Quote of the Day: Modern Metrosexual Edition


“The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.” – Number 25 in Brian Lombardi’s list, 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man [at nytimes.com]


    1. avatar YaDaddy says:

      The problem with “modern man” and I assume we are speaking in the societal sense not the evolutionary sense, cuz the evolutionary “Modern Man” kicked ass and took names in the survival game. …but I digress. The problem with the “modern man” in question is that when the “modern” is removed from the equation, this guy is clueless for at least a while. If given time he would eventually drop right back into the swing of nature, but nature may not give him that opportunity. His biggest problem is that he doesn’t believe that scenario could ever come about.

      We won’t be listening to “modern man’s” bright ideas if the SHTF…

      …and in that scenario, be sure to give him a quick punch in the gut when no one is looking.

      1. avatar Texsylvanian says:

        Agreed. You should read the whole list. It’s sad. A transparently desparate attempt to convince himself that his own effeminate, hyper-liberal, cuckolded life is somehow a paradigm for all men. Give me a break. He needs to tone down the narcissism and put this type of projection in the trash.

        1. avatar notalima says:

          Agreed. That list is a list of ‘Justifying my life’ text.

          Or rather: “You should do as I do”.

          Shoe size, seriously? My wife doesn’t know mine, nor do I expect her to.

          Self aggrandizing posture weasel.

      2. avatar JohnB. says:

        Three Things have not changed since Cain slew Abel. the Human Body, the Human Mind and Human Nature. pretending the gun changed us into a violent society is pretty ignorant of history.

        1. avatar Accur81 says:


        2. avatar Old Ben turning in grave says:

          Yep. And pretending that there is no need for effective self defense in the modern world shows ignorance of the present.

    2. avatar Paul says:

      Yeah, I agree. I mean c’mon, will this guy grow a pair? No need of a gun but he sleeps towrad the door to protect his wife from an intruder? Is that a joke? What’s this puss boo-boo going to do use harsh language? Maybe his wife will get up, grab her S&W 646 and protect her lame hubby form the night crawler.

      What trash; typical for the NYTimes.

      1. avatar notalima says:

        That was excellent.

      2. avatar Removed_californian says:

        That list gave me AIDS. That rebuttal gave me a chuckle.

    3. avatar Garrison Hall says:

      Cosmopolites. The article personifies a significant portion of the American population, most of whom seem to reside in the mega-cities on both coasts and in university towns like Austin. I was in a restaurant yesterday and close by were a couple of these worthies. They were so enjoying each others company that their conversation went on and on. . . . and on . . . and on. . . I don’t normally pay much attention to what other people are saying to each other at lunch but these two guys were virtually at my elbow and were hard to ignore. They must have talked for a solid hour or more, but what impressed me was that in that whole time neither of them seemed to have a real opinion about anything nor did they exhibit any expertise or even knowledge of how anything, and I mean anything, works. Their combination of ignorance and self-satisfaction was stunning. We’re doomed.

      1. avatar Ethan says:

        They are the Eloi of H.G. Wells’ imagination. Docile, pampered creates who only exists to serve as food for the predators – who are really running the show.

  1. avatar pwrserge says:

    The “modern man” is an effeminate spineless sack of incompetence. This is the sort of pussy who didn’t get his face sufficiently rearranged in high school and needs to have some toughness beat into him before he goes full mangina.

    1. avatar dh34 says:

      This is the modern man whose wife is having an affair with someone who drives a pickup truck, knows how to change a tire, and damn sure knows how to protect her.

    2. avatar 16V says:

      That guy is a closet case. Not quite as far as Tom Cruise or John Travolta, but about as far as Elton John in the ’70s. He’s here, he’s queer, he just can’t quite get used to it. Instead, he tries to redefine manhood to suit his secret life.

      1. avatar Dev says:

        I know gay men who are not effeminate in any way and I know straight men who are. It’s just as bad a stereotype as what is put on gun owners. The person who wrote the article is a spineless coward.

