Quote of the Day: Empathy Edition

“”Most sexual assaults happen between people who know one another. You’re going to be in a close, kind of private setting … are you going to be willing to shoot the person that is your friend?” Debbie Melloan, Indiana University Sexual Assault Services Center counselor [via IPM]


  1. avatar Floyd D. Barber says:

    Are you going to be willing to rape someone who is your friend? This POS is far beyond the level of idiot.

    1. avatar psmcd says:

      “Payne and Melloan say students who know what constitutes sexual assault and the circumstances in which it usually happens are the ones who have a better chance of protecting themselves.”

      Actually, she does speak of situational awareness. If you deliberately compromise your safety, while carrying a gun, you’ve put the cart before the horse. What she’s saying is there is a behavioral incompatibility between certain choices and arming yourself.

      A young person who thoughtfully prepares for self defense would recognize the circumstances of sexual assault, avoid said circumstances, and be more selective of friends. Plus be armed and prepared to act. Thus having the best chance of protecting themselves.

      Does this not follow, Debbie?

    2. avatar RepubAnon says:

      Shorter version: the most common type of rape is date rape.

      Case in point: the Steubenville Ohio football players accused of “having their way” with a 16 year-old girl who had passed out.

    3. avatar Molon Labe says:

      More like Jackass.

    4. avatar Sanchanim says:

      So according to her they are asking for it then????

  2. avatar BLAMMO says:

    Yes. Twice. Then shoot ‘im again.

  3. avatar Will says:

    In my book, attempted rape nullifies the “Friend” status. So yeah, I think I could.

    1. avatar uncommon_sense says:


    2. avatar Hal says:

      I was thinking the same thing. I doubt she’ll be saying to herself “oh my god my friend why are you doing this to me?”

      As for the will to shoot that depends on a variety of factors.

    3. avatar Matt in FL says:

      It would certainly flip your Facebook status to “It’s complicated.”

  4. avatar pk in AZ says:

    I agree with both Floyd and BLAMMO…

    Why are we even giving “face time” to this asshat?

  5. avatar matt says:

    Well I suppose if a girl shoots her “rapist” and it turns out the accusation is false, then it might be the only time when there are actual consequences for her false accusation.

  6. avatar dirk diggler says:

    Ahah! A definition of legitimate rape!

  7. avatar Anon in CT With My Ban Compliant Musket says:

    Have you checked with Whoopi Goldberg?


  8. avatar Eric S. says:

    Are you willing to stab them in the eyes/face with your keys? I mean, isn’t that what sexual assault experts tell women to do? If you can stab someone in the eye, you have the intestinal fortitude to shoot them.

    1. avatar TTACer says:


      Use the least effective weapons in the history of combat in the most gruesome way possible rather than use a gun. Makes perfect sense.

      Here is a terribly sad story about what happens when a female gold medal winning Olympic level athlete without a weapon is attacked by a determined rapist who also does not have a weapon:


      1. avatar Joseph says:

        Ok, the story that you linked to is, to put it mildly hard to believe. I’m not going to categorically state that this woman wasn’t raped but there are a lot of holes in the way she tells it.

        1. avatar TTACer says:

          I know right? What a whore. She totally made up that story to, uh, get back at, uh, revenge for, uh?

          What? What could your point possibly be?

      2. avatar matt says:

        Today, I don’t want to be somebody who wasn’t raped. I absolutely think that it moved me in ways I can’t imagine I would’ve been moved had that not happened. The rape absolutely made me a better person.

  9. avatar 16V says:

    So, she doesn’t have in in her to shoot her ‘friend’, but sending them up for a 5-15 stretch plus a lifetime label as a sex offender, that’s no problem.

  10. avatar johnnosk says:

    Surprisingly enough… Most of my close friends have no problem of ending my life through any means at their disposal should I warrant death.

    Which is one reason that I don’t let my friends make me coffee!

    1. avatar Avid Reader says:

      I’m not sure I would want to be invited to your parties…

      1. avatar johnnosk says:

        I’m Australian, everything here want to kill you in some way. Between having the worlds most deadly snakes, scorpions, spiders, plants and sea life and having a land that will not tolerate a fool (At current, 1/3 of the country is on fire)

        You have to be tough to survive here… And slightly crazy to live here!

  11. avatar Oddux says:

    The point is a somewhat valid one if you look at it from a perspective of vigilance and mental preparedness.

