Question of the Day: In Whose Direction Would You Point This Gun?

July 28, 2014

You don’t have to know much about history to be aware of the centuries-old enmity that exists between the U.K. and their neighbors across the channel. Which explains why even now, in the 21st century after all the wars and insults, proud Brit Colin Furze felt compelled to construct something designed to hurl more than just epithets in the general direction of the French. He used a pulse jet-powered fart gun (held in place by a set of appropriately pasty giant buttocks) to hurl flaming flatulence at England’s froggy neighbors. And that got us thinking. If you read yesterday’s post listing some of the more noxious gun-grabbers who roam the land of the free and the home of the brave, you’re aware there’s no shortage of fart-worthy eminences on this side of the pond. If you had your own flaming fart gun (and had paid the required $200 tax stamp, of course) in whose direction would you fire it?

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56 COMMENTS

Dark July 28, 2014 At 12:04

You.
- Dan Zimmerman July 28, 2014 At 12:07
  
  Fair enough.
  - BonesMcCoy July 28, 2014 At 12:11
    
    Don’t worry, Dan. I’d jump in front of that gun, and take the shot for you 🙂
    
    *slaps Dark in face*
pwrserge July 28, 2014 At 12:05

Does it even require a tax stamp? Technically, it does not fire a “projectile”…
- Brian in WI July 28, 2014 At 12:31
  
  Well sometimes you think it’s just a fart…
- Layne July 28, 2014 At 13:15
  
  Nope, flamethrowers are completely unregulated in the US, although you could probably get into trouble pretty easily if you used one improperly.
KingSarc48265 July 28, 2014 At 12:05

I thought that it was the French that farted in the general direction of the British. This was typically before they launched cows at them.
- Vhyrus July 28, 2014 At 12:25
  
  In typical British fashion, it only took them 40 years to return fire.
LongBeach July 28, 2014 At 12:05

I’d be in a holding pattern around Feinstein’s witch-lair.
- GWHNick July 28, 2014 At 12:08
  
  I will join you and flank the rear.
  - Gunr July 28, 2014 At 12:14
    
    How about we set up several hundred of these things all around her place, and when she comes out of her lair, fire them all at once!
  - angryAZ July 28, 2014 At 12:23
    
    I am going no where near Sweinsteins Rear…….
    - Gunr July 28, 2014 At 13:17
      
      Coward!
    - MacBeth51 July 28, 2014 At 17:33
      
      +1
- dh34 July 28, 2014 At 12:32
  
  This is a Weapon of @ss Destruction…. Feinstein is an @ss of Weapon Destruction.
Renegade Dave July 28, 2014 At 12:08

Questing kings or errant Knights inquiring about a grail. In that case, I would fire it in their general direction.
rob July 28, 2014 At 12:10

Seems like a lot of work when I can manage something similar with chili cabbage and some beer.
LarryinTX July 28, 2014 At 12:10

I’m not recalling fart guns in the NFA.
Ralph July 28, 2014 At 12:12

Catchy tune. Is Michael Moore French? ‘Cause his wife is farting at him right now. After the divorce case is finished, the poor b@stard might be down to his last five houses.
Jim R July 28, 2014 At 12:14

I’m kind of a jackass, so my answer to “where would I aim it” is probably…yes.
Gene July 28, 2014 At 12:17

Obligitory.

Monty Python’s “I fart in your general direction”.
NYC2AZ July 28, 2014 At 12:18

Is this TTAG or a Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire movie advertisement?
Mediocrates July 28, 2014 At 12:19

Rachel Mad-cow, because, you know, cows are responsible for most of the obnoxious gases on the planet.
- Michael B. July 28, 2014 At 12:24
  
  Rachel Mad-”cow”? How dare you say something so misogynistic!
  
