Reader Dave H. put his thinking cap on and has devised a way to soothe the fragile psyches of some of those we deal with on a regular basis:
I read about the decision to ban fifty word from New York tests because they didn’t meet politically correct muster. Like others on the site, I let a few rants fly in the discussion, but then I had an epiphany: “The guy down the street with all the guns is right”. No wait, that was a poster I saw yesterday. I realized maybe we could PC-ize the “assault weapon.” Turn their favorite weapon – words – against them. I mean who would be afraid of a “high capacity magazine” (their term not mine) if we called it instead a “manufacturer-standard cartridge loading device?” Of course, we don’t have to use these terms with our brothers and sister in arms, just the individuals disinclined to acquiesce to our request. Our request being, of course, leave me the hell alone to exercise my constitutional rights as I see fit. To aid in future
arguments discussions with the more “progressive”-minded gun grabbers, I came up with the following PC versions of assault weapon definitions . . .
Semi-automatic – Self repeating firearm (see…not nearly as scary)
Detachable magazine – Removable manufacturer-standard cartridge loading device
Collapsible stock- Multi-user ergonomic adjustable platform
Folding stock – Maximum space utilization platform
Pistol Grip – Ergonomic user interface handle
Threaded barrels – Muzzle device compatible barrel
Flash suppressor – Exhaust gas luminance control device or retina preservation system
Muzzle brakes – Exhaust gas recoil dampening device
Compensator – See above
Barrel shroud – Forward hand safety envelope
Assault weapon – Modular self-repeating home defense tool
I don’t really know if these would actually help in a prospective argument, but they might. And maybe they’d even get some new shooters to the range. That would make it all worth it.
Genius, sheer GENIUS!
Well said 🙂
I can’t remember all that $#!+.
You’re allowed to have notes and flash cards… I mean, Rapid Visual Acquisition Educational Aids!
What about silencers? “Sensitive Ear Sound Attenuation Device”?
What about “Preventive Hearing Loss Protection”.
Passive Hearing Safety Device.
Gee, BS is fun!
Tinnitus prevention tube.
How about “Malthusian Population Adjustment Device”?
I don’t like the “self repeating” part of the semi auto/assault weapon. I prefer User Controlled, pressure ejecting rifle”
I’d prefer the old auto-loading term rather than self-repeating.
It’s not a rifle, it’s a Defensive Projectile Dispensing Mechanism.
cannot read pic…
(old) engineer who helped create the internet also can’t figure how to get a decent sized image
Mikhail Kalashnikov would be offended that the chart implies that the AK-47’s design was influenced by the StG 44. He insists that he came up with the design on his own.
Yeah, and it was only a few years ago he was cornered and admitted he had several of the StG developers, “liberated” by the Soviet army, working with him after WWII *at all*.
Yeah, they helped out with the stamping process, nothing else, if you look at the insides of the stg and the ak platform, they are quite different.
And one of them was Hugo Schmeisser, who designed the StG44…
“Assault Rifle” is a term that has real meaning. “Assault Weapon” is a political term, meaning something different depending one which politician you talk to. Therefore, “Assault Weapon” is a meaningless term.
Correct. A large stick can be an “assault weapon.”
Link to FULL SIZE image, please
Clicking on the image will take you to the source.
It is still to small to read.
Im in low res hell 😀
I can’t afford a wall-sized monitor.
this isn’t a link to a better sized image BUT it’s at least the man behind the illustration and options to purchase. looks like i’ll be spending some money soon!!!
Thank You! 🙂
And thank you. 🙁
Bi-metal excreting device with self injecting capability on a user adjustable, shoulder mounted, dual handled platform…
Elegant linguistic depiction, Beldar! Surely the aggressive authority figures clod in reinforced cavalry footwear shall relinquish the persecution of beings who cherish the just claim to retain and wield bi-metal excreting devices!
Barrel Shroud – Shoulder thing that goes up.
I just laughed so hard!
Someone had to say it 😀
That’s cute. Seriously, though, words do matter and recapturing the vocabulary is an important tactical objective in the overall strategy of maintaining and expanding our firearms freedoms. A few real world examples of rephrasing I’ve used are below. I don’t claim originality of any or all of them in particular. Some I may have started using on my own, but most I’m sure I’ve picked up from others along the way.
Not guns, but firearms or, better, household firearms
Not handgun, but sidearm
Not assault weapon/rifle, but self-defense firearm
Not high capacity magazine, but standard capacity magazine
Not concealed gun/handgun, but privately carried firearm/sidearm
Not concealed carry, but private carry or right to carry
Not pro-gun, but pro-self-defense or pro-freedom
Not anti-gun, but anti-civil rights
Not Second Amendment, but Bill of Rights
Not gun owner, but responsible firearms owner
Not common sense legislation, but senseless victimization measures
Not gun control, but dangerous disarmament
Not preventing a return to the Wild, Wild West, but promoting a return to a reckless, racist past
I could go on, because it’s actually pretty fun. Recast the debate using terms that readily inject reality into the discussion, and subtly extract emotion from it. If we can get people at least to speak in terms that reflect reality, then perhaps we’ve made some progress toward both getting them to think in terms that reflect reality and fortifying them against false arguments.
Very good work.
Great job! Anyone else have any to add?
This is awesome Jon- I mean really awesome!
Just call the whole deal the Child Protection Device. Oh, but the acronym is taken, darn chicago cops..
When enemies approach please oppose and nuetralize.
Hay Dan you forgot the Dems major fupa the evil bayonet lug LOL
Bayonet lug = accessory attachment point.
That would be “decision to ban 50 words” not “decision to ban 50 word.”
Well it was amusing to read, anyway, even if nothing will really come of it.
Not “self-repeating.” The term “self-loading” is already in use, and more apt.
Never adopt your enemy’s vocabulary; Never modify it to fit their argumentary points.
Assault Weapons= Firearms
Assault Pistols= Firearms
gun = Constitutionally protectected self defense mechanism
I can’t believe this follows so closely on a reference to Wittgenstein in a recent article. His point was that language is a very limited medium for conveying information, and where language fails it is better to be silent than to introduce confusion or antipathy. He was a bit of a twerp though, and most people who bestowed the title of genius upon him, did so because they failed to follow his arguments.
What’s wrong with “Rifle”, “Shotgun”, “Pistol” or “Revolver”. Sub category is less important than the actual form. “Assault” is not a term that should be used for commercially available rifles. Keep it simple, folks, there are some very dim bulbs on the other side.