Flying squirrel (courtesy youtube.com)

“Police in Brockport, New York were called to help with an uninvited squirrel inside a home,” abc11.com reports. “The squirrel ran all over the place, but eventually, officers were able to catch it. The rambunctious rodent was released outside, and no one was hurt.” Yes BUT —

Rambunctious? That damn tree rat attacked the cop! In other words, it posed an imminent threat of grievous bodily harm to the responding officer. It should have been a defensive gun use!

Or not. We report, you deride.

32 COMMENTS

    • Meh, it’s Brockport. What else would be happening in Brockport? I doubt the local PD was workin’ a bunch of murders, gangs running wild, and the like. And this kept them occupied with something other than running a speed trap on the road coming through town. Protect (HAR!) and “serve” don’tchaknow. Or something like that. Heck, if I had a buck for each call I ever answered in 32 years that wasn’t in the academy training, I could have retired in 25.

    • There are a lot of PDs that are “full service departments” because citizens demand it. They see cops just driving around and want them to do stuff. Animal calls are a classic example. A lot of ‘full service calls’ mean that a police officer gets dispatched and has to waste gas driving to the place only to end up having no help to offer. Okay, there’s a squirrel in your house. Let’s open the doors and hope he leaves.

      There was once a woman near me who kept calling the police because a bird had a string around it’s foot. She thought that this required the intervention of authorities (bird was fine except for looking somewhat ridiculous). Cop would arrive, bird would fly off, cop would leave, and the whole thing would repeat the next day. God it would be amazing to be able to tell people to stop calling for stupid shit like that…

  1. Surprised a dog didn’t get shot for some reason or another…

    Otherwise agree with a poster above, not a good use of tax dollars. Hire an exterminator, don’t feed your pet cat or dog for a while, or buy your kids a pellet gun.

  2. I’m surprised that they did not deploy a SWAT team so that they could have (legally) shot up and destroyed the place…

    • Well, if you call the police because there’s a squirrel in your house I’m thinking you are basically asking for them to make some holes in your wall since you can’t figure out how to chase the rodent out a door.

  3. Isis has claimed responsibility for the rampant take off of rodent attacks verses our peace officers. In a statement to al jazeera leaders have claimed this will not just be squirrels, but we will see attacks from chipmunks, mice and other small furry woodland creatures.

    • Hey, the dog made a furtive movement. He was licking his balls. His own balls, I mean. If he was licking the cops balls he wouldn’t have been shot.

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