Quote of the Day: Please Withhold My Name Because I Don’t Want to Get Crank Calls Edition

(courtesy ajgraves.com)

“We Democrats are sick and tired of Republicans constantly using the Constitution to cover up their true plans, which are to make us all afraid of everyone else. Our great president came from a civilized part of the country where there is strict gun control, and he is only trying to bring the benefits of that more modern way of living to the rest of us. I don’t know the exact statistics, but I’m quite certain that Chicago is a lot safer that Morehead City, when it comes to gun violence. But do Republicans and conservatives listen to the voice of reason? No, of course not. All they want to do is whine and complain about how gun control and wealth redistribution violate the Constitution, as if the Constitution were all that great, anyway. There are a lot of things that need to be changed about the Constitution, I’d say, and President Obama needs to change it.” PROUD TO BE A DEMOCRAT, carolinacoastonline.com


  1. avatar Rydak says:

    OMFG!. Koolaid….drink it

  2. avatar tdiinva says:

    This has to be sarcasm.

    1. avatar Steve in MA says:

      I was gonna say, they’re either hilarious or one of the stupidest people in the US

    2. avatar pat says:

      Agreed. But, if serious, I’d like to kill the dumb SOB.

  3. avatar Bill says:

    Sigh. This is their thinking and logic? Makes sense now. They want to completely change our government to a system like France’s. No Thank you.

    1. avatar Mark says:

      France is already… well, France. If the U.S. Constitution is offensive, there are pleny of countries without it.

  4. avatar Nmate says:

    This is satire, right? It has to be.

    1. avatar rgsmithiv says:

      Yes. I mean, right?

    2. avatar blinkypete says:

      I think it’s the type of satire that’s even funnier, because the author doesn’t realize it’s satire. Like Plan 9 from outer space, it’s so bad it’s funny.

      Edit: never mind, this is indeed legitimate sarcasm and satire. Hooray.

  5. avatar Shire-man says:

    If I didnt have so much experience with stupid people I’d have to conclude that this “proud democrat” is a plant trying to make democrats look bad.

    Unfortunately I know without a doubt that people this stupid are out there in great epidemic numbers and attach themselves to every political affiliation there is.

    1. avatar Spoons Make You Fat says:

      I don’t understand why this post makes anyone squeamish. Seriously. Guns are designed to kill people and bullets are the #1 cause of gun deaths. Both true. You can google it.

      It’s also true that alot of people around here get all worked up about the Constitution. The thing is over 200 years old. How can it possibly be relevant today? Books get updated, movies get sequels and a great society marches on.

      The sooner everyone gets on board with reasonable gun control the sooner we can all get on with our lives.

      PS – After reading this post I’ve decided that TTAG needs a better quality of troll.

      1. avatar Matt in FL says:

        I can’t decide if you were trolling or not, which makes it pretty good, I’d say. However, in the case that you weren’t, and there are people who agree with you, I’ll simply address your last statement.

        The sooner everyone gets on board with reasonable gun control the sooner we can all get on with our lives.

        I was getting on with my life just fine until people came along and messed with me and told me I was doing it wrong. If they go away, my life goes on status quo ante.

        1. avatar Spoons Make You Fat says:

          “Reasonable gun control”, like beauty, is apparently in the eye of the beholder.

        2. avatar pat says:

          Reasonable gun control is REDUCING some of the laws and regulations on the books regarding firearms and enforcing the few common sense ones that are genuinely needed.

  6. avatar Sam says:

    This has to either be sattire or a highschool kid.

    1. avatar Thomas Paine says:

      it is satire, read the rest of the letter:

      The Republicans are just trying to stand in the way, because the president is black. They even dared to question whether he was born in this country. I think all this demonstrates that the Constitution needs to be amended when it comes to the qualifications for being president. Right now, it says that a person has to be 35 years old and be a natural born citizen. Well, that is obviously unfair because there are a great many otherwise qualified people who cannot run for president because their mothers had to have a C-section. But because the Constitution was written a hundred years ago, nobody even thought of the discrimination that would result from a doctor having to deliver a baby in this unnatural way. Now that we Democrats are in control of the government, that’s just one more thing we should change in our drive to make life fair.

