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      • I did it last week. And then I put on my glasses to help me find the glasses that I was wearing. And then I made a martini because I needed one.

    • I’ve woken up and put my glasses on and thought, “why is my vision so blurry?” Then I realized I fell asleep without removing my contact lenses.

      • One time I accidentally put my brother’s contact lenses in and thought I had dropped mine because everything was still blurry. His prescription is far weaker than mine.

        • And I’ve heard of people who thought their contact lenses were still on, but stuck… and were well on their way to removing their corneas before they realized their mistake.

  1. Crap! Jim, have you seen that AR that was sitting on the counter when that group from Mom’s demand action was in here a few min ago?

  2. No caption can top the actual quotes in the related story.

    To wit;

    “It is certainly the most unusual case I’ve dealt with. The man had been shot in the back and the bullet lodged in the testicle. I think the surgeon felt it should be looked at.”

    • -Obama said what the other day concerning Europe?

      “As a forensic expert for the National Ballistics Intelligence Service (NABIS) at its high-security laboratory in an anonymous building in a Birmingham suburb, Tony and his colleagues know what they are talking about when it comes to weaponry in criminal hands in Britain.
      The little-known agency keeps a low profile, but it is key in the fight against gun crime which has seen the number of offences involving firearms fall in England and Wales from 24,000 in 2003 to 9,555 last year.

      Although gun crime remains rare (there are about 900 incidents a year in which a weapon is actually fired or brandished), it remains a grim reality, with police armed response vehicles carrying out some 13,000 operations a year…”

  3. “Chet, did we get that load of cop killer bullets for that watts women yet? She’s been in here twice already asking about it. That funny eye and sideways face gives me the willies.”

  4. Did i just say “clip” to that customer when I was trying to sound like a know it all operator?

  5. Sweet Lord,

    Last time Obama started pushing Gun Control, we doubled the size of the business! My wife might leave me!

  6. Finding himself suddenly surrounded by black assault weapons, Mark Kelly breaks down from total overload of irrational fear and desperately wishes he was back in space, where most fears are much more rational.

  7. Oh no! He said to use your double barrel shotgun and shoot it in the air! All I have are rifles! How will I keep up with the new demand for double barrel shotguns?!

  8. Obama said what?! Now I gotta cancel my vacation, we’re gonna be swamped with customers!

  9. Man oh man, what the heck am I going to do?
    That shipment of shoulder things that go up got back ordered and we put them on sale in the flyer for the week end sale.

  10. I can’t believe it! Diane Feinstein just strolled in here when we didn’t have any customers, and bought a machine gun, and 5,000 rounds of ammo!

  11. Gosh Darn it! What am I going to do. That was my last detent spring and it just sprung halfway from here to…what am I gonna do man, What am I gonna do. I can’t wait another week for Amazon to deliver. I’m gonna cry…I just wanted to get thus build completed.

  12. I did not, I repeat, I did not answer the question on the 4473 that prohibits bald people from owning a gun wrong….I have two hairs that indicate I am not bald and this is not a “straw bald” purchase for another really bald person.

  13. “And here we have a rare look at FirearmsConcierge when he hears a customer walk in.”

  14. Oh crap! The ATF is going to be here in 5 minutes and I can’t find the paperwork for this MG-42. How am I supposed to give this over to the Zetas Cartel without it?!

  15. Listen…it was the eighties man…booze and blow all over…su-su-sussudio seemed like a good idea for a song at the time…

  16. “The paperwork for buy all these guns required me to pull out all my hair. Literally, they demanded DNA samples. Now I can’t buy any more guns…”

  17. “Hey Joe, some guy from LA said he needs a bullet button installed on this thing… What the fuck is a bullet button?!?!”

  18. When I was pwning n00bs in Call Of Battlefield, was I grenade spamming while running the SPAS-12, or sniping out the window with the SVD?

  19. “Any one see where my roll of tax stamps went? I’ve got a big pile of approved Form 1’s and 4’s just sitting here!”

  20. Phew! We haven’t had a gun scare for a while now. I wasn’t sure how I was going to pay my mortgage on the hunting lodge I built after the last scare. I think I’ll name the place Barack Acres.

  21. I know what your husband said Mrs Biden, but I don’t have any 12ga. shotguns that shoot softer than an AR15.

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