        1. avatar TravisP says:

          Same here. When I was cruising the Med as a Marine there was a Sailor who was a regular dude, I never even suspected of being gay until he said something about it.

        2. avatar DevilNuts says:

          I believe they are called bears.

        3. avatar 16V says:

          I was based in the Bay Area for 4 years and lived Top of Market for a couple of those, and had one location in The Castro. I’m very aware that there are all sorts of gay guys, and some of them are outwardly fairly masculine. Most people will never know.

          That said, if Rock Hudson didn’t set off your gaydar, you might want to get it tuned up. Anytime a man starts talking about buying his wife shoes, he’s got a fetish, or he’s in the closet. There’s a dozen other little hints in that screed, each rather innocuous. Add them up? He’s not just beta.

          And there is nothing wrong with that. Not my thing, but it’s their life.

      2. avatar Grindstone says:

        I served with lesbians manlier than this guy.

        1. avatar Chris T from KY says:

          So did I.

    3. avatar mark s. says:

      Modern man has been raised by modern mom only and does not want to be a man . Modern man wants to be effeminate and a spineless sack of incompetence and wants a pussy between their legs instead of a penis and does not want the responsibility of reproduction or a job or to know how to change a tire , use a tool or get a splinter in their hand , they want to play video games and be taken care of by government or modern woman , they want to earn a living by making you tube videos .

  2. avatar LS/HD says:

    #28. Pretend the New York Times is still relevant (and make sure it sits in a prominent spot right next to your half-caff soy latte).

    1. avatar tufty says:

      LOL, you win the interwebz today. I thought the same thing when I got to a half dressed modern man going down his driveway to collect a “crisp” morning newspaper.

    2. avatar pg2 says:

      Cmon, if it isn’t the NYT, it’s the LAT, WAPOST, CBS, NBS, FOX, CNN, on and on. The message from the media is all the same.

  3. avatar Kaveman atx says:

    Gender bender confusion!!!! This is why female depression and suicide is up every year, per capita, since the rise of feminism starting shortly after wwii.

    I’d kill myself too if I lived alone in a posh city with my dog and all men acted this way…..

    If I was a female and all I guess lol

    1. avatar bender.b.rodreguez says:

      Because correlation equals causation. Got it.

      1. avatar Kaveman atx says:

        Your right I’m wrong……. That is what you woman like to hear right?

        1. avatar Kaveman atx says:


  4. avatar MyOpinionDoesntReallyMatter says:

    More like “The Modern Woman” am I right?

  5. avatar Bernard says:

    16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

    Of course.

    1. avatar DevilNuts says:

      I sleep further from the door so I have time to grab my gun, hopefully my wife is a good fighter! 😉

      1. avatar SKP5885 says:

        +1000. Laughed out loud at my desk. Guy in the office next to me heard me.

      2. avatar JasonM says:

        I sleep farther from the door, because the gun on my side table can then point out of the house. Always keep it pointed in a safe direction.

        1. avatar DevilNuts says:

          My biggest reason is I always slept on the right side of the bed, our last townhome the door was closest to me, Just in the house we live in now, it’s closer to her. Also the gun on my night stand is farther from the doorway, so no one can make a bee line directly for it if they enter the bedroom. They’d have to go around the bed.

      3. avatar Rusty Chains says:

        I sleep closer to the door so that neither of my girl friends get caught in the crossfire!

    2. avatar MyOpinionDoesntReallyMatter says:

      “He will fight them off, with only his Kenneth Cole oxfords, and a shoehorn”

      1. avatar neiowa says:

        And some “Wu-Tang”. Is that some ninga crap?

        1. avatar Another Robert says:

          The only Wu Tang I know is a character in a flash game called Dragon Fist (me and my boys got hooked on it for awhile).

      2. avatar jake from detroit says:

        Any man who brags about his “Kenneth Cole oxfords” needs help. There are two relevant men here:

        The man who doesn’t know what the hell an oxford is. He gets a pass automatically.

