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  1. “Our father went to Nashville for the 2015 NRA convention and all we got were these lousy popguns!”

  2. To tell you the truth, I can’t remember if I fired both barrels , or just one. It’s your call, Punk!

  3. So we said to the firemen, “We’re gonna borrow your hats. Just say ‘help yourselves.’ And they said, ‘Help yourself, boys.’ And we said, ‘Much obliged, partners!'”

  4. circa 1935 photo of Dr. Evil, Mini Me and Mr. Bigglewor….Hey where’s Mr. Bigglesworth? You damn kids shoot another cat?

  5. They both got an official Red Ryder carbine-action 200 yard shot model air rifle. Ralphie was steamed.

  6. “We came here to bust some caps and put out fires, and would you look at that, no more fire…”

  7. A few years later at summer camp, little Becky showed them a different kind of ‘Discipline’…

  8. “Here’s the deal, girls: You hand over the cookies, we’ll hand over the money. Ah-ah-ah! Slowly.”

  9. “The Army declared today that due to shortfalls in enlistments, the minimum age of joining was being lowered.”

  10. Free association. If you ain’t wearing a fire hat, overalls and packing a pop gun you can’t live in this trailer park.

  11. During the War even the fire department recruited young to repel the inevitable invasion by Axis Forces.

  12. Take a shortcut on a back road and suddenly you run into 2 yutes packin. Cue the banjo music.

  13. Their summer jobs modeling fancy clothes for the Sears catalog finally paid off, and Nicky and Danny Jr. each got their very own side-by-side, side by side.

  14. Little Joe Biden admired his older brother so much that he took his gun advice to heart and has never felt that anything other than a double barrel was needed.

    The fact that they were waiting for the short bus to take them to school is completely overlooked by Joe and his supporters.

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