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Whenever I see a Subaru, Prius or other PC automobile plastered with progressive bumper stickers I give it a wide berth. In mental health parlance, the driver has “issues.” I reckon it’s best to leave those folks alone; anyone who reduces their “argument” to a bumper sticker is not going to be a master of rhetorical nuance or, for that matter, rational thought. As reports, someone should have told that to Edward Burns . . .

The 48-year-old Ozark resident pulled up alongside Laura Umphenour, whose Toyota Sienna is plastered with politically charged stickers, to let her know what he thought of her colorful bumper.

The dark minivan features decals reading “Hillary 2016,” “coexist,” “Not My President Or Yours Either” and “stop bigotry” with a silhouette of President Trump . . .

Burns pulled alongside Umphenour. He made the “L” sign with his hand, which typically means “loser.”

It seems that did not sit well with Umphenour, who fired back the middle finger.

“Fired back.” Geddit? You guessed it: Mr. Burns decided that Ms. Umphenour’s gesture was an imminent, credible threat of grievous bodily harm or death. Or something like that.

Burns decided to up Umphenour’s verbal barb, taking a Smith & Wesson .380-caliber handgun out of a holster on his waist, the Springfield News-Leader reported.

He pointed at Umphenour, who became startled.

“Laura said she was scared and jerked the steering wheel, which caused her to lose control of the vehicle,” the police report said.

She hit Burns and then crashed into a guardrail on the northbound side of U.S. 65, according to local news reports.

Cops who arrived at the scene found a fully loaded pistol tucked in a briefcase in Burns’ car.

He told police at the scene he “made a bad choice” even though he thought the liberal stickers were “stupid.”

Talking to the cops afterwards without counsel was even a worse choice. Not that I’m condoning brandishing while stupid. Far from it. In fact, Mr. Burns ears TTAG’s Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day award for bringing a gun to a sticker fight.

Mr. Burn’s will have plenty of time to contemplate his fate, between hiring a lawyer, losing his gun rights and paying-off Ms. Umphenour’s lawyer in the resulting civil suit.

Once again, don’t be that guy. Ever.


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  1. Brandished a .380. Woman must have had good eyesight to be scared of it.

    Either way, glad he’s off the street. Gun owners just can’t get a break with so much stupid walking around.

    • The 380 ACP is responsible for killing many people, including both Adolph Hitler and Yitzhak Rabin. Hitler killed himself with a Walther PPK, and Rabin was assassinated by a despicable religious nut job carrying a Beretta 84F.

      I own a 380 ACP pistol. It handles well, and the fixed barrel is remarkably accurate. Lots of people have asked me to let them shoot it, but nobody has asked me to shoot them with it, so I’m thinking it’s good enough to get the job done, especially with good shot placement. In Hitler’s case, it was his own right temple. Hard to go wrong there.

    • I’m going to give her a +1 for the “buy local” sticker. Most if the rest is garbage though. Plus I hate bumper stickers in general. I just find them tacky.

  2. Yeah, the guy who pulls his gun because of bumper stickers he doesn’t like is the one who needs to avoid people with mental “issues”.

    • Hey man. Those folks drive bad enough when they’re in their own little world, without getting animated and flipping anyone off. Who knows how aggressively the lady was driving?
      Based on the type of person who spends that much money plastering stickers all over their car, and my known dealings with that kind of people, it’s hardly a stretch a Hillary supporter got belligerent.

    • Actually RJ there are studies backing up the idea that the more bumper stickers there are on a car the more likely they are to exhibit inappropriate road rage. Interestingly it’s not the type of bumper stickers on the car that matter, just the number (so this isn’t a Left/Right thing). The theory is that people who festoon their vehicle like that are more likely to view the car as their bubble of personal space rather than as a conveyance. They then take it very personally when someone challenges or disrespects that space.

      None of which excuses drawing a weapon, I’m just saying that people with all those bumper stickers statistically really DO have some mental issues.

      • Totally. I’m currently in WI, and not from there. Some of the worst drivers in the nation (ranked 46 out of 50). Passive aggressive assholes who won’t let you merge, “brake check” you if they feel you’re tailgating them, start braking and merging over before they check their mirror or turn on their turn signal. Some disphit out in the left lane “cruising” about 45mph is a common sight. However, if you try to pass Wisconsinites, in general let alone the 45mph-in-the-left-lane-dipshit, they usually get sand down the front of their panties and refuse to let you pass. I’ve also been confronted about “stealing a parking spot” that I’d been waiting for the old man to back out of before they even pulled into the lot.