        The man who’s power position requires him to understand the value of fine shoes. This man wouldn’t be caught dead wearing kenneth cole anything. If you play with millions on a daily basis and your shoes don’t cost at least 500 dollars a pair, you are selling yourself short.

    3. avatar Kaveman atx says:

      I’m sure he gives great fellatio to placate the “intruder”.

      Make love not war I’m sure he’d say

    4. avatar James says:

      Wrong again. His modern man won’t try to fight off the intruder. He’ll beg the intruder to take what the intruder wants and leave. He’ll be tied up and beaten before being forced to watch the intruder rape his wife. His only chance against the intruder is that his wife is one tough mean cookie and fights the intruder off herself.

      1. avatar Ragnarredbeard says:

        I suspect his wife already wears the pants in the family. He’s not gonna be tied up and forced to watch; he’ll be the star of the party.

      2. avatar notalima says:

        He will pee on the intruder, throw up on the intruder, and/or claim he is pregnant.

    5. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      Seeing as how the ‘modern man’ has no need for a gun, his wife will be raped and murdered after his feeble attempt at fighting off an armed home invader results in him getting gutted like a catfish.

  6. avatar JohnO_inTX says:

    These same metrosexuals will be cowering and whining for the government to come save them when they are in trouble. In a free country they are free to believe as they wish, but so am I. If you do not want a gun that is fine. However, do not move to disarm others.

  7. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    I guess I’m retro.

    1. avatar Katy says:

      The word you are looking for is traditional.

      Seriously though, Kenneth Cole? Everybody knows that a real man wears either boots (blue collar) or Allen Edmonds (white collar). Kenneth Cole is for the types that buy for today. Real men buy for the next twenty years.

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        I like retro. They just don’t make men like they used to.

        My boots, like much of my wardrobe say ‘Carhartt’ on them. I do have a nice pair of dress shoes (I have no idea the brand). Every man should have a decent suit for weddings and funerals, although I try to avoid the former.

  8. avatar Adrik says:

    Should just call that article 27 ways to never get laid again , ever

    1. avatar Pwrserge says:

      I don’t know, he might catch some borderline lesbians.

      1. avatar Pyratemime says:

        Or a bear or two…

      2. avatar dh34 says:

        He’d be better off just having a full on bull dyke move in with him. Someone has to wear the pants in the family.

  9. avatar LC Judas says:

    Comes off like a joke. Melon baller? Good for denucleiation…not much else unless you really like round bits of fruit.

    Cola? I don’t drink any of that garbage. Combined with guns, I guess I’m from 1910. Damn.

  10. avatar ANdrew Lias says:

    The idea the modern man actually even gets a physical newspaper is absurd. With garbage like this no wonder the Internet is putting them out of business.

    I will say that if I was this sort of person, I’d probably cry often too. A shell of a person left behind in the decadence of society.

  11. avatar Chip Bennett says:

    That list is a Beta Male Pajama Boy wet dream.

    But this one jumps out at me, for the irony:

    16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.

    Juxtaposed with:

    25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.

    The modern man must have a steady supply of NDAIDs, to deal with the cognitive dissonance-induced headaches.

    1. avatar Salvatore says:

      Another contradiction:

      23. The modern man has all of Michael Mann’s films on Blu-ray (or whatever the highest quality thing is at the time).

      Really? I can’t picture this guy watching Heat, Last of the Mahicans, or Collateral. What a joke.

  12. avatar bearclawed says:

    So this nobody whom I have never heard of is giving man advice huh? I’ll stick to my reputable source and skill number 87 (Shoot a Gun);


    1. avatar MattG says:

      If this were Reddit, I would upvote you for linking Art of Manliness. Several years ago they had a pretty good piece (pun not intended!) of how to clean a revolver, with good pictures and a good video accompaniment.


