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Skorpion (courtesy

“Police are hunting three men after officers were fired at with a submachine gun in north-west London,” reports. “At least 14 shots were fired from the automatic weapon at three plain clothes officers who were carrying out inquiries in Willesden.” The bad guy fired at the Old Bill from a Skorpion sub-gun [as above]. “No-one was injured in the incident, but an unmarked police car and street furniture in Mitchell Way were damaged.” While the perp got away scot-free (so to speak) the UK police were very clear about one thing . . .

Detective Inspector Glenn Butler, said: “Enquiries still continue to establish who was the intended target of this firearm discharge but whatever the motive, the actions of this person or persons shows a blatant disregard as anyone could have been injured.”

Armed criminals with a blatant disregard for public safety? Pull the other one it’s got bells on it.

[h/t NJ]

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  1. he actions of this person or persons shows a blatant disregard as anyone could have been injured.”
    Bly me Iggins, that’s terribly poor form.

  2. The automatic gunfire from the criminal was met with stern looks of consternation along with the putrid stench of offal. A bystander was heard to say “Cor, t’was awful offal, them DI’s smelt like an overripe nappy they did!”

    Which explains of course why chase was not given and no arrests made as of yet.

    More film after teatime.

  3. Some kid probably found it at the train station and thought it was fake. The reason he took it was because the RPG launcher was too heavy.

  4. “Witnesses say the man, described as a portly aging chap with a wry grin, was seen in the park ‘chasing naked women at an inhuman pace.’ When police attempted to corner the man, he ran behind a small tree, only to then emerge from a fountain nearly 50 feet away! He remains…ahem… “at large” tonight… Benita Hill reporting…”

  5. The Metropolitan Police, after full consultation with Whitehall and Buckingham Palace, has released the following sternly worded joint warning, “We are all a bit peeved.”

  6. Speaking of England, I was watching Churchill’s Bodyguard today and his main bodyguard never owned his own gun. He had to borrow Churchill’s Colt 1911 when he re-started guarding Winny at the start of WW2.

  7. In an interview, DC Plod said “This is not cricket. There are rules to be followed. We will have our lawyers send a stern letter expressing our disapproval.’

  8. Wait, what? First the article stated, “a semi-automatic firearm was discharged” then it stated “the weapon used was a submachine gun.”

  9. The US press make mistakes about gun type and usage all the time. The Brit press is undoubtedly no better.

    The Dallas shooter last year who shot up that police station was supposedly using a machine gun. Turned out to be a bog-standard rifle.

    Initial reports of the Oregon shooter had the media braying about him using a suppressor. Not quite.

    Knowing England, the Skorpion was probably an air-rifle replica or something…

  10. PC Danny Butterman, who had been on his way to the local bakery to buy a cake, is reported to have stated that he felt like q character in Bad Boys II.

  11. Whut’s all this then? Was it an aloha snackbar or just a run of the mill hooligan? Imagine the bobbie response to jihad jafar…

  12. England has so many cameras why can’t they simply follow the suspect via CCTV footage. Oh wait those aren’t to stop crime they are simply there for control, the state is watching you

  13. I’m sure they’ll find some nearby passerby or shopkeeper who found something like a wooden sign or post to hide behind and charge him with assault with a deadly weapon in self defense and declared the case solved.

  14. Oh! Enqueries! Let’s most certainly do some enqueries! And perhaps we should share some concerns as well!

    Lame ass brits!

  15. I can’t believe that a Brit — a BRIT! — would shoot at cops with a Czechoslovakian Skorpion instead of a British Sten gun. That’s just damn unpatriotic.

    • Sorry about that, couldn’t post link properly.
      Anyway where’s there’s money in it for someone then they’ll supply that demand. And gangster wannabees have money thanks to The War On Drugs.
      What really terrifies me is the thought of home invasions with armed crims, although admittedly shotguns are allowed here…

  16. It was a string of firecrackers. After 2 cops shit themselves they had to come up with a cover story to explain their actions.

  17. Watching British cops shows is hilarious. These cops automatically assume everyone in the UK will comply respectfully to their demands and then get shocked when the perp misbehaves and retaliates. They more often than not tend to leave themselves unprepared and open to attack resulting in serious injuries to the cop.

    Cops in the UK are a world apart from American cops.

    US cops start off on the offensive and UK cops badger the perp to death with lectures.


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