  7. avatar Profshadow says:

    Morehead City: Murder rate: 1/100,000
    Chicago: Murder rate: 431/100,000
    source: city-data.com
    I think maybe people should do a minimal amount of research before they shoot their mouths off…

    Oh wait…Democrat. Not capable of approaching research objectively.

    1. avatar amagi says:

      No, but it’s how he feels about it that matters.

    2. avatar tdiinva says:

      Chicago’s murder rate is high but not that high. It is approximately 20 per 100k.

      1. avatar JoshinGA says:

        Actually less than even that. ~15.65 per 100K.

        1. avatar tdiinva says:

          That looks like 2011 data.

        2. avatar Totenglocke says:

          Given the 2011 estimate for their population (most recent I could find) and the 2012 murder numbers, Chicago has a murder rate of about 19.5 per 100,000 people.

  8. avatar amagi says:

    People like this are precisely the reason why some of us want to keep our guns.

  9. avatar 1911girl says:

    MOREHEAD CITY!!! I lived there the worst that happens there is Jar heads getting into a bar fight with local yocals !!! NOWHERE NEAR CHICAGO already at 40 murders this year, safer is it???? Such an ignorant statement im beyond myself!!! —

  10. avatar gloomhound says:

    Mr Farago you wrote that didn’t you.

    Come on tell the truth.

    You are just trolling the leftist down in Carteret County aren’t you.

    1. avatar Robert Farago says:

      Nuh-uh. The letter’s gone viral, as well.

      1. avatar Anon in CT says:

        As in massive dementia brought on by syphillis?

      2. avatar Chris says:

        Yeah you probably should have added a /Sarcasm or /satire note because some people can’t tell by the context alone. I get enough inaccurate email forwards from gullible relatives, don’t need to see the same problem manifested in the comments here.

  11. “civilized part of the country where there is strict gun control”

    It’s so civilized here that the kids rob other kids with stolen paint ball guns. Word is they’re dressed in suits, stick their pinkies out and talk like Thurston Howell III while demanding the goods.

    As previously stated, this has to be sarcasm.

    Illustrating Chicagoland Idiocy, Mayhem and Stupidity at heyjackass.com

  12. avatar Billy Colman says:

    Ive read more factual, intelligent letters to Santa Clause from preschoolers. I mean come on, is that a joke?

  13. avatar George says:

    I’m not sure what is more embarrassing, knowing people who think like this or sharing humanity with them.

  14. avatar Bill says:

    Click on the link to read the last paragraph. It is borderline brain-dead writing.

  15. avatar Frank says:

    Facepalm!!!! Its not April Fools Day guys…Really.

  16. avatar Ric W says:

    it gets even worse if you read the entire thing. Either it’s written as a joke or this is one seriously confused/uneducated/stupid person. Click the link at the bottom of the quote above.

    1. avatar JoshinGA says:

      I didnt think it could get worse (it did). That letter was filled with the most ignorant statements I have ever seen, and they self identify as a Democrat (go figure).

  17. avatar Gyufygy says:

    Apparently, somebody has never left Morehead City.

    I feel really weird saying this as a California-born transplant to North Carolina, but if you don’t like the South, GTFO.

  18. avatar Roll says:

    If this idiot doesnt think the US Constitution/Bill of rights are great then LEAVE MY COUNTRY. GET THE F$#K OUT.

    BTW where did this idiot get his stats from? Chicago safe? Didnt that girl that just play at Obama’s inaguration JUST get killed less than a month ago? I just had a friend come back from there just a bit ago and it is a war zone, shootings every night.

    There are probably places in Iraq right now that are safer than Chicago, this person is an idiot.

    Fellow TTAGers, this is the Anti-American stupidity we have to deal with…WTF, over?

  19. avatar pk in AZ says:

    And of course this idiot kool-aid drinking asshat just has to throw the RACE CARD IN!

    Quote: “The Republicans are just trying to stand in the way, because the president is black……”

  20. avatar jbarr says:

    To those who don’t like how the Constitution is written, use the already established process to invoke change. It’s been done before, and it’s certainly available to ANY American to get involved in. BUT, the President has ZERO ability to legally change the Constitution. THAT is up to Congress. He can sign the Amendment, but HE cannot make any changes.

    And if you don’t like this methodology that has proven itself over the past 200+ years, then please choose one of the many other countries who would be happy to take you.

  21. avatar jerry says:

    I would guess this is satire, pretty funny though.