    2. avatar VTAero says:

      AoM is great. I’ve tried a lot of things thanks to them. Like shaving with a straight razor. Although now I go full tactical beard so no need for that.

      1. avatar Former Water Walker says:

        Not sure about the art of manliness. MY son wrote an article for them. Despite carrying a gun in the mideast as a soldier,being a spy for DoD and traveling the world as a gubmint agent he won’t have a gun in the house and thinks gun rights should be highly restricted. He also stated he disagrees with me 97% of the time.(That’s real bad). And LOVES Maryland. And his wife does Muy Thai so I guess that’s good enough to protect my 3 grandkids…in no way is he metro sexy but drank the left koolaid.

    3. avatar Jerrick says:

      AoM is legit. One of my favorite websites.

      1. avatar Art out West says:

        I also enjoy AOM

  13. avatar Roy says:

    Great, the effiminate panzies want to define manliness now.

    I’m 30ish years old, and I may or may not be able to hold my own in hand to hand combat with an attacker. But to be honest with you… I don’t want to have to hold my own against a knife attacker who breaks the effiminate panzies laws of manliness by carrying a weapon. Knife fights aren’t interesting to me. I’d like to avoid one and just shoot my attacker.

    1. avatar dh34 says:

      I think in their concept of modern man, hand to hand combat is a slap fight.

      1. avatar mark s. says:

        I know it is funny and sounds re dick clue less but from what I have observed recently , last few years here in WV , this actually does describe a lot of the young men I’ve encountered , and it scares the bejusius out of me .
        Not a comforting condition to afflict our culture at this time particularly , or ever .
        I have a little hope that if SHTF , these clueless dudettes will step up and meet their challenges .

  14. avatar Stan says:

    Whoa, totally Liberace gay.

  15. avatar dh34 says:

    Modern man huh?

    Well life is tough, it’s even tougher when you’re stupid…or unskilled and unprepared.

  16. avatar mike oregon says:

    My opinion, A real man or woman doesn’t let current trends define or control who they are or what to care about.

  17. avatar Patrick says:

    Replace the word “modern” with the word “beta.”

  18. avatar VTAero says:

    He’s got a few good points in there like maybe numbers 4 and 5. Eat your steak fat and dont roam the parking lot.

    However, I think I’ll stick to quoting a different Lombardi…


    1. avatar Chip Bennett says:

      Even then, he mis-spelled filet.

      And since when does beef tenderloin have a fat layer? All the fat in a filet mignon is in the marbling (if the tenderloin is separated/trimmed properly).

      1. avatar VTAero says:

        My favorite cut is the porterhouse, so I get to eat the fat layer buy the filet. I honestly feel that every time they cut a filet it ruins a perfectly good porterhouse. ;-D

        1. avatar Chip Bennett says:

          Give me a ribeye, any day other than Christmas (and then, it’s a standing roast of prime rib).

        2. avatar peirsonb says:

          any day other than Christmas (and then, it’s a standing roast of prime rib).


        3. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

          Bingo. The only steaks in my freezer are rib eyes.

        4. avatar jwtaylor says:

          And here I thought this whole post was worthless. Now you’ve got a steak debate going on, which, of course, is always appropriate.
          But really, there should be no debate. Ribeye.
          Also, DEER SEASON STARTS TOMORROW. So… see you all in March.

        5. avatar mark s. says:

          Wild game is preferable if turned into jerky and smothered in a good recipe .

  19. avatar BLAMMO says:

    They still think the 2nd Amendment is some kind of 18th Century anachronism. In a modern, civilized and enlightened society, people have no need for guns. Of course, you’d have to willfully ignore how the 20th Century was the best yet for brutal tyrants and dictators; and that they were only defeated by force of arms.

    Not to mention, the 21st Century is starting out like gangbusters for brutal tyrants and dictators.

