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    • Yeah, but “G-man” today could be a woman and she could hail from the DHS, SSA, DeptEd, NOAA, BLM, Girl Scouts and the myriad other federal agencies that are not swatted up.

  1. Gangster ‘Johnny’: [hears knock at door] Who is it?
    Gangster ‘Snakes’: [Snakes comes in] It’s me, Snakes. I got the stuff.
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here.
    Gangster ‘Snakes’: All right, Johnny, but what about my money?
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: What money?
    Gangster ‘Snakes’: Acey said you had some dough for me.
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: That a fact? How much do I owe ya?
    Gangster ‘Snakes’: Acey said 10%.
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: [smirks] Too bad Acey ain’t in charge no more.
    Gangster ‘Snakes’: What do ya mean?
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: He’s upstairs takin’ a bath. He’ll call you when he gets out.
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: Hey, I tell ya what I’m gonna give *you*, Snakes.
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: I’m gonna give you to the count of 10, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!
    Gangster ‘Snakes’: [wide eyed and calm] All right, Johnny, I’m sorry. I’m goin’!
    Gangster ‘Johnny’: 1… 2… 10!

    [Insert Picture]

    Gangster ‘Johnny’: Keep the change, ya filthy animal!

    -Home Alone.

  2. “I ain’t one of Shannon’s fat rent-a-gumbas. I’m on Mayor Mikey’s crew. All the guns for us – all the lead for you, suckers!”

  3. “I’s tinkin’ handloadin’ dese rounds wit black powda wan’t such a great idea, boss.”

  4. Dang this thing is loud! How long’s it gonna take for the ATF to approve my suppressor application?

  5. For personal protection, I have always preferred the Thompson. Oh, there are others, but nothing compares to the personal satisfaction of The Tommy Gun at work.

  6. Ok, if you can do “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog” with the Chicago typewriter you’ll get the job.

  7. “I told you Bitch, time and time again!! I told you Leave Da Guns In California alone!!” ” I told ya when I married ya Dianne!” “But No! Yer stupid ass had to get in politics and be a Senator! Ya just had ta”!!

  8. “I don’t always go full auto…but when I do, I prefer Thompson. Stay 2A my friends”.

    The most interesting man in the world.

    • Great caption, I got an email one time when he was saying,
      “I don’t usually listen to Mexican music, but when I do, it’s because my drunk Mexican neighbors are up until after 2 am playing that shit!

  9. Red’s Millinery and Armory Shoppe

    “Nyah, when it’s gotta be dead, it’s gotta be Red’s, see?


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