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These almost write themselves. Take a crack at it.

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  1. Everyone is going “green.” Introducing the newest tank in the Army… runs on the hot air sourced from liberals in Washington.

  2. Technological advances produce unexpected changes in the swords to plowshares department. It’s anyone’s guess with the lions and lambs.

  3. Defense department cost-cutting measures gone horribly awry.
    The Partridge Family Urban Assault Vehicle.
    Lure the Hippies in real close then, BLAMMO!

  4. It’s better to have a balloon tank and not need it than to need a balloon tank and not have it.

    FPS Russia tests his new toy

  5. Obama’s first new weapon for a friendlier, more progressive military…and he only used $1 billion in stimulus money to create it!

  6. The UN decided that their blue helmets were already too indimidating so they set out to design a less “offensive” tank.

  7. “Police were on the lookout for two gun-waving clowns who threatened to shoot employees and customers of the Denver jewelry store they robbed on Thursday.

    “‘They couldn’t have gotten far,’ said Officer Krupke of the Denver PD. ‘Not without their getaway vehicle.'”

  8. Haliburton’s $1,275,450,345 dollar prototype 100 % invisible to the untrained eye camo tank,as accepted by the ATF e (RBF) for stopping the gun flow to Mexico

  9. And then, one day the Ikea Ball Pit grew weary of being played with by snotty children. It reconfigured itself into battle mode and began wreaking havoc on suburbia.

  10. Arnold’s birthday party and nobody showed up for some reason. Wonder what he did that could have offended anyone? He’ll be back.

  11. The official assault vehicle of the Jelly Belly jellybean company.
    They’re going to teach Hersey’s Chocolate a lesson they’ll never forget!

  12. After repealing the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, the military turns to San Francisco and GLAAD to design a friendlier, nicer, greener armored vehicle. After billions spent in design, they came up with a vehicle that fires heart and flower-shaped confetti at extremely low velocities.


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