You Might be a Gun Nut If . . .

Microwave (courtesy The Truth About Guns)

If you microwave your coffee in pistol caliber increments, you . . .  might be a gun nut. Your turn!


  1. avatar LNJK says:

    If you measure in mm instead of inches

    1. avatar OODAloop says:

      If you bank card PINs are in calibers – 4590, 3006, 3030, etc…

  2. avatar Toddmori says:

    If you have more magazines/caliber than shoes. …

    1. avatar cs says:

      Some of us have only one pair of shoes and two guns. Does that mean I am a nut?

      1. avatar bob says:

        Sounds like an arsenal.

    2. avatar In4apennyIn4apound says:

      You might be a gun nut if

      the magazines next to the toilet are filled with bullets not words.

  3. avatar stokeslawyer says:

    You set your alarm for 5:56

    1. avatar Jonathan says:

      You just made the best argument against small calibers ever…

    2. avatar Timmy! says:

      LOL! I’m going to reset my alarm RIGHT NOW!

    3. avatar Scoutino says:

      Damn, my alarm clock doesn’t go to 7:62! When i wake up at 6:35 I feel kind of weak and underpowered.

  4. avatar Gohnn says:

    Front door handle is a handgun

    1. Your front door is a decoy to throw off the feds.

  5. avatar Dale Smith says:

    If you take it as a sign of good luck when it involves the numbers 223, 556, 308, 762, or 338.

    1. avatar 505markf says:

      Especially if they are room numbers in a hotel – a very good omen!

      1. avatar Dustin says:

        When you find sad, hilarious irony in Texas Statue 30.06…

        If you grinned when your State’s failed Open Carry bill was called HB556 and your jaw dropped when the accompanying Senate Bill was called SB223…

        OC didn’t happen, but come on man, the names of the bills… Portent? Omen?

  6. avatar Justin says:

    I have stubbed my toe on a rifle getting out of bed. Ouch.

    1. avatar fiun dagner says:

      if you have a Mosin Nagant crate in your living room instead of a coffee table

    2. avatar Cuteandfuzzybunnies says:

      Omg I did. But I’ve got it set up in the bedroom temporally while I wait on a new part for my build.

  7. avatar Troybilt says:

    If your Shannon Watts hired hand.

  8. avatar Ryan Drane says:

    Every pair of pants you own we’re made by “5.11”.

    1. avatar Bob109 says:

      Oh crap! Count me in the club.

  9. avatar Ricky Bobby says:

    If you have a pit bull named Ruger and a dachshund named Bullet…

    1. avatar Deng says:

      My buddy has two Rhodesian Ridgebacks, a bother and sister, named Mossberg and Remington.

      Yes, really.

      1. avatar Accur81 says:

        Do they get along? Which one is the more reliable protector?

        1. avatar Deng says:

          They’re pretty much the same. Both tough. Mossy is the workhorse. Remmy likes to get all dressed up and sit in the back of the truck for days on end.

    2. avatar Bob says:

      I have a GSD puppy named Luger. We rescued him and that was his name. It was clearly destiny so we had to adopt him.

      1. avatar Scoutino says:

        Did you get him out of burning building? Or was he drowning? Or was he kidnapped and held hostage and you got him out?
        That must have been exciting way to get a dog.

    3. How about a cat named Glock? (not my cat but told my wife she could only get one that was black one and had to name it Glock, only way I’d allow it) lol
      Damn-it she did it……………..

  10. avatar Cubbie says:

    If you think caliber before time when you see 2:23, 3:00, 5:56, and 9:19.

  11. avatar Pat Carver says:

    If the first time you saw a sign for the ink refill store Cartridge World you thought “Excellent, a new place to buy ammo”.

    1. avatar Xanthro says:

      The refill ink?
      I’m so disappointed.

  12. …you’re a Democrat.

  13. avatar Ralph says:

    Wait — you microwave your coffee?

    1. avatar David B says:

      I haven’t had a microwave in 20 years. Hate the things. Messes with all my tin foil hats. If I have to heat something up, I use the stove top or oven. Saves a ton of room in the kitchen too.

      1. avatar DFT says:

        Come on. An oven is bigger than a microwave.

