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Editor’s note: This article has been updated with additional comments and clarifications from Redondo Beach Police Department spokesman Sgt. Shawn Freeman.” That heads-up from, sitting just below the headline Assault Rifle Discovery Leads to Evacuation, tells us we’re in for a classic OMG. The copy does not disappoint. “An assault rifle that caused the evacuation of several homes in South Redondo Beach on Thursday morning belonged to a member of a federal law enforcement agency under the Homeland Security umbrella, according to a spokesman for the Redondo Beach Police Department.” Did I lie? The cops evacuated “several” homes in one of America’s most expensive communities because of an “assault rifle” that was “lost” by an unnamed cop from an unnamed federal agency. I know you can read, but I’m in love. OK, the deets . . .

Police evacuated multiple residences in the 400 block of North Broadway after a neighbor inadvertently brought home the government-issued assault rifle, said Sgt. Shawn Freeman.

The resident found a case that looked like a carrying case for a musical instrument in the open area near Broadway and Vincent Street, and brought it home to the 400 block of North Broadway to open it, Sgt. Edward Jackson told Patch.

“When they opened it up, it had an assault rifle in it,” Jackson said.

Police received a call about the rifle at 8:12 a.m., according to Freeman.

At which point all hell broke loose: SWAT team, bomb squad, the works.

Because police didn’t know if explosives were also in the unusual carrying case, officers evacuated surrounding residences as a precaution and called the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department Bomb Squad, Freeman said.

The bomb squad ultimately determined that the package was exactly what it appeared to be once it was opened: a rifle in a case, Jackson said.

This sequence of events occurred because A) the guy who opened the rifle case was a non-gun owning Californian (obvs) which means he couldn’t possibly tell if the case contained a bomb (a bomb!) as well as a rifle, B) terrorists often pack explosives in a rifle case (right next to the rifle), and C) no one ever loses a rifle in rifle case (so it must be terrorist plot). Only . . . a cop lost a rifle in a rifle case.

Odds are we’ll never know which LEO abandoned his or her “assault rifle” causing the expenditure of several thousand dollars in police overtime. In any case (so to speak), this could well be the most perfect OMG to date. So you know it has to end with a “kicker.”

Police confiscated the rifle, and traced its owner, Freeman said. Investigators will determine if the rifle was accidentally left out or if it was stolen from a vehicle once they’ve interviewed the owner.

The resident who found the gun will not face charges, Jackson said.

I wonder how much time the resident spent in the prone position and how his dog escaped the inevitable . . .

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  1. Should have just been, “Oh, great. You just saved [insert DHS brownshirt’s name here] bacon. We’ll send someone over to pick it up.”

    • An assault rifle? That means it was select fire, capable of fully automatic. Did they really mean assault rifle which is actually a meaningful term, or did they mean “assault weapon” which is a political term, therefore meaningless.

      As we all know, most, if not all MSM reporters refuse to acknowledge the difference.

  2. I too often pick up and take home strange cases to open them.

    But seriously, evacuating because of a rifle? Are you f–king kidding me?

    • I’ve retrieved a cooler or two on the side of the road that have blown out of boats being trailered.
      Never as “lucky” as this guy though.

      And yes, what would the charges be for finding and reporting a rifle?

      • Under California “law” they could probably charge him with illegal possession of a selective fire firearm, full capacity magazines, a gun with a pistol grip and a mag well that takes detachable magazines and a collapsing stock, and unregistered lead ammo (probably some of those armor-piercing hollow-point cop-killers).

    • I sat in traffic for three hours on northbound I-5 in Los Angeles one time only to find out that traffic was stopped while HazMat checked out a suspicious cloud of white powder in the northbound lanes, level-4 ebola security suits and all. They finally determined that it was a 100 lb. sack of bleached flour that had fallen off some bakery truck.

      • I feel dumber just for having read that.

        And we are the country that defeated the German and Japanese empires in WWII and put a man on the moon. Men and women of courage must be doing 78 rpm in their graves right now.

    • I did not use to. But I sure will now. I first thought would have been “Thank you God from whom all blessings flow.

  3. Lucky they didn’t loose it in my neck of the woods, cause some country boy woulda just got himself a new squirrel gun!

  4. Is the Crayola Crayon moon walk in the background part of the break out equipment of the Redumbo Po-Po S.W.A.T. team?

  5. To quote Yakko Warner: “Wow, dumber than advertised.”
    That’s what goes through my head as I desperately cling to my happy thoughts: my kids and the fact that here in WA state pot and Gay marriage are legal. So I’m a ‘Desperate Clinger’, as opposed to a ‘Bitter Clinger’. Hopefully that doesn’t get me any of that Dem. ‘new liberal’ bigotry. “He doesn’t panic at the sight of guns, he must be one of _them_.” “But he supports Gay marriage and legalizing pot!” “I know, I know. It’s sooooo confusing!”

