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Another day, another gun store. In contrast to my last experience, where a “take a number” machine was obvious by its absence, tumbleweeds blew across the floor. And no wonder. The store was harder to find than a cigar smoker in a maternity ward. I’ve seen mid-rank collectors with a greater number and variety of firearms. The salesmanship was cursory at best, derisory at worst. When a rube entered their darkened den and asked for a handgun for his wife (who couldn’t deal with a semi), the sales guy whipped out a Smith & Wesson Airlight and said “All she has to do is pull the trigger. You can’t miss.” Wow. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever heard in a gun store (aside from the price of a Wilson Combat 1911)?

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  1. “…I don’t like Heckler and Koch. I think they are not that well made and are over-rated, over-priced and imported!”

    – Gun shop Employee (happy Glock owner), Cleveland, Ohio

    In reference to my love of the Mark 23

    • I had one gun store clerk (who I knew was an avid video gamer and had in fact been going to school to design video games) insist that I didn’t want another CZ because “Glocks are way more accurate”.

      Now you can call a CZ any number of things, but when it comes to inherent accuracy, they’re right up there with the best.

        • me too, they seem almost liek phantoms. I always read and hear good things, but no one i know or have spoken to has experience with CZ pistols, they do make some of the most accurate “out of the box” 22lr rifles around however.

        • i have been educating myself about CZ’s 452 FS model, i think this might be next safe addition for me.

  2. This:

    Customer: “Hi, do you have the Smith and Wesson Sigma in .40?”
    Salesperson: “No, we sold out earlier this week. We should have some coming in a few weeks.”
    Customer: “Well, what’s your cheapest .40 you have?”
    Salesperson: “Well, we have the Springfield XD for (price of gun)”
    Customer: “Do you offer a law enforcement discount?”
    “Salesperson: No, I’m afraid we’re not set up for individuals to use that. What agency in the Valley uses Sigmas?”
    Customer: “(Insert name of private security company here that does bike patrols of apartment complexes).”

    And the “customer” in question was an out-of-shape kid barely in his twenties who brought his mom along with him to help buy the gun.


    • sounds liek this guy has more issues, that what weapon to choose after running away from one of the worst firearm designs in modern history (this excludes all hi point products).

  3. Not from the clerk I know and trust, but another employee: “I’m going to change the springs and relief cut the slide on my Glock to get it to cycle faster. It’s slowing me down in the pistol matches.”

  4. A guy was looking at a sling, and asked the clerk, “Is this the tactical one?”
    The clerk shook his head a little and replied, “Yeah, this is the one, it’s black, and canvas, it’s the tactical one.”

  5. Things overheard while I was shopping around for my first gun:
    1. This .357 snubnose is perfect for your wife’s first gun.
    2. If you want a real home defense gun you should get this single action .45. (They were on sale, the store had a bunch of them)
    3. This ar-15 is perfect for getting rid of those pesky crows.
    And my all-time (so far) favorite:
    4. Yeah, those gang-bangers have been hanging around on our block too. We have some special rock salt loads for your shotgun. Just shoot one of the ‘bangers with those and they won’t ever bother you again, and besides the rock salt loads are non-lethal so you won’t even have to go to court for shooting them.

  6. Female Patron: “…it needs to be tiny, not buck a lot, and I want to put a beam on it.”


    Gun Store Guru: “Nine millimeter Kurz, which means ‘small’ in German. You can use it instead of standard nine millimeter if you want a lighter load.”

  7. I had a gunstore clerk in Coos County Oregon try to sell me a Frankenstein “sniper” Imbel FN-FAL with a Barska 6×24 (or so) for $6000.00. I played dumb so then he continued…
    Gunstore Commando: “Barska is really high quality. Top of the line. They use Schott glass from Germany.”
    me: Really? Wow! I didn’t know that. (?!?!) Barska is made in Russia, right?
    Gunstore Commando: Yeah, I think so.
    I had to kill another 1/2 hour or so before a meeting, and so I decided to play with him a bit.
    Me: “I have a Belgium-made heavy barrelled FN-FALO with wood stocks in my car. I’m not sure what its worth but it has a pretty wood stock on it… Would you consider a trade?”
    After I showed him the rifle he said he would give me $1500 “credit” towards his “sniper” FN-FAL. I told him that it sounded like a good deal and I would think about it. (As if!)
    He then told me that he was a former “Navy SEAL.”
    Me: Wow! Thats so kool. What BUDS class did you go through?
    Him: “Um, Gee, I forgot. It was a long time ago.”
    Me: “Oh, that’s too bad. I understand. Well, at least that commando background gave you plenty of experience to be a clerk at a gun store, eh?”

