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Windy City PD Superintendant Garry McCarthy has it all figured out. Finally. He’s looked at his city’s murder rate and discovering that it’s higher than New York, a city with three times the population. His boys have confiscated 109 illegal guns since January 1. Garry’s also apparently been combing through the FBI’s uniform crime reports because he’s found that — shazam! — gangs, drugs and illegal guns are intertwined. I know, right? This is evidently why The Godfather pays him the big bucks. Garry has that unique ability to peer through the miasma of chaos that parts of Chicago has become and he’s put his finger right…on…the…problem. But wait! He has a solution, too . . .

McCarthy just held a press conference to announce that the fix to Chicago’s gun crime problem is mandatory minimum sentences. That’s right, he wants to make sure that anyone caught with an illegal gun (which is pretty much all of them as far as he’s concerned) goes away and stays away.

Then he showed a couple of poster boards with mug shots. On one were a series of murderers who’d committed their crimes with illegal guns. On the other were victims of those crimes, criminals themselves. His point: If the shooters had been put away, the people on the other board would still be alive.

But he didn’t stop there. The victims were criminals, too. And he wanted to make it clear that if they’d been kept behind bars, too, they’d have been much safer than they were out on the streets. So the powers that be in The City of Big Shoulders seem to have come to the conclusion that, given their Mogadishu-like crime problem, Chicagoans would be safer behind bars than free to stroll the avenues.

Finally, the top cop had a plea for the media. He asked them (paraphrasing here) not to adopt the talking points of gun rights organizations when referring to his city. In his exact words, “Chicago does not have strict gun laws.” And given what’s been enacted in New York, not to mention what’s in the works in Minnesota, California, Colorado, Maryland and others, he may soon be right. Relatively speaking.

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  1. ref. 2nd Amendment

    “The Constitution was made to guard the people against the dangers of good intentions”
    — Daniel Webster

  2. “Chicago does not have strict gun laws.” WTF are you smoking buddy? HAhahaHA. What ever you did smoke has detached you from reality.

      • ROTFLMFAO, ROTFLMFAO, ROTFLMFAO, ROTFLMFAO….. uh Daniel, if I hadnt had a cover on my keyboard you would owe me a computer key board dang it, spit my coke all over it!

        I am going to plagarize and use that though, HILARIOUS!

  3. “Chicago does not have strict gun laws.”

    Good lord, I just spit coffee all over the screen. Yeah, right. It’s just a damn 2A free for all around here isn’t it Garry. I’m at a loss for words with this guy. Thankfully, I believe his days are numbered anyway.

    Beware of declarations that their new strategies are working. February has always been the slowest month of the year. Once we head into spring and nice weather, the shootings will pick up and more criminals will be killing criminals.

    Illustrating Chicagoland Idiocy, Mayhem and Stupidity at

  4. This is coming from a guy who (reportedly) shot out streetlights.

    Seriously, how many law abiding citizens were shot and killed in Chicago last year, by someone who was also a law abiding citizen before they decided to do the deed, with a gun that they lawfully owned?

    All this proves is that drug prohibition creates an underclass of citizens who are forced to use private methods to settle their disputes, because those disputes involve criminal acts. Chicago doesn’t have a gun problem, it has a crime problem which stems from stopping people from doing something that they like, that doesn’t hurt anyone else.

  5. Compared to outright gun confiscation, the Police Superintendent is right: Chicago is a veritable gun “ownership” utopia. The problem is that said gun “owners” seems to be the ones who are less inclined toward law and order. But, the people of Chicago are getting exactly what they voted for. And what was that again?? Exactly……

  6. Garbage in, garbage out. Imprisonment, obviously, is not the ultimate One-Size-Fits-All solution. How do we know this? America has the largest percentage (and sheer numbers as well) of its population in prison, and it’s difficult to prove that imprisonment reduces crime rates.

    Make that “impossible to prove”. Virginia has had the same “illegal gun, do not pass go on your way to prison” system for… I dunno. At least fifteen years, maybe more, and for every politician on the make to present cooked data to prove it works, there are an equal or greater number of folks who can prove it doesn’t.