    Add two words, change one and try it again: “Most sexual assaults happen between people who know one another. You’re going to be in a close, kind of private setting … are you going to be willing to shoot the person that YOU THOUGHT WAS your friend?”

    Self defense requires you predetermine your priorities and your boundaries and reinforce them in your mind before you find yourself in a position where you don’t have time to decide. A rapist is a feral animal, they are not your friend.

  12. avatar Randy Drescher says:

    Congrats, you found a way to soak up a good paycheck. I’m sure she has armed security too, cause I know I can barely keep it down, Randy

  13. avatar David says:

    My best friend tried to rape me. Wrote a song about it, wanna hear it here’s how it goes:

    I got rapists in low places . . .

    1. avatar Floyd D. Barber says:

      How about,

      I got friends in crawl spaces
      It’s been a while since we’ve seen their faces
      They attempted a rape,
      But I escaped

  14. avatar Pantera Vazquez says:

    So if a suitor turns to violence, it should be accepted-but not defended against? Only a Fartsack like her would make a statement like that, as she would obviously never find herself in an intimate situation. Furthermore, what of the victims of rapists unknown to them……..DUH didn’t think ’bout those……………………..

    1. avatar wa_2a says:

      Heh, fartsack…

  15. avatar New Chris says:

    Completely irrelevant point.

    The probability of any given person using a gun to defend themselves is irrelevant to the issue of people being allowed the choice to defend themselves.

    This is the sort of poor thinking and lack of logical rigor that drums people like me out of universities.

      1. avatar TTACer says:

        “The probability of any given person using a gun to defend themselves is irrelevant to the issue of people being allowed the choice to defend themselves. ”

        That wasn’t clear?

  16. avatar APBTFan says:

    That puts me in a pinch. I need my right hand to shoot but if I’m getting raped in a private setting normally my right hand is busy. Sometimes the left…..sometimes. I call her Helen.

    1. avatar MOG says:

      I have known women that, if they told me, “So help me, I am gonna rape you”…I would have told them, “So rape me, I will help you”.

      1. avatar Dr. Mike says:

        That is seriously funny!

  17. avatar Powers says:

    WTF is wrong with this idiot? So violent felony crimes against you committed by a friend/acquaintance or someone you know are ok and should not be resisted. And how do the courts define a friend as opposed to just someone you know?
    Like so many others, the foot is just to large to fit in the pie hole.

  18. avatar Flubnut says:

    Well, what about the “other” rapists? You know, the percentage of those who jump completely helpless women on their way home from a late night job? No one is suggesting that having a gun for self defence is the solution to ALL possible scenarios, but in plenty of circumstances, its the BEST solution. Asshat.

  19. avatar Frank says:

    You can know someone without being close, personal friends with them.

  20. avatar Tim says:

    Nothing says “no” when you really mean “no” like a hollow point to the groin.

  21. avatar dodgeman says:

    Bear in mind that her kind have been watering down the definition of rape for several decades. Rape used to be a violent felony, now it could just be a girl that wakes up the next morning with regret. So according to her world view, a guy trying to get past second base without asking permission the right way could get plugged with a .38.

    Always remember that liberals operate with a different dictionary than the rest of us, on purpose.

    1. avatar matt says:

      Rape could be hiring a stripper as the Duke Lacrosse team found out. One time I had a girl tell me she was “almost raped” because a guy on the train platform opposite her was staring at her.

    2. avatar Keith says:

      To the extent that this is her thinking, it would be less inscrutable.

      The larger point is reinforced, though. Utopianism is a moral, philosophical, and practical quagmire leading to an abyss.

  22. avatar Historian says:

    Victims who know their atackers are acquaintances much more often than actual friends. There is a clear distinction outside of the kumbaya zone, lady.

  23. avatar ThomasR says:

    The more I hear these so called “intellectuals” and thier so called “logic”, the more I feel I”m in some type of twilight zone episode: how can any person with with the ability to navigate the roads in a lethal weapon like a car or who can walk up a flight of successfully believe this kind of stuff.

    Gun free zones, freaking out at the idea of an armed person in the schools to protect against a mass murderer, blaming an inanimate object instead of the bad guy and now, because of thier COMPLETELY, delusional and irrational thinking, they are pushing for a gun ban that would bring the nightmare of civil war and all the atrocities that come it.

    G_d help us all. Please.