    1. avatar JustAJ says:

      Maybe, until you realize that there are people who think exactly the way this writer does (or pretends to if it is satire). And there are a LOT more of them than you might think.

    2. avatar William Burke says:

      It’s a lonely feeling, isn’t it – being able to see it’s a joke, while everybody else is becoming apoplectic that’s satire, plain as the nose on your face?

  22. avatar Dan says:

    WOW – at first I thought it was a joke. But then I realized it was just … well … completely pathetic.

  23. avatar Upstater says:

    There are two tribes in this “discussion”. Reason People (RP)and Emotion People (EP). The gun owners tend to be Reason People. Having knowledge of and experience with firearms we RPs filter the world through what we know: inanimate objects are not responsible for the actions of their operators. EPs (from my reason person perspective) give themselves over to the emotion of the moment, in this case projected grief over Sandy Hook (but not the low speed massacre in Chicago), and allow that emotion to govern their thoughts and actions. That’s why there are so many calls to “do something” without a thought of what should be done. The politicos, having built the EPs into a reliable voting bloc, then come out with some half-baked plan that satisfies them but infuriates and confuses us RPs because it doesn’t actually fix anything.

    Until something happens in this society to return reason to it’s rightful place in crafting public policy there can be no compromise with the EPs. We don’t share a common language or a common reality. We’re living on different planets.

  24. avatar John says:

    OMG! Is it April Fools Day already?

  25. avatar Bob2 says:

    I have has several very similar conversations with Obama loyalists. This quote may be satire or some attempt to make dems look bad, but many Dem voters think like this. Interestingly, these people will be loyal to Obama to the end no matter what this regime does. I read a number of books on the rise of the 3rd Reich, and this blind loyalty was like a plague.

  26. avatar JTPhilly says:

    Later in the letter, he supports his case for the Constitution needing to be changed by talking about the “natural born citizen” requirement:

    “Well, that is obviously unfair because there are a great many otherwise qualified people who cannot run for president because their mothers had to have a C-section. But because the Constitution was written a hundred years ago, nobody even thought of the discrimination that would result from a doctor having to deliver a baby in this unnatural way. Now that we Democrats are in control of the government, that’s just one more thing we should change in our drive to make life fair.”

    1. avatar Todd Price says:

      Ha ha! Though Shakespeare did write about such a possibility in the character of MacDuff (in Macbeth) about 170 years before the Constitution.

  27. avatar Chuck says:

    Troll level=Genius

  28. avatar Dave says:

    Liberals have broken brains. Problem is, their vote cancels out yours. I worry about the future.

  29. avatar Derek says:

    Guys, relax. It’s sarcasm. It’s funny cus it’s an obvious troll and the editors at that website didn’t catch it (or they agreed with it) and posted it as a serious opinion article.

  30. avatar Joe says:

    That was the funniest piece of satire I’ve seen in a while… Or the scariest if people do think that way. The fact that they mention it want viral seems to indicate they are in on the joke

    1. avatar Herb says:

      Hey, go to the thread titled “Are We Men?” There’s somebody calling himself Great Lenin’s Ghost who posts like he’s a hardcore communist who hates capitalism & the Constititution. I wrote back `no you’re not, you’re just putting us on.” Told him to go post at Daily Kos.

  31. avatar Edohiguma says:

    Well, just a few days ago I was told that an AR15 without any after market parts can fire bursts and should thus be totally and utterly banned because it is an assault rifle/weapon (both terms mixed freely throughout the “discussion”.)

    So, honestly, no, I don’t think this is satire or sarcasm. This is very likely to be the real thing. They really have no clue about reality. When you bring them reasonable arguments against their approach, like real life examples of how their beloved gun control/ban doesn’t really work and examples how armed citizenry defending themselves works (the best example is always UK vs Austria, UK with the ban, Austria with almost 30% of people being armed and rising number permits, and UK having astronomically more violent crime -including gun violence- than Austria), they’re quick to call you an NRA shill and similar.

    They are immune to facts, but the cheap, hysterical, highly emotional hyperbole, that’s what they love.

    1. avatar William Burke says:

      This is SO obviously SATIRE. Americans have lost more than their freedoms; they’ve lost their sense of humor.

  32. avatar DrewR55 says:

    If this is a satirical piece then it is pure gold… But if it is a legitimate op-ed then the world just got a little dimmer for me.

