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You don’t have to know much about history to be aware of the centuries-old enmity that exists between the U.K. and their neighbors across the channel. Which explains why even now, in the 21st century after all the wars and insults, proud Brit Colin Furze felt compelled to construct something designed to hurl more than just epithets in the general direction of the French. He used a pulse jet-powered fart gun (held in place by a set of appropriately pasty giant buttocks) to hurl flaming flatulence at England’s froggy neighbors. And that got us thinking. If you read yesterday’s post listing some of the more noxious gun-grabbers who roam the land of the free and the home of the brave, you’re aware there’s no shortage of fart-worthy eminences on this side of the pond. If you had your own flaming fart gun (and had paid the required $200 tax stamp, of course) in whose direction would you fire it?

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    • Nope, flamethrowers are completely unregulated in the US, although you could probably get into trouble pretty easily if you used one improperly.

  1. I thought that it was the French that farted in the general direction of the British. This was typically before they launched cows at them.

  2. Questing kings or errant Knights inquiring about a grail. In that case, I would fire it in their general direction.

  3. Seems like a lot of work when I can manage something similar with chili cabbage and some beer.

  4. Catchy tune. Is Michael Moore French? ‘Cause his wife is farting at him right now. After the divorce case is finished, the poor b@stard might be down to his last five houses.

  5. Rachel Mad-cow, because, you know, cows are responsible for most of the obnoxious gases on the planet.

    • Rachel Mad-”cow”? How dare you say something so misogynistic!

      [ Insert four paragraph bossy rant here. ]

  6. Call me misanthropic…but in my current mood, I’m wanting something with a full 360° of coverage. These days, America is a target-rich environment…

  7. I don’t know about farts, but it would be nice if we could set some butts on fire in November.

  8. The general direction of the English… Let’s face it, Wales is the only neighbour of England that does not bear significant ill-will towards them 😉
    Probably Dianne Feinstein, as she becomes a pain in the proverbial explosive arse when she bangs on about how guns are ‘evil’.

  9. Mr. Bloomberg. My husband and the larger of my two dogs could each outdo that giant gizmo, awesome as it is.

  10. Little hitler,,,er Bloomie. Is he still hanging out inviting Hamas to rocket his a$$?

    • From “A Bridge Too Far”

      “We haven’t got the facilities to take you all prisoner. Sorry!”

  11. Washington, D.C., the seat of all current societal ills in the United States since 1871.

  12. G20 summit, IRS, Federal Reserve, IMF, Washington, D.C., Hollywood, Wall Street and Middle East (pretty most of places source of current evilness)… and of course back to the UK, Ha!

  13. I was wondering if this is what people mean when they say someone is a flaming a$$whole?

  14. I think we can make some dough with this thing at the next “Burning Man” gathering.

  15. Upstate says right @ Cuomo, followed shortly thereafter with the only thing capable of bringing down the Rabbit of Caerbannog. the Holy hand grenade of antioch!

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