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"Calum" in Lifetime Movie Club

Eagle-eyed TTAG reader MK was watching a flick on the Lifetime Movie Club called I Have Your Children. [Full plot description after the jump.] It’s your basic psycho school bus hijacker standoff with a hard-as-nails-but-not-really female hostage negotiator movie. Baddie Calum is a genius! And we all know that geniuses 3-D print a Defense Distributed Liberator to enact their nefarious schemes — rather than buy a handgun that fires more  than one round. #dohIcouldvehadanXD. Anyway, history is made . . .

Detective Amber Cross is Hartford, Connecticut’s go-to crisis negotiator, currently at risk of losing custody of her young son to her estranged husband. And despite a recent setback when she was blamed for the tragic end of a domestic stand-off, she’s the first to get called in when Calum, a troubled and dangerous young genius, hijacks a bus load of school children and holds them ransom for a mysteriously specific amount of money.

As Amber negotiates for control of the scene with the hot-headed and trigger-happy lead of the tactical team, the villain also becomes the victim when it’s discovered that Calum’s motivation for the hostage taking is what he considers to be the fraudulent denial of his ailing mother’s staggeringly high medical insurance claim. Amber now must try to stickhandle [?] a safe resolution to what seems like an irreparable conflict; saving the lives of these abducted children, even if she may not be able to retain custody of her own.

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    • No. Ban Children while thinking of the printers.

      No wait, I meant think of the children while banning printers!

      Oh man… all this prohibition stuff is so hardddd. I need a drink to get my gun-sense back.

  1. I think a liberator type 3D pistol had a cameo in NBC’s Shades of Blue several weeks ago. Terrible show with god awful gun handling.

    • Made a cameo in an episode of NCIS as well last year. Black kid used it to kill himself running from the cops.

      After that attempt at selling an agenda I vowed never to watch that show again. It pissed me off, mother couldn’t understand why.

      • An episode of CSI New York featured a 3D printed revolver(!) that self-destructed the second time it was fired, leaving bits of plastic as evidence to track down the perp. And I believe it was an episode of Justified that included a plot where a 3D printer was confiscated for some reason and left in the evidence room. An evidence clerk had been bribed to print a pistol and deliver it to an assassin who had already cleared all the security and metal detectors to get into the building. Ended badly for him. Interesting plot concept, IMO.

    • Yup, that happened. Someone mentioned that it showed up in a another recent network tv show, but I forget which one it was.

      Way to go Cody Wilson! Now even more people who never even knew you could legally build your own gun, let alone the thousands that actually do have another thing they don’t understand to use against us. I’m sure the Bloomberg machine has stirred the pot, and we’ll see lots more references to your useless piece of self-promotion in the future. Another brilliant coup!

    • I didn’t read all the comments, not sure if someone already posted. There was a printed gun on an episode of “The Good Wife” a season or two ago. Suit was against the designer by the guy that printed the gun after the printed gun failed.

  2. “TTAG reader MK was watching a flick on the Lifetime Movie Club…”

    There’s the first problem right there.

      • You guys do realize that a lot of women really do enjoy that stuff, and (syrupy though they are) watching with your significant other does often lead to things that are more interesting? (Even if it’s only that she’ll watch ‘On Any Sunday’ one more time with you, and listen to your old motocross stories…)

        • “women really do enjoy that stuff, and (syrupy though they are) watching with your significant other does often lead to things that are more interesting? ”

          A “ROOT Canal”?

        • All I’ve ever seen portrayed on that channel is rape and abuse in plots thinner than your average porno. Not exactly syrupy IMO. You sure you weren’t watching the Hallmark Channel?

        • Did you mean Any Given Sunday with Al Pacino? The worst sports movie ever made in the history of the universe?

        • BLAMMO “On Any Sunday”

          On Any Sunday (1971) – IMDb

          Internet Movie Database
          Rating: 7.9/10 – ‎979 votes
          Documentary on motorcycle racing featuring stars of the sport, including film star Steve McQueen, a racer in his own right. … “On Any Sunday: The Next Chapter” On DVD and Blu-ray. … Inspired by Bruce Brown’s 1971 documentary, “On Any Sunday,” chronicles the international sport of …

        • “Leads to more enjoyable…”

          So, either a root canal is more fun than doing the horizontal shuffle with the significant other, or you my good man, have developed one spectacularly unusual kink. Or I’m not understanding where you’re going. Could be anything.

          But yes, motorcycles. Watching real football is boring enough. Watching bad movies about football?

        • I know what you meant. I was just musing about SYRUPY and the Pain ( like a root canal) of enduring a Lifetime channel Movie, Didn’t really think MOST Lifetime movies would lead to together time (as most seem to be about violent confrontations)..