    With the planned takedown of standards of living for most of us (so that the super-rich can grab most or all of the marbles), it’s pretty clear that crime rates for certain types of crimes is going to escalate. It’s pretty easy to understand that people with few or no options will do what’s necessary to survive. Some of them will do it in particularly awful fashion. Some will retain their humanity.

    I don’t particularly like the way I put all this, but I’m not going to go back and fix it.

  7. “The victims were criminals, too. And he wanted to make it clear that if they’d been kept behind bars, too, they’d have been much safer than they were out on the streets.”

    And of course the taxpayers of Chicago would need to pay for the criminal’s “safety.”

  8. McCarthy is a newer, dumber and more dangerous version of Bull Connor. I’m surprised that he didn’t blame Chicago’s hideous murder rate on “outside agitators.” Oh, wait. He did. ‘Cause all the guns come from out of state. I’m sure that it won’t be long before we hear McCarthy use the N-word. Oh, wait, he did. Next thing you know, he’ll be threatening to shoot legal CCW carriers. Oh, wait. He did.

    And the hits just keep on coming.

  9. He’s right, if you lock everybody up crime will fall drastically. Props to the asshat for his auswitz style of governance. Now all I need to hear is that if they “imagine” that someone is a threat that they can be locked up. Don’t worry though the bradys are working on it. Its called preemtive strike on the mentally ill. BTW, those first CC permits are really going to hurt, lol, Randy

  10. Proves political appointed Chiefs are nothing more than a baboon bran dead moron like this man. I guess unless they ban all guns and register all people its not real gun control!

  11. I can’t seem to find a source for this, especially the quote. The closest I can find is, “Chicago may have comprehensive gun laws, but they are not strict because the sanctions don’t exist.” Anyone want to help me out with a link to a video of his statements?

  12. Why do I keep getting the impression police chiefs are just politicians who were too terrible at the actual politicking to get votes?

    Damn, there is some twisted stupid right there.

  13. Chicago residents prepare for house to house and apartment building to building searches. Chicago’s Finest are coming after you. All citizens with guns will be imprisoned in Soldier’s Field and Wrigley Field for life. Watcha you gonna do when they come for you?

    OK, I just watched the news video. Now they say that the key is harsh jail time. Oh sure that will solve their problems. Chicago thugs and freaks are rational calm people who consider unintended consequences, not.

      • matt,

        Why do I find it amusing to consider the possibility he’s heading to Chicago? I was kinda being my sarcastic self about doing door to door searches. Then again, thugs can always buy guns on the black market.

  14. Chicago does not have strict gun laws…Chicago does not have strict gun laws…..Obama is not going to take your guns…..Obama is not going to take your guns….

  15. Someone needs to pen a dark science-fiction post-apocalypse book called ‘Escape from Chicago’. A sequel can be called: ‘Rahm Warlord of the Great Lakes’.

  16. “New York is almost three times bigger than Chicago….. blah blah blah”

    McStupid (local name for McStupid) and his mentor “Tiny Dancer” (the former college ballet major who is serving as Chicago’s Mayor before he goes on to bigger and better things) are absolutely right. Chicago has trwice as much crimes as New York.

    But New York has almost 4 times the number of police officers (34,500) compared to Chicago (about 9,000 left because they haven’t hired anyone since tiny Dancer found out Chicago had no money due to the former Mayor “ShortShanks”)

    McStupid, tired of people talking about the time he and his NY State Trooper brother got caught shooting out street lights and daring the “f***ing N****** to come out and fight and the constant rumors and actually sighting of him cruising north side bars looking for equally stupid women every night is soon to go and suffer the fate of all disgraced Illinois politicians, either jail or the White house

    • The more significant difference is that NYC is 44% white compared to Chicago’s 31.7%. As we all know you can have all the cops you want, but it wont do anything to change the crime rate, since they are purely a reactive force.

  17. Last week I read that Illinois is in the process of preparing to release many inmates doing time for violence do to lack of funding. Now Chicago is talking increasing the prisoner population. Wonder what next week will bring.

  18. If you want total security, go to prison. There you’re fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking… is freedom.
    Dwight D. Eisenhower


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