Get your minds out of the gutter! “Rise” here has nothing to do with peripatetic pistoleros experiencing terry cloth-clad titillation. It means “increasingly popular.” As in it’s increasingly popular to pack heat in a bathrobe. I know what you’re thinking: why not pack a pistol in your sweatpants pocket? Setting aside questions about being perceived as pleased to see someone, quickly and efficiently removing a firearm from a sweatpants pocket in an emergency is about as easy as convincing your ex to give up her alimony check for Lent. Sure, readers like our svelte Ryan Finn can can slob-carry in sweats with a Remora holster. But OFWGs are SOL with that rig . . .
Provided you’ve got a stout enough robe [not shown above for obvious technical reasons], a light enough gun, a Wild Bill’s Concealment Pocket Packer and the AC cranked up in the summer, a tactical bathrobe is a year-round solution to the problem of chilling-out at home while exercising your human, civil and Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms.
Driving a white car risks immediate suspension of your Man Card. White bathrobes are different. ‘Cause I say so. If you want something a little more macho, or tend to get sloppy with your Welch’s grape juice, the terrycloth bathrobe industry offers a wide range of color choices. Loads of vendors offer the garment in camo—in case tactics demand you exit your trailer.
Clearly, the tactical bathrobe is in its nascent stage. It needs work. I’m looking to convince a clothier to produce a “proper” tactical bathrobe in black (‘natch) with pockets for spare ammo, a knife, flashlight and maybe even a plate carrier front and back. Any other ideas?