        Many try to enforce their view of safety and “king of the road” by utilizing their automobile as a weapon. They’ll either hog a lane, or drive on top of the lane markings so no one can pass, or swerve at you if they feel they’ve been wronged. Or they’ll speed back beside, merge over in front of you and “brake check” you. Something else they’re notorious for is leaving an extreme amount of space in front of, or between vehicles. In cities where intersection traffic lights are not synced (as most are in Wisconsin) this is a major problem because it causes unsafe scenarios, and bottlenecks (they’ll block off entrances and exits, intersections, etc.).
        They also do not like fanning out and utilizing all lanes. They’ll stay bunched up in one until almost gridlock before they move to other lanes.

        And they’re totally unfamiliar with roundabouts; totally freeze up at the yield sign, or they try changing lanes in the middle of them. Plus in winter they like to pile snow into the middle of the roundabout, eliminating any sort of sight-line smaller than a Freightliner.

        After about a decade in WI, you’ll start to question a lot of things, like evolution.

        • Heh, Front Range to a T for sure.

          This is why I don’t drive anything without a turbo or a throttle that you twist. I love leaving panties in knots behind me.

        • “by utilizing their automobile as a weapon.”
          Interesting that you should mention that, since it is exactly what this woman did. I do not buy her “lost control” story. She rammed the man on purpose. None of this excuses him for the brandishment, OFC. But which is worse; Brandishing, or Vehicular Assault?
          Were I on the Jury, I find them both guilty, but recommend a greater punishment for the assault.

        • I’ve lived all over this country man. And what you described isn’t just limited to there. Certain regions breed super dip Shit drivers. I’ve experienced this in Wis, Colorado, south Carloina, around D.C., Mass, New Jersey, and certain parts of Florida.

        • When I moved to Wisconsin a friend asked me what it was like. I told him “Wisconsin is a state full of very nice people who become raging dickheads the second they get behind the wheel.” I spent decades commuting in LA and the SF Bay area and Wisconsin gives me more WTFs per mile than any place I’ve lived.

        • How much space in front?
          If you have ever taken a defensive driving course they teach you to stay far enough back to see the rear tires of the vehicle in front of you.

      • Kenneth, brandishing is a credible threat of deadly force. At that time she is more than justified to ram him. Even if it happened the way you say, she is guilty of nothing.

        • It’s the next day, this may not be read. If you point a gun at me, I will not run. I will use whatever I have on hand to fight back. Usually my own gun. Might be a car. If you believe in the “Run, Hide, Tell”, then move to England. A person pointing a gun over anything less than imminent threat of serious bodily harm or death… but especially over something as stupid as bumper stickers has forfeited all rights to life.

  3. This is why we can’t have nice things.

    Re bumper sticker bingo, I agree. Do not engage, and literally steer clear because a disproportionate amount of the bad driving I see is correlated with high bumper sticker counts. (And living in New Mexico, that’s saying something!)

    • The last time I was in NM, a drunk tried to kill me by coming up the wrong way on the Interstate, directly into oncoming traffic in the dark. Just outside Albuquerque, by the Casino west of
      town. Sadly, most other States aren’t much better.
      Just like all other endeavors on this planet; be aware, use caution, and always expect the zombies to try to kill you.
      Keep your mental state in condition yellow and above, and they will almost always fail. Thank God zombies have no brain…

  4. OH c’mon. It’s not like there isn’t parity in the bumper sticker department. I know plenty of cars plastered with NRA, MAGA, Hillary For Prison, etc.

    It’s an extension of freedom of speech. Now, if you know you can’t handle talking to that person about politically charged things then, yes, best steer clear. Or if you imagine that they can’t handle talking about said topics, same.

    If either side pulls a gun or other weapon in response to being “triggered” then I suggest they get help. This guy should definitely pay a price, but I don’t think losing his right to defend himself with a gun should be stripped indefinitely.

    • Dude he threated to kill somebody because they responded to his rude gesture with another. Of course he should lose his right to carry, he clearly can’t be trusted with a firearm.

