Weekend Photo Caption Contest



  1. avatar Bigred2989 says:

    I’m doing my part!

    Would you like to know more?

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Get your citizenship thru Federal Service.

      “The Mobile Infantry made me the man I am today.”

    2. avatar TrucksNCoffee says:

      “Come on you apes, you wanna live forever? (Where’s them damned alien Predators when you really need ’em?)”

    3. avatar 2AMexican says:


  2. avatar dh34 says:

    Don’t worry, I’ve emailed Secretary Clinton….help is on the way.

  3. avatar jwm says:

    “THEM” A classic movie I hope no one tries to remake.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      “Make me a sergeant in charge of the booze! Make me a sergeant in charge of the booze!”

      A sci-fi classic from the Golden Age.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        Only re-up inducement that I would have given second thoughts to.

      2. avatar Bill Kohnke says:

        Amen to that, brother. Just wait till State Trooper Sgt Jame Whitmore shows up with the Thompson. Oh, the good ole’ days when government men, even in the movies, could be trusted to do the right thing, and remain manly at the same time. No psychoanalysis or second guessing required. But then, these guys were all WWII vets in real life (Whitmore had been a Marine officer and James Arness was a former Army infantryman wounded at Anzio). Since they already had seen the elephant, what’s an overgrown ant to them?

    2. avatar Vitsaus says:

      This movie came out when my dad was a kid, and he told me about going to the theater to see it. Its still one of my favorites, even with all the high budget effects of today. I love this film.

    3. avatar Paul53 says:

      Began in Radium Springs New Mexico. Downtown Radium Springs consists of a one truck volunteer fire department and The Blue Moon Bar. There’s not even an intersection for miles. (look on a map between Las Cruces and Hatch. It’s several miles West of I-25).

    4. avatar Timmy! says:

      There was a ventilation fan in the parking garage where I used to work which made the exact “Wheet! Wheet! Wheet!” sound of the ants in this film. Every time I heard it, I’d throw my hands to my ears and pretend to scream “THEM!” like the little girl. No one ever got it.

  4. avatar Vhyrus says:

    It’s alright honey… this is a 45!

  5. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    THEM! Beat me to it-a great movie even with cheesy effects. “Make me a sargent in charge of the beer”…

  6. avatar Gunr says:

    “Get a magnum! Get a magnum”, I kept telling you, But oh no you said, “A 22 cost a lot less to shoot!”

  7. avatar jwm says:

    Damned neighbers and their exotic pets. I’m sending a strongly worded letter to the HOA.

  8. avatar Gunr says:

    I think he’s after your super wide extended frame glasses!

  9. avatar dh34 says:

    Hon, would you mind going to the car and bringing me the .450 Marlin from the trunk please?

  10. avatar MAC][ says:

    Quick Marge, throw him a Snickers!

  11. avatar tsbhoA.P.jr says:

    kukla didn’t notice that charlotte had crawled into the transmogrifier…

    1. avatar Dustin says:

      No, it’s only a transmogrifier when the opening is facing down…

  12. avatar Ralph says:

    In the sequel to “Them,” a mutated race of tiny, well-dressed people take on normal-sized flying ants with nothing more than a .9mm handgun.

  13. avatar Gunr says:

    Quick honey, hand me that 30 round clip-a-zine thingy!

  14. avatar SkyMan77 says:

    When you said your Aunt is coming for dinner I didn’t the that we were on the menu…

    Reloading !!!

    1. avatar SkyMan77 says:

      I didn’t think… (tru dat)

  15. avatar AL L says:

    Wait, I think it may be Muslim! Don’t want to offend any of those!

    1. avatar Dustin says:

      Where are my bacon-stuffed hollow points?

  16. avatar Stinkeye says:

    I take back what I said. There’s ONE scenario where a “trunk gun” makes sense.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Whitmore’s trunk gun in the movie was a tommy gun. Better times, those.