    1. avatar Kent W says:

      I live in the S.F. Bay Area. I attended an Appleseed Shoot in Castro Valley about 30 miles east of SF and there were 10 or 12 guys from SF City also attending. I was talking to one of them about living in the City and owning guns and he told me he couldn’t tell any of his friends that he owned guns because he thought he might loose their friendship.

      1. avatar Chris T from KY says:

        You have met the people who helped disarm San Francisco and close the last gun store in the city.

    1. avatar Chip Bennett says:

      So much win. NRO wins all the internets today (or yesterday, I suppose).

  20. avatar William says:

    Can’t stand to read that crap. Signal-to-noise ratio is to low.

  21. avatar Rambeast says:

    Kinda like this guy:

    A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and goods and finds a young couple in bed.

    He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:

    “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”

    To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

    1. avatar Right to arm Bears says:

      Ha Ha Ha! Nailed it!

  22. avatar James says:

    I couldn’t care less if I meet this simp’s definition of a modern man. He can consider me a cro-magnon man if it makes him feel superior.

    I AM A GOOD MAN. And furthermore, I will die to protect my wife, children, family, and friends if necessary. But dying isn’t in my plan so I’ll be bringing a firearm with me since it either levels the battlefield or gives me an advantage that allows myself and those I care about to walk away alive.

  23. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    ‘1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.’

    How in the hell is a heterosexual male supposed to know which shoes do or don’t make his wife’s ass look fat? Stay away from women’s fashion, if you get it you’re living a lie.

    1. avatar troutbum5 says:

      I don’t even try to buy clothes for my wife. Jewelry, gadgets, and GUNS. Hard to go wrong that way.

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        I thought guns were gadgets and jewelry at the same time. Come to think of it; 28 – A modern man buys his wife a Beretta PX4 Storm subcompact and takes her to the range every couple of weeks to teach her how to be proficient with it.

  24. avatar Fred says:

    This “article” has nothing to do with “the modern man”. It’s just a self-appreciation piece. Look at number nine, “9. Having a daughter makes the modern man more of a complete person. He learns new stuff every day.”
    Apparently you aren’t a modern man if you don’t have a daughter.
    All he’s doing is listing things about himself and in typical liberal fashion asserts everyone must be just like him.

    1. avatar Another Robert says:

      I don’t think I have ever seen a nail hit so squarely on the head.

      1. avatar mark s. says:

        That hit the bulls eye like a Noreen high caliber rifle at 1000 yards , dead on .

    2. avatar pg2 says:

      The whole piece is anti-male propaganda/social conditioning. Why is any mention of a son excluded?

  25. avatar General Zod says:

    Who is this Kenneth Cole and why should I trust his shoes more than my steel toed Wolverines? For that matter, who is this Brian Lombardi imbecile who writes about things (manliness) he obviously has no experience with?

  26. avatar peirsonb says:

    I would offer, in rebuttal, the entire contents of:


  27. avatar Trevor says:

    If the “Modern Man” has all of Micheal Manns movies on Blue Ray, then Im pretty sure he owns a gun or two.

  28. avatar DaveL says:

    I’m sure this “Modern Man” needs a whole bunch of outdated “Throwback Men” capable of raising the cattle that produce his steak and the leather for his Kenneth Cole oxfords, cutting and milling the lumber for his hardwood floors, and wielding the guns he has no use for. Because he sure as smegma isn’t able to do it himself.

  29. avatar Glenn says:

    “The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.”
    Except when he does.

    This “modern man” that the NYT author is referring to is an
    Emasculated Man and I predict is an Endangered Species.

  30. avatar PATRON49 IFT says:

    Ah yes, the NYT. Stopped reading this fish wrapper many years ago. When I want news I go to a news source, of which there are many. When I want editorialized news I read rags such as NYT or listen to NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC or any network newscast.