    • I’m in the Navy (NOT a SEAL) and I hate it when these types use the “I was in (insert specops unit)” to sell their crap.

      I had a clerk at a gun store in my home state say he was a SEAL. A few questions about what his service proved pretty quickly that the closest he had come to being a SEAL (or in the Navy for the matter) was dying on level 1 of Call of Duty. As soon as he realized I was active duty Navy he immediately tried to retreat and cover his tracks…too late.

      I demanded to see the manager/owner and gave both of them an earful about what I thought of people that lied about military service. The owner (a former marine) was so enraged and embarrassed, that he fired the guy on the spot.

      • this is awesome news, it makes me sick when people lie about serving, no doubt a result of growing up in a Vietnam vet’s home.

      • I was in a gun store near where my friend lives and I could tell that this supposed “just out of the army” kid knew nothing about any of the guns he was selling…at least he admitted to not knowing though. Most of the clerks there didn’t seem to know much…the gun smith seemed to know his stuff though…same with the owner

  8. This amusing little incident took place centered not too long ago centered around the Chiappa Rhino:

    Customer #1: Whats the deal with this ugly ass revolver? Why does it look like that?

    Guy behind the counter: I have no idea. It sure is ugly isnt it?

    Customer #1: Yeah, its really strange looking.

    Me: It shoots out of the bottom cylinder where as a traditional revolver is designed to shoot out of the top.

    Customer #1: Oh… So, its got a lot less felt recoil and muzzle flip.

    Me: Yeah

    About 10 minutes later…

    Customer #2: Hey, whats the deal with this ugly ass revolver?

    Same guy behind the counter: “Well, the manufacturer tells us that it is designed to shoot out of the bottom cylinder so that there will be a considerable reduction in felt recoil and muzzle flip.”

    Me: Rolls eyes and shakes head in disbelief.

    Guy behind the counter: Looks at me and gets the same look of shame on his face that my dog gets if she pees on the floor.

    • What’s he supposed to say? “Some customer schooled me on this 10 minutes ago”

      It’s pretty funny because I can picture it perfectly but I was somewhat expecting him to say “I don’t know but they sure are ugly” a second time.

  9. Been at this shop before, good service.

    I had done business there before. Bought several firearms.

    Nearby had my car needing work, needing a couple of hours.

    So with nothing else to do I walked and vistaed the GS.

    Walked in said HI to somebody I recognized and told him, “My car is being worked on at XXX and just for the heck of it came by just to “kill time.”

    Another person behind the counter told me to not to say “kill time”.

    I asked why and he just said to not do it.

    Long story short, it was like ten 15yrs ago and I know I asked again why, and eventually just walked out.

    I did go back later and bought a gun.
    Never understood the problem.

  10. Me (holding unmarked box of TulAmmo .45): How much does this cost?

    Clerk: $29.95

    Me: For a box of steel cased Russian ammo?

    Clerk: We carry Brown Bear for only $26.95

    Me: Facepalm and exit store

    • Okay, so maybe that wasn’t heard at a gun store. However, I remember hearing it somewhere. I just can’t remember.

  11. I have received the same silly advice twice now that you do not need to aim a shotgun. However, some of the experiences that you guys had are just incredible.

    Perhaps we should have a “common gunsense” test before someone can take a job as a gun shop commando so no one gets hurt.

  12. “I’m training to get a job with the Secret Service. Hey, is that one a’ them Call of Duty guns?”

    – Mall security guy at the the Crossfire shooting range (also gun store), unable to group at 10 feet with his obscenely loud .45, asking about my PS90.

  13. There was a six-episode “reality” show that I actually kind of liked that took place at a Colorado gun shop.
    It’s centered around one particular clerk, a youngish fellow in his late 20s/early 30s.
    One day he’s asked about the stopping power of .38 Special vs. .45 ACP.
    His answer: he takes out a pair of shoes from behind the counter and places them in front of him, and points to them.
    “A .45 will knock him right out of these” he said.