      2. avatar mark s. says:

        Twenty years ago ? Wow , That was old technology man . Today they make those things to fit on your wrist and all you have to do is think about your coffee being hot and ” bam ” , it is . You’ve obviously been out in the boonies to long . Come to the big city man and enjoy the great life , just leave those nasty guns behind . They take care of everybody in the city . No worries , no cares , no crime , no guns . It’s all good .

        1. avatar protaganis says:

          No more Kool-ade for you! 😉

        2. avatar bob says:

          All the soylent green you can eat.

  14. avatar WS in SC says:

    ttag is your homepage….at work.

  15. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    You buy a rifle in 7.62 X 45 just because…

    1. You buy ammo in 7.62×45 and you don’t own a rifle in that bore.

      1. avatar HandyDan says:

        You buy 30 round magazines for guns you don’t own, just in case you get those guns after they ban “high cap” magazines.

      2. I have a few 20ga, 7.62x39mm, 30-30, .308 and .30 carbine. I dont have anything to shoot them, but you know I might one day. I just cant bring myself to give them away or sell them. lol ….and I’m only talking about maybe half a box of each.

  16. …you write articles for TTAG without compensation.

  17. avatar 505markf says:

    If, in reply to that inevitable question from your spousal unit, “Just how guns do you own?”, you stumble and hem and haw not because you want to hide the answer, but because you really don’t know the correct answer.


    When you walk into your local gun store and all the sales staff and some of the regulars turn around and, like the scene in Cheers, call out your name.


    When you walk into your LGS, the proprietor grabs something from the counter and waves you over, saying, “have I got something you might like to see.”


    Your shooting buddies no longer ask, “do you want to go shooting?” but instead simply ask you, “when are we going?”


    The range officer paints your name on a spot in the parking lot.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      “When you walk into your LGS, the proprietor grabs something from the counter and waves you over, saying, “have I got something you might like to see.”

      Had that happen.

      And yes, I bought it….

      1. avatar JWM says:

        Same, more than once. Also had the guy at the LGS hold up a gun and ask me if I knew what it was. He did not.

      2. avatar Toddmori says:

        Had something similar happen, but it was the LGS owner coming to our monthly poker game with something for each of us. He won the game that night, and also sold a Thompson Commando, A Kimber, and a Les Baer TRS!

      3. avatar PerplexedPistolero says:

        Or when they call you because they have your wishlist somewhere on the wall. And yes, I bought it.

    2. avatar Dustin says:

      If you know how many guns you have, you don’t have enough.

      1. avatar ClayinUT says:

        The only reason I know my actual count, is I have an Access database, with pictures, SN#’s, value and all other pertinent information. No my wife has no idea that a list such as this exists.

  18. avatar Ralph says:

    You’re a gun nut if you’re proud of your highly polished 4″ barrel.

    1. avatar Geoff PR says:

      Polishing it a lot recently?


      1. avatar Ralph says:

        No, but I do oil my muzzle before shooting.

        1. avatar mark s. says:

          I waited and waited for a female to ask for caliber and waited . WTF , no females on this site ? I personally don’t give a sh t . Just keep it clean .

    2. I have a 6″
      Its a lone wolf…….in my Glock.

  19. avatar BLAMMO says:

    Keep, in my car, one fully charged magazine (or en bloc clip) for every rifle I own, all the time. Not sure why I do, I just do.

  20. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you have The Truth About Guns bookmarked on your home and work computers and your phone.

  21. avatar NateGA says:

    You teach your daughter how to count using shot gun shells

    1. That’s okay. Later you will use the shotgun to teach her boyfriend a thing or two.

    2. avatar Nate says:

      And later in life teach her boyfriend how to count down in 12 guage. lol

  22. avatar CoolBreeze says:

    If being around guns is as natural as breathing…
    If you feel uncomfortable when you don’t have your gun with you…you might be a gunnut.

  23. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you find ammunition instead of change in the couch cushions.

