I posted the above photo of my 1980’s Cobray Pocket Pal on TTAG’s Facebook page. The caption read, “Do I load my EDC with 3 rounds of .380 or 5 rounds of .22? Decisions, decisions.” I was, of course, totally kidding. This paperweight of a gun doesn’t even get fired, let alone carried. But as we all know, sarcasm can be hard to convey via the intertubes and most seemed to take the post seriously.
Which resulted in my snarky reply to Dennis’ perfectly reasonable suggestion. But this (and people regularly referring to CZs as hipster guns) got me thinking…what guns would a “gun hipster” carry or own? Other than my totes on fleek bae, the Cobray Pocket Pal, that is.
After due consideration, here’s my list of the top six (because no hipster would create something as banal or normative as a top five or top 10 list) hipster-pleasing firearms:
Locally Crafted Artisanal AK-47
Nothing says “hipster” quite like a locally-sourced, hand-crafted AK-47 that looks like it was made in a garage yurt in Mongolia, but costs three times what you’d pay for a Century Arms import. Jon Wayne Taylor kept things Texas locavore by building his own AK back in the day. Don’t look now, but he’s probably a gun hipster.
Colt Model 1908 Vest Pocket Pistol
Chambered in .25 ACP, a caliber perfect for the modern, effete free ranging hipster male who eschews toxic masculinity, the Colt Vest Pocket is perfect for carrying, well, in your vest (just be sure to stow your beard comb elsewhere). It’s also pleasingly retro in a waxed mustache, prohibition-era-themed “speakeasy” mixologist kind of way. It was a concealable semi-auto before concealable semi-autos were cool.
The shelter pet of modern concealed carry pistols, Remington’s R51 is ready for you to rescue her so you can feel good about yourself and virtue signal to your friends. As a stylish modern take on an old-fashioned gun made of real steel by real men from the end of WWI to the Great Depression, it appeals to the hipster’s sense of history…so long as it’s cleaned up and made less icky for the 21st century.
The fact that it employs an obscure type of locking action that never went mainstream is just icing on the organic, ethically-sourced, raw, vegan cake.
Heckler & Koch P7
As much clock as it is glock (small “g,” the generic term for any handgun), HK’s P7 is no longer in production. That fact automatically gives it 14 gun hipster points. Its squeeze-cocking mechanism is at least as rare and obscure as the R51’s Pedersen action, and the gun set more “firsts” (first 3-dot sights, for example) than you can count on a throwback flip phone.
The P7 nailed the insanely low bore axis, striker-fired, combat sights thing way before any of that was cool. Plus it’s expensive, very high-quality, intricate, fancy-yet-austere, and elegant in a well-groomed metrosexual man kind of a way. But it’s functional, too.
Webley Mk IV Revolver
Let’s not get too hung up on the Webley, per se. As far as hipster cognoscenti are concerned, this could really be almost any Wild West to WWII revolver, from an old Colt Rainmaker to a Smith & Wesson Victory. Naturally, it should be chambered in an obscure caliber that has faded from general use.
You aren’t necessarily a gun hipster for collecting these guns, mind you, but you damn sure are for carrying one. Especially since you tote it in a hand-tooled, naturally tanned shoulder holster made by a local leather artisan from the hide of Chad, a bison he raised himself.
Bonus gun hipster points for making your antique revolver of choice look even more steampunk.
If you’re looking to buck the mainstream, ignore societal convention, and find that indie-rock band of a gun before it’s officially cool, then you’re a gun hipster and you’re already late to the Hudson H9 party. The H9 isn’t afraid to look unique, and is perfectly comfortable being a little bit GLOCK and a little 1911.
There are more than two guns — caliber is a construct — and the H9 looks dang good in its skinny grips. Like tweaking a Jazz Age cocktail for the modern era, Hudson raised a middle finger to tradition and created their own unique vision of today’s 1911, which is unlikely to be in the hands of the guy next to you at the range. At least not yet. Gun hipsters, rejoice while the rejoicing is good.