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  1. Does it come in pink?
    Those prairie dogs don’t stand a chance.
    Where is that shoulder thingy that goes up?
    This is how to celebrate Veterans Day.
    If only Richard Gatling could see me now.

  2. Every school girl’s dream…
    So, you are going to the dance with Sally Brown?
    Washington High students explore alternate birth control methods.

    Chastity belt, I don’t need no stinking chastity belt!!!

  3. The latest reports on Operation Fast and Furious indicate that some arms were sold to St. Augustine Middle School. The ATF has not returned any calls, but St. Augustine has reportedly thrown away their rulers.

  4. Sensing their vulnerability, Voldemort sprung his trap and, too late, Harry Potter realized that he’d left their wands in the Hogwarts’ library. Quick-thinking Hermione grabbed the schools’ chain gun and unloaded on Valdemort shrieking “Magic!!?? We don’t need no steenkin’ Magic!!!”

  5. The scenic vistas, the wind in your hair, the brass at your feet.

    Father daughter bonding priceless.

  6. “Oh, daddy! It’s *so* much better than a pony!”

    Seriously, though, where did you find this photo? Is it a ‘shop? Short of being Major Malfunction’s progeny, what circumstances could possibly lead to a schoolgirl gleefully burping a mini gun? I don’t remember school field trips being anywhere near that fun.

  7. Sister Mary told me never to touch it, but she never told me it would be this much fun and make me feel so excited.

  8. There is nothing more dangerous than a 14 year old girl with PMS. Scratch that….There is nothing more dangerous than a 14 year old girl with PMS and a mini gun!

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