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Amy Schumer and Senator Chuck Schumer (courtesy philly.com)

According to variety.com, comedienne Amy Schemer dreams dreams of “legislation that would expand background checks, including ending a loophole in which firearms can be purchased at gun shows and online without such initial checks.” But when the heat is on, Ms. Schumer dreams of unfettered access to a veritable arsenal of “guns and lasers.” Like this . . .

Will Smith and I are filming a movie. We step out of our trailers—and no one is around. I say, “Hey, Bill” (inside joke even though I have never met him). “Where is everyone?” He looks over my shoulder and says, “Oh no, they’re here.” I turn around slowly, like crazy-ass slowly. And I see them. Tons and tons of zombies. He grabs us a bunch of guns and lasers. We kill them all. We get all sweaty and we look really hot. And I say something cool like “They didn’t even see it coming.” Not that but something cool.

Who saw that coming? So to speak. [h/t SS]

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50 COMMENTS

    • Right? I think this is RF’s way of telling me to get off my ass and finish my reviews. Lima Charlie, Robert.

    • Yup. I mean, moderate celebrity gone shrill, it happens. We’d be making the same mistake (being nosy, basically) and fueling the problem if we hang on her every move now.

      • Well, she’s gone from a C List celeb to something more like B- List on the basis of her anti-gun stance raising her profile. So she’s going to milk that for as long as she can.

        Although, she posed for the 2016 Pirelli calendar before that LA theater shooting during her movie. So that was just classic Amy Schumer: you come for the empty head behind the pudgy face, but you stay for the jelly belly rolls of fat punishing that spandex thong.

        • Way to keep it classy. That will sure show those progressives – let’s make fun of the physical traits of people who don’t agree with us.

          Then let’s complain when they do the same thing.

          Don’t get me wrong, both sides are guilty. But whenever I see this type of behavior I automatically assume the person putting it out there is an idiot; others do too. Just FYI.

        • First, suck it. (Classy enough for you?)

          Second, I’m one guy on the Internet. If the “progressives” (read: statists) are not persuaded by my numerous and penetrating serious posts on firearms topics, then they aren’t going to be dissuaded by my occasional tongue-in-cheek wordplay, either. They’re too steeped in anti-firearms fervor to be reached. As for mythical fencesitters, they don’t exist. The only people in significant numbers who are not already either pro- or anti- firearms, are those who either don’t care at all or just haven’t really considered the topic. Either way, they’re not on TTAG, but if they were, they’d discern between jokes and seriousness.

          Third, those remarks are essentially from Ms. Schumer herself, jackass. Her act routinely focuses on her weight/appearance, (un)intelligence, promiscuity, and drunkenness. If you were as familiar with her comedy as you are sanctimonious political correctness, then you might have spared yourself some embarrassment with your misplaced post. Good day, sir.

    • Just your daily reminder to boycott everything she does…and while you’re at it, go to every movie website and pan
      anything she does…which will be the truth, as she only produces crap anyway…it’s what the antis do to us.

    • I don’t know about you, but I like slow news days on gun rights. I much prefer getting to enjoy my rights, than having to fight to keep them.

    • “zombies” inspired by the schmuck standing next to her, have you ever seen pictures of that ~man trying to butch it up for the camera by “mulling something over”?

      Lawyers for Chuck Schumer sued George Lucas for infringing on the name of his personality, “Sith”.

  3. As they take your guns away jewish comics like Amy Schumer and Bill Maher distract you with laughter. All the while they will have armed private security. Bill Maher has stated he is keeping his guns.

    I like Will Smith movies. I will not pay to see him and Amy Schumer in a film together.
    I will never pay for a subscription to HBO as long as bill Maher is on their network.

    • Uh, Bill Maher was raised as a Catholic. No need to bring religion into it anyway. He’s not funny, shes not funny and they both think they know more than many of us. They don’t.

      • +1. Lay off the jooossss…comments, pls. Plenty of other places on the ‘Net you can stink up with that stuff.

      • Bill Maher has said he is jewish. I assume he thinks he gets more milage out of claiming he is jewish. One parent was catholic and the other was jewish.

        Jewish democrats claim because they are jewish holocaust survivors they have special claim for removing the private property of American citizens. That property being the arms the US Constitution says our ours by natural right.
        Personally I think these jews are mentally ill if they believe the state can be trusted with all the guns.

  4. Creepy, unnatural, and irreproachable to the mainstream media, but unfortunately better than the current national average?

  5. Good luck sweet Amy, you and uncle Chuck and your family certainly know what is best for the rest of us plebeians. Family money, connections and resource is a wonderful thing. Bless you.

  6. I miss the words of Patrick MacNee: Why should people listen to me about political topics? I’m just an actor. I have no expertise in these matters. Sigh.

  7. Is she grabbing her boobs? Not that my mind is in the gutter…..well OK. I’m a guy, it’s in the gutter.

  8. So what is the name of the zombie movie they are making? Never heard of lasers in a zombie movie before.

  9. And today she was showing off her bruises-yesterday showing off her rolls of fat for a “private” hipster calendar. Still-guns for me but not for thee BS. Like the now PC sarah silverman…arg.

  11. “He grabs us a bunch of guns and lasers and stuff…” you know, from a bottomless bag of holding he carries in his manpurse. I know it’s hollyweird, but I imagine the concept of only being able to fire one gun at a time is as silly to them as being able to earn a million bucks by telling sailor jokes and smiling into a camera is to us.

  13. I read this post twice and still have no idea what she’s trying to say. As someone said yesterday, “In American, please.”

  16. Well, I guess I won’t be watching anymore Amy Schumer flicks. Damn shame too, I thought she was pretty funny and fairly attractive, until I read this bullsh*t. Oh well.

    • Taking a page out of the Snoop Dog/Jim Carrey “please, I just want to remain relevant and I would sell a kidney to do it” playbook.

    • I don’t know what planet you’re living on, but she has her own very successful show on Comedy Central, she’s probably the biggest female standup comic right now and she was the main character in Apatow’s most recent movie, which has netted $105 mil in profit so far. And most people didn’t know who she was 2 years ago.

      If that’s failing, what’s your idea of being successful?

  18. I’ve watched her show on about a dozen different occasions and I’m still waiting for it to get funny. So far the closest has been pity-laughter.

  27. Maybe, just maybe, she actually played with some guns and liked it? I sure doubt Chuck ever took her to the range for some Dad/daughter quality time.

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