by J.P. Anderson
As a guy who loves to save a buck, make things, and generally prove that “I don’t need to buy into your culture of consumption, man,” I’m always on the lookout for new projects. My interest in guns led me to improvised firearms, which inevitable led me to homemade body armor. Really. I was intrigued. Sure, Kevlar-and-plate body armor has a proven, battle-tested track record. But was it possible that “the man” was just selling us a load of goods? Could I make my own body armor that would be just as effective, comfortable, and cheaper? . . .
In case you’re pressed for time, the short answer is no. If you’re worried about your safety, buy some damn Kevlar. Interest free credit cards are your friend. For the long answer, read on.
My first idea about alternative body armor came from recalling an experiment I did with non-Newtonian fluids in eighth grade. You know, the cornstarch and water thing. If you rest your hand on a blob of the stuff, it will slowly sink it. But if you punch it, the fluid is rock hard. Would the same apply to a bullet? And hadn’t I read somewhere that someone had created a hardening fluid that would work in a bulletproof vest?
A quick search led me to Mythbusters Episode 112. Damn it. Six slender bags of a water/cornstarch mixture isn’t bulletproof at all. The amount you’d need to wear for a bulletproof vest would cripple Jean Claude Van Damme, if it worked at all.
Youtube’s Taofledermaus confirms the uselessness of the cornstarch and water method, but gets surprisingly good results with a giant gummi bear. The 5 lb. gummi stops a .380, so if you want to go into a situation of civil unrest draped in a vest of ‘roided out candy, best hope the bad guys are all carrying mouse guns.
What about pressing common household objects into use? Maybe a thick book with a ceramic tile top layer? In a pinch, this might actually get the job done in terms of stopping a bullet. But stopping a bullet is only part of the equation; the body armor also needs to be relatively lightweight, durable, and not restrict your range of motion. A poncho made of old phone books and bathroom tiles, as awesome as that would look, really doesn’t fit the bill.
Layers of cloth, from the linen of the ancient linothorax to the layers of silk some aristocrats would don in the days of flintlocks (and later: the first bullet-resistant vest made by Casimir Zeglen in the early 20th century used the same principal) to the felt-and-silicone contraption proposed by “Josey Wales” in “The Poorman’s Bullet-Proof Vest” might work against soft, lower powered rounds hurled from a musket (might) but are unlikely to withstand any real projectile, ie a modern bullet fired from a rifled barrel. Having said that, there are some promising developments in the use of spider silks. If you want a spider farm as part of your shtf preps so you can weave a featherweight armor vest, more power to you. I’d rather be shot, personally.
The long and the short of it is this: you can hang two inch thick plates of Lexan off your body, or drape yourself in scales of 1/2” thick AR500 steel and shamble to your doom like a three-legged tortoise, or hide behind flower pots and filing cabinets like they do in The Walking Dead (that works, right?) but the bitter truth of the matter is that there is no homemade, field-expedient, inexpensive way to make a reliable bullet-proof vest. So if you like to tinker, make a kayak. Maybe you can turn your old Kevlar one into a tactical battle boat.
(Disclaimer: don’t let people shoot you to test armor, homemade or not, numbnuts.)
I have the answer you all have been looking for! Check out the dude in the 6 PM photo caption contest. If that isn’t a winner, I don’t know what is!
Good luck driving your car with it!
P.S. Also serves dual purpose. If you get home at 3AM and your wife is waiting up for you with a baseball bat, tell her to have at it!
It takes way, way less than 1/2″ of AR500 steel to stop every round under about .50
.338 Lapua is way under .50
1/2″ steel is NO match
1/4″ of AR500 is sufficient for most threats, sans AP .30-cal.
Oddly, though, it does has trouble stopping M193 ball at 100 yards and in.
Not confident I could get a good firing grip on the gun to bring it out of the holster.
Looks more like a $10 gun show piece of (poop).
No thanks. I’ll pass.
John
Hey, where are the white women at?
Hands down the worst gun shop in America is:
Gun City USA
In Nashville, TN on Murfreesboro Road.
The selection sucks but what is even worse is the people who work there. If you need help they act like they are doing YOU a favor and grunt and moan about having to move 2 feet to get anything. They have ZERO parts, zero anything relevant. They do have a range but its underground with ZERO ventilation and hasn’t been cleaned since 1972.
STAY AWAY and go to the best shop and BEST range in TN, the Nashville Armory.
You throw a bucket of water on her. I’ll stick with the rifle, if you don’t mind.
Having carried armored plates around Iraq and Afghanistan, I would rather get shot than carry armor around in the civilian world.
Dan Zimmerman: “How’s this for some home-made body armor?”
Safe sex was very different in the old days.
Uhhmmmm… Operator? Haha
How many DGU’s happened where a fatality was not the result? I would think that number would be even higher than ten. Then there are also numbers we’ll never know, unreported DGU’s, and perp’s that were scared off because they thought their target might be armed. This is a very interesting development, and completely shocking to me. I always thought Detroit would eventually become relevant again, but I never thought it would be because of the public exercising its rights. Very cool, let’s pray this continues and Detroit actually becomes a gun rights model for the rest of the country.