  24. avatar Wiregrass says:

    University of Indiana Students,

    A rapist is not your friend. If you cannot tell the difference, you need to stop listening to this woman.

  25. avatar Jack says:

    Yeah, if they were trying to stick their penis in me!

    “No, Bob! Put that away!”

    What does she expect me to put help them unzip or something?

  26. avatar Ivy Mike says:

    Meanwhile, “friendly” colleges, with the help of the Wall Street banksters and Potomac mafia, financially tie down and rape students of their future.

    No wonder they don’t want armed students.

    1. avatar matt says:

      Did you read the article you linked? It said that students are defaulting own their loans, if anything the students are raping the tax payers. With colleges merely being willing accomplices.


      Pay as You Earn, by contrast, limits student-loan payments to 10% of “discretionary income” as defined by government formulas. Borrowers who make regular payments could have the remaining unpaid amounts forgiven after 20 years… Monthly payments can increase or decrease each year based on the borrower’s income and family size… Borrowers with public-service jobs may qualify for loan forgiveness after just 10 years.”

  27. avatar Christoff says:

    Is the question totally stupid? Perhaps not all women are the battle-tested, stone-cold killas that so many TTAG readers and James Yeagermeister obviously are.

  28. avatar Jason says:

    Yeah, just lay back and enjoy it.

  29. avatar ken says:

    I had some fun in their comment section.

  30. avatar Lolinski says:

    If they are raping me they are NOT my friend anymore.

  31. avatar Aharon says:

    The definition of sixual assault and rap keep getting changed or expanded. It used to be clear cut forced physical six. Now, the CDC, defines as one example of rap to include an even more drunk wife than a drunk husband have six when the wife was the one who suggested six and yet she can’t make a somber decision to have six. It becomes his fault and rap! A peniz can rap a vajina yet a vajina can’t rap a peniz. Please excuse my intentional misspellings since I’m trying to keep the filters here from swallowing up and deleting my comment.

    The statistics on rape include tallies from surveys that would conclude a rap if the woman responded that she once had six when she said she wasn’t in the mood or did not want to have six but was persuaded to have six (even though there was no physical force) by another person ie the boyfriend, lover, etc.

    University/college campuses are very safe for women. The old feminist claim that one in three later changed to one in four women will be raped there has been debunked numerous times. The actual numbers of reported or claimed rapes are something like fifteen(?) cases in an environment with several thousand women students. That number was taken from a study that tallied four Boston area schools and the number of rapes reported by students against other students.

    Males and females do sometimes have different perceptions about rape. Sometimes after a drunk casual hook-up with lots of sex the male later puts it down to a fun one-night stand. Some females will (if the male does not later call her) emotionally process it out over the next few days that she was taken advantage of ie made a ‘victim’ and raped. Mens Rights Advocates suggest that men at least call a woman after having a one-night stand or take her out for breakfast as friends to reduce the risk the woman might flip out.

    The Sixual Grievance Industry (SGI) is a large money making machine that offers employment to some very strange and nasty people.

    1. avatar 16V says:

      A peniz can rap a vajina yet a vajina can’t rap a peniz.

      Apparently you need to rewatch Thursday. Although it was Paulina, it was not the hottest Paulina…

      1. avatar Aharon says:

        If I had and watched TV I would. Meantime, maybe you could get the USG to watch it?

        There was a case in I believe Stockton California when a woman, at a party and in front of others, stripped a man who was passed out drunk and mounted him having ‘enter-course’. She became pregnant and had the kid. The man was held by the courts to be responsible for paying child support.

        1. avatar 16V says:

          Ok, perhaps just watch Thursday. Or don’t. It was early Skip Woods, dark comedy, Tarantino trashy if you’re into such stuff. It was kinda off the radar, I shouldn’t assume everyone has seen it.

          The Stockton thing is a scary example, but consistent with the party line of the family courts, CA especially. “Child support is only about the welfare of the child” regardless of whether she raped him and stole his sperm. Especially since he was “too drunk to consent to sex”.

    2. avatar matt says:

      In Kansas, it is rape if a teacher has consentual sex with a student who is of the age of consent.

      It is also rape is she changes her mind after the fact

      1. avatar matt says:

        In India it is rape if you fail to carry thru on your promise to marry the girl after having sex with her

        In Israel it is rape if you tell someone you’re a Jew when you’re really a Arab

        1. avatar Aharon says:

          I believe in Israel the law does not recognize an act as rap if an adult woman seduces or otherwise has six with a child or minor. Of course if an adult man does the same act he is prosecuted for rap.