    As I told my daughter when she was young, news is a product that is sold for advertising over the air. Someone somewhere (usually NYC and Washington DC) decides what stories will make it on the air, how it will be presented, which slant to use to promote a particular point of view. More importantly, someone also decides what will not be presented nationally. Like the Planned Parenthood story currently being talked about. The networks seem to have very little interest in this story. Just one of many not reported,

    As others have said, ‘At the end of the world their headline would be “World to end tomorrow, women and minorities hardest hit”.

  31. avatar Silver says:

    The NYT talking about being a man, rofl

    Apparently, the NYT’s Modern Man doesn’t love himself or his family enough to protect them, is too stupid to understand that preparation is common sense, and is a quivering coward at the sight of a metal tool.

    That’s not the Modern Man. That’s the Leftist Man.

  32. avatar fishydude says:

    NYT: Modern man has no use for his testicles. He lives in an apartment overlooking Central Park, in a building with armed security.
    If his drain is clogged he just calls a knuckle dragger with testicles to fix it.
    He doesn’t need his testicles because his wife can choose better sperm at a sperm bank.
    He does need his testicles because they will just disappear after a decade or so of apartment dwelling anyway.

    1. avatar pg2 says:

      Ha, right on!

  33. avatar Glenn says:

    I think the “modern man” still knows the essential need to learn Self-Defense either armed or unarmed.

    He has a gun and is not afraid to use it if the situation arises.

    There is a website dedicated to the Art of Manliness.

    Podcast #129: Competition Gun Shooting & Self-Defense with Mike Seeklander


  34. avatar fishydude says:

    And that one about flowers? My wofe would be PO’d if I wasted money on store flowers.
    But a box of Hornady Lite 9mm? That would make her smile.

  35. avatar GS650G says:

    When a large criminal with a gun is standing over Mr. Lombardi I bet that rule goes out the window pretty quick in his mind.

  36. avatar pg2 says:

    Reminds me the old Twilight Zone episode, “The Obsolete Man”. The powers that be are winning this long term social conditioning war against liberty, despite the hubris often seen on this forum claiming otherwise. Just yesterday posters here were claiming that collectivism and individual liberties were essentially the same…nothing could be further from the truth.

  37. avatar Fred says:

    Consider this collection of opinions in the grander scope of the trans/gay movement, anti-bullying sentiment, anti-gun slant, and all other arms of the war on responsibility. According to this men should be more like women, they should be further removed from where their food comes from or any physical exertion in any way. As the myth goes, progress means the physical capabilities of a man are no longer useful and only brain power is important and culture and fashion are a false sign of intellectual sophistication. The movement is that men don’t have to be men and the war on responsibility wins when men ignore their responsibilities.

    I must note I feel communication skills are important. On a radio program recently I heard something I agree with, that violence enters when there is a lack of communication skills and personal introspection. Part of that violence is acting out personal issues with violence instead of dealing with it, but it’s a man’s responsibility to deal with his issues and not spread them around to everyone around them.

    The truth is, physical capabilities are still useful and attractive to the other sex (if you care about that). Anecdotal note incoming: in a recent talk with a “modern man” ( 26 year old hipster and self-proclaimed wine and cigar aficionado) I found out the “dad bod”, with a flabby front, pale skin, and generally looking shabby was in and “the ladies love it”, as my wife shook her head and walked away. She said later “don’t ever get a ‘dad bod’, I don’t like fat guys (no offense to seasoned ‘dad bod’ members of our community). As much as hipsters and “modern men” say something is popular they’re really just trying to justify their own deficiencies and oddities as normal and good.

    1. avatar DevilNuts says:

      “Dad bod” is just a new age hipster term for a guy who has kids and is not in the best shape, like 15-20 pounds overweight (which I’d say the majority of men are).That’s all it is.

  38. avatar Parnell says:

    Having read the entire list I’d say much of it applies to any decent man,modern or otherwise. The part about the gun only applies to the emasculated “modern” male.

  39. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

    “25. The modern man has no use for a gun. He doesn’t own one, and he never will.
    26. The modern man cries. He cries often.”