    1. avatar Chris says:

      If it isn’t satire, I like to call moments like those “Prefrontal Cortex Brownouts. That and the obvious cognitive dissonance about Obama.

  33. avatar MattK1 says:

    Chicago & less gun violence aren’t usually used in the same sentence.

    1. avatar Chris says:

      Violence in general, why does the method of applying violence matter, right? ….Unless one is projecting fears and pushing an agenda.

  34. avatar Wilson says:

    I know people who think like this. Hard times will educate most of these people, they really have no concept of government oppression and civil unrest. It’s like trying to explain the gas chamber at the pound to your house dog.

  35. avatar Chas says:

    This fool is a prime example of WHY there can be NO COMPROMISE with these people. NONE.

  36. avatar Chuck says:

    Hey I agree with those of you who use the stupidity of democrats as a justification that this is real. But if you read the whole thing, you realize it has to be a troll. The snark is just to perfect.

  37. avatar Glimmer says:

    The bit later about the C-section makes it clear that this is parody.

    1. avatar Brad says:

      Agreed – the grammar and syntax. There are no errors. An educated person wrote this as satire. However, as Homer Simpson says, “It’s funny `cause it’s true.”

  38. avatar RKflorida says:

    “I don’t know the exact statistics but…”

    That says it all, doesn’t it? I’ll bet the writer doesn’t only not know the “exact” statistics, but doesn’t know the approximate, general, ballpark, or any other kind of statistics.

  39. avatar Aharon says:

    Morehead City and Chicago Comparative Crime Ratios per 100,000 People

    Murder Comparisons per 100,000:
    Morehead City, NC 11.1
    Chicago, IL 16.4
    National 7


    1. avatar Aharon says:

      BTW, the city were I live is Portland Oregon. Oregon has a gun ownership rate of about 57%+ of adults which is higher than the national average. The murder rate in Portland is 3.7 people per 100,000 residents.

      1. avatar CarlosT says:

        Yeah, the Northwest should have blood running in the streets, everywhere, but somehow we keep forgetting to shoot the place up. Maybe the guns are defective.

        Seriously though, last time I looked, Seattle had a homicide rate of 2.5 per 100,000. That’s for a city of over 650,000 people. The burbs and rural areas were even lower. All with extremely free gun laws.

  40. avatar Matt in FL says:

    Almost had me. Almost.

  41. avatar DisThunder says:

    I got a good chuckle out of it. It doesn’t hurt that really was intentionally funny.

    Much better than the laughing I do instead of crying, reading most of these.

  42. avatar Ralph says:

    This letter was laugh out loud funny. Of course it was satire — and damn good satire at that. The whole “natural born” riff was just a killer.

    The tone reminded me of Connie Meskimen’s hilarious spoof letter from 2007 about the extension of Daylight Savings Time causing global warming because it would add extra hour of daylight. Meskimen is a lawyer from Arkansas who knows snark when he writes it.

    1. avatar William says:

      That WAS good. To the point it rose above mere satire, into the prankster category… Y’know, like that “RENAME THE GYPSY MOTH!” guy who used to come on morning talk shows… Joey Adams.

      “CALL IT THE HITLER MOTH! CALL IT THE IDI AMIN MOTH!! CALL IT ANYTHING BUT THE GYPSY MOTH!!!”, he’d rant, pretending to be an offended Gypsy.

    2. avatar William Burke says:

      Some here have been informed it’s obviously satirical, but they’d still rather believe it’s real, because it reinforces their hatred of liberals.

      I’m here to say if you recognize the satire (not hard at all), it’s STILL okay to hate liberals.

      Laughing and lightening up is a good thing, even if you only participate for thirty seconds.

      1. avatar Matt in FL says:

        I suppose it’s a little late for this (10 posts later), but it’s really not necessary for you to go through and answer every individual person who didn’t get the joke in month-plus old post.

  43. avatar DrVino says:


  44. avatar Jeh says:

    This has to be a joke, nobody is this stupid. If this isn’t a joke he’s either deliberately lying or a high school kid who spends to much time on Facebook.

  45. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

    I could not stop laughing!

  46. avatar William says:


    Cancel my constriction to the restitution.

  47. avatar ame says:

    Traitorous Redcoat

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