  17. avatar Ian says:

    Don’t leave your safety to chance! sign up with Vault-tec today!

    1. avatar Darrell says:

      Entering VATS mode. Target Antenna.

  18. avatar jwm says:

    You said crabs! Not giant effing ants.

  19. avatar Dustin says:

    Guns are useless tools of cowards! Just put up a sign and this’ll all go away when the media fails to report it. It’s it not on the evening news, it didn’t happen!

  20. avatar mike oregon says:

    Don’t worry dear, I’ve got the shoulder thing that goes up.

  21. avatar Tyler B. says:

    I’m here for your lead and picnic foods, bring them to me.

  22. avatar jwm says:

    The modern man would run for help and leave the woman to fight the bugs til he got back.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      A quote from The Modern Man: “Do whatever you want to her; just let me go.”

      1. avatar dh34 says:

        Brave brave modern NYT man
        When danger reared its ugly head,
        Modern NYT man bravely turned and fled…

        1. avatar Bill Kohnke says:

          Is ‘NYT’ pronounced ‘nit’ as in wit?

        2. avatar Another Robert says:

          As in “baby louse”.

      2. avatar dh34 says:

        In times like these, I believe Modern Military Man would call upon his buddies, the agents from SPECTRE…AC130 SPECTRE that is…for close encounters of the danger close kind

  23. avatar William Burke says:

    “Come in my kitchen one more time AND YOU’RE DEAD!!!”

  24. avatar Jack Wagner says:


  25. avatar Gordon Wagner says:


    Love that movie. Helicopters, bazookas, flamethrowers, rifle-launched grenades… machine guns…

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Jeeps in sewers. What’s not to like?

  26. avatar Colt Magnum says:

    Ohmigod! It’s a Foaming Feinstein!

    1. avatar Gunr says:

      Feinstein never looked that good!

    2. avatar Dustin says:

      I demand that you apologize for that baseless and unwarranted slander against giant bugs!

  27. avatar Vitsaus says:

    “Is this gonna be a stand-up fight, or just another bug hunt?”

  28. avatar dh34 says:

    I knew I should have gone out with the Orkin Man

    1. avatar Bill Kohnke says:

      An Oerlikon man would have been a better bet, as in 20mm.

      1. avatar dh34 says:

        In this case, I think I’d go with a twin 40mm

  29. avatar PNG says:

    “First one that comes out the f*cking ground gets a… gets a *lead salad*, you understand?”

  30. avatar GaPharmD says:

    “Of course im not going to shoot it darling! I only use it to bully a bunch of moms so I figured it would also work on most ants!”

    Bah dum Ching. Aunts…. I kill myself… Hahahahahhahah

  31. avatar dh34 says:

    When interviewed, the ant queen said that although Bobby had a tough childhood, he had just started community college and was really starting to turn his life around.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Another tragedy caused by guns.

  32. avatar Indiana Tom says:

    So where is the can of Raid?

  33. avatar CRF says:

    Many anti gunners recommend spraying your attacker in the eyes with bug spray.

  34. avatar Sammy^ says:

    a different kind of anty gunner

  35. First they came after the bug-spray. Then they came after the guns.

  36. avatar Piet Padkos says:

    Don’t ya worry sweet-cheeks! This here’s a .45, if it’s got a soul it’ll kill it!

    1. avatar jwm says:

      .45? Just like a man. Try to convince a woman a snubnose .38 is a long barreled .45.

      1. avatar Piet Padkos says:

        Hey c’mon! .38?.45? A hole’s a hole, don’t sweat the details. 😉

  37. avatar Mustrum Ridcully says:

    I think we are going to need a bigger gun….
    105mm recoiless rifle should be about right deer but remember to step well to the side after you load it.

  38. avatar Bryan says:

    The “Men in Gray” were the “Men in Black”, before the chum-ba-ya moment!

  39. avatar Bryan says:

    Careful Edgar he’s comin’ for your suit!