    1. avatar ThatGuyYouKnow says:

      or in the laundry

      1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

        Speaking of leaving ammo in your pockets, this spring I had to go to a county courthouse and of course I knew to leave the gat in the car, but when I walked up to the metal detector I realized I had my pocket knife clipped to my back pocket. The guard said I could leave it with him, but made it clear that he was not responsible for lost items, and since it was just a $20 knife I left it with him. Walked through the metal detector and went upstairs where I realized I still had a speed strip with 6 rounds of .357 magnum hollow points in my pocket. Oops…

        1. avatar Cody says:

          Went through customs in Amsterdam with a hollowpoint .45 acp in my carry-on. Didn’t make it.

  24. avatar Matt O says:

    When at your LGS customers mistake you for an employee, and it doesn’t bother you.

    1. avatar William says:

      When your LGS’s OWNER mistakes you for an employee….

      1. avatar Chrispy says:

        He does accuse me of this on occasion…

        Also, if you have your LGS owner’s personal cell phone number, just in case. (guilty).

        1. avatar PerplexedPistolero says:

          Or you have it because they were a Surefire listed dealer before they opened, and that was their only number.

  25. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you’re cleaning out your safe and you find more than one firearm you forgot you had.

  26. avatar Rick K says:

    You’ve stitched 2 Remora holsters into the pocket of your golf bag. One for snubbies and one for small autos.

    1. That’s a great idea!

  27. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you can identify the caliber of any Glock based on the model number without looking it up.

    1. avatar Dustin says:

      I don’t own any, or even like, Glocks and I can do that. Pshaw…

  28. avatar Gary McClenny says:

    If your passwords contain calibers.
    If you begin to wonder if you have too many because you can’t keep them all clean.
    If you have more cases of .22LR ammunition than the gun store.

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      If your passwords are “SamColt” or “HiramMaxim” or “DanielWesson”.

      1. avatar Chrispy says:

        Or “JohnMosesBrowning”

    2. avatar Curtis in IL says:

      At this point I think nearly everyone has more .22LR than the gun store. If you have one round, you have more than most retailers in my area.

  29. avatar Ken says:

    A truck doesn’t enter your mind when you hear semi.

    1. avatar Dustin says:

      It took me several seconds to even figure out how this was a functional sentence. “Oh, he meant…”

    2. avatar SteveInCO says:

      When it’s guns, it’s sometimes “SEM-ee” when it’s trucks, it’s always “SEM-eye”

  30. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you keep a revolver stashed in the bathroom. Just in case.

  31. avatar Drake says:

    When you hear people talking about 38 and 40 you peak your head out to see who is looking about guns, and they are talking about pant sizes.

  32. avatar One of the good guys says:

    You have more gun safes than TVs in your house.

    1. avatar mike oregon says:

      +1, and yes

  33. …you have a literal understanding of the 2nd Amendment. No ifs, ands or buts

  34. avatar Doesky2 says:

    You spend more time on gun sites than porn sites.

    You have more gun mags than porn mags.

    1. avatar mike oregon says:

      Dirty magazines means something different in my home.

  35. avatar Stogie says:

    If you refer to a certain website as TTAG and no one knows what you are talking about.

    If you have a dozen sites bookmarked on your computers, but TTAG is the only one you visit daily.

    If your examples list TTAG so you can get freebies.


  36. avatar Brooklyn in da house says:

    Gun folder in your bookmarks with 10 sites you check at least twice a day.

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      If you have a half a dozen sub-folders in your bookmarks under ‘firearms’.

      1. avatar AdamTA1 says:

        Half a dozen? More like 2 dozen…

  37. avatar Jon says:

    Your pet cat is named Sig.

    1. avatar cs says:

      Is your dog’s name Sauer?

  38. avatar One of the good guys says:

    You have these recurring dreams where you show up at work naked, but in your dream you’re still wearing your gun.

    1. avatar Roymond says:


      Been there, done that, though not recurring.