  14. One store owner told me that my 500’s doesn’t have great stopping power. He then tried to sell me some cheap charter arms 38 cuz it’ll take down any bad guy. I have a better chance of stopping a bad guy by throwing one of my 700 grain T-Rex rounds at a crook than I do by using one of his useless guns. This guy had a bunch of crappy guns and I’ve got more guns in my collection than he’s got in his whole store.

  15. a rube entered their darkened den and asked for a handgun for his wife

    I’d make that trade in a heartbeat. Hell, I’d even throw in my daughter if the store added a box of ammo.

    • I wonder what the defense for that looks like?

      officer eyeballing the big blood stain leading into your house.
      ” I swear he broke into my house and I shot him, then he ran outside collapsed, and then crawled his way back inside it was the strangest thing.”

    • Is funny but a lot of the folks I have talked to at the ranges in Ohio say the same thing. Weird seeing how there is an extended castle doctrine and all that.

  16. Miami Armory in Ohio. I was in the store with my Dad. Fat guy with knives everywhere walks in starts talking with the clerk about how when he was stationed at Fort Drum how they would drop 81mm mortars on herd of deer. After that he started talking about gemtech silencers. It quickly got worse so we got the hell out of there.

  17. When some self-proclaimed gun expert remarks “I’ve never shot a revolver before.”

    Also, generally that a lot of folk seem to know nothing about revolvers, assume they are “obsolete” and think they are generally all equivalent, while they believe the nuances between glock models to make them significantly distinct from each other. I love it when a guy think’s he’s a gunsmith because he can field strip his glock but can’t figure out how to open the loading gate of a SAA.

    My brother owns a brick-and-mortor gun store and I work it when I visit him for “vacation”, so really it’s hard to think of the single dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. It all blends together. We call it “common knowledge” or “forum echo”.

  18. I was in a chain store once looking at .380’s. The guy that came to help me obviously wanted everyone to think that he knew what he was talking about. I was looking at the TCP and LCP. The guy told me that the TCP was nice because it had a last round hold open feature (which is true and I didn’t know at the time that the LCP didn’t). He then said that it was too bad they didn’t put a slide release lever on it and you had to rack the slide to release it. I pointed to the small lever on the side of the TCP and said, “What’s that?” He said it was the take down lever. He pushed it and the slide released. He got this really confused look on his face and gave me some lame excuse about handling too many guns that day. I thanked him and said I was done.
    A few minutes later I was looking at rifles. I heard the same guy telling a customer buying a .22 for his kid that he should by the 10/22 because the Marlin .22’s were so unreliable. I didn’t catch the guy before he took off, but I would have told him exactly how my Model 60 performs if I had.

  19. At the new Cabela’s we just had put in near us I saw a guy, about in his twenties, wearing a baggy hoody, sagging basketball shorts, sideways ballcap, and a gold chain around his neck; he was there looking at a 410 Snake Charmer. As if this wasn’t enough he would hold it with one hand and hol up the other trying to see how it would feel to duel wield it. He obviously thought he was the epitome of “street” and having two single shot shotguns would the best weapon combo. You could tell the clerk just wanted him to leave to help all the other folks in line behind him.

  20. I’m sure there are others, but this is what comes to mind first.
    clerk: “we have these…you can shoot these here” as he proceeds to walk to a stack of silver bear 7.62x54R after I mention (as part of conversation) that I can’t shoot my mosin at their indoor range due to all my ammo for it being steel core and it’ll go through their back stop
    me: “I thought those are steel core”
    clerk: “nope”
    he seemed as though he believed that he knew what he was talking about too. idiot…
    I did go back a couple of weeks later though after I got paid and bought several boxes…since they were 5 bucks a box. not gonna up a good deal like that

  21. I had a clerk tell me that it was illegal to modify a firearm in any way at all if I did it myself instead of taking it to a gunsmith.

    He told me this right after a redguard saw me holding a SxS coach gun and had commented “Maaan, I’d just saw that thing off, as long as the barrel’s 18 inches.”

    Completely oblivious to the 26″ minimum length.

  22. I got into an interesting conversation with a store clerk who told me that the .380 caliber is all around better than a 9mm and I should never carry 9mm. His reasoning being the fast moving round will go in and out. Where as the slow .380 won’t. So with that reasoning a .32 auto is much better than a .357 mag….lol


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