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Go ahead. Make our day.

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  1. “I may close early today. There’s a 15-day wait on the hand guns but the rifles you can take right now. “

    • If I start loading up shells in the SPAS-12, are you going to tell me “hey, you can’t do that here?” 🙂

  2. I shot Sneezy, Sleepy, Dopey, Doc, Happy and Bashful with this little M4 carbine. Why? Because I’m f^cking Grumpy, that’s why.

  3. “HUGE ar15 sale!!!”

    “No no no, I said I wanted a SIG ar15.”

    “Now all I have to do is sneak this past my wife.”

  4. Karl Lippard shot this very rifle out to 6,000 yards. There were 15 people there but none of them have emails.

  5. From the press release: “Viagra Arms is pleased to announce their first rifle.”


    Damn, I guess everything really is bigger in Texas.


    “So Mitch and I are in the gunsmithing room, looking at an AR and a shell casing from a 20mm Vulcan cannon, and I sez to him, ‘I just thought a sumthin’. Here, hold my beer, I want to see if this works’, and the next thing you know…”

  6. “You should see the M14. I couldn’t even get it through the door.”

    Uncle Buck reference – when he’s making pancakes for Miles’ birthday.

  7. For too long, hunters of large, dangerous game in Alaska and Africa have been forced to use quaint, old-fashioned bolt-action rifles to pursue their quarry. This is the rifle that changes all that. Armalite (TM) is proud to announce their entry into the big-game market with the all-new AR-OMFG.

  8. In an effort to standardize the manual of arms in Perfection Valley, Burt Gummer recently replaced his LAR Grizzly Big Bore rifle with an Armalite AR 1500 to combat the subterranean pests witch plague the usually quiet valley.

  9. Sadly, after months of labor and thousands of dollars, Bob had to admit he had a vision problem.

  10. Don’t be ofended, but, if you aint buying something PLEASE get out of the store.

    I really didn’t think mother would mind if I got the smaller caliber.

    JEEESUS!!!! I was looking all over for this!!!!!

    Can I leave this with you? I got to use the bathroom.

    You only need to shoot once. Thank god for it too! It gives you a head ache by the second shot.

    How to give yourself amnesea.

  11. ..”In order to keep tabs on ATF enabled gun smuggling into Mexico, Congress passed new weapons legislation on Friday…”


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