” I’m looking for Leland Yee “
Bulls Eye Shooter Supply in Tacoma, WA.
After the DC Sniper tar and feathering they took I thought I’d give them some love.
I was looking to buy a used .22 military trainer, and found one for about $300.00 used. I was very interested in buying it, and ready to plunk down my cash, but I wanted to inspect the internals of this simple blot action rifle.
I didn’t want to disassemble a rife didn’t own so I asked the guy behind the counter if he could help me. He tried, and failed, but had the good sense to ask the shop gunsmith, who was hanging out further down the counter doing nothing in particular.
The gunsmith look exceeded to have something interesting to do, and we spent about 10 minutes looking online for schematics and the manual of arms.
Then some guy, manager, owner? wandered by, looked at the gunsmith and said, “how much time are you going to waste trying to sell a $300 gun?”
The gun smith looked shock and frustrated. I left without the rifle.
I also didn’t buy the $1100 Sig P220 Elite Dark I purchased the next week at West Coast Armory in Issaquah, or the $700 Remington 870p, the $650 Sig P245, the $700 Kahr PM9, the $600 Sig P238, and $1200 Remington 700 Police tactical rifle all purchased from DJ’s Loan and sport in Bothell. Both of these shops offered excellent service.
Am I being detained, officer?
I have to agree with Mr. Pierogie and Jared – the Bullet Hole in Belleville, NJ ranks high on my list of lousy gun stores. I went there to pick up some powder and primers and it was lunch time on a Saturday. The clerk gave me crap about interrupting his lunch for such a simple request and then disappeared for about 30 minutes. When he came back he only had 1 can of Win 231 – told me they were out of everything else, even though I had called the store earlier and they said they had everything in stock. It’s very small and crowded with either newbies or the local LEO (the police department is literally right around the corner).
Now Mr. Pierogie, if you are looking for a good range check out “Gun For Hire” up in Woodland Park (the old West Paterson) – state of the art range with everything you can think of. Hard to believe that it is located in the Socialist State of New Jersey.
Obama – ready for Putin.
Awesom-O has really lowered his standards.
Body Armor: when it was really navah bean done bee-fowah.
I am the knight that says “neicht, neicht, neicht.”
During the civil war, the first attempt at a human powered torpedo had a few shortcomings.
Times were tough in OZ, but when when he was needed the tin man answered freedom’s call.
So your saying that this stuff wont work? Damn, I had high hopes too.
http://www.theprepperjournal.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/TylerSmith.jpg
Seen here, Private Jenkins took over testing duties from Corporal Rhiner, who was the victim of papier machê prototype armor.
Signs like the above are laughable. If my gun is concealed, how does the owner of the sign know I have it?
Beltway Snipers… Aurora theater… maybe the survival rate matched some study’s guestimate…but keep in mind that some of them survived with the guts literally ripped out of their bodies.
Could they fire back? Sure. Maybe. Take a look at your copy of Street Survival. Remember the photo of the guy who took 33 9mm rounds before he fell down?
How about the female vet from recent campaigns that lot her arm after a RPG went straight through her? She’s around to talk about it… everything depends……..
To Dan and JP-Proof that budget body armor IS possible……
CHILD ABUSE poor kid
I own a XCR-L and have had zero issues with anything. I ordered another barrel from them chambered in 7.62 with no complaints. Most complaints I see on here is personal opinion which is fine and dandy but we do not know the variables to all the negative interactions with Robinson Armament. Most of the negative reviews I have read are dated 2009 or earlier. I believe when a innovative product does hit the market there is a period that the bugs need to be ironed out. The owner of the company has evolved over the years because he had to in order to survive. Bottom line is that if your looking for a great looking rifle that is truly modular this is the rifle you have been looking for.
Once a Marine, Alway a Marine!
Any politician that supports gun legislation is currupt. Whether flat out criminal like this guy, or just an elitist, these people know that gun control does no good and only tramples constitutional rights. Politicians do not get the “just ignorant” pass that the average soccer mom does who simply has given the issue no thought and thinks guns look scary.
Civil War Tacticoool
Back when I was stuck at an uppity ivy league school there was an Onion-esque article in the school paper about “yellow fever.”
To protest the sexualization the Asian women on campus walked around with ball gags in their mouths.
Needless to say it backfired.
I’m not sure protesters ever think through their symbolism or slogans.
Maybe he’s right guys? If we ban guns like Britain, nobody will ever die again unless the government wants them to. All the criminals will cheerfully surrender their weapons like when Ralph’s has a gun buyback!
I am a Brit living in America. I now own many guns and often meet other Brits in Gun Stores.
Most Brits would want less gun control In The UK.
And Most Brits can’t stand Morgan
Now this is a suit of armor…. Let’s get it on!
So you think there would be a school lockdown if they found one link from a belt fed machine gun? Empty of course. Or maybe even a length of empty belt. Oh man imagine if they found a bottle of Hoppes, freakin federal hazmat team would be called in
I like my HK MP5 .22
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl6rRNGfR6o
My invite got lost too. And I live in Bloomington, IL. I’m guessing there were some advertising dollars spent to get those “reviews”. Remember the classic…
I too shall await ShootingtheBull’s eval.
John