  40. avatar Leadslinger says:

    We’ll be OK – Just wet yourself and throw up!

  41. avatar jwm says:

    Holy crap, woman! What did you slip into my drink?

  42. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    “Don’t shoot it Jim. For God’s sake, it’s black. Think of the riots. And do you want Sharpton and Jackson down here”?

  43. avatar jwm says:

    “When you told me you had a giant, hairy ant a different image jumped to my mind.”

  44. avatar Luke says:

    Oh My……
    Hillary Clinton!

  45. avatar tmm says:

    Looks like a pet rock with legs

  46. avatar Hoplopfheil says:

    Dammit, Tom, Weaver stance!

  47. avatar schernobyl says:

    9mm, 40, 45ACP, I kill spiders with my 38 special

  48. avatar Mk10108 says:

    No worries, I have live viruses in my hollow points.

  49. avatar Pieslapper says:

    “I guess it didn’t see ‘monster free zone’ signs”

  50. avatar Marc says:

    Springfield Armory – Bring enough gun.

  51. avatar Mykque says:

    “You see, this is why I wanted a Desert Eagle!”

  52. avatar Another Robert says:

    See, I wasn’t lying–I CAN shoot the eye out of an ant at 50 yards!

  53. avatar Pieslapper says:

    “Dammit Jim! I’m a doctor, not an exterminator! “

  54. avatar Pieslapper says:

    So that’s what she looks like when the pantsuit comes off. No wonder Willy’s willy liked chubby interns.

  55. avatar Rusty Chains says:

    OK guys, time to bug out!

  56. avatar Jordan says:

    “Take a trip to Australia” they said.
    “Not every critter there can kill you” they said.
    I swear, if we make it out of this, I am going to kill our travel agent.

  57. avatar Eric says:

    Sweet Jesus,! Its Hillary! Quik, send in the bill and Monica! Oh the humanity!!!

  58. avatar DanielB says:

    “Who needs more than five rounds?” Umm…THIS GUY!

  59. avatar Defens says:

    Another youth cut down by gun violence in his formic-tive years.

    1. avatar Timmy! says:

      The Ant
      by Ogden Nash

      The ant has made himself illustrious
      Through constant industry industrious.
      So what?
      Would you be calm and placid
      If you were full of formic acid?

  60. avatar Paul53 says:

    “No don’t shoot! It’s my ant!”

  61. avatar Charlie says:

    I’ll give it a shot, but this little pistol ain’t gonna do shit!

    Run away!

    I picked a bad day to quit drinking! 🙂

  62. avatar VaqueroJustice says:

    Who wants to take your firearms ? Them.

  63. avatar Wade says:

    It’s alright I am wearing my Benghazi scented cologne the monster will pretend we are not here.

  64. avatar Wade says:

    Don’t worry 7 shots and a nice trigger is all that is needed in combat.

  65. avatar Paul G says:

    Darn it, this gun is my .9 mm, what I need is my 90 mm to kill that bug!

  66. avatar jwm says:

    Now this, this is the moment for a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range.

  67. avatar jwm says:

    “He’s coming right for us!”

  68. avatar jwm says:

    remember, children. Duck and Cover.

  69. avatar Joe says:

    Defensive Gun Use of the Day: Mutant Ant Edition

    From concealednation.org

    Charlie Walters of Erie, Pennsylvania had quite a surprise Friday afternoon when he returned home early from work…[read more]

  70. avatar The Trouble with Timbo says:

    Don’t worry. It’s just Shannon Watts without her makeup!

  71. avatar anonymoose says:

    Dang! I wish I had a flamethrower right now!

    (The movie is Them! for those who didn’t know. It’s one of the first giant mutant bug scifi movies, and it’s pretty good)

  72. avatar Gregolas says:

    Ants ! “Crashing picnics is our business !”

  73. avatar Javier says:

    Honey I told you that cheap pesticide you bought was only going to feed THEM! You should have gotten raid.