          Hallmark channel probably has more cutesy, sappy (love triumphs) movies suitable for cuddle- time and More!

      • Whatever MK……you were sitting on the couch in your BVD’s tearing up to some lady drama while sipping on a wine cooler. Now pony up your man card….LOL

        • Lifetime channel? Heavens Stack of Beers more like maybe Wine in a Box…..
          I’m guessing No BVD’s, Probably a Sara Tipton inspired Dene Adams concealment or Can Can corset. to keep the gun holstered. LOL

        • MK, Be Free…..BE FREE!!!!!…..
          ( you’re a good sport MK….all razzing in fun!)

  3. Even for something shown on The Estrogen Network, this movie probably sets a new low on the IQ scale. How do I love the cliches? Let me count the ways.

    Troubled but misunderstood genius kid exploiting technology to cause trouble? Check.

    Evil insurance company? Check.

    L’il babies in trouble? Check. Gotta really get that estrogen flowing.

    Female superhero trying to balance her obligations to her job with her obligations to her children? Check. Poor dear. Men never have to do that. Because of male privilege.

    The only thing missing from this suckfest is Morgan Freeman.

  4. MK you deserve a TTAG gun hero award for sitting through a LMN movie.

    Also this is the mindset of a disarmed society, no real gun available so he makes one. Unless he has a 3d printer available the low end is $2000, black market hi-point $200.

    • I have a very well made Chinese model from Weistek I paid only $800 for. 3D printing tech has come down considerably in price over the past few years.

      Some are now selling them under the business model used to sell conventional printers (you don’t make money on the printer, but take it in with the proprietary cartridges). Ones that use proprietary filament cartridges are usually less than $500.

      • Guys, you don’t need a 3D whatchamacallit. 10 bucks at home depot and a 410 defense shotgun shell is far more effective than a single shot 22. And you can reload it faster.

  5. I was at Barnes and Noble this past weekend. They were selling a 3d printer for $349.

    The genie can’t be put back in the bottle.

  6. “Detective Amber Cross is Hartford, Connecticut’s go-to crisis negotiator”

    They should visit Hartford, CT — I am unimpressed

  7. Bring back Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever. Lifetime’s finest hour. And no, I’m not kidding.

  8. “And now, Meredith Baxtor Bourne and Lacey Chabert get shot in the vajayjay in the lifetime original movie, ‘Laberator…'”

  9. Fortunately, this aired on the Lifetime network, so anyone who saw it has probably long since died in a tragic, yet hilarious, banana peel-related accident.

    • I’ve been known to call it: “That man was a bastard and he deserved to die” channel.

      After that ‘The Burning Bed’ revenge movie from years back…

  10. I call it the Estrogen Channel. My wife was watching this drivel and I saw the 3d gun and thought “oh great” thanks @sshats.

  11. I’m pretty sure that Elementary was “first” two or three years ago, with the baddy shooting his wife with a plastic gun, then dissolving it in a bottle of acetone and disguising it as milk in the fridge.

  12. This goes right along with the pro-taxi cartel anti-Uber story lines as well. Invent crimes that haven’t happened to scare people into banning something the left hates.

  13. I can’t remember the TV show which aptly called Lifetime, “television for idiots.” It’s female power fantasies for the type of women who can’t be bothered to achieve anything in real life. They are susceptible to suggestion, easily frightened, and will mindlessly rally behind any cause, so long as it involves changing their Facebook profile picture or joining an online petition someone else set up. They cite “being a mother,” as a qualification for opinions on topics they don’t understand and we are never allowed to acknowledge just how stupid that really is.

    Yes, some men have these habits also, but we’re not talking about them right now.

  14. I smell sumthin…… bad plots. Horrible acting. Terrible storylines.
    Movies are like farts. If you have to force it… it’s probably sh!t

  15. Watching Season 3 of Crossing Lines on Netflix, the hit woman made a sniper rifle on her 3D printer in her hotel room. She put a scope and suppressor on it and was good to go.

  16. FAKE. This is CT, we pay for everything! People on Husky have better health insurance than many who pay for employer provided insurance…

  17. If anyone has a hard time understanding the phrase “missing the forest for the trees”, they need only look at gun control advocacy to understand it.

  18. The liberator was on NCIS. But the funny thing about this, nobody was asking to expoy when In Line Of Fire was realeased 25 years ago.

  19. Admittedly, plastic guns are not new in movies, but this one is recognizable.

    John Malkovich played a man trying to kill the president in a movie back in the 90’s and used a plastic gun that he assembled once through security using a pen and a few other items to complete.


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