OK, your long gun personality. This was posted at the Spikes Tactical book of faces page (h/t DrVino). Here are the blurbs in a more readable type size:
Almost invariably a manchild with delusions of imitating tier 1 SF, thousands of dollars of gear that will die to a $0.30 bullet
A relic who’s still living in the 80s bush wars, often in short shorts and obsessed with painting a rifle in turquoise and babyshit yellow.
An unwashed gremlin who looks up to slavic troglodytes. The most likely to kill you for a can of beans or your shoes.
An intellectually challenged hick who equates war with deer hunting. Sadly one of the most likely to actually be able to use his weapon properly.
Either a vet who thinks 5.56 is a passing fad or a bench queen who has never had to walk more than 20 meters with this rifle.
A juvenile living out zombie fantasies, eager to tell everyone about their doomsday prepping as seen on TV.
Cowboy reject that can’t identify anything on a map beyond his county. Every southern stereotype come to life.
The worst kind of try-hard, ready to whine for days about the superiority of the round, yet a poor marksman due to the sheer cost of feeding the weapon.
Airshitting babies who spend their parents’ money on a plastic monstrosity. All of their flecktarn is made in China.
A miserly cretin who believes everything on TV and can probably be found defending a certain country online.
Covered head to toe in MOLLE and an admin pouch with Mom’s cell number to pick him up from another D&D game.
99% of people with this rifle are willing to max out 3 credit cards to destroy old appliances in the desert; the other 1% are gay.
Beretta CX4 Storm
Only used by those who served aboard the Battlestar Galactica, and people who couldn’t afford a real MP5.
Favored by convict monkeys and those who build sex dungeons under their house, still likely to actually know how to shoot.
Now that the age of Soldiers of Fortune is dead, this is only used by ghetto trash and those who aspire to be ghetto trash.
Inevitably there will be one asshole who thinks their .22 in a tactical stock is a valid weapon. The first to die.
An autist dressed in a gorka mountain suit quaffing vodka to stem the tears of not having a real Dragunov.
If accompanied by a databook and Kestrel, this is a dangerous customer. Most are only a shift rifle dropped into an AICS.
An astronaut capable of employing kraut space magic, understands more than you could possibly know.
Expert operator possessed by the souls of dead soldiers, a living conduit to the Murdercube’s will. Neither living nor dead.