    I wonder if the evacuees hung out in the bouncy house in the background. Children love them.

    • Right there with you man. People hate talking politics with me because I don’t roll a party line.

  6. Man… calling the police (or any other government agency for that matter) if I found that rifle would be the last thing on my mind… dump the case, and check the gun/mags for anything with an antenna and a blinking light, and BAM! new rifle for me!!!

  7. Kind of reminds me of the stainless steel rat’s philosophy. Provides lots of excitement and fun, and a chance to use all that neato equipment.

  8. They’ll feel a little sheepish for a few weeks or until the paycheck with the overtime clears, whichever comes first.

    • Not really only stupidity; also the orchestrated FEAR. Those people seem like they would call 911 if they saw their own shadow cuz it was dark and frightening. OMG!!!!!

  9. “The resident who found the gun will not face charges…”

    Maybe it’s just dullness on my part, but I can’t fathom why there was even the slightest need to make that statement. Do people in California routinely face charges for taking home a randomly found bag and then calling the authorities to report what’s in it?

    • Theoretically they could’ve charged him with an assault weapons charge. He had the rifle in his possession, after all. What he should’ve done is left the case on the ground, backed away slowly, and then called the police.

      • Then he should had found the nearest corner, faced it, covered his eyes and sobbed until they came and took the bad thing away.

      • Maybe I’m paranoid, but if I found a rifle like that just lying on the ground, I think I’d take a couple steps back and call the cops. No way would I pick it up and take it home. Given the skeezy shit the ATF is pulling lately, a “Bait Car” type of operation would not surprise me in the least.

        • That thought occurred to me too, since it was under the “Homeland Security umbrella.” You know, DHS. BATFE’s dumber cousin.

  10. I don’t know whether I should delight in that article (in a schadenfreudian sort of way), or just cry a little bit. Damn, California.

  11. Funniest story EVER. This was the killer line: “An assault rifle that caused the evacuation of several homes . . . .”

    The rifle caused the evacuation! Holy crap. Kali has sentient rifles and they’re causing bad things to happen. None of us are safe!

      • I am and I’m not; too many sheeple here in CA have been brainwashed by the politicians and media into hoplophobic frenzied lunacy. It is a never ending fight against a rising tide of totally unwarranted, manufactured hysteria.

        There is no embarrassment to it, rather disgust and outrage. These events tend to really piss one off.

    • There are also at least two Californias, and perhaps three: northern, southern and inland. This was southern.

    • just because you are a gun owner doesn’t mean you help/support the cause to further our 2a rights. many ca gun owners own a revolver that they inherited but would like to see the evil black rifles with bullet buttons outlawed completely.

      • “just because you are a gun owner doesn’t mean you help/support the cause to further our 2a rights. many ca gun owners own a revolver that they inherited but would like to see the evil black rifles with bullet buttons outlawed completely.”

        Well, I sent 25 bucks to CalGuns to fight some new gun control bill – I think it’s the one about that idiot with the “ghost gun.”

        So, I’m allowed to be all smug and superior, because I have actually put my own money where my mouth is, in defense of Liberty.

  12. That sucker would have been in my safe in a heartbeat, especially if it was a full auto. Finders-keepers right?

  13. I’m at a real loss to understand the response. Clearly the weapon undoubtedly was full automatic and a true assault weapon, but I can’t begin to understand that response.
    If I found that type of weapon, the cops might eventually show up, or tell me to bring it to them and meet me out in the parking lot simply so I didn’t have to walk into the police station with it, which there is no way in hell I would do anyway.

    • Around here the cops would have said “Well, is there a name tag or number on it you can call?”

      Our cops aren’t retards.

  14. “The resident who found the gun will not face charges, Jackson said.”

    That was even a possibility?

    • No it’s more like learned, conditioned propaganda mindlessly muttered by the media that serves only to reinforce antigun hysteria.

    • It’s happened in the UK. And presumably could easily happen someplace like New York – Possession of firearm, without a permit.

    • They probably considered a felony charge for “failing to treat a bag left in public as a bomb.” And who could blame them? Finding such an abandoned bag is obviously a SWAT/bomb squad/FBI Counterterrorism unit matter under the Heroic Appearance and Overtime Protection Act.

