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  1. I have heard of a shotgun wedding, but a modern sporting rifle wedding? That is new to me.

  2. “Now remember, when the groom says, ‘I do,’, we pull these out from under our gowns, and no one leaves alive. Except the groom.”

    • Thats ok this isn’t designed to please you it’s designed to provide joke fodder for the rest of us.

  3. following the nuptials, the bridesmaids prepare for some celebratory fire after years of waiting for Audrey to finally marry Seymour

    • “A backstop of our own
      And patterns in bold ink
      A good exploding target set
      For when we want to plink
      A picture out of online TTAG magazine…
      On a target range we’ll share

      ===|==============/ Keith DeHavelle

  4. While the others laughed at her for holding “just” a pistol, Sheila couldn’t help but smirk, secure in the knowledge that she was the only one not compensating for a small penis.

  5. New from A&E combines Sister Wives with The Batchlorette to be called Sister Wives begins the new season with the wedding. One lucky guy will meet and marry these eager brides. Good luck and may the best man win.

  6. Wet Dream: Shannon Watts’ daughters’ wedding day and they marry against mommy dearest’s wishes

    • “Next on NBC, Dirk Diggler stars in “My Three Sons”. Dirk and Shannon don’t see eye-to-eye at the rehearsal dinner. Will it be enough to call off the weddings? Stay tuned”

  7. And then I asked him, “you’re not getting cold feet are you?”, and he said “NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Hahahahahha!!!

  8. “No I don’t feel like a cheapskate. I stuck with tradition and got him a watch. He is the one that splurged. Haha”

  9. Good thing those arctic white stocks are coming out so our accessories will match the dress for the wedding.

  10. The ushers and best man don’t know it yet, but they’re all doing a full monty dance at the reception. To the music of the Village People.

  11. Tonight, he will perform exactly as instructed and will only be released when I’m satisfied!!!!

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