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“Why would some of these students choose to stay in their current living situations? Some of them are undoubtedly too busy clicking their spurs together and shooting multiple revolvers into the air, Yosemite Sam-style, to have heard the news. Others may be buried underneath a pile of commemorative, pearl-handled shooters purchased at the most recent gun show, unable to reach the door. At least two are currently building a recreation of the Fortress of Solitude off-campus in the nearby woods, crafting a sleek, silent Gun Palace where they will never again have to explain to their bemused RAs why they choose to own guns or submit to being corralled into weaponized dorm zones. With cobalt-blue bolt bedframes and state-of-the-art pistol slide door hinges, the Gun Palace is the only choice for the discriminating CU gun owner.” – Mallory Ortberg, Nobody Rushing to Move Into University of Colorado’s “Gun Dorms” [via gawker.com]

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21 COMMENTS

  1. Ever notice how the gun haters go straight for the ridicule? No attempt at all to present their ideas in a logical, mature fashion. And they wonder why they’re losing the debate.

    • And on the flipside I’ve noticed that some gun supporters, and this site comment section is sometimes a prime example, also jump to ridicule and rash generalization. And we wonder why it’s so hard to educate people.

        • Can’t troll something that is true. Are you saying that anti-gun people making rash statements comparing pro-gun people as Yosemite Sam types is wrong, but pro-gun people making equally rash statements regarding anti-gun people is fine and dandy? How does that win an argument? How does that draw the people in the middle to your side of the discussion?

          So, if trying to advance a pro-gun message, smartly and not resorting to the same tactics of mudslinging and wild untrue accusations makes me a troll, then so be it. I’ve won more people over to the side of pro-gun ownership by talking fact than the the people I see at gun shows and stores spewing propaganda and anti-liberal hate speech.

        • “In other words, you don’t have a clue, do you? Troll.”

          He’s not trolling; he’s making a perfectly legitimate statement, one which he doesn’t (and I don’t) understand why you think needs further clarification. But in the interest of not ridiculing those who may richly deserve it, I’ll clarify it for you:

          It’s hard to educate people (in this case, potentially or actually anti-gun people), and therefore potentially change minds, when the default reaction for many pro-gun individuals is ridicule and rash generalization. In other words, you’re not likely to change anyone’s mind if you start out by calling them an idiot, or stupid.

          “Why can’t they just understand the simple logic of our position?”
          “Because, prior to presenting your logic, you implied he was of below average intelligence, and had the cognition of a well-developed sponge.”

          Get it now?

        • Here’s what I get. I ask a perfectly legitimate question and statement about the behavior and hypocrisy of gun haters. Along come Phil and Matt, who don’t even bother to answer the question I posed. Instead, in a fashion that Saul Alinsky himself would be proud of, they try to turn it around on someone else.

          Nice try at deflection, guys, but….. EPIC FAIL

        • …who don’t even bother to answer the question I posed.

          It looked a lot like a rhetorical question to me. Are you that in need of validation? Fine. You asked, “Ever notice how the gun haters go straight for the ridicule?”

          My answer, “Yes, I’ve noticed it.” Now that we’ve agreed my powers of observation are equal to yours, are we free to express our own thoughts?

          Phil’s comment wasn’t meant as deflection, it was simply a comment about how our side often exhibits similar behavior, and that’s something about which we may have some control. We can’t change how they behave, but we can potentially modify our side’s behavior to be less offensive and thus have a better chance of winning hearts and minds.

  2. So why has no one applied? That would have been a more useful paragraph than this run-on logorrhea.

    Possible reasons? Two I can surmise. One, no one 21 or older wants to live in a dorm. Two, gun owners are refusing to move to the ghetto. In other words, they’re walking among the general population, unseen, unknown… [cue scary music]

  3. Dorms are a ripoff no matter what your gun owning status is.An old roomate of mine went to Loyola in Chicago,and his dad figured they’d save money BUYING a lakeside condo and renting out the extra space than paying Loyola’s expensive dorm housing fees for 4 years.

  4. Are they only allowing the guns in the particular dorms and not on the rest of campus?

    If so, I think the last thing I’d want to do is advertise that I have a $500+ item in my dorm room for someone to break in and steal while I’m at class.

    • In theory, if you don’t live in the “gun owner” dorm, you’re not allowed to keep your gun in your room.

      • Wasn’t the whole purpose of the law to disallow such bans though? I’m having trouble figuring out how they’re legally barred from any on campus ban but a dorm ban still has wings. That makes zero sense.

  5. If you replace “guns” with “liberal arts” and change being
    corralled into “weaponized” dorm zones to “passive aggressive
    elitism”: you’ve got almost every campus in the US.

    The Fortress of Solitude would then obviously be the colleges
    of Gender Studies et al; untouchable and unquestionable.

    • The liberal arts are based upon critical thinking. If professors, staff, and students truly embrace the liberal arts, there would be little need for “passive aggressive” behavior, but this would do nothing about elitism.

  6. Why not do it, leave a dummy gun in your room at all times, and then sue the ever living hell out of the college when it gets stolen? Something along the lines of discrimination and knowingly and willingly creating an environment that endangered the students living in these dorms. Not to mention that they probably WANT guns stolen out of the dorm to give them ammo in their next assault on students’ second amendment rights.

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