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Time is money. But so are words. Devising a new product name for a gun or firearm-related product costs a manufacturer thousands of dollars. If you’re a big company like, say, Beretta, who must (must!) hire brand consultants and lawyers (oh yes, lots of lawyers) to select an appropriately evocative name and check to see that some guy in Iowa hasn’t already registered it for a farm implement he makes in his garage, the cappuccino bill alone is astronomico. But that doesn’t stop the parade of made-up misegos. This very day, Beretta introduced a pocket pistol named after half an Orkian sign-off. And check this press release on the new Beretta A400 Xtreme Unico Shotgun (with Realtree MAX-4 Camo) . . .

Beretta is proud to introduce the new A400 Xtreme Unico, available in Realtree MAX-4.

This camo 12-gauge shotgun features Kick-Off MEGA’s 70% recoil reduction, Blink’s 36% faster cycling of any 12ga. load, and the exclusive Aqua Technology’s corrosion-proof barrier.

Steelium technology, together with the exclusive Optima-Bore HP profile, give this shotgun’s barrel excellent and unique ballistic characteristics, even with steel shot.

So what gun word gets you goin’? No, Criminal Minds fans, “unsub” doesn’t count. I love the word Glock—although it sounds a lot better spoken with a German accent that a Row Deyeland twang. Name your fave.


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  1. I don’t know what I would have said before I read that press release from Beretta, but it is now “Steelium”

    Sounds like one of Derek Zoolander’s looks.

  2. I like saying Tritium, not specifically a gun word but I only ever get to use it in normal conversation as it pertains to firearms.

  3. Unobtanium. That is the substance from which accurate, sturdy, light weight, low recoil and inexpensive firearms are made.

  4. Giggle switch.

    Once saw a large gentleman with “Un-love handle” etched near the safety on an AK, that’s a close second.

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