    2. avatar Roymond says:

      if you…

      … pull things from the trash because they could be fun to shoot.
      … stop at a scenic viewpoint, and everyone else is admiring the scenery but you’re evaluating the backdrop.
      … want drain holes in the bottom of a barrel so you reach for your gun instead of a drill.
      … use empty brass for counters instead of poker chips.
      … pick a seat in a restaurant based on field of fire.
      … instead of thinking of recycling or scrap when an appliance wears out, you think, “Nice target”
      … have a set of empty brass to use for cutting round holes in leather.
      … play online games and name your planets after guns.
      … have more calibers of ammo in your garage than types of screws and nails.
      … think of firearms rather than hardware when someone says “bolt”.
      … think of firearms rather than tools when someone says “hardware”.
      … mentally compare open v scope when someone says, “What a sight!”
      … try to remember what firearms were in use when your total at the store comes up as a year.
      … build a sandcastle at the beach and lay it out with good fields of defense fire
      … build a sandcastle at the beach and imagine the results of shooting it with your different guns.
      … skip the whole sandcastle and beach thing because there’s a discount day at the range.
      … can’t understand why vacation resorts don’t have shooting ranges.
      … would rather camp at a shooting range than at a resort.
      … sometimes propel your canoe by shooting off the back instead of paddling.
      … know exactly how far each of your guns can reach from your front porch.
      … skip items on your grocery list because you saw .22 LR on the shelf.
      … roll out of your tent in the morning, think something’s missing, strap on your gun and feel fine, and only a minute later realize it’s all you’re wearing.
      . . . .

      1. avatar Dennis says:

        “… can’t understand why vacation resorts don’t have shooting ranges.” Not exactly a resort, I saw an announcement recently that Williamsburg, VA will be building a rifle range for visitors to shoot the old blackpowder rifles.

  39. avatar whiskeytangofoxtrot says:

    You believe the definition of “gun control” means keeping it in the 9 ring.

    To your husband’s delight, you suggest a range date to celebrate your 20th anniversary.

    Your coworker comes to you to talk rifle-building… not your Marine coworker (with all respect to our Devil Dawgs 🙂 )

    No lie.

  40. avatar says:

    You have a drawer full of free Allen wrenches and torx wrenches from accessories but no matter what you’re working on you can never find the right one.

  41. avatar David says:

    The idea of doing your own “gun buy back” program still has not gotten out of your head 🙂

  42. avatar Leadslinger says:

    Instead of birthdays you cycle through gun calibers you own for numbers when buying lottery tickets.

  43. avatar Accur81 says:

    You loaded up a range bag, and it got so heavy you ripped the handles off. .45 doesn’t just kill the soul, it kill range bags, too!

    (Bonus note: that was a combo of .45 ACP, .454, .460, and .45-70. It’s all heavy.)

    1. …you had to use Gorilla Glue on your wife’s purse handle because the stress from the pistol and two back up mags were just too much to bear. True story!

      1. avatar Accur81 says:


        I’ve broken a few bags and handles in my day. Thankfully most incidents weren’t guns / ammo related.

  44. avatar Drew in Michigan says:

    Your favorite HWY exit is #223 I94 even though you have never gotten off there. or any HWY mile marker that is a Caliber

    1. avatar Bob109 says:

      Exit #223 from I-17 in AZ happens to be the exit you take to get to the Ben Avery Gun Range.

  45. avatar Mosinfan says:

    You can recite the muzzle velocity, ft-lbs of energy, and drop in inches of most ammo like baseball fans can recite players batting averages

  46. avatar Gohnn says:

    Your son is named Armor Pearson.
    License plate is 1GLK19

  47. avatar Mike says:

    Your ammo stash is worth more than your two cars. Combined.

  48. avatar JohnF says:

    You re-connect with a buddy you haven’t talked to in over 10 years and the first topic of discussion is, “So, whatcha packin’ these days?” (true story, just happened)

    If your Dad taught you to shoot at an age that, if it happened today, would get him arrested. (also true)

  49. avatar Southern Cross says:

    Your children regard going to the range as a normal activity and their attendance is more frequent than most of the members.

  50. avatar Jim says:

    If you just had surgery and your biggest complaint is you can’t go to the range for a month

    1. …you just had surgery on your shoulder and you take advantage and train one handed pistol manipulations. True story!

      1. avatar Geoff PR says:

        What the hell did you do to yourself?

        1. Full thickness tear of the rotator cuff.

  51. avatar WILLIAM says:

    44th Anniversary
    Just sayin’

  52. avatar HES says:

    … If one of the major things holding up your divorce is the distribution of the gun and ammo.