      • I don’t believe in blanket penalties or “mandatory minimums”. I also believe that people make mistakes.

        Note that I didn’t say he shouldn’t pay a penalty. He should – but I believe most penalties should be civil in nature, not “criminal.” If you pull a gun on me and sit in the clink for two years or something…yippee…I’m gonna sleep so well at night…not. Now if you’re ordered to pay me restitution…now we’re talking. And that would more effectively teach this dude not to pull his gun when hot under the collar.

        As far as disarming him for life? I think that’s cruel and unusual punishment. If you can’t be trusted to have a gun in society then you don’t deserve to be in society period. If you’ve done something so heinous then you should be 6 feet under or at the very least banished from society.

        • All human interactions wherein one party is damaged should be handled by restitution payments to the damaged party.
          All ‘criminal’ matters should be dealt with by jail time. The second that one allows the State to profit from crime(s) committed by another, the State becomes an accomplice and crime becomes nothing but a State revenue stream.
          That is, in large part, the reason for our current “revolving door” system of injustice.

        • You state that if a person isn’t to be trusted with a gun, then they’re not to be trusted period. If that guy had pointed his gun at me over a bumper sticker, I’d have killed him or died trying. And if I’d killed him, then he wouldn’t get to BE in society. It would have been self defense and I’d have walked. Losing the RTKABA is better than he deserves.

    • Nope, “Fast Eddy” is a moron and obviously has a difficult time interacting with people or responsibly handling a firearm. Pull his gun ticket, give hime 5 years of supervision and use him as the example for others.

    • You made me think of an interesting point. So, if an NRA sticker might prompt a vehicle break in for guns, perhaps a liberal bumper sticker may prompt a vehicle break in for the latest iPhone? Which brings me to another question, I have one rear window sticker with the pip boy from fallout, would that deter a break in from the threat of radiation poisoning?

  5. Hopefully he’ll be in jail where he belongs. Pulling a gun on a woman over a bumper sticker and a finger is a sure sign of some serious violent issues. It’s this kind of person that needs to be locked away from society before he shoots or runs over a child who ‘dissed’ him.

  6. Personally, I think all bumper stickers are stupid as they just open more possibilities of your car getting keyed, broken into, or somehow vandalized. Still, pulling a gun is a bit extreme, I would have just cut them off and given them the finger right back. At most, always have something in the car you’re willing to toss at another car. That, or have a very muddy car at all times. That way, you just steer for the nearest pothole and shake loose several clods of mud in front of them. >=D

    • I have a sticker ony car just for the Boulderites. It’s a recycling symbol with a brontosaurus in it and the words “Powered by recycled dinosaurs” around it.

      Most I get laughs but every once in awhile some guy in a LEAF or a Prius sees it and nearly has a stroke. It’s great.

      • Ha! I need to get one of those.

        On a slightly related note, my “Love” sticker made out of weapons (a 1911, hand grenade, crossed knives, and an AK) helped get me out of a speeding ticket about a year ago. My vehicle’s registration had lapsed, and I thought I was surely getting written up for both, but instead I got a friendly “go get it taken care of” and a nice roadside conversation about AR-15’s.

        I wound up buying a Palmetto State upper partly on that cop’s advice. Sometimes bumper stickers can be quite beneficial.

    • I used to drive a Datsun F10 in college, which was an absolute piece of crap. It would always destroy starter motors, so at one point I just gave up and started parking on hills, which were plentiful in North Idaho.

      I had one, and only one, bumper sticker: “Would you believe this sucker runs?”

  7. I have only an unobtrusive thin blue line sticker on the back of my Prius. Most people don’t even know what it is, except mostly police who I don’t want to think I am hostile when they pull me over.

  8. All bumper stickers are stupid. Getting so mad at bumper stickers that you engage that person in anything other than dialogue is worse. If your walking by ignore it, if your driving just hop in the slow lane and let them drive on. No automotive tramp stamp is worth endangering yourself or others, and paying out a ticket for such is a waste of your hard earned ammo funds.

  9. I limit my bumper stickers to “[Name of College] Parent” stickers. I’d leave those off, too, but my daughters insist, and it’s hard to say no. I’ve never understood why people festoon their cars with bumper stickers touting their favorite cause[s]. I don’t think I’m alone in never having been convinced to change my views or actions by reading a bumper sticker. The only thing that they communicate to me is that the driver is an attention seeker.