  [ Insert four paragraph bossy rant here. ]
Wes S. July 28, 2014 At 12:22

Call me misanthropic…but in my current mood, I’m wanting something with a full 360° of coverage. These days, America is a target-rich environment…
the ruester July 28, 2014 At 12:26

I don’t know about farts, but it would be nice if we could set some butts on fire in November.
GReg July 28, 2014 At 12:31

Well, I’ll be the first…Obama.
PeterK July 28, 2014 At 12:31

Pulse jets seems fun. This is a good use of one, haha.
Renegade Dave July 28, 2014 At 12:33

Wow. Lots of Monty Python fans.
Great Scot July 28, 2014 At 12:34

The general direction of the English… Let’s face it, Wales is the only neighbour of England that does not bear significant ill-will towards them 😉
Probably Dianne Feinstein, as she becomes a pain in the proverbial explosive arse when she bangs on about how guns are ‘evil’.
- Gunr July 28, 2014 At 13:20
  
  Maybe we will get lucky, and she will get infected with Ebola.
  - Jus Bill July 28, 2014 At 18:40
    
    She will infect Ebola, more likely.
Michael in GA July 28, 2014 At 12:39

I.R.S
juliesa July 28, 2014 At 12:41

Mr. Bloomberg. My husband and the larger of my two dogs could each outdo that giant gizmo, awesome as it is.
Bob Wall July 28, 2014 At 12:43

And, he could carry it in this – the Fart Car…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUKolh8Q9hA
Geoff PR July 28, 2014 At 12:52

There’s no tax stamp necessary for a pulse-jet!

Yet.

(Sigh)
Raul Ybarra July 28, 2014 At 12:56

ah, the French would merely taunt them a second time. Now if they had a gunn that could launch shrubberies at them, give me a call.
Paul B July 28, 2014 At 13:13

Washington….Make up for some of the shxxt they are shoveling our way.
Kevin L July 28, 2014 At 13:16

I was going to join the Feinstein train but f*ck Bloomberg. HIM, WITHOUT A DOUBT.
CA.Ben July 28, 2014 At 13:18

ATF. The entire ATF.
Eric July 28, 2014 At 13:19

I’d aim it straight at Washington D.C.
John L. July 28, 2014 At 13:20

“No … I said *dart* gu… Oh, never mind.”

– Gru, Despicable Me
dh34 July 28, 2014 At 14:00

Alderaan.
Southern Cross July 28, 2014 At 14:19

My targets are Shannon Watts and her lord and master Citizen Bloomberg.
DavyJones July 28, 2014 At 14:21

Oh my Gherd! Hez driving on te wrong side of the road! Haha;)
Former Water Walker July 28, 2014 At 14:21

Little hitler,,,er Bloomie. Is he still hanging out inviting Hamas to rocket his a$$?
- Javier July 28, 2014 At 21:39
  
  Hope springs eternal!
Gregolas July 28, 2014 At 14:28

Not at the French. With their hygiene, how would they notice?
Tom in Oregon July 28, 2014 At 14:57

News flash!!!!
The French just surrendered to Great Britain.
Again
- dh34 July 28, 2014 At 15:17
  
  From “A Bridge Too Far”
  
  “We haven’t got the facilities to take you all prisoner. Sorry!”
Tim in WA July 28, 2014 At 15:11

I would drink a high capacity soda with a burrito and then shoot it at Bloomberg.
Excedrine July 28, 2014 At 17:16

Washington, D.C., the seat of all current societal ills in the United States since 1871.
Phil July 28, 2014 At 19:40

G20 summit, IRS, Federal Reserve, IMF, Washington, D.C., Hollywood, Wall Street and Middle East (pretty most of places source of current evilness)… and of course back to the UK, Ha!
Javier July 28, 2014 At 21:38

I was wondering if this is what people mean when they say someone is a flaming a$$whole?
Full Cleveland July 28, 2014 At 22:28

I think we can make some dough with this thing at the next “Burning Man” gathering.
Duzt July 28, 2014 At 23:15

Upstate says right @ Cuomo, followed shortly thereafter with the only thing capable of bringing down the Rabbit of Caerbannog. the Holy hand grenade of antioch!