  74. avatar Kyle Mitchell says:


  75. avatar Chazbo says:


  76. avatar TxDuallyDog says:

    While out hunting in Texas, the Kee’s got into more than they bargained for while trying to relieve that “itch”

  77. avatar dragos111 says:

    They didn’t consider this scenario when they decided we needed only 10 rounds in a magazine!

  78. avatar C77A1 says:

    Damnit Martha, I told you we should have sprung for the 10mm model!

  79. avatar mark s. says:

    Gloria and Jim’s marriage was on the rocks because , according to Gloria , Jim had ants in his pants .

  80. avatar mark s. says:

    I saw this article on Huff Post last night . This photograph was taken on the outskirts of town in Fuckushemi Japan .

    1. avatar Paul G says:

      Jones next door really goes all out on Halloween decorating.

  81. avatar mark s. says:

    ” Hey guys “, can you tell me how to get to the Macy’s parade ?

  82. avatar mark s. says:

    Just another result of ‘ Global Warming ‘.

  83. avatar ZD says:

    “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”
    “Yeah, that doesn’t really apply here.”

  84. avatar mark s. says:

    While out strolling through his garden , Adam found two tiny creatures trying to steel his crooked weed .
    The rest is history .

  85. avatar mark s. says:

    Not knowing he was standing in front of the drive in theater screen , Michael , hopped up on whacky weed , pulled out his 38 snub and put 6 tiny holes in the paper and tin . OOOPS !

  86. avatar mark s. says:

    You can tell it’s a hoax because the shadows are all wrong and the dust would have been floating more distinctly around them , this is definitely a government forgery . Damn those illuminati conspirators .

  87. avatar mark s. says:

    Ancient Alien Theorist believe this was one of our ancestors , what say you ?
    Not clearly seen in this photograph , found inside a newly discovered Egyptian tomb , are the wings , folded neatly behind the ant gods back legs .

  88. avatar jwm says:

    Tastes like chicken.

  89. avatar AJ says:

    Uh oh. I know what you’re thinking Mr. Bloomberg, did he load all 10 or only 7?

  90. avatar Nedd Ludd says:

    “You know honey, I was wondering why they put those three exclamation points
    on the NO PICNICKING!!! signs.”

  91. avatar Dave Lewis says:

    “And in other news, a local man was charged with numerous violations of Federal and state hunting laws for hunting an endangered species, using toxic (lead) projectiles on migratory game, hunting over bait (a cute brunette in a 50’s outfit complete with nylons and a silly hat), exceeding the three round maximum shell capacity, and not wearing hunter safety Orange.”

  92. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    “Darn, I almost had her willing to recreate the beach scene in ‘From Here to Eternity’ and then THIS happens…”

  93. avatar DaveC says:

    John: “Mary, I told you I should have bought that tank I came across on Armslist when I had the chance.”

    Mary: “Well John, I just don’t know what my friends over at PETA and the other animal rights groups would say. Besides, Can’t you just get some bug spray or something?”

    John: “Really Mary? Do you think the make a can big enough for this?”

    Mary: “I don’t know John. You’re the man. You’re supposed to take care of these things.”

    John: “I’m Trying! Now would you leave me be so I can figure this out??!!”

    Mary starts to cry, and John starts feeling bad for yelling. He puts his arm around her and apologizes, kissing her gently on the check. Telling her every thing is going to be all right, she looks up and smiles. As they turn back towards the ant the last thing they see is a big pair of mandibles crushing them as the ant pops them into it’s mouth.

    1. avatar mark s. says:

      What variety of Colorado medicine created this fantasy Dave ?
      Something smells pretty skunkey in your house this .morning ,

  94. avatar Corpral_Agarn says:

    Late to the party but:

    “Remember when I said: ‘this is how you get ants?’! Well!”

  95. avatar Henry says:

    What do we do now? His eyes have NO WHITES!

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