Squirrel Attacks Cop: It Should Have Been A Defensive Gun Use!

Flying squirrel (courtesy youtube.com)

“Police in Brockport, New York were called to help with an uninvited squirrel inside a home,” abc11.com reports. “The squirrel ran all over the place, but eventually, officers were able to catch it. The rambunctious rodent was released outside, and no one was hurt.” Yes BUT —

Rambunctious? That damn tree rat attacked the cop! In other words, it posed an imminent threat of grievous bodily harm to the responding officer. It should have been a defensive gun use!

Or not. We report, you deride.


  1. avatar Ralph says:

    Rocky squirrel found, Natasha, but where is moose?

    1. avatar LKB says:

      A Møøse once bit my sister. . . .

      1. avatar BLoving says:

        That {rabbit} squirrel is dynamite!

      2. avatar jwm says:

        Weren’t you sacked from the credits?

        1. avatar Ing says:

          The person responsible for sacking the person responsible has now been sacked.

        2. avatar LKB says:

          Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretti nasti…

  2. avatar ActionPhysicalMan says:

    I don’t think police should take squirrel calls. The aren’t a free pest control service.

    1. avatar Ken says:

      Meh, it’s Brockport. What else would be happening in Brockport? I doubt the local PD was workin’ a bunch of murders, gangs running wild, and the like. And this kept them occupied with something other than running a speed trap on the road coming through town. Protect (HAR!) and “serve” don’tchaknow. Or something like that. Heck, if I had a buck for each call I ever answered in 32 years that wasn’t in the academy training, I could have retired in 25.

    2. avatar RandallOfLegend says:

      Gives them a break from speed traps and busting college parties.

    3. avatar Jonathan-Houston says:

      Forget it, Jake; it’s Brockport.

    4. avatar Hannibal says:

      There are a lot of PDs that are “full service departments” because citizens demand it. They see cops just driving around and want them to do stuff. Animal calls are a classic example. A lot of ‘full service calls’ mean that a police officer gets dispatched and has to waste gas driving to the place only to end up having no help to offer. Okay, there’s a squirrel in your house. Let’s open the doors and hope he leaves.

      There was once a woman near me who kept calling the police because a bird had a string around it’s foot. She thought that this required the intervention of authorities (bird was fine except for looking somewhat ridiculous). Cop would arrive, bird would fly off, cop would leave, and the whole thing would repeat the next day. God it would be amazing to be able to tell people to stop calling for stupid shit like that…

      1. avatar TX_Lawyer says:

        If I was the cop, I would have been sorely tempted to bring my shotgun and shoot the bird.

  3. avatar Amfivena says:

    Surprised a dog didn’t get shot for some reason or another…

    Otherwise agree with a poster above, not a good use of tax dollars. Hire an exterminator, don’t feed your pet cat or dog for a while, or buy your kids a pellet gun.

  4. avatar tsbhoa.p.jr says:

    it’s fun determining if they are flying squirrels. most of the ones around here fail the test.

  5. avatar Michael says:

    About as funny as when Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit.

    1. avatar Just Sayin says:

      Hey, that’s not anything to be made fun of.
      Google “The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog”.

      1. avatar Ing says:

        What’s he gonna do, nibble me bum?

  6. avatar GS650G says:

    Full on SWAT next time. Breech with flash bangs and gas.

  7. avatar Uh-hu says:

    Das Eichhörnchen!

  8. avatar anarchyst says:

    I’m surprised that they did not deploy a SWAT team so that they could have (legally) shot up and destroyed the place…

    1. avatar Hannibal says:

      Well, if you call the police because there’s a squirrel in your house I’m thinking you are basically asking for them to make some holes in your wall since you can’t figure out how to chase the rodent out a door.

  9. avatar Ing says:

    Looks like a good time was had by all. I love how everybody in the video, cops included, is laughing.

  10. avatar Me says:

    A squirrel = defensive gun use? Seriously?

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      Hey, that squirrel was nuts.

      1. avatar LKB says:

        Well, if it’s a New York squirrel:


  11. avatar John from CBus says:

    Isis has claimed responsibility for the rampant take off of rodent attacks verses our peace officers. In a statement to al jazeera leaders have claimed this will not just be squirrels, but we will see attacks from chipmunks, mice and other small furry woodland creatures.

    1. avatar Ing says:

      Their fortunes must really be on the decline if they’ve been reduced from lone wolf attacks to random rodents.

  12. avatar KeeboardKommando says:

    Probably shot their dog instead.

    1. avatar Ralph says:

      Hey, the dog made a furtive movement. He was licking his balls. His own balls, I mean. If he was licking the cops balls he wouldn’t have been shot.

  13. avatar MLee says:

    I shot 56 squirrels in 2017. 2018 should be even better. Tree rats, that’s all they are. Destructive rodents.

  14. avatar NumbNuts says:

    Officer down! We need back up! Call in the K-9!

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

button to share on facebook
button to tweet
button to share via email