    While the Second Amendment is a persuasive reminder of the First Amendment, #26 is a pathetic confessor of #25.

    1. avatar Fred says:

      Speaking of the Constitution, the modern man has at least one use for a gun: to fulfill his Constitutional and Citizenship responsibility as a part of the militia, of which every able-bodied male between 17 and 45 is a part of according to the US Code (revised last in 1993). Those conducting the war on responsibility would like us to all ignore that in conjunction with the Second Amendment.

      That is, of course, unless the modern man wants to live in a more “modern” country that doesn’t have this responsibility written into the US Code and Constitution.

  40. avatar pg2 says:

    Would love to see an article on the modern woman….can only imagine.

  41. avatar James says:

    That was truly awful, glad i chose not to live in nyc. Modern mans wife must pee standing up.

  42. avatar BDB says:

    How does this “modern man” generate sufficient testosterone to generate sperm and reproduce?

    1. avatar Jonathan - Houston says:

      Good question. Since hunting & gathering duties, family security, lawn care and vehicle maintenance responsibilities seem all to have been handed off to various other men, perhaps modern man’s modern woman outsources that job, too?

    2. avatar pg2 says:

      He doesn’t. That’s a critical part of the program.

  43. avatar SuperG says:

    …another victim tries to inculcate others into his delusion. Those that buy into the idea qill be victims at some point too.

  44. avatar W. Cisneros says:

    The “modern man” only reads the NYT’s on TTAG!

  45. avatar Cknarf says:

    Pffft. I’ll be damned if I let someone tell ME how to eat my $30 popcorn lol.

  46. avatar Raul Ybarra says:

    Just remember that the NYT definition of the “modern man” is exemplified by Bruce Jenner.

  47. avatar Puckettmania says:

    The modern man hasn’t paid a truck note in over three years because the one he has runs just fine, despite the faded paint, high miles, various dents and scratches.
    He also carries. Daily.

    1. avatar Art out West says:

      What is this “truck note” that you speak of?

      I’ve never borrowed money for a vehicle, and never intend too (never bought guns on credit either). I did wimp out and took a mortgage for the house, but it has been paid off for a couple years now. Debt sucks. Cash in your pocket rocks.

      1. avatar Art out West says:

        Sorry about the “too” where I meant “to”. Typo

  48. avatar Kevin says:

    I think they are talking about the Eloi in HG Wells story “The Time Machine”.

    I lean more Morloc, (less the cannibalism) soooo…….. not really interested.

  49. avatar TravisP says:

    Modern Beta male there I fixed it

  50. avatar William says:

    At the risk of having MY Man Card pulled, by the end of this article I was already starting this guys theme song. I think Gilbert & Sullivan would agree that Mr. Lobardi is indeed “The very model of a modern metrosexual”.

  51. avatar Ralph says:

    Brian Lombardi’s “modern man” owns nail polish and Midol.

    1. avatar Cknarf says:

      Hey man, I like to keep mine clean with a little bit of clear sometimes. So sue me.

  52. avatar Steve in TX says:

    26. The modern man cries. He cries often.

    I bet he does.

  53. avatar Bdk NH says:

    This sort of deluded view of manhood is what you get from a generation of men raised by woman in a culture that aggressively shames manly traits and activities. Thankfully, while there may a sizable contingent of them, they tend to be geographically concentrated.

    The simple solution is to be a man and raise your boys to be men.

  54. avatar Ing says:

    Ha! I saw that headline on the NYT website and didn’t click — figured an article on that topic in the New York Times had to be full of crap, and it looks like I was right.

  55. avatar Nick says:

    about the only one i could deal with is # 23. Heat, Miami Vice, & Collateral I could watch a few times.

  56. avatar Nate says:

    “He doesn’t own one” That you know of at least….

  57. avatar Howdy says:

    Rule # 28: Keep it to yourself.

  58. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    A modern man doesn’t need some metrosexual (whatever the hell that is) telling him how white his shirts should be….
    (Apologies to the Rolling Stones.)

