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  1. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you my newest invention… the riot shield. You see you use it to protect yourself from rocks and bottles that rioters throw at us.

    • The robot might’ve killed Officer O’Malley, but seconds after Jimmy snapped this picture, Lois took it out with her ’53 Nash Metropolitan.
      Superman’s whereabouts are as yet unknown.

  2. “I give you until 3 to come out.”

    “No, I give _you_ until 3 to come out.”

    “Hey, I commanded first.”

    “Did not.”

  3. Testing continues on Bloomberg’s new armor for when he doesn’t have his herd of armed bodyguards.

  4. … When Officer McGruff was asked how he liked the new Invisible Ear Protection Devices his reply was, “WHAT?”

  5. The Great 1946 Miami Shootout. It took another 40 years for the cops to figure out that the were inadequate against body armor.

  6. The new chastity belt is almost ready. We have one last test before we deliver it to Shannon for her date with Diggler.

  7. Ladies and Gentlemen, THIS is why the Mayberry County Sheriff’s Department SWAT Team NEEDS an MRAP! Do you really want us kicking down the door to a dangerous meth lab in these?

  8. In the years following Obama’s military cuts, American armored cavalry misguidedly tried to fend of the rule of our benevolent robot masters.
    All Hail Xorkxon!


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