  53. avatar John says:

    You might be a gun nut if you have your digital clock in 24 hour sequence-at least one time during the day you will see your favorite handgun on your clock; 1911

  54. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you buy a firearm for your wife because you think it looks pretty sharp in Muddy Girl camo.

  55. avatar mike oregon says:

    When a anti-gunner calls you a ammo-sexual, you respond with ” You have no right to judge me, I was born this way and I will not have my rights a a ammo-sexual dictated by a ammo-phobe. Yes it happened.

    1. avatar Other Tony says:

      Hey congrats, the Supreme Court just upheld your right to get gun married.

      You know, like gay married. But gun, not gay.

      It’s funny.

      1. avatar Nate says:

        Hey if I marry a handgun I don’t need a carry permit then! And I’ll be able to bring “her” with me anywhere in the US. Any attempts at prosecution would spur a civil rights lawsuit. You can’t break us apart!

        1. avatar Tim says:

          She also can’t be used against you as evidence in court.

      2. avatar Paelorian says:

        Get gun married? I don’t know about that, but I gun get married.

      3. avatar SteveInCO says:

        I suspect most of us would be down with poly-gun-ous marriage, too.

        Guns don’t complain when you have another.

  56. …you watch movies but can’t help being distracted by all the sloppy gun handling. Also, when movies mock gun nuts you don’t get it.

  57. avatar ThatGuyYouKnow says:

    When the news reports an “Arsenal” of 5 guns or a “Stockpile” of 200 bullets, and you chuckle softly.

    1. avatar NikcaP says:

      Remember it’s not an arsenal until you have a bunker…

  58. avatar Mike says:

    If your SSN is made up of several different gun calibers, is that a good sign, or does that make me a gun nut?

    1. avatar Ralph says:


  59. …after a hard rain you find lost brass in your back yard.

    1. avatar Chrispy says:

      All the time

  60. …you think James Yeager is soft spoken.

  61. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    If you’ve ever borrowed from your 401k to buy ammo.

  62. avatar brian p says:

    When you wonder how your ammo feels being in a hot garage. Its in ammo cans

  63. avatar Model 31 says:

    if you assume your neighbor and his kids are shooting .22 in their front yard and notice that you were not invited. A few minutes later, you realize they are popping the remaining firecrackers from earlier in the week…Happened barely two hours ago.

  64. avatar Cucamonga Jeff says:

    Your idea of spending time with your children involves sitting around a tub of ammo and having them load up your mags. And they like it!

  65. avatar Scott says:

    Your guns are all white glove clean and your truck is filthy.

    1. avatar JWM says:

      There’s a draught on and I’m being a good citizen and not washing my 4runner.

      1. avatar SteveInCO says:

        A draft? Or did you mean drought?

  66. avatar Siris says:

    If you proposed to your wife at the rifle range.. (The ring made up for it tho. lol)

    If you passwords are your guns SN’s.

    If you use the “tatical thumb guage” for measuring group size.

  67. avatar Decker says:

    When the size of your girlfriends bust is the same caliber as your EDC and all you can think about is buying a 1911.

  68. …your son gives your wife this flower arrangement for her birthday

  69. avatar Grindstone says:

    I had a license plate with “545” on it.

    Also, when I lived in the ghetto, I could ID the caliber of the round being used in the nightly gang shooting.

  70. avatar Condicion Uno says:

    When you are bored at the office, and you see through the window something at some distance and think “I can shoot that with my rifle” from here…

    1. avatar Gov. William J. Le Petomane says:

      Or if you think how Jerry Miculek could hit that with a snub-nosed Smith held upside down pulling the trigger with his pinky.

  71. avatar Lance says:

    When your scream is “I missed” from your nightmare at night!

  72. avatar Greg says:

    When you refer to your “solo grown up time” as a dry fire drill

  73. avatar Red in Texas says:

    You plan vacations around NFA item approvals.

  74. avatar JWM says:

    First time this happened I was 14. A widow of a ww2 vet asked around for someone that knew about guns cause she had found something in her late husbands footlocker in the attic. Everybody she asked pointed her to me. People that were not related to me gave her my name. That one was a 1911.

    It’s happened a number of times since. Usually widows finding something their husbands had that they didn’t know about.