    • What upsets me a bit is that the word “Science” is now considered a politically motivated bumper sticker.

      Without science, we would not have ballistics. Without ballistics, we would not have such wonderful toys.

      I find people who selectively accept or reject settled scientific findings to be very vexing. If people can accept overwhelming scientific proof for something as complex as ballistics, why can’t people accept overwhelming scientific proof for other complex things as well, such as…


  10. Thank you idiot for giving the far left what they need all over a someone not worth much attention to begin with.

    Curious if this guy is a CCW permit holder (not for long) or not?

  11. I take offense to the Subaru comment. I have owned trucks my whole life, and still keep an old ford ranger around for utility work. My wife got a Subaru back in 2008. We had a bad winter, and every road was full of cars in the ditch. I went up a solid hill of ice with no problem. I went out and purchased a crosstrek, and it will out climb any of my buddies 4×4 trucks. They are the number one rally car also, and one of the top choices in Alaska, and Australia. No bumper stickers. Now a prius I have to agree with you.

  12. I’m not a fan of bumper stickers, in general. I do like to think, though, that the one I had in the early 1990s on my two-tone (rusted metal & Bondo) early 1970s Honda, which read “This is not an abandoned vehicle”, may have spared it from being towed a time or two.

  13. The two of them deserve each other. Never respond to insults or rude gestures with similar behavior. That escalates the confrontation. If it turns violent, you and the other guy will be considered mutual combatants and neither of you will be allowed to claim self defense.

    Burns is lucky he didn’t mess with someone like an old friend of mine. For a while, some jackass where I live was pointing a gun at other drivers. My friend, who drove a full size Chevy Blazer (now called a Tahoe), would have run him off the road. A Sienna might be big enough to do the job, too.

  14. The “yard waste” stickers the city hands out to put on your lawn and leaf cuttings can and the old “honk if you are horny” sticker are 2 of my favorites on vehicles. I want a zombie family series of stickers for the rear window of my ‘burb.

    • My wife hid my zombie family because she doesn’t want them on my Audi. I told her, come on, woman! The zombie dog has the zombie boy’s leg in its mouth. It doesn’t get better than that!

  15. I like them; they self-indicate mental stability. The more they have, the wider berth I give them, as I know they are unhinged. Any more than three, and they’re definitely a kook.

    Any more than two they’re suspicious.

  16. Anytime I see someone with that many, and that type of bumper stickers on their vehicle, I automatically get as far away from them as possible. There’s no doubt that they are totally unpredictable aholes that you don’t want to be anywhere near. There’s no doubt that Mr. Burns did a very dumb thing, but I guarantee that the woman driving the car is far more deranged then Mr. Burns. When you run across mass bumper sticker liberals, best to take the next right or left and take a different route. They are “not” worth losing your gun rights over……or the acid indigestion that they will surely give you.

  17. So what do we have here? A dumbass who brandished a weapon during argument when driving, displaying lack of judgement and outright stupidity.

    And yet Subaru drivers are inherent PC evil.

    Keep going. “Those-ebil-gun-and-moonshine-toting-redneks” propaganda needs fuel.

    (Nice one from alleged Jew, too)

  18. I have two SUBARUS, but I never put stickers of any sort on my cars. At one time, when renewing NRA membership year-to-year I had a bunch of those stickers they send out, so I would carry one around with me and if I saw an egregiously over libtard stickered car in a parking lot, I would casually contribute an NRA sticker to their decoration. Hopefully, I gave at least one liberal moron a fainting spell…
    BTW libtards usually buy the PZEV SUBARUS.

    Anyway, this guy pulling a .380 in response to getting the “bird” from some liberal woman, deserves whatever he gets. Some people are just too stupid to be counted among People of the Gun. Better he outed himself and got his gun rights taken away. He started the confrontation after all.

  19. Is pointing a gun at someone “brandishing” or is it assault with a deadly weapon or some similar charge?

    You seem to be dramatically understating the seriousness or what he seems to have done?

  20. It’s not really a “bumper sticker” per se, but I’ve been tempted to put a CZ or Browning sticker in my windshield. Generally unobtrusive and pretty unknown outside of owners. I haven’t yet and I might never. Nothing else has given me even the slightest urge to give my car a tramp stamp.


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