I just move up the wall… 17…16…15…

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