    It can be interesting. Once I found sweating dynamite in an old outbuilding. Back in WV a lot of the old timers had explosives of one type or another.

  75. avatar Bob says:

    You stoop to pick up spent brass before you would change.

    You pick up brass in calibers you don’t shoot and have multiple tubs of them.

    You have over 15lb of various gun powders and over 10k of various types of primers.

    Buying ammo by the case is a normal purchase qty.

  76. avatar One of the good guys says:

    You’re a gun nut if u keep refreshing this page to read the new comments!

    1. avatar Paul53 says:

      Am not!

  77. avatar 'Liljoe says:

    When you have 5 guns you haven’t even shot yet and you buy just one more for when the weather clears…

    1. avatar mark s. says:

      Unless you are talking about a revolver and a fair quality one at that . Shoot your gun as soon as you get it home , don’t wait any more than a week . Never put a firearm in the hold unless you have fired it with the ammo it will be eating and know it likes it , no hiccups , no FTF , FTE problems , gasses all expelled correctly , and you have zeroed in the sights or scope and you know it is preforming like yours or some ones life depended on it . I wouldn’t want to place my life in the hands of Nancy on the Ruger assembly line . I have had my share of out of the box successes and also failures . Hello NSA .

  78. avatar Usriflecaliber.30m1 says:

    You dog’s name is Trigger. (Mine is.)

  79. avatar Paul53 says:

    Your sons are named Colt and Walther.

  80. avatar ThomasR says:

    You know you’re a gun nut when you know what cover versus concealment means.

    1. avatar One of the good guys says:

      And if you think these terms have something to do with makeup … you ain’t a gun nut!

  81. avatar Kevin says:

    When you forget to eat supper because you were busy at your reloading bench.

  82. avatar What About Bob says:

    There is a guy at my local gun club with a personalized license plate “TTAG”

  83. avatar Phil LA says:

    If you copy and paste the same article from the previous year.

  84. avatar RandallOfLegend says:

    When you have a strong opinion on handgun calibers.

  85. avatar Ryan says:

    Your sister names her some Samuel and lets you pick his middle name and she agrees with it. Samuel “Colt” 🙂

  86. avatar Nate says:

    LOL seriously I do all this! When I was a cashier at the local supermarket I’d get the total $7.62 and I’d say it “Seven Six Two” and pause for a second. One time the total was $30.06 and I said “Thirty aught Six” and the guy looked at me and said “You must be a hunter, its ok I do it sometimes” I just smiled and laughed a bit. I don’t hunt but I am a bonafide gun nut! I’ve said $5.56 like Five Five Six and people look at me like I have two heads lol.

    1. avatar SteveInCO says:

      No, it’s not bad until you see the 7.62 and you read off “three oh eight.” Or vice versa. Similarly with 223 and 556.

      Similar things can happen with 10.76 and 10.06 (“ten aught six”)

      [Which…by the way, is technically bad grammar, it should be thirty (or ten) naught six. But that is ingrained so much I didn’t even realize it was wrong until recently. But I haven’t given up on getting people to pronounce “Lapua” correctly. (Hint, it’s not Lah-POO-ah.)]

  87. avatar Nate says:

    You have ammunition for firearms you don’t own…or even plan on owning within a year. lol

    1. avatar Denny says:

      I had bought a couple hundred rounds of .50 AE hoping my wife would feel sorry for me and tell me to buy a gun to use it.
      It worked.

    2. avatar Chrispy says:

      I have a single live round of .35 Remington kicking around from when I cleaned out my grandfather’s house. Don’t expect that’ll be fired any time soon.

  88. avatar Former Water Walker says:

    If you begin and end each day looking at TTAG-guilty as charged…

  89. If you use 22, 25, 38, 44, 45 and 50 for lottery numbers… 😉

  90. avatar ThomasR says:

    You know you’re a gun nut when you get up early to stand in line to buy a 500 rnd. box of .22lr ammo at your local gun store on thier ammo delivery day.

  91. avatar CCDWGuy says:

    Your spouse leaves you messages with employees at the gun range.