        2. avatar Lucas D. says:

          Prosecuted for “rap,” you say? Oh, you silly utopians and your visions of a perfect world…

  32. avatar Aharon says:

    There is an interesting site (one of a kind) called the Society of the Wrongly Accused. It is the successor to The False Rape Society. The site’s publisher is an attorney who has documented far more than 2,000 false rape allegations which sadly are only the very tip of the spear. The site provides a great service documenting all the individual lives that have been destroyed by false rape allegations (FRAs) and how the laws and courts are biased against men. Collectively the false rape hysteria in our culture is very damaging for society as a whole.


  33. avatar MOG says:

    I guess rape by a friend would be an assault with a friendly weapon?

  34. avatar Gs650g says:

    For a minute there I thought she was a republican senate candidate.

  35. avatar DerryM says:

    Given the promiscuity reported amongst today’s Teenagers and College Students…how can you tell the difference between consensual sex (driven by peer pressure, alcohol and drugs) and forcible rape?
    This woman is pouring fuel on the fire of “decriminalizing” sexual intercourse that may “not be exactly fully consensual for both parties’ “. Making excuses for less than honorable behavior in social relations seems to be part of the Progressive-Socialist mindset and is just plain wrong. Telling women that it’s wrong to defend themselves against perceived forcible rape from a “friend” is beyond wrong. If that’s the new meme, then all the women’s rights movement has accomplished is to paint women as objects of sexual gratification for any male who “imagines” the woman is a “friend”. Any man who has had a few drinks (and/or other intoxicants) and gets an erection knows “the dumbstick needs little excuse to act without a conscience”.

    I hope this person gets her vibrator fixed soon. Maybe her head will clear and she’ll see how completely wrong she is….or, she could just go get drunk with some College Boys…I think it’s still true that the only difference between a pig and a fox is about three Martinis…

  36. avatar CA_Chris says:

    Most, but not all. There are still too many rapes occurring each year in which the victim would have conceivable misgiving about shooting someone they know.

    And, knowing your attacker does not mean they are someone that you trust or have any positive opinion about.

    The point about “most rapes” is really only applicable to a few circumstances. And, you can disable a rapist without hitting anything vital to life, if you know what I mean. Then you would be doing your supposedly dearly beloved attacker a favor. Win/win.

  37. avatar Chas says:

    Wow, some peoples’ lack of critical thinking skills is astounding, especially for someone who is supposedly a “counselor”.

  38. avatar tnelsen says:

    News flash: People who try to sexually assault you are not, I repeat, not your friends.

  39. avatar rb says:

    If you have a friend like that, perhaps you should find better ones or, just stay home.

  40. avatar Aharon says:

    I’m not sure what the latest mantra is for women while experiencing rape. Rape Crisis Advisors used to tell women to simply submit if a man tries raping them to prevent worse injuries. Last year, the mayor of Washington DC and his cronies suggested that everyone simply cooperate with their attackers if robbed or assaulted on the street. A woman sarcastically asked him how he defines cooperate with an attacker if she gets sexually assaulted.

  41. avatar Mindflayer says:

    Friends don’t sexually assault you.

  42. avatar Ralph says:

    Did that fat fool actually say that? What a dipsh!t.

    1. avatar Accur81 says:

      Methinks she’s not in much danger of a sexual assault.

  43. avatar Jesus says:

    There is a line that someone crosses to go from “Friend” to “Target”.

  44. avatar In Memphis says:

    WTF did I just read?

  45. avatar RKflorida says:

    BTW, Debbie is also the LGBT anti-discrimination counselor for the university. You might say that she is exclusively involved with fringe sex. Yes, this is actually a job in our modern universities. And pays very well, thank you. I’m in the twilight zone.

  46. avatar Lance says:

    They complain about Yeager’s dumb rant this is even dumber.

  47. avatar Leo338 says:

    Come on! Look at that lady, this is all about wanting attention. She is desperate for some action and this is her way of telling her “friend” that she secretly wants him to rape her. I don’t see this porker getting action any other way.

  48. avatar Ross says:

    She looks like she jumped on a bicycle with the seat removed and she not quite sure what to think of it.

  49. avatar Jerryboy says:

    logic would dictate(to someone capable of logic, that is) that someone who tries to rape you is not your friend.

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