    • It’s the Man’s way of letting the other citizens know that they cut that guy a break, cause they are full of love for the people. But they want to remind the other little people that they might not be so lucky so don’t go getting any big ideas. Like owning your own gun. Don’t even touch one. Matter of fact don’t even look at one or make pew, pew pew sounds.

  15. Meanwhile, in TX…

    “Hey dude, check it out, there’s an AR in this case.”

    “Wow, neat. Better leave it here so it’s owner can find it once he realizes its gone…”

    “Yeah you’re right. Wanna go to Chuy’s?”

    “F*ck yeah!”

  16. So an innocent citizen was confronted by a rifle in disguise. Before the gun could kill him, single handed (maybe he has 2, I don’t know) and with no thought for his own safety, he secured the gun and called the authorities. The person who answered the 911 call was playing solitaire, but upon hearing the word “gun” panicked, got the address from the E911 system, and spread the panic to co-workers. The NSA heard the word gun and dispatched a drone to isolate the location for an airstrike from waiting B52’s at stand off distance.
    So what are we supposed to be afraid of. A gun, or the “authorities”

  17. So. Let me get this straight. Some unknown schmuck, for lack of a better word, employed by D H S left a cased issued rifle out in an open area. SCHMUCK doesn’t quite cover it does it?
    Some other SCHMUCK takes the case, which first of all doesn’t belong to him, and opens it up to find the unattended to helpless firearm within. So WHY isn’t SCHMUCK #1 not in jail yet? After all if anyone other than DHS, DOJ, CIA, FBI, or any other alphabet soup employees where to leave a cased firearm unattended they would be in hand cuffs and the anti’s would be all over it like flies on turds.

    • So WHY isn’t SCHMUCK #1 not in jail yet?

      if anyone other than DHS, DOJ, CIA, FBI, …

      I think you answered your own question. They enforce the laws, not follow them.

    • A bigger question is why isn’t schmuck number 2 being offered a government position since he is obviously more responsible than schmuck number 1?

  18. “Investigators will determine if the rifle was accidentally left out or the rifle was accidentally left out or if it was stolen from a vehicle once if it was stolen from a vehicle once they’ve interviewed the owner.”

    Objection! Leading the witness!

  19. Dumbassery all around. Whomever lost control of the weapon, the idiot who finds a case and decides to take it home (no lost and found there, eh?), the police who can’t handle the situation without turning it into… well, a situation rather than just a screwup… quite a group effort on this one.

    • You know that dude was like, “This thing sure is heavy! Wonder what could be inside? Bet it’s worth A LOT! I should open it somewhere private…”

      And he was RIGHT! 😉

  20. “Guns don’t cause evacuations. Statist thugs trying to cover for their unjustifiable incompetence cause evacuations.”

    Or how about, “Only the police should have guns lyingaroundinthestreetsoanyonecantakethem.”

  21. Since the resident received a firearm w/o a background check, he really should be prosecuted. And then, some police officer took custody of a rifle, knowing it belonged to a third party – another illegal transfer. Book ’em all, Dano!

  22. One thing I notice is missing from the comments, and even the latter part of Robert’s article, is “the unusual carrying case,” which early on they say “looked like a carrying case for a musical instrument ”

    So I can see where that would raise suspicion, but to me I wonder, what kind of musical instrument? Are they putting their heaters in viola cases again? 😉

    • Big rectangular guitar case? I have double rifle cases that look quite similar. To someone unfamiliar, the rifle case could look like a guitar case, or maybe some DJ equipment…which is “musical”, turntablist is actually a real term today.

    • If you were an intern reporter who had no clue in Hell what a gun case was, it probably would “[look] like a carrying case for a musical instrument” to you. Ignorance is an amazingly profound thing.

  23. My luck I would get it home and instead of a good rifle it would have a murdered midget hooker in it. Try explaining that to the wife. Again.

  24. I see a new reality TV show in the works. Bait Gun. Bait Rifle. America’s Funniest Neglegent Cops.

  25. “Because police didn’t know if explosives were also in the unusual carrying case, ”

    The sheer stupidity of that sentence made me dumber.

  26. Assuming it’s legit, the woman who found the rifle posted comments to the original story, and the paper has posted a follow-up with pictures of the rifle, the case, the magazine, etc.

    According to the woman who found the rifle, the case was ticking — turned out the ticking sound was caused by one of those recordable greeting cards inside the case. Maybe a little more understandable why she and the cops freaked about it, although the editor of the story deserves the scorn she’s getting for suggesting that the cops are magnanimously declining to charge the woman who found the rifle.

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