  92. You might be a gun nut if you are shocked when you learn that you can keep money in a safe.

  93. avatar Jim says:

    You start a new gun fund out of spare change and find yourself getting change for 20’s and 50’s to fill up the jar quicker.

    You justify a new gun purchase by saying “but if the zombies come this will really come in handy” and your wife agrees…

  94. avatar Alan762 says:

    Our work trucks are numbered 9,17,22,32 38 next truck will be 40.

    1. avatar SteveInCO says:

      You left out 10. And it looks like you plan to leave out 44. I’m going to assume you haven’t left out 357.

      25 was probably worth leaving out.

  95. avatar tsbhoA.P.jr says:

    you buy a hundred rounds of .375 h&h off of harmslist because “somebody” is gonna want that…

  96. avatar arsh says:

    You still check TTAG even after someone allowed it to be used as a Craigslist ad.

  97. avatar Milsurp Collector says:

    TTAG is your only form of social media (occasional Skype calls notwithstanding).

  98. avatar SteveInCO says:

    I had one of those little RSA dinguses that displayed a different random-seeming six digit number every minute (people love to play “poker” with those). One time I looked at it and it was displaying “308308” so I dropped what I was doing and bought a bolt action in that caliber (technically, I think it’s 7.62×51 but you get the idea). It is an extremely good gun, easily shooting under 1 MOA even in my hands with my crappy eyesight. I wonder what a truly competent rifleman could do with it.

  99. avatar Bob109 says:

    …if you buy so much ammunition that everyone thinks you are hoarding…but you really do shoot that much.

  100. avatar mark s. says:

    There , that feels better .

    1. avatar mark s. says:


      1. avatar mark s. says:

        Lord help me ! I’m now highlighting the best ones . I MAY NEVER LEAVE THIS PAGE . G R E A T S T U F F .

        1. avatar mark s. says:

          I’ m cutting and pasting now . I think a book is in the works . Is this stuff copy written ?

        2. You seem to have a lot of time on your hands. Have you been to meme generator .com? Some of these would make good memes.

  101. avatar JJ48 says:

    You know you’re a gun nut when…

    …your collection of spent brass is worth more than most people’s investments in gold and silver.

    …instead of Kirk/Picard, you’re involved in debates of Kalashnikov/Stoner.

    …you feel disgusted that the previous joke didn’t mention Browning instead.

    …you hear about turmoil in Ukraine and your immediate reaction is to wonder what small arms the Russians are using these days.

    …you have no need to wonder about Russian small arms, because you’ve already memorized the calibers, firing rates, and ballistic properties of all small arms in common use by major militaries.

    …you spend your time commenting on gun blogs about what makes someone a gun nut.

  102. avatar onezero says:

    You make the comment, “The ex got the M&P in the divorce.”

    1. avatar Old Air Force says:

      No worries here, wife has her own M&P, AR, Ruger revolver, etc. That is part of what keeps us together. Does that sound like gun nuts? We answer to that proudly. 20th anniversary was a day at the rifle range(her idea) then nice dinner that night. Gunsmoke and Italian go good together. Back to reading about real gun nuts(enthusiasts).

  103. avatar onezero says:

    The bags you use in your small trash cans are from Cabelas from your ammo & powder purchases. And you never seem to run out of bags.

  104. avatar Gohnn says:

    You try to momentary stop the fuel pump at $30.06

  105. avatar mark s. says:

    I going to compile all the data here and see which caliber gets mentioned the most and then compile the data from favorite gun comments and see if the calibers match and presto , we’ll end up with a consensus favorite all around gun in America choice . I think it is going to be something in 30.06 and probably a browning . I do love my BAR . OXOXOXOX

    1. avatar One of the good guys says:

      Dude! You really like this thread! You think I could get a copy of that printout after you’ve highlighted it? I don’t have a printer because I opted to buy ammo instead, and my boss won’t let me print stuff from the TTAG website at work since that time I “accidentally” used a whole ream of paper while printing favorite TTAG articles. (He just doesn’t get it.)

      1. avatar mark s. says:

        Before I compile all the data , what’s you guess on favorite gun and caliber ? If I worked for me I’d fire me on the spot , but then again I wouldn’t be at the office 15 hours a day either . I not going to take the time to calculate this stuff if I don’t get at least 250 comments and so far twenty of these are my own . Come on people , I need more input . More material . Got to make this book fresh .