  59. avatar Dave in SoCal says:

    Here’s an even better fisking of the list. Particularly #16, #25 & #26.
    (It helps to download it and zoom in).

  60. avatar Pete in Alaska says:

    Maybe we are missing an opportunity here!! Perhaps we should look at the NYT published artical and position and this guys “list of ideas” as a filter to identify an help locate all the losers, male and female, that will need to be avoided when SHTF, in whatever form that may appear in.
    May be helpful to know who, what, and were to avoid! The wussy deniers and nasayers will be a dangerous aspect of the future because they will panic first with no thought of the consequences and when in mass, panicked, with little or no direction, unable to find help THEY will want to vet avoided. Think of THEM as our “interference” while WE, the better prepared an aware, make our escape or bunker up to ride it out. There is always heavy colleratral damage at the beginning of a … extreme event … such as social upheaval or the downfall of culture as we know it. Massive natural disaster falls into this catagory someplace too. I was always under the impression that one should understand and use the tool that are provided.
    Of course, we could just presume this gentleman and his herd are simply of low intellegence and only can see and think what their told to, in capable of an original thought of their own. …….. I could be wrong ….. Hahahahahahahahahahaha, NOT.

  61. avatar Anonymoose says:

    The “modern man” enjoys his mistress’s strapon without shame.

  62. avatar Lurker_of_lurkiness says:

    I’m a 22 year old software engineer, so about a modern man as can be.

    This list is garbage, the author was probably a lame underwater basket sexuality studies major.

  63. avatar The Trouble with Timbo says:

    Apparently the writer believes all modern men have vaginas.

  64. avatar The Trouble with Timbo says:

    25. The real man will defend his loved ones with a gun and his life and preferably the bad guy’s life. If he is not considered “modern” by girly men for this, so be it.

  65. avatar Paelorian says:

    So teleological.

    I guess by “Modern Man” he means himself. His “Modern Man” is a ‘effing douchebag. “The modern man has thought seriously about buying a shoehorn.” But he hasn’t made a decision yet. Thanks for telling us. And he knows which brands of women’s shoes run big and small when he buys his wife’s shoes (I guess she doesn’t care about comfort or fashion). I don’t, and I’m not married. I guess that makes me a caveman. The “Modern Man” will also kick you out of his house for asking for a Mountain Dew. If someone did that to me, I’d feel like introducing the Modern Man to the Modern Technique.

  66. avatar Right to arm Bears says:

    Modern man= Girley man

  67. avatar jwm says:

    So modern man is Caitlen Jenner?

  68. avatar FelixD says:

    This is an attempt by a metro-sexual trapped behind the “corn curtain” in DeKalb Illinois to become relevant. It must be hard to be a liberal with only the hogs to hear you. I wonder what the bumper stickers say on the back of his Subaru?

  69. isn’t Jenner a modern “man” . Brian L is a fool I think a real man will protect what is his.
    No double standards put the DC politicians on Obamacare and SS.Thanks for your support and vote.Pass the word. mrpresident2016.com

  70. avatar Chris T from KY says:

    It is a good thing this homosexual man does not have a gun. He does not have the mental state to keep and handle a firearm arm safely. Some men are not suited for having a gun. He is one of them.

    He will rely on rough men who are standing ready to do violence in his defense when he calls them. And yes some of those rough men are gay.

  71. avatar Anonymous says:

    27 ways to be a modern man…

    Cry a lot? Little spoon???

    Should have been titled “27 ways to be a modern effeminate beta male”

  72. avatar AdamTA1 says:

    I couldn’t get halfway through it. Stupidest crap I’ve ever read.

  73. avatar ThePontificator says:

    The author of this list steps out of the shower to piss. I guess that’s rule no. 28.

    1. avatar Nick says:

      My new favorite.

  74. avatar A-Rod says:

    I’d rather this be my list – A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
    -Robert A. Heinlein

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