        1. avatar One of the good guys says:

          I love to shoot my .45 cal 1911, but my EDC is a 9mm for maximum number of rounds to weight carried ratio (is that a thing?). I also have a couple of 300 BLK which sound Awsome with a can, but I have a couple of 556 ARs because when the Apocalypse strikes I need to be able to scavenge ammo for a popular rifle caliber!

  106. avatar Chrispy says:

    If you laugh when someone says the joke “Three nazi’s walk into a BAR.”

  107. …your watching the Braves and when you sit down on the Lazy Boy, your outside waist band holster hits the remote control and tuns the channel to Judge Mablean. True story!

  108. …you take your coffee with a shot of Sailor Jerry Spiced Rum. This has nothing to do with guns but your a “gun nut”. You think everything has to do with guns!

  109. avatar Hoplopfheil says:

    If you buy an AMT Backup out of curiosity.

  110. …rather than fireworks on Independence Day, you bought tracer rounds and Tannerite. True story.

    1. avatar mark s. says:

      Every year , it’s a tradition . Fun as , well almost as , you know . Sorry to hear about the rotator . My wife has this problem and it makes her moan more at night than I do .

  111. avatar Dave says:

    I microwave all my leftovers 2:23 at a time!

  112. avatar Roymond says:

    This forum…

    I clicked to make a comment. It took 19 seconds until the page stopped jumping around and I could type. When I finished, I clicked “Post Comment” — and my comment disappeared.

    So I find it halfway up the page, behind my response to “One of the Good Guys”!

    I decided to delete and put it down where I meant it to be. So I clicked “Delete”, and confirmed . . . and the page froze/locked.

    1. avatar mark s. says:

      It sometimes takes us here at NSA headquarters in Utah to override the data breach digital com stock on file 4739009451H2322 . Sorry for the inconvenience . Your comment will appear momentarily . Have a nice day .

  113. avatar Stan says:

    When you use dead bugs crushed on your windshield to sight objects on the road.

    1. …you know your dominant eye.

  114. avatar Sean Green says:

    This just happened to me at work looking at a list of phone extensions,223,226,229 etc,I laughed at my self

  115. avatar mark s. says:

    If you’re sleepy and you can’t sleep , just count your pistols instead of sheep , and you’ll fall asleep , counting your pistols . If your bankroll is getting small , just think of when you had no pistols at all . WORKS .

  116. avatar Stogie says:

    You go to a military base on Armed Forces day, see a Mk19 and ask to test fire it…with a straight face.

  117. avatar Jervis says:

    Old habits die hard: Your new girlfriend can’t understand why her contact in my phone is named “Norma Magnum”

  118. avatar J. D. Smith says:

    You actually like the smell of cosmoline and don’t mind cleaning Mosins and Yugo Mausers. Maybe you’re a gun nut if you own more than 5 of each- yes guilty.

  119. avatar One of the good guys says:

    Your wife is angry because you’re not paying attention as you’re walking into the restaurant, but in fact you ARE paying attention … to where all the exits are … to your spare mag … to your daughter sitting in the seat you wanted so your back is against the wall … to the nearest locations for concealment and cover … to the creepy guy at the bar watching your wife as she walks by …

  120. avatar fosscad says:

    If you calculate the price of things based on how many guns or bullets you could purchase for the same amount.

  121. avatar mark s. says:

    NSA data breach , PLEASE STAND BY . Monitoring access files 2.237.6230302240384595.563230.06308 . Thank you for your patience .

  122. avatar J.P. says:

    When I work out I count each exercise as $100 however many sets I do on each machine/bench equals my total. Then I go fantasy purchase however many guns I got in my workout. For instance I do 6 sets bench, incline, power clean, I can then go and pretend buy 3 guns for $600. Silly I know, but a good motivator.

  123. avatar Kent W says:

    I’ve read all to here. ME TOO. I admit it. And I live in the SF Bay area. lets keep this between us. Thanks

  124. avatar LordGopu says:

    When you can only remember your license plate cuz it’s made up of a